17 November 2006

James Bond is an Octopussy

Casino Royale got an "A" in Entertainment Weekly. Mike wants to see it, and now I guess I will since it got a good review. But I just can't get excited for James Bond movies. 1) This James Bond stinks. It should have been Clive Owen. So I'm a little bitter about that. 2) James Bond is a pussy. In the age of Jack Bauer, James Bond is a nothing! Jack Bauer would kick his ass. Jason Bourne would kick his ass. James Bond drives fancy cars, drinks, and bangs chicks. He's not an action superstar.

UPDATE: I was only partly wrong. This Bond kicks a little more ass in terms of hand-to-hand combat and torture. I don't remember other Bonds doing that. Not that I'm a James Bond expert. There are some good fight scenes, so if you're in the mood for the James Bond Stunt Spectacular, check it out. And if you like movies where you know a guy is the villain the moment you see him because he has a scar on his face and uses an asthma inhaler. And if you like men who are perpetually sweaty and have too-blond eyebrows. Ick. 'Cuz I'm superficial like that.

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