The American Idols Sing God's Music

Lord, I hate country music. Every year this is the worst theme night for me. Usually no one sounds good to me, because I hate the genre.

I could recognize that Phil was really, really good though. Country music seems to attract odd-looking guys, so he might actually have a career here. It's OK to be bald at a young age - you just wear a hat.

Jordin was AMAZING!!

I was really holding out hope that Sanjaya would wear a mullet wig and sing "Achy Breaky Heart." Alas, we got a crazy bandanna hairstyle and "Something to Talk About." He was back to his horrific self. It was just bad karaoke - and he's still not projecting. The best part of his performance was that it caused a nice fight to break out between Simon and Ryan. I love it when the Lovebirds fight. They make American Idol the most homoerotic singing competition on television.

LaKisha looked amazing (I'll ignore the boots). But it wasn't her best vocal! Country always screws these diva singers. Every year there's a really good singer who gets the boot too soon - and I'm worried it could be her.

Then Chris came along and stunk up the joint. He was pitchy, nasally, and he always seems out of breath to me. Then he throws the A-hole opportunistic move of giving a shout-out to everyone at Virginia Tech. Because he's from Virginia. Simon rolled his eyes. I don't blame him - the kid knows what he's doing. He's in hot water, so he pulls a symapthetic move. Well played, Chris. That makes me hate you more.

Melinda was great, of course. I just wasn't feeling the song. Her hair was MUCH better. I kind of feel bad for her because I read that she knows people call her Shrek. Kind of.

I wasn't really feeling Blake's song, but he did well. The man has no lips, but he was showing the tattoos again, which always scores points with me.

Go home: In a perfect world, Sanjaya. In a world I can live in, Chris. In the world we live in, LaKisha.