The Terrorists Want to Ruin America

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (perhaps you know them as "Brangelina") have received death threats from al-Qaeda. Raise the security level! They must be protected!

On Thursday, Intelligence Bureau sources in New Dehli said that Brangelina have been provided with Y category security due to threats to their lives from al-Qaeda. British security experts were flown to Pune earlier this week and local police have been informed about the threat perception as the film is based on Pearl, who was assassinated by al-Qaeda militants in Pakistan after being abducted on January 23, 2002 while working on a story on Islamic militancy. Jolie plays the role of Mariane, the widow of Pearl.

Thanks for the breaking news, Mary!