12 December 2010

Top Chef All-Stars

Is that a Jonas Brother? What the hell has this show come to? Goddamn. At least it was the good-looking one.

Quickfire Challenge: Create a midnight snack for kids to eat when they spend the night at the Museum of Natural History. I used to spend the night at a museum growing up - it was so fun! I couldn't do it now - I mean, I ain't sleeping on no hard floors anymore - but it was fun then.

I like Asian Dale's idea of lacing his corn cakes with Nyquil. And also Gay Dale's idea of making crack for kids - a ball of just about every chocolatey, sugary thing he could think to combine. I just realized there are 2 Dales. Good thing one's gay and one's Asian so I can tell them apart. Tiffany's Rice Krispies/S'mores thing looked amazing. I might have to try to make something similar.

There's a tie (allegedly) between Tiffany and Spike (his fresh carrot chips look the bomb), so they have to pick teams and then make it for the kids to decide.

Winner: Tiffany and her sugar bombs. Oh yeah, there are 2 of those too. The Ginger One.

Elimination Challenge: Make breakfast for the kids and their parents using whatever they've got in the kitchen. The menus are to be inspired by 2 dinosaur diets - one carnivorous, one herbivorous(?). Tiffany gets a choice and she picks carnivorous - not realizing that means just meat and animal products - zippy herbs, zippy flour. Oops.

Guests judge (besides the kids): Katie Lee No-Longer-Joel, Ms. Robohost from the first season. How dare she show her plastic face and monotone voice here again!

Winner: Team Brontosaurus. Their stuff definitely looked better - you can do a lot more with delicious fruits, veggies, and herbs than you can with just meat, eggs, and cheese.

Jennifer is a flaming bitch. She was never this bad before, was she? She was hella rude to the judges and sarcastic and bitchy. Don't get me wrong - I love it, but Jesus, girl, you suck.

Bye-bye: Jennifer. Wow. I didn't think they'd get rid of her. At least keep her around to be bitchy. She's really good. But hey, your stuff sucked this time. She's hysterical though - she walks through the door and starts ranting and screaming off-screen. It's great.

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