Exhibit A In My Divorce Proceedings

Or, How I Almost Had Dinner With The Rock.

So Mike and I are eating dinner at Lucille's tonight. A lovely dinner. When I got up to leave, I noticed that the guy behind me had big, jacked-up arms and awesome tribal tattoos. I didn't look at his face. When we got to the parking lot, I saw a huge pimped-out Escalade sitting on 26's and was all, That's a bigass car. That was when Mike decides to tell me that The Rock was in the restaurant. Indeed, Mr. Tattoo was The Rock.

I AM LIVID!!!! How can we sit through the whole meal and leave the restaurant without him telling me it was The Rock??!! It wasn't like I was going to say anything to him. I wasn't going to bother him. But I definitely would have taken note when we left. Then I'd have a great story for you. "He was sitting with so-and-so; he was eating such-and-such." Now all I can report is that he has big arms, tattoos, and a big car. Like that's an F-ing scoop. And that story would definitely beat any of Houman's million Real World sightings or The-chick-from-Scrubs-warned-me-about-parking-my-car stories.

Our marriage is a sham. If he can't tell me when we're sitting next to a celebrity, how can I ever trust him again? At least if he had banged a stripper he wouldn't be doing it in front of my face. I am deeply saddened.

Now that I know The Rock is back at home, I will commence with the stalking.....