Six years and it comes down to this. Two-and-a-half hours. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Lost was a great show. Well, it started out great, lagged in the middle, and got good again. Might as well go out before it goes bad again, eh? It's ending tonight, and I'll definitely miss most of these characters (not you, Jack). Let's do this thing.
Off-Island: Jack's dad's body is delivered to the church by Oceanic, and Desmond is there to sign for it.
Hurley and Sayid pick up a drunk-ass Charlie for the concert. Charlie doesn't want to go, so Hurley totally tranqs him. Next, they make their way to a bar where Shannon and Boone are being accosted. When Sayid touches Shannon, they both have their flashbacks, and kiss. YAY SAYID AND SHANNON! I freaking loved them together. Boone was working with Hurley and arranged for Shannon to be there to meet Sayid. How. Effing. Sweet.
Sun is in the hospital recovering from her gunshot wound, and everything seems fine, even with the unborn baby. Juliet is her baby doctor so YAY JULIET! As Juliet is examining her, Sun has flashbacks to their time on the Island doing the same thing. Jin's flashbacks soon follow.
Jack begins operating on Locke. And it's revealed that Juliet is indeed Jack's son's mother. BOO! Juliet belongs with Sawyer. *pout* Jack doesn't deserve Juliet.
Backstage at the concert, Charlotte and Daniel meet up. YAY CHARLOTTE AND DANIEL! Then when he's on stage, Charlie sees Claire. YAY CHARLIE AND CLAIRE! OK, so there are quite a few couples on this show that I desperately love.
Claire goes into labor backstage, and Kate and Charlie are there to help (just like on the Island). It's at that point that Kate has her flashback to the Island. And it's at that point I gag at the sight of spoogy baby. Then Charlie and Claire have their flashbacks.
On the Island: Jack, the newly-Christened Protector of the Island, tells the crew that they have to travel to The Heart of the Island to protect it from Smokey. Desmond is with Rose and Bernard (and Vincent) in their happy little Retirement Camp. It's not happy for long though - Smokey and Ben walk in. I yell out, "Don't kill Rose" at this point. Smokey threatens to kill Rose and Bernard unless Desmond goes with him, and so Desmond does. Thank you, Desmond.
Miles is with Richard, who is alive after being thrown by Smokey. Richard has a gray hair, realizes he wants to live, and they set out to blow up the plane. As they row over to it, they come upon Frank in the water. YAY FRANK! Now instead of blowing up the plane, Frank plans on piloting them out on it.
The 2 teams meet up and Jack and Locke face off, with Jack telling Locke he's going to kill him once they're at the Heart of the Island. They all trek off, and once they get to a certain point, Locke says it should just be him, Jack, and Desmond the rest of the way. They arrive at the light cave thingy, and Desmond tells Jack about the Off-Island World, where they all survived and everyone is happy, and says that's where he'll go when he goes into the cave.
Desmond is lowered down into the cave, where there are a few skeletons and, well, a light. When he reaches the light, the electromagnetic forces start going through him, eventually the light goes out, and a big Island-is-being-destroyed earthquake starts. Jack and Locke start fighting, and Locke starts bleeding. I'm actually rooting for Jack at this point. They have an Epic Rain Battle on a cliff that ends with Locke stabbing Jack through the gut. Then Kate comes up behind and shoots Locke in the back, and Jack kicks him off the cliff.
At this point let's go Off-Island, where Jack's neck is bleeding again (bleeding like Jack on the Island, with Locke's knifepoint at his throat). Locke comes to after the surgery and says it worked, that he can feel his legs already. Sure enough, he starts moving his feet. At this point, Locke has his flashback. Jack has one flashback, but then dismisses it.
On the Island the quaking continues and Frank continues to try to get the plane working. Jack says he's staying behind to turn the light back on and save the Island, and Ben and Hurley stay with him. Kate and Jack say their goodbyes and confess their love, and if I cared about them as a couple, I'd be crying, but I don't so I don't.
Off-Island Sawyer comes to the hospital to check on Sun. Sun and Jin are happy to see him because dammit but he and Jin were BFFs!!! Sun is being discharged, and says, "We'll see you there."
As Sawyer's trying to get a candy bar out of the vending machine, Juliet walks in. I gasp happily. They have their flashbacks and make me the happiest person on Earth!!!!!!!!! OK, I could be crying now.
Jack heads to the concert and runs into - of course - Kate. She touches him, and he has some flashbacks, but doesn't fully understand (Jack is slow), so Kate tells him to come with her.
On the Island, Jack says he's going to sacrifice himself to turn the light back on, and tells Hurley that he's to be the real Protector. YAY HURLEY! They do the drinking ritual thing and now Hurley's the Protector. Jack gets to the bottom of the cave, finds Desmond, and sends Desmond back up to the surface. Jack moves the statue thing that gets the light thing back up and running.
Ben agrees to work as Hurley's second-in-command, taking care of the Island and figuring out a way to get Desmond home.
Frank gets the plane running. Kate and Sawyer collect Claire, make their way to the plane, and Frank flies them off the Island.
Off the Island, everyone ends up gathering at the church where Jack's dad's body is being held. Ben apologizes to Locke for all he did to him, and Locke forgives him. Locke walks into the church, but Ben says he's not going inside.
Kate and Jack arrive, and she tells him to come in when he's ready to leave. LEAVE WHAT!?
On the Island, Jack is on the surface now, alive, stumbling around.
Off the Island, Jack enters the church through the back. He sees his dad's coffin, and when he touches it he gets his full flashbacks. He opens the coffin and there's nothing inside. Instead, his dad is in the room and that's when we realize that Jack is dead now. Everyone in the church is dead, in fact. They all gathered to be together in the afterlife. They all reunite happily and I lose my shit, but in a happy way. If Lost does one thing well it's those end-of-episode slow-motion montages. Christ. AND PENNY'S THERE TOO!
On the Island, Jack dies, with Vincent at his side.
This thing was epic on so many levels, and a really fitting end to the show. Loads of stuff is still a mystery, but you also just get a happy ending for everyone. And that makes me happy. I didn't need this show to end all depressing. So it seems the Island-as-Purgatory theory was semi-accurate. And I'm a blubbering mess. Jesus. Great final episode.