31 December 2007

DAGGER!

I literally went "guh" when I saw this on my handy-dandy CBSSports.com breaking news email. I love Brian Billick, no matter what. This is a bummer. Now please, Ravens, don't make the mistake of calling Donovan McNabb - one 3-years-past-his-prime QB is enough for us!
Less than a month after he was assured he would return, Brian Billick has been fired as Ravens head coach, a team source said today.

Billick was informed of owner Steve Bisciotti's decision a day after the Ravens wrapped a dismal 5-11 season. The Ravens held their team meeting at 1:30 p.m. today and Billick was not at team headquarters.

Oh yeah - GO PACKERS!

Baloney & Cereal Oh-Seven Sillies: Movies

Best of the Year

10. The Kingdom. Maybe people thought it was a war movie and so they stayed away. But it's a great action movie. During the last act, I couldn't move a muscle. That makes it beat out Sweeney Todd for inclusion on the list. Plus I wanted to pick something you don't typically see on Best Of lists.
9. Transformers. Because it's fun, people! It doesn't get much bigger than trucks and planes transforming into battling robots. Unfortunately, the DVD is dead to me since it's not on Blu-Ray. Asses.
8. I Am Legend. I love movies that stay with me for a few days, and this one definitely did. A great portrayal of solitude, but also scary as hell. Deserves to be seen on the big screen.
7. Zodiac. I love me some David Fincher and I love me some serial killing. Dark and haunting, it really puts you back into that time.
6. 300. Amazing visuals. And if you know the graphic novel you appreciate them even more. It's like the comic was brought to life. And it's a bloody good time.
5. Grindhouse. Another bloody good time. Tragically, the split-release of the DVDs takes away from the experience you got in the theater, which is what made it so cool. The DVDs are dead to me until they are combined and I can turn my living room into a Grindhouse.
4. Juno. Funny and sweet, Ellen Page gives the best performance of the year.
3. No Country for Old Men. So well-done. Just quality, quirky Coen Brothers entertainment.
2. 3:10 to Yuma. And I allegedly don't like Westerns! The performances were amazing, and it's another movie that really stays with you.
1. Superbad. Two best friends played by two hilarious guys (my boyfriends, Michael Cera and Jonah Hill). A wacky nickname. Two insane cops. And one little bottle of spermicidal lube. An instant comedy classic. A great, LOL comedy, and ultimately a great story.

Worst of the Year

I try not to see bad movies, but once in a while I either get fooled or bored, or feel like it is my wifely duty.
3. Beowulf. Dull waste of time.
2. The Heartbreak Kid. Couldn't be any less funny.
1. Spider-Man 3. Ugh. Singing and dancing. Emo Peter Parker. Fugly Kirsten Dunst. I'm officially over these movies.

Stay Away From Her, You Hussy!


Back off my girl, LL!

Baloney & Cereal Oh-Seven Sillies: Television

Best of the Year

7. So You Think You Can Dance. Imagine this: talented contestants producing works of art. It really makes you think you CAN dance.

6. Project Runway. Ditto. And with more gays.

5. Dateline: To Catch a Predator. Chris Hansen is my hero, these low-lifes are my entertainment.

4. Pushing Daisies. Quirky, adorable, and funny as hell. The best new show of the year.

3. Human Giant. Take the three funniest men on the planet: Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer, and Aziz Ansari. Hilarity ensues. This show is coming back, right?

2. 30 Rock. A show full of inside jokes. When you get them you feel like one of the cool kids. There's not an unfunny person in the cast, and it's the most consistently LOL show on television.

1. Heroes. What did you expect? The beauty of this list is that it includes the second half of last season. So while I can admit that a couple episodes this season were rough, the show eventually redeemed itself and last year was great stuff. It's Number One because it's still the only show I obsess over and have to watch live.

Worst of the Year

3. Kid Nation. If I wanted to look at dirty kids and hear them shriek, I'd have some.

2. Bionic Woman. Talk about a downslide. It suffered from behind-the-scenes changes that made it horrifically bad after the first episode. I only hung in for three.

1. 24. Just because it fell so far. I've decided to forget last season ever happened. It was all a bad dream as far as I'm concerned. I need the writers' strike to end so I can have this show back and it can redeem itself.

30 December 2007

Baloney & Cereal Oh-Seven Sillies: Books

LOL. That's a good one, dude. Books. Like anyone reads those anymore.

Baloney & Cereal Oh-Seven Sillies: Music

I'll start the ubiquitous, requisite Look Back at 2007 with Music.

I don't download many songs, and I download even fewer complete albums, but my general awesomeness still qualifies me to make picks for the best music of 2007. Music that I blast in my car when it comes on the radio. Music that I'd put on a mixtape called "Now That's What I Call Sillies."

Album of the Year: Linkin Park, Minutes to Midnight. At first listen, I was disappointed because it is less electronic/hard than the other albums. But the emo-punk teenage boy in me came to obsess over its moodiness. Angsty as hell and I love it.
See "In Pieces": Telling me to go, but hands beg me to stay. Your lips say that you love. Your eyes say that you hate. There's truth in your lies, doubt in your faith. What you build you lay to waste.... All I've got's what you didn't take.

Runner-up: Timbaland, Shock Value. See especially, "Apologize", "The Way I Are".

Top Songs:

Fall Out Boy
- "Thnks fr the Mmrs", "This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race". Fun pop-rock. Emo forever!

Finger Eleven - "Paralyzer". Best Drums of 2007

Justin Timberlake - "What Goes Around...Comes Around". Technically released January 8 so it makes the list. Still love this song!

Rihanna featuring Jay-Z - "Umbrella" (ella ella ella, ay ay ay). I can't escape it, so I have to admit it. Plus, it samples GarageBand, which makes it even more awesome. Who else could do that?

Plain White T's - "Hey There Delilah". Because I can imagine drunks everywhere singing the chorus at a bar. Because even though I'm not drunk, I just can't resist singing "Oh it's what you do to me" out loud every time I hear it.

I Don't Need to Say Anything, Right?


Diddy’s twins D’Lila Star Combs and Jessie James Combs turned 1-year-old last week.

I mean, we know each other well enough at this point, yes? Nice necklaces, BTW. Dammit! Couldn't resist!

29 December 2007

The 8th Wonder of the World



Just to give you more of an idea of the kind of lunatics I work with, behold this work of art. So this dude drinks a lot of Red Bull. A lot of Red Bull. And he saves his cans and usually just builds a wall on his desk. But recently he got brilliant and built this homage to King Kong. It cracks me up every time I walk over there, and so I had to blog it.

28 December 2007

Sad Horns


Boo.
Sean Penn and wife Robin Wright Penn are divorcing, their rep, Mara Buxbaum, confirms to PEOPLE exclusively. The couple, who've been married 11 years, have two children together, Hopper Jack, 14, and Dylan Frances, 16.

26 December 2007

What Is It With the NFL Always Sucking Tom Brady's D?

The New England Patriots' shot at history Saturday night will be available for every household in the country with a television after months of wrangling.

The game against the New York Giants, in which the Patriots could become the first NFL team to go 16-0 in the regular season, was originally scheduled to be shown only on the NFL Network, which is available in fewer than 40 percent of the nation's homes with TVs.

But the league announced Wednesday that the NFL Network feed will be simulcast on NBC and CBS. It's a major concession by league officials, who repeatedly said they would not show the game anywhere but the NFL Network. The NFL had faced mounting pressure from politicians in recent weeks to make the game available to more viewers.

This will be the first three-network simulcast in NFL history and the first simulcast of any kind of an NFL game since the first Super Bowl in 1967, when CBS and NBC both televised the first meeting of the champions of the newly merged National Football League and American Football League.

Jesus, 3 networks for this one game? Who gives an S? Let's see... what network will I watch it on? Oh that's right - none of them. Bryant Gumbel is the Worst Football Announcer EVER. He's stupid and gets everything wrong. And now he's going to be taking up 3 of my channels Saturday.

Christmas With the Jews

As always, we did movies and sushi on Christmas. More and more people are either converting to Judaism or downright refusing to spend time with their families on Christmas, because the places were packed.

The movies I saw have this theme: They Have Absolutely Nothing in Common. I couldn't have seen 3 more different movies if I tried.
First up, National Treasure 2. I'm a big fan of the first movie. It's a guilty pleasure, a poor man's DaVinci Code. The sequel was not as good as the first (of course), but it was still an enjoyable, pop-corny movie. I think I just invented a term. A blend of popcorn and corny. I'm freaking brilliant. Moving on.
Next, Juno, which is one of the best movies of the year. It's the Jamie Lynn Spears story, but funny. And less white trash. Ellen Page, who plays Juno, is really good. Juno's such a funny kid and the other characters are well written too. It's sweetly funny, with some LOL moments.
Finally, Sweeney Todd. Another really good movie, but so different from the others - a dark musical. I'm going to go out on a limb here and boldly proclaim that Johnny Depp is a really good actor. The movie is a pretty typical Tim Burton movie, which is a good thing. As with most musicals, it takes a while to get into the fact that they're singing, but it's such a demented, fun movie.

25 December 2007

Merry Christmas, Everyone!



Our story begins in 1986, when the Osborne family in Little Rock, Arkansas set up their Christmas lights display. By 1993, the display had over three million lights. It moved to Disney-MGM Studios in 1995, and it is awesome. Behold, The Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights!

24 December 2007

Christmas With Mickey

We had a great time up in Disney World. First off, we stayed at the Hilton resort which was the best hotel I've been to up there. (We got it through Priceline for $60! This blog entry brought to you by Priceline.com, the only place to name your own price for hotel rooms.)

Saturday I went to The Magic Kingdom for the first time. I'm a bit too cynical for Disney World. I see the performers and wonder if this is what they had in mind for a career when they went to school. I envision that Cinderella was a star ballerina in New York before she hurt her knee and now she has to perform in front of the castle every hour.

We did classics like It's a Small World and The Hall of Presidents (both as corny and annoying as I thought). Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and Space Mountain were good rides. I probably liked exploring Tom Sawyer Island the best, it has caves to walk through and a barrel bridge. High-class, mature entertainment. Saturday afternoon I got a migraine, so we ate dinner at the United Kingdom in Epcot and then went back to the hotel.

After sleeping for no fewer than 10 hours, we decided to just do Disney-MGM Studios on Sunday. Good thing we did. We spent 12 hours there and got to do everything we wanted. The Tower of Terror is still the Greatest Ride of All Time, so we did that twice. New to us (we haven't been here in 10 years) were the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster and the Extreme Stunt Show.
They were both awesome. In the evening we saw the Harlem Gospel Choir perform Christmas songs, which was the best way to get in the Christmas spirit in spite of the 80-degree weather, and also a new laser/fountain/live action spectacle known as Fantasmic! ("!" included in the name). It was cool - there's a reason 10,000 fill the amphitheater 30 minutes before show time.

After eating at the 50's Prime Time Cafe (where they yell at you if you have your elbows on the table), we spent the rest of the night at The Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights display. They take the New York backlot and add millions of Christmas lights that dance to music every 15 minutes. It was incredible. And it "snowed" too! It was a great way to spend Christmas weekend. I was literally skipping around the street and singing along to the music. God am I queer.

I'll post more on that display tomorrow. Basically, I'm planning to spend every Christmas at Disney-MGM Studios. It'll be our new tradition. Anybody who wants in, let me know!

21 December 2007

Happy Existential Crisis to Me


Today is my birthday and I LOVE celebrating my birthday!

Best birthday present so far – the Transformers calendar or the call from my friend Debra who I haven’t talked to in about a year? That call is going to put a smile on my face all day!

I’m 32. I certainly don’t feel 32. 32-year-olds are serious and responsible. 32-year-olds don’t wear jeans and Chucks every day. 32-year-olds don’t choose Hooters for their lunch with friends. So there’s something wrong with the math; I can’t possibly be a day over 14.

This afternoon I'm going to Disney World til Monday. So have a great weekend, everybody!

20 December 2007

More Fun With Video Editing


So on hulu.com you can watch high-quality full-length episodes and clips, of mostly NBC and FOX shows. With a good player and limited ads. And you can edit out a section and embed or share the clip. It would be cool if you could edit a few clips together and make mash-ups. For instance, I would take episodes of Heroes and pull out all the pretty.

The best I could do is capture one of my favorite scenes from the last episode - Sylar's eyeroll. He's so bitchy! The editor doesn't allow it to be totally fine-tuned, or believe me I would have just posted the eyeroll....

Testing Out Hulu


Because I like to experiment with editing video on rival companies' websites.

Scared of Santa


These pictures are cracking me up. Every year parents force their children to sit on a creepy old guy's lap. And they pay for the photos. More can be found here.

OK, and this one is just wrong.

19 December 2007

This Makes Me Die Inside

Someone's been trolling the interwebs for videos.

I bring you yet another crappy pirated video. This time of a preview of Heroes: Volume 3 that was shown in L.A. this past weekend. They apparently have the equivalent of 2 episodes ready to go, but of course the writers' strike has halted production.

GIVE THE WRITERS WHAT THEY WANT! I can't take it anymore. I'm jonesing for a Heroes fix, but then seeing this is just making me flat-out angry. If you watch it you'll know what I mean - the part where you can hear the audience gasp. Dagger!

The Dwight Knight

This is a pretty brilliant mash-up of The Dark Knight audio and The Office video. I loves it!

While I Was Sleeping


Britney's 16-year-old sister got knocked up. The Spears Family is the Greatest Family of All Time. These parents are really awesome. You can take the WT out of Louisiana....
"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," Jamie Lynn Spears exclusively tells the new issue of OK! Magazine about her surprise pregnancy. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

He being her 19-year-old live-in boyfriend, Casey Aldridge. WTF? Who lets their 16-year-old daughter live with a dude??!!
Jamie Lynn told her mother Lynne just before Thanksgiving, the magazine reports. "She was very upset because it wasn't what she expected at all," Spears says. "A week after, she had time to cope with it and became very supportive."

Lynne Spears tells OK!: "I didn't believe it because Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious. She's never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby."

What message does the sixteen year old Spears want to send to other teens about premarital sex? "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait," she says. "But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in."

Unlike Britney, Jamie Lynn says she plans to raise the baby in her home state of Louisiana — "so it can have a normal family life."

That's a pretty good zinger there, Jamie!!! LOL!
WHY DO THEY INSIST ON PROCREATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

18 December 2007

Karen Hates Babies


Alright, good point, this one's ugly too, and stands like a dude. But at least she should have a good sense of humor. That can get you far in life.

B&C Alert: Marcia Cross's Babies Still Ugly


At least that one on the left. She looks like a potato-headed old man. Maybe she's just not photogenic. It's really unfortunate. You'd think a celebrity like Marcia Cross could afford a good-looking baby.

Congratulations McLovin


Final score of the Baloney & Cereal Super Bowl: 81 to 71. Congratulations, Mike, but mostly DAMN YOU Romo!!!

17 December 2007

In the Words of Jennifer Love Hewitt...

If you haven't clicked on the link 2 posts down for the trailer for The Dark Knight...

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR????

Check it out and once the tears have left your eyes, let me know what you think.

Jessica Simpson Must Die


I'm officially blaming her for my impending Fantasy Football Super Bowl loss. The one f-ing game that Romo donks off is the one she attends and the one I need him to do well in. I hate this C even more now.

The score is 81 to 58, and unless the Vikings D scores 85 touchdowns tonight, I'm not sure there's any way I can win. Both the teams scored pretty low, but Jessica was my downfall. I'm on Team Nick.

Now that Fantasy Football's over I can stop rooting for the Cowboys. GO PAC GO!!!!! I hope the Packers stomp the Cowboys in the playoffs.

15 December 2007

See You Sunday

You'll want to click here on Sunday. If you didn't watch it when I posted it Friday, before it was pulled off YouTube, I expect we can watch The Dark Knight trailer there.

I Am Legend


With Houman in tow, we traveled 75 minutes to West Palm Beach to see I Am Legend in Imax. The movie kicked as much ass as I thought it would. Will Smith is his usual kickass self, and it's an interesting study into the psyche of a man who has lived alone (with his dog and some mannequins) for 3 years. The rest of Earth has either fallen to a virus or turned into creatures. A scary combination of vampires and zombies. The movie was a great popcorn, big-budget flick full of suspense. I like the mysticism!

The real reason I went to the Imax theater was to see the first 6 minutes of The Dark Knight. They were a great 6 minutes. That movie is going to be spectacular. That is all.

14 December 2007

Cloverfield Widget

You can watch the first 5 minutes of the movie in this impossibly tiny screen. ENJOY!

30 Rocks My World

As if I needed more evidence that 30 Rock was the funniest show on television, they have their episode last night. Allow me to give it some context.

Are you aware of "Lemon Party"? If not, and if you're feeling adventurous, Google it. Basically, it is a picture of 3 elderly gentlemen demonstrating their love for one another. Well, last night on the show, Liz Lemon's father (named Dick) said, "Wouldn't be a Lemon party without old Dick." BRILLIANT!!

Gotta love a show that will put in a line that only 6% of the most perverted part of the population will understand. B&C salutes you, 30 Rock. (Also, if you were watching the show and got the joke, we will be best friends forever.)

13 December 2007

Help Me Out Here, People

This year's Golden Globes nominations could not be more boring. Really. I hope the Writers' Strike lasts long enough that no one crosses the picket lines to show up for this show.

The only thing I'm excited about is all the nominations for Pushing Daisies. That show kicks ass, and I'm glad it got recognition. And of course 30 Rock and Extras. But the rest of these shows I could give an F about.

The movie nominations seemed right to me.

BEST TV DRAMA
Big Love
Damages
Grey's Anatomy
House
Mad Men
The Tudors

BEST TV COMEDY OR MUSICAL
30 Rock
Californication
Entourage
Extras
Pushing Daisies

BEST ACTRESS IN A TV DRAMA
Patricia Arquette, Medium
Glenn Close, Damages
Minnie Driver, The Riches
Edie Falco, The Sopranos
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

BEST ACTOR IN A TV DRAMA
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Hugh Laurie, House
Bill Paxton, Big Love
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Jonathan Rhys Meyers, The Tudors

BEST ACTOR IN A TV COMEDY
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
David Duchovny, Californication
Ricky Gervais, Extras
Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies

BEST ACTRESS IN A TV COMEDY
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
America Ferrera, Ugly Betty
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS / TV
Rose Byrne, Damages
Rachel Griffith, Brothers & Sisters
Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy
Samantha Morton, Longford
Anna Paquin, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Jamie Pressly, My Name Is Earl

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR / TV
Ted Danson, Damages
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
Andy Serkis, Longford
William Shatner, Boston Legal
Donald Sutherland, Dirty Sexy Money

12 December 2007

B&C Dagger of the Week

Kevin McKidd's time travels appear to be over. NBC had until Tuesday to award a full-season pickup to Journeyman but... didn't, says the Hollywood Reporter, and thus has essentially dismissed the drama.

Small consolation to Journeyman fans: The show was able to complete its original 13-episode order before the WGA struck, and the remaining two will air as scheduled, an NBCer assures the trade.

*sad horns* This really was a good-ass show.

She'll Be Able To Get That Body Back, Right??


This is the Surprise Pregnancy of the Year. I never would have had Jessica Alba in the Pregnancy Pool.
Jessica Alba is pregnant with boyfriend Cash Warren's child, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer," says rep Brad Cafarelli. Alba, 26, has dated Warren, 28, since the fall of 2004 after they met on the set of The Fantastic Four, on which Warren was a director's assistant.

11 December 2007

30 Years Later


I had my annual Holiday Baking Day this past Sunday - and this time my friends Ashley and Natalie joined me. I've been making these cookie recipes for almost 30 years. And here's the photographic evidence!

10 December 2007

Baloney & Cereal Super Bowl Set


The fight for the Baloney & Cereal championship is on! McLovin (who aptly renamed his team 1stPlace/#1Seed) vs. your Commissioner, Wide Stance.

I feel pretty good about beating KMo while she was busy tending to her newborn (welcome to the B&C family, Stuart Franklin!). Meanwhile, McLovin decimated Ron Mexico 145 to 89.

It's a Battle of the Titans next week! McLovin is a formidable opponent. Looking forward to it!

08 December 2007

Yeah, Sure. OK. Whatever You Say.


Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough and his longtime girlfriend, Leigh Boniello, tied the knot on Saturday.

Jumper

This movie better be as good as I think it's going to be!

07 December 2007

Must... See... I Am Legend... in Imax

The first six minutes of The Dark Knight will appear as a preview in Imax theaters before I Am Legend, which opens December 14. Director Chris Nolan, who also helmed 2005's Batman Begins, opted to shoot part of the new film using 70mm Imax cameras. The sequence debuting on December 14 depicts a team of robbers wearing clown masks entering a bank for a planned heist when things take an unexpected turn. The first look at Heath Ledger's chilling Joker is generating quite a buzz. Production on the movie just wrapped. It's scheduled for a July 18 release.

Color Me Not Interested








Speed Racer looks horrid. Like really really horrid. Cartoony, corny. I was hoping for a hard R....

06 December 2007

Project Runway: BOO!!

Boo to Chris being kicked off. I think he was way more talented than Ricky, and I was looking forward to a crazy, over-the-top challenge he'd be perfect for. I had just picked him and Christian as my favorite guys. Boo.

The designers had to work in teams and create looks inspired by horrid, outdated 70s and 80s trends.

Mixed Metaphor of the Week: Kevin: "I'm going to have to pull a magic rabbit out of my ass." And he's the straight one.

My favorites were Sweet P

Kit

and even Chris's dress (minus the jacket). Ricky's group wasn't cohesive and I thought his dress was way worse than Chris's. He'll be gone soon enough.

I figured out that Steven reminds me of a squinty-eyed Mike Myers character, or one of the retards in The Ringer.

Why is Jack crying next episode? I have a feeling he's leaving for some reason. Boo to that too!!!

B&C Couple of the Week


Dale Levitski from Top Chef is dating Project Runway's Jack Mackenroth. OMG, too cute for words.

Because It Is My Duty To Inform You


Making sure everyone knows about Slusho. This is a fake Japanese slushee product created by J.J. Abrams (or at least his Marketing team) to promote Cloverfield. I guess it appears in the movie and it has also appeared in two Heroes episodes as a nice bit of cross-promotion. They have this amazing website that makes it look totally real, complete with a commercial. To quote late-90's Saturday Night Live: Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

As If There Was Any Doubt Jack Bauer Would Take an Ass-Kicking Mug Shot


Kiefer Sutherland began his 48-day jail sentence last night after turning himself in to Glendale city jail. He is serving his time for his second DUI, this one from September. The actor will get his own cell and have to participate in daily chores like laundry and kitchen duty and will wear the typical orange jumpsuit.

04 December 2007

Great Poster or the Greatest Poster?


This will be one of the best films in 2008!!! Can't wait!

HEART!

Why I Still Love Brian Billick

B&C Kudos of the Week


For reals. These idiots are making me proud. First they donate all the baby shower gifts they got and then they go and do something like this. If they name their kid a normal name, they may become the new Brangelina Family in my heart.
Not many kids have a foundation launched in their honor before they're born. But that will be one of the many privileges bestowed upon Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's baby, due in January.

The couple hosted a surprise baby shower Monday for 100 expectant and new moms at the Los Angeles Free Clinic in Hollywood, where they handed out more than $200,000 worth of gifts. "The looks on their faces were priceless," Richie told reporters after the shower. "Some of them didn't even believe us [when they saw the gifts]. They thought we were joking."

The Richie Madden Children's Foundation (at richiemaddenfoundation.com), Madden said, was an idea the couple had when they found out they were expecting. "We grew up in Los Angeles," he said, "and we want our child to be a part of the community, and to know that there's a responsibility to help the community."

B&C League Report: Week 13


FINAL WEEK PEOPLE!

Congratulations to this week's winners: Wide Stance, KMo, ManBearPig, McLovin, and Ron Mexico. Let's not mince words here - I decimated Peterskin. The KMo/Hot Mama Battle for the Playoffs really came down to the wire. If only the Ravens hadn't screwed up those last few minutes....if only. (Editor's note: I didn't fall asleep til 1:30 last night, I was so worked up over that game. It was a great for a while! At least we fought hard, I suppose.)

Anywho, back to the task at hand. PLAYOFF CONTENDERS: McLovin, Wide Stance, Ron Mexico, and KMo. Boys against girls!!!! I'll work with my Fantasy consultant here at work to set the playoffs, I think that's something I have to do. And I'll try to set a Triflings Playoffs as well for the bottom folks.

03 December 2007

Heroes: Fangirl Gone Wild

Ummm.... Seriously....

THAT WAS THE GREATEST EPISODE OF HEROES EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pardon me while I simultaneously cry and mourn the end of the season while flipping out over how good this show was and how good the ending was. OHMYGOD!!!

Greatest parts of this episode:

- Great Peter-and-Adam-break-in-to-Primatech scene. Lots of swords, throwing guys, and electricity.
- Super-sweet Sylar-takes-everyone-hostage scene.
- Super-HOT scene where Mohinder takes Sylar's blood. Those two should get a room for that kind of activity.
- Micah talking to machines just gets cuter and cuter.
- Nathan's back hurting after flying with Matt's fat ass on his back. LOL.
- The moment when Peter was convinced and turned against Adam and went marching in after him.
- The return of the hot hot homoerotic Petrelli Brothers.
- The fate Hiro doles out to Adam. He buries him alive in a cemetery in Japan. Adam lives forever, so he'll be down there for a while. That's really F-d up.
- This doesn't count as a greatest part, but I'll add it here. Looks like Niki got blowed up real good when she saved Monica but the building exploded.

Two Must-Rewind Moments:
1. Maya starts flipping out on Sylar, all, "You killed my brother!" He gets a look on his face like, "Not again with this C", turns around and shoots her ass. "Now look what you made me do." Goddamn Sylar and his goddamn classic lines. (Tragically, Maya was brought back to life with Claire's blood/virus cure.)
2. The final sequence of Volume 2. Nathan is at a press conference, ready to spill the beans about powers and Companies when BANG BANG. I literally screamed. Nathan was shot in the chest by an unknown assassin (Bennet?), someone who was in cahoots with Nathan's mother. If they brought back that annoying bitch Maya they had BETTER bring back Nathan!!!!

We end with Volume 3 beginning, which just makes me madder because who knows when we'll get it. It's called "Villains" which is just awesome if it truly is going to concentrate on the villains. Sylar injects himself with the blood/cure, he heals, and then he tests his powers. In The Man's words: "I'm back."

GODDAMN THIS WAS THE GREATEST SHOW!!!!

Just When I Thought It Couldn't Get Worse


I guess Blogger is just objecting to my Ugly People content today. Nice try, Blogger! I found a way around it!

The Horror!

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
Let's play "What's Worse?"

The fact that she has no lips and doesn't feel the need to make it look like she does.
The fact that her face looks like a melted Halloween mask.
The fact that her eyebrows are painted on.
That brown eyeliner under her eyes.
The young hair she's so desperately trying to hold on to.

(There's currently a problem uploading pictures to Blogger, so I wasn't able to post a big picture. Maybe we should consider that a blessing. But you can click on it for a much bigger picture if you dare.)

Yes!

If there's anyone who can reboot a franchise, it's this man.

The rumors have raged for the past few weeks but Entertainment Weekly can now confirm that Christian Bale is set to star in the Terminator reboot...Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins. No official word yet on what role Bale will play in the film, which McG is directing and Halcyon is producing for Warner Bros. One source tells us that the story line is a big departure from the originals starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Details are being kept so close to the vest that only a very few people have read the last ten pages of the script. All we know is that Bale is one valuable commodity to those folks at Warners.

Fantasy Football Report

We have two final scores. In the highest-scoring match-up, ManBearPig took down Sex Panther 108 to 101. In the Battle of the Betrothed, MacNCheese didn't have enough Valtrex to defeat Ron Mexico; he wins 83 to 80.

Wide Stance is ahead of Peterskin 89 to 46 - I have 2 players tonight, 'Skin has 1. Hot Mama is ahead of KMo by 30 points, but considering she's tapped out and KMo has Brady tonight, things aren't looking so good for anyone on Yale Ave. Finally, in the Matchup of the Mehaffeys, McLovin is ahead of Grillz 58 to 55. Grillz' QB didn't play so that was no help to her. McLovin has a WR tonight and Grillz has the Pats' D, which should do well against the Trifling Ravens.

Why I Hate Fantasy Football: In the Packers/Cowboys game, I was rooting for the Cowboys. All because I have Tony Romo. Damn you Fantasy Football!!!!

30 November 2007

Happy Holidays


I'm getting into the holiday spirit at work now, with garland and lights and peppermint white mochas and XM Traditional Holiday Hits. And then I came across this, my favorite holiday photo. Happy holidays everyone!

29 November 2007

Me No Likey

Project Runway: Menswear

At the beginning, the show helps me distinguish among all the tattooed, jacked gays by telling us one is HIV-positive. He shall now be known as Hivvie and I'm rooting for him!! He's had HIV for 17 years, which I thought was something only Magic Johnson could pull off. He won this challenge too.

The challenge was menswear. On Project Runway, Menswear = Death. They have to design for Tiki Barber, so they get male models. Male models in a room full of gays! Hilarity ensued. Finally, models I want to see in their underwear.

Carmen ("Kelis") and Sweet P (freak) were the real nightmares. Carmen did the one with the horrid brown jacket and no shirt because she couldn't get it done, and Sweet P did the one with the shirt with the busted-up collar that reminded me of the shirt Denise made for Theo on The Cosby Show. It was the same pattern! I think Sweet P should have gone, but Carmen was eliminated. It's a shame she got kicked out for menswear - she seemed really talented.

27 November 2007

Penalty of the Year

Heroes is in Full-Blown Sylar Mode

Thank god for Sylar. Really. He was in all-out, seductive eeeeeeevil mode last night and it was fabulous. Maya and her brother find out Sylar killed his mother, but that only makes him more attractive to Maya. Now they have something in common - they both "accidentally" killed people. Maya sides with Sylar and kicks her brother out of her life. Then Sylar kills his ass. The best part was when Maya comes to Sylar's room and Sylar acts like he was in the shower, they makeout, and then the camera pans down to the dead brother on the floor. LOLOLOL. This Classic Heroes Moment is brought to you by Sylar. Sylar ends up at (his true love) Mohinder's house -- with Molly. Mohinder's on his way over and he's got the virus cure with him.

The big mystery of this episode was "Where's Micah's backpack?" Lame. Leave it to the kids to get dressed up in what amounts to our first costume on this show and use their powers to get the backpack. Unfortunately Monica gets captured in the process. Eh. What do I care? Kill her.

In the end, Peter and Hiro faced off and.....to be continued. Finally a Patented Heroes Cliffhanger. Next week: a villain will rise! Two heroes will fall! And it's the last episode of the year unless they can resolve this writers' strike soon!

B&C League Report: Week 12


Next week is the last week of our regular season. I'm no statistician, but I'm pretty sure Grillz and MacNCheese are out of contention. The top spot is up for grabs, though McLovin is holding on to it now.

Congratulations to this week's winners: Wide Stance, Ron Mexico, ManBearPig, Sex Panther, and Hot Mama. That horrid, swampy game last night was either a blessing or a curse.

Note to all: If Houman ever wishes you dead, you're going to die. R.I.P. Sean Taylor. At least it wasn't a Bronco this time.

26 November 2007

I'm Hoping There's a Good Scandal Here


Mississippi Senator Trent Lott announced Monday he will leave a 35-year career in Congress in which he epitomized the Republicans' political takeover of the South after the civil rights struggles of the 1960s.

Lott said he wanted to leave on a "positive note" after winning re-election last year to a leadership post and fostering legislation for rebuilding the Gulf Coast after Hurricane Katrina.

Lott said he wants to spend more time with his family and to pursue other job opportunities, possibly teaching. He ruled out any health concerns, but he said it's time for a younger voice to represent Mississippi in the Senate.

"I don't know what the future holds for us," he said on behalf of himself and his wife, Tricia. "A lot of options, hopefully, will be available."

I mean, come on, you resign in the middle of your term with no discernible reason or future? He was screwing something, it's just a question of what gender.

Awwww


They're both so cute!!! (But Valentina's blocking the real prize.)

Fantasy Football Report

Note to self: Find out if Peyton Manning's Down's Syndrome brother plans to throw 4 pickles. If yes, play the Defense that will catch said pickles and return 3 for TDs. Jesus, this was the wrong week to play the Ravens and sit the Vikings. Jackass.

Wide Stance is leading MacNCheese by 8, with both having a Steeler playing tonight. The other close game is Hot Mama v. Peterskin in the Battle of Yale Avenue. She's currently ahead 99 to 85, but he has a QB and a Kicker playing tonight; she's tapped out.

McLovin is resting all his hopes on Tight End Heath Miller to beat Ron Mexico. The Herpetic One is currently ahead 129 to 76. So good luck Miller!

In the two final games.... ManBearPig has squashed Grillz, whose QB got her -1, while her reserve QB netted 26. The Pig wins it 102 to 73. Sex Panther has defeated KMo 86 to 68, and he still has the Steelers D tonight. Though with his luck, a miracle will occur and the D will net -19.

24 November 2007

The Mist Will Scare the Pist Out of You


Well, maybe not, but I just like the Gene-Shalit way that sounds. Whatevs. I didn't think The Mist was necessarily the scariest film ever, but it was definitely tense and really well done. There are creatures in the movie, but the scariest things really happen because of regular people. It's really a movie about what happens when a large group of people are trapped together and scared. Strong personalities draw people onto different sides, people panic, it's great dramatic stuff.

It's a very quiet movie that doesn't rely on a soundtrack to let you know when to be scared. There's barely a score at all, which makes it feel all the more real, like you are trapped with the people. The ending is awesome. Just dark and great. That's all I can say about it. It's different than the ending Stephen King wrote and totally darker. You gotta go a long way to be darker than The Man himself.

23 November 2007

Because the Suspense Is Killing You

The Bourbon-Pecan Tart was un-effing-believable. Like, one-of-the-best-things-I've-ever-made-or-eaten good. Here's a link to the recipe if you're interested.

22 November 2007

Turkey is the Reason for the Season


My favorite meal of the year! We've been cooking since 9:00 and just finished cleaning up. Today's menu:

Buttermilk-Oat Rolls
Turkey Breast
Buttermilk Mashed Potatoes
Oven Roasted Green Beans
Bread Stuffing with Caramelized Onion, Bacon, and Apples
Dessert will be Bourbon-Pecan Tart with Chocolate Drizzle, which I am eagerly anticipating.

What did you have? HAPPY THANKSGIVING!