My AIDS is Actin' Up

In honor of my illness I thought I'd share this classic commercial.

Someone Impregnated Chloe

And it wasn't Edgar. Way to score a younger man, Mary Lynn!

Mary Lynn Rajskub, who plays computer whiz Chloe O'Brian on Fox's 24, is pregnant, she tells PEOPLE.

Rajskub, 36, and her live-in boyfriend Matthew Rolph, 27, a personal trainer, are expecting their first child at the end of the summer.

"With the strike going on, I had to keep busy!" Rajskub jokes. "We are thrilled and couldn't be more excited."

Happy Birthday Cont'd

And now some Food Porn.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Some picture spam for my dear friend whose birthday I totally slept on. These are a few of your (and mine too, let's face it) favorite things....

I'm So Proud of My Little Girl

I love my budding activist/lobbyist! Set aside the fact that she has to be standing on a box to make it to the same podium used by John Kerry.... She also showed up to the big Obama/Kennedy speech and pressed Obama on the issue. Good for her!

Hayden Panettiere continues her effort to lead the fight against commercial whaling with a news conference on Tuesday in Washington D.C. As the spokeswoman for the "Save the Whales Again!" foundation, Hayden was joined by John Kerry and Nick Rahall.

My New Favorite Couple

I think Drew Barrymore and Justin Long are just so freaking cute together. She has the flightiest relationship history ever, but I think they're good together.

One of My Favorite Moms to Have Another One

Gwen Stefani is 13 weeks pregnant with her second child, reports UK newspaper The Sun.

Gwen, 38, and rocker husband Gavin Rossdale, 40, already have one son, Kingston, 1 1/2.

Project Runway

Due to my current state, I wasn't feeling Project Runway this week either. These people are boring, aren't they? They're all relatively likeable. No, I take that back. I hate Ricky, Jillian, and Victorya. But in a I-hate-them-because-they're-dull way.

The challenge was to takes jeans and... I don't know... make something different out of them. So Ricky won for his little dress, which I suppose was cute, but I can't love it because it was Ricky.
My favorite was Sweet P, she was smart and heeded Tim's advice (hi, Chris!) and stopped her hideous wedding dress, converting into the cute multi-hued dress.
Victorya's a giant C so good-bye, baby! Not only was her trench gross (the bottom was inside out and not in a cool way!), but the top was essentially a jacket that already existed. Hello, lazy!

The Wire

I just don't have it in me to write too much about last night's episode. Either because I'm still sick, because I feel like not much happened, or because I didn't fully understand what happened. It was a bit of filler. Of course, filler on The Wire is 100 times better than a good episode of, say, Grey's Anatomy, but still. Lots of stuff happened, yet nothing did. It felt like lots of things were coming into place for the rest of the season. Hey, maybe that's why the episode was called "Transitions." OK, so those writers know what they're doing after all!

McNulty was a prick to his girlfriend. His fake serial killer thing is getting pretty outlandish, with the dentures to - what? leave bite marks on the dead bodies? I guess the main thing was, R.I.P. Prop Joe. I was definitely sad to see him go. I always loved that fat F. Marlo had him killed, in I guess the nicest way possible, and he seemed to enjoy watching it happen.

Omar's back in B-more, and I couldn't be happier. It actually makes me giddy to see him walking the streets in his bulletproof vest! Omar had the Line of the Night: "I'm gonna work them. Sweet Jesus, I'm gonna work them." Do it, Omar!

Hot Messes of the Week

I pride myself on the fact that I have never watched one second of Grey's Anatomy. And this is why. It has the fugliest "hot" chicks on television.

Ellen Pompeo's hair looks good for once, but it looks like she's wearing aluminum foil. Wrinkled aluminum foil. And Sandra Oh is always an awards show disaster. She's the Asian Bjork.

I Want to Play Doctor with Dr. Drew

The only advantage to being sick: being able to catch up on Celebrity Rehab. I had heard tons of clips from the show on radio shows, but finally got to see it yesterday. Greatest show ever! Forget Jeff Conaway's effed-up, vomiting, seizure-having self. Dr. Drew is my hero.

I used to listen to Loveline all the time - it was on in the middle of the night on the way home from working at the movie theater. I loved him then. He has somehow gotten more awesome. Love the pastel shirts he always wears. And, like Jeff said, he "looks good in jeans and a tee shirt... those arms!" Who knew a drunk could be so observant. Dr. Drew is the bomb.

I feel like he really cares about the people he's trying to help and isn't exploitative (hi, Dr. Phil!). Even when he's on The Today Show or whatever he's intelligent and not preachy and self-righteous. I'm considering smoking crack just so I can meet him and he can hold me and tell me everything will be OK.

B&C Baby of the Week

I'm home sick today, laid out with a cold that feels like someone has torn open my throat. So this might be all you get today. Enjoy.

This is Tiger Woods's daughter, Sam Alexis, 7 months, and I have to say she's the cutest freaking baby ever. But does anyone else get a Daniele-from-Big-Brother vibe from his wife? That kind of ruins it for me.

The Gauntlet Returns

Now I remember why I like to watch shows on MTV: it's about the only network where you can see dudes kissing. And I love it. Ryan and Tyler wasted no time hooking up. I can't stand Tyler, but Ryan looked hot (hard to tell, I watched it on my computer this morning). Also hooking up - everyone else. Brooke and Evie. I wasn't aware of Evie being a lesbian before this point. Well, except that it's freaking obvious. And Brooke is clearly just confused and attention-seeking. Kenny and Evan sit to the side of the pool and lament the fact that they're not hooking up with anyone. If Kenny and Evan started making out it would make my year!!!

New rules (of course): the winning team picks a Gauntlet contestant from the losing team as well as a person to have immunity from the Gauntlet. Then the losing team picks the opponent. Whenever T.J. starts explaining things like rules I zone out.

It was Nehemiah v. Alex in the Gauntlet, and Alex just punked out and gave up and is gone. You know quitting upsets T.J., so he got in a nice burn: "I guess you came to Mexico for some quesadillas."

Oh yeah, and Beth is still gross.

Shameless Plug of the Week

I've joined this Webmaster program through the Star Trek movie site. Please use this link to check out the movie site. Then I'll get credit for the traffic... and... it'll make me feel better about myself. Just do it!

Currently, it just has the trailer and a link to a viral site - click on the red light that appears next to Under Construction.

Live long and prosper.

It's Just Sad

Now I'm really going to cry during Brokeback Mountain and it'll be creepy to watch The Dark Knight.

Wednesday's autopsy to determine how Heath Ledger died has been called inconclusive. Additional tests and more time are required.

"The autopsy was inconclusive," New York City Medical Examiner spokeswoman Ellen Borakove tells PEOPLE. "We have to do further testing including toxicology and tissue testing. Neither cause of death or manner of death has been concluded. We expect additional results in 10 days to two weeks."

The 28-year-old star's body was found in the bedroom of his downtown New York City apartment, with prescription sleeping medication nearby.

Ledger had pneumonia at the time of his death, PEOPLE has confirmed.

That Terminator Show Sucks

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles sucks. There I said it.

I gave it 3 episodes, and I'm ready to write it off. This week's episode was really like WTF? I don't understand the point of the student who jumped off the roof. I don't understand the point of the graffiti they kept showing. For reals, it was like it was a couple different shows pieced together, I had no idea what was going on. Let's not even discuss the Bad Terminator getting a guy to grow him skin out of a bathtub full of blood.

I'm not the only one, the ratings are now tanking and it came in third Monday night. Pretty good show! DEAD TO ME!

Wow

More details later. I'm in SHOCK! I don't even.... he's so awesome.... when was the last time a real A-lister died? O.M.G. The Dark Knight.......

Actor Heath Ledger has been found dead in a Manhattan apartment, New York police tell CNN.

I'm a Jim... and I'm Currently Bored

Which Character From The Office Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

Yeah, this is pretty damn accurate.

The Wire

This show was amazing, per usual. McNulty has truly lost his mind, falsifying evidence and reports all over the place to make it look like there's a homeless-killing serial killer on the loose, tying red ribbons around his victims' wrists. It's a good guy trying to do the right thing the wrong way and that can't end well on The Wire. Still, no one cares about this killer; if you’re from the wrong zip code, nobody cares if you die. McNulty confides in Lester and Lester of all people agrees with his tactics! And offers suggestions to feed the lie and sensationalize the killer! No Lester!

It was nice to see Michael, Dukie, and Bug actually act like the kids they are and take a day to go to Six Flags. I think Michael proved a kid can have some fun and still keep a handle on his corner.

It was funny to see Ashy Larry (a fave from Chappelle's Show) make an appearance, testifying at Senator Clay's grand jury.

Finally, Marlo, Snoop, and Chris hunted down Omar's people trying to get to Omar. Omar and his hot-ass boyfriend are living in some nice oceanside place, but news of the murder of his man blind Butchie gets to him. And just like that, Omar is gonna get sucked back into the game. Let him have his vengeance!

It Wasn't a Dream?

Last night's game was agony. God hates the Packers. I can't think of another explanation. Unless he just hates me and every team I pick. Now I have my Sundays back, and I couldn't care less about the Super Bowl.

It's a beautiful 70-degree day today and I have off work so I decided to try to cheer myself up with a walk to Starbucks. A soy sugar-free mocha and suddenly all seems right in the world. Me love you long time, Starbucks.

Ron Burgundy Was Right

Go F yourself, San Diego.

P.S.: When did Terry Bradshaw turn into the crypt keeper? Being out of the studio does him no favors!

Baloney & Cereal Alert: Code Red

Don't ever say I don't go the extra mile for my readership. Due to overwhelming requests, I tried Diet Cherry Chocolate Dr. Pepper. Or, as I will be calling it, Swill.

This is the worst soda I have tried in my life. And I have tried many. It tastes like cough medicine. My discerning palate picks up no hints of chocolate. There is a hint in the bouquet, but not on my tastebuds. It really just tastes like watered-down Diet Dr. Pepper.

Stay away. Instead try this product that I found online while searching for an image of Swill. Diet Coke with Bacon sounds good right about now, as I'm stuck trying to finish a 2-liter bottle of Swill.

Cloverfield is Wicked Cool

It just is; it's just cool. As I'm sure you know, the film is about something attacking New York City, and it's shot all in first person, with a handheld camera. That means I got motion sick once and I was constantly wanting to yell at the camera guy, "Turn around! Look back there!" I love that kind of interactive experience.

There was a little plot, but mostly a lot of running. It was very scary, the monster(s?) was freaky, and you definitely get some good looks at it (them?). I realized after the movie that there was no score. At least I don't think there was, and of course that would make sense for the style.

I stayed through the credits because I heard that there was some kind of sound at the end. Of course it didn't make sense, til someone ran it backwards. That's typical, creepy-as-hell J.J. Abrams. You can find it here if you want.boomp3.com

Staying through the credits meant I got to unexpectedly see the name of an old buddy in the credits as the Art Department Coordinator. I remember 2 things about Bobby Z.: we got into a car accident together and he never had his wallet when we all went out.

Anyway, it's definitely a must-see film. And I missed something in the very last scene that hints at the origin of the monster(s?). Does that mean I have to see it again? Nah, I'll just wait for the still to be put online. Drink a Slusho and watch Cloverfield!

I'm Impatient

I couldn't wait til 7:50 tonight. I had to go and watch the Star Trek teaser now. Oh well. It's pretty cool even though it doesn't show anything of substance. I like the historical space-exploration-related sound clips. Makes it seem real. Real awesome.

Shameless Plug of the Week

Please watch this POM Tea commercial featuring my friend's brother. It's funny and I want to help them rack up views! And POM Tea is actually really awesome.

Project Runway

I'm just so in love with Chris and Christian, and they got paired up this week! The challenge was to design an avant-garde look inspired by the model's hairstyle. Later they got a bonus assignment: design a ready-to-wear look inspired by the crazy look. The teams were paired up randomly and Chris and Christian were put together. They made the great things on the left and won. I really did like the black coat that Victorya and Jillian made though too.

I don't think Kit should have gone home before Ricky. Ricky should have gone home about 3 weeks ago. Boo.

Bad Baby Name of the Week

Daniel Baldwin and his wife, Joanne Smith-Baldwin, have welcomed a daughter, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.

Avis Ann Baldwin was born Thursday at 12:59 a.m. at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. She weighed in at 7 lbs. 10 oz.

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Avis is a car rental company, jackass.

Mulder and Scully are Back, Baby!

1000th Post!

I couldn't decide which of my three favorite things - other peoples' procreation, food, or failed relationships - should be put into my 1000th post. Let's do all of them!

HOLY CRAP! Rachel from Real World San Francisco and Sean from Real World Boston, my second-favorite reality show couple ever (Judd and Pam are first - are they still together?) are having their 5th kid. Their 5th! I think I kind of slept on the fact that they even had one. The new baby girl will join older siblings Evita Pilar, 8, Xavier Jack, 6, Lucia-Belen, 3 ½, and John-Paul, 1. And I can't say anything bad about these kids, cuz they're freaking adorable.

Two idiots are getting
not-really-divorced-because-their-wedding-wasn't-legal-but-still-it-was-only-2-weeks-ago.

Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds have called it quits just two weeks after their intimate wedding, PEOPLE has learned exclusively.
"After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further," Murphy and Edmonds tell PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. "While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

The new flavor of Twix, Java, is pretty good. It's coffee-flavored caramel and a chocolate cookie. No way does it beat the original Caramel Twix, but it's worth trying.

Once Upon a Time

About 30 years ago, two boys posed for a photo. What did they have in common? The goo-gook and an alleged love for football. What do they have in common today? The goo-gook and a love for midgets with cankles.

Fear American Idol

It has returned.

Every year I act like it's a chore to watch American Idol, like I don't really want to, but it's my obligation as an American citizen. But then every year I enjoy myself. Mind you, I'm not recommending that anyone watch it live. Hell no. This show is the reason god made DVRs. I got through a 2-hour show in 1 hour.

Our first show brings us to Philadelphia, which you know means you're only going to get the classiest of people. Things never change on this show. Randy still says "good lookin' out" (which I still don't understand), Paula is still incoherent and is serenaded by at least 2 contestants, and Simon still puts no effort into his wardrobe (just a white tee shirt this time). I still laugh out loud when Randy and Paula cover their faces because they're laughing too hard, and right in the contestant's face. I still laugh at the "tearjerker" stories. And Simon is still 100% dead-on accurate with everything he says. He said some chick looked like Willem Dafoe and goddammit he was right!!

My favorite idiot was probably the Egyptian guy who loves "Mr. The Bee Gees" and wants to meet a woman he will love "from hair to nipple." I'm rooting for Angela Martin, the cute wedding singer with the kid with the disease, and Beth Stalker, whose voice I loved. Just putting those on record in case they make it.

Finally, that Star Wars chick at the end was painful to watch because it soooo could have been me. Believe it or not, I made a right turn somewhere.

Sad News

A Baloney & Cereal favorite has died. Oh lord was I in love with Brad Renfro in The Cure and The Client, when he was all of like 10 years old. Dagger!

TMZ has learned actor Brad Renfro is dead. The 25-year-old actor was found dead at his Los Angeles home yesterday morning. The cause of death has not been determined, however, Renfro had a history of drug abuse.

Bitch is Crazy

I don't normally blog about the ongoing Britney saga because it's just ridiculous and the woman is clearly mentally ill. And I don't have enough free time.

But this picture just made me laugh. She's in church (after skipping out on her custody hearing) and I'm pretty sure she's wearing the slutty dress she wore on her wedding day. I hate this C. But the fact that she's not burning alive makes me think that I'll be fine if I set foot in a church.

Prison Broken

I had a really hard time getting into this new episode of Prison Break. Maybe because it's been like 6 years since the last episode. Maybe because this season stinks on ice. I don't know what this week's episode did, but I know what it didn't do - advance the plot.

Scofield was hotboxed to try to get him to talk. And I don't mean hotboxed like my sister taught me, I mean literally placed in a box in the middle of the yard with the Panamanian sun beating down upon him. There's a new general running the prison (remember when this prison was "lawless"???) and he wants to know about the escape attempt. Michael decides to trust him for some reason (I guess it was the hotboxing) and spills the beans on the whole thing, turning in Whistler who in turn turns in that chick (whose real name is Gretchen).

The general tortures (waterboarding yay!) Gretchen for a while til she finally gives up LJ's location. When they show up at the location, LJ isn't there anymore, and Gretchen takes out the general and his couple of military guys. This just makes no sense to me because I don't see what the general's motivation was for interrogating Gretchen. What does he care about LJ and the escape plot? I guess he was just a do-gooder. Now he's a dead do-gooder.

So in the end Michael and Whistler are put back into Sona. Like I said, no plot movement here. WTF?! Oh, and Mahone's suffering the DTs really bad, way worse than before and I didn't think it could get worse. And there was a chicken foot fight, lest we forget the Sacred Dance of the Chicken Foot. Bellick killed the dude who challenged him.

The Wire Ain't Aruba, Bitch

The feds won't continue the investigation of the rowhouse murders - purely because of political BS. So McNulty freaking takes the body of a bum who died of natural/drug causes and beats it up so that it looks like he was murdered. His plan is to make it look like there's a serial killer in Baltimore, presumably so they can get funding to continue their investigation of Marlo.

That idiot at the paper who faked that story about the crippled kid on Opening Day pisses me off. Hate him! In true Wire fashion, he'll probably win in the end.

And Avon's back! Marlo visits jail to try to get a Russian guy to get the Greeks to take out his drug rivals. And Avon's there to be the go-between. Yay Avon!

Also, I watched Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles last night. All I can say is...Eh. I don't know how you can keep a weekly show going when it seems like it's gonna be the same running-from-Terminators-and-the-FBI plot. Plus I don't understand what the point of time traveling from 1999 to 2007 was. So they can be the same age as in Terminator 2 but in present day? Whatever. I'll watch at least a couple more before I give up.

Yay for the Writers' Strike

The strike denied me the Golden Globes. At first I was bitter because, although I wasn't particularly excited by the nominations, I still enjoy an awards show. But then I saw the list of winners and realized how effing boring the show would have been. Looks like the only good winners were Javier Bardem and Johnny Depp.

Oh, and there was no way I was gonna sit through those announcements last night. That was the most painful show ever. I made it through 2 awards just so I could cringe.

Since I was denied Fresh Brangelina, I'll post this picture of them looking so cute I want to puke.

Good Luck, Max

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman welcomed a baby boy on Saturday at 10:05 p.m., PEOPLE has confirmed exclusively.

This is the first child for the 27-year-old singer and her music executive husband. "Christina and Jordan are proud to announce the birth of their son Max Liron Bratman. He is a beautiful, healthy baby boy!" a rep for the couple tells PEOPLE. "Mom is resting and doing well!"

Despite various media reports that Aguilera had her baby on Friday, Max – 6 lbs., 2 oz. and 20.5 inches – arrived late on Saturday night in L.A.

Go Pack Go!

Yeah baby! 42-20! Brett was on fire for sure. If it wasn't for those very-early-in-the-game botches, the Seahawks never would have had a touchdown!

The snow just kept coming down heavier, I felt so giddy watching it. And then the sexy beast known as Mike Carey? This was The Greatest Game of All Time!

Now I have to watch the Pats win for the 89th time (bor-ing) while listening to the droning of Phil Simms. He's second only to Bryant Gumbel on my list of Most Hated NFL Announcers. Having Jim Nantz next to him helps him out there.

The Last Great Football Weekend

Our last chance for 2 solid days of football. This Packers game is freaking perfect. Mike Carey is the ref. It's snowing and it's messy. I've got meatballs for meatball subs in the slow-cooker.

One day I'm going to see a game at Lambeau, wearing the Cheesehead and everything....

Richie Has Baby; Cuteness to be Determined

Nicole Richie and her rocker boyfriend Joel Madden are the parents of a daughter. Harlow Winter Kate Madden was born Friday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and weighed 6 lbs., 7 oz. "The beautiful healthy baby girl left the hospital with her ecstatic parents," says their rep, who confirmed the birth to PEOPLE exclusively.

What? Home already? Good Lord they waste no time these days. I kind of like the name Harlow, but it sounds a bit like harlot. Chances are that's appropriate.

I for one am betting that this is gonna be a cute kid; the other one being born right now (the Aguilera-Monkey kid) is the one in doubt.

Project Runway Goes to the Prom

The challenge was to design prom dresses for Jersey girls. Jersey girls who wanted Jersey dresses with plunging fronts and backs. I loved how the designers complained that they had to design for "kids" - who are the same age as the models they use. You can complain that they're shorter and fatter, but you can't complain about their age.

And boy did I miss the professional models. The runway is so distracting when civilian girls with hips walk down with their linebacker shoulders like they have sticks up their asses. I now appreciate starving models!

Christian got the fattest, most annoying client - a raving bitch I wanted to punch. I didn't LOVE any of the dresses. I liked Rami, Sweet P, and Victorya. Actually, I only liked the design and color of Victorya's - she killed it for me when she bedazzled it! But she still wins.

The Final Two were Christian and Kevin, which made me bitter because I think Ricky should have lost. I was freaking out because I didn't want Christian to lose just because he had that annoying lunatic model. Unfortunately, it was Kevin (who lost for his uninspired red dress with the unfinished hem), who I liked, but as long as it wasn't Christian, I was cool with it.

This Is Why I Don't Play With Dolls

My imagination is so much better. Ugh. Like, really ugh. Don't get me started on the Sylar toy - who the F is the 50 year-old-MILF with the under-bite standing next to him? Because it surely isn't my Claire Bear.

Jack Bauer and cross-eyed Scofield/Burrows Brothers were so much better.

Ugly Baby Patrol

Found another one! It's William Huckleberry (nice name loser), son of Kimberly Williams-Paisley and country music star Brad Paisley. Hey, he didn't sing my favorite song, "From the Front Porch Looking In", did he?

Reason 984 Why India Sucks

It is a little over 10 feet long bumper to bumper, can seat four passengers comfortably, has reached speeds of 65 miles per hour, and is set to transform the concept of travel for the masses in India and in poorer parts of the world.

This is the People’s Car, the world’s cheapest car at a starting price of 100,000 rupees ($2,500). The standard version comes complete with most features in any ordinary car: four doors, a four-gear manual transmission, seatbelts, locking, and a steering wheel. A small trunk allows enough room for a duffle bag.

I also heard it has an electronic fan to provide cooling. That should be sufficient in those 120 degree temperatures!

I Dislike Tom Cruise

And I hope Queen Latifah swallows him whole.

Jamie Lynn Spears Gets Edumicated

I wonder if she's gotten to "Chapter Sixteen: Reproduction" yet. Oh - that's how babies are made!

How Do I Feel About This?

After months of being in denial, I guess I have to face it. Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panettiere sure seem to be together here. Hmmmm. I like him, I like her, I don't know if I like them together. It's not the age difference. Or maybe it is. I'm ambivalent over Halo.