10 March 2011

Top Chef All-Stars

It's finale time in the Bahamas. Richard's kid is due any day and he's naming her Embry Lotus. Oh good god.

Quickfire Challenge: Compete head-to-head with the winner of their respective seasons. Who the eff is Hosea? I totally don't remember him. OK, maybe I do. But I would never have named him among the winners. I watch too much damn television. Richard, Tiffany, and Mike win their competitions.

Elimination Challenge: Cook for Bahamian "royalty" (what turns out to be the King of Junkanoo - kind of like Caribbean Mardi Gras). While in the kitchen, one of the deep fryers catches fire and puts a hold on everything. Flaming oil will do that. And now all the food they were cooking is contaminated by fire extinguishers and what not. Gross. And also that sucks - the chefs have to start over.

Carla does pork and decides to cook it differently. Why does she always insist on going against what she knows!? It's raw in the middle. Nice. Now it's gonna be twice-cooked pork. Antonia makes fried shrimp and grits and it elicits Tom's Diss of the Day: "Howard Johnson called and wants their garnish back." Meow.

Mike makes chicken with a lobster hash; Tiffany makes pork and dirty rice. Doesn't she ALWAYS make pork and dirty rice? Richard does braised lamb.

Winner: Mike. Yeah, I think it's all him and Richard in the finale. Richard's safe too so it's all 3 chicks at the bottom. Women stink.

Bye-bye: Carla. Uncooked pork will do that to you. She always screws herself.

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