The Challenge: Cutthroat

When I found out that TJ Lavin was in a coma, I immediately had 2 thoughts. 1. TJ hates quitters, so if he dies does that mean he'll be disappointed in himself? 2. I haven't watched the new Challenge yet. So I'm watching the first episode as a kind of vigil for TJ.

Everyone lands in the Czech Republic. Jesus Christ, Brad and Paula are still doing these things? I don't know half these people because I've been out of the Fresh Meat and Real World loops for a while, but I know that Ayiiia has too many vowels in her name. Newbies always get kicked off first anyway.

Here are the updates that stood out to me: Brad and Tori got married - oh, I'm sorry, Brad got "wifed up". Can't wait to see them do a Challenge together once they're divorced! Melinda's here - she and Danny got married but now - SHOCKER! - THEY'RE GETTING DIVORCED!!! AHAHAHAHA. Of course. Katie has decided to get herself an education and plans to be a criminal profiler. Someone's been watching a lot of CSI in her spare time. Dan is "in recovery" so he doesn't drink. A Challenge probably isn't going to be the best environment for you, buddy. If anything, it's the ultimate test of sobriety. Good luck. And Abram has written a children's book. I hope that it's not about how to deal with anger issues.

Is holding elimination challenges in "The Gulag" culturally insensitive? Is the next step having them in "The Concentration Camp"? Seems inappropriate to me.

As usual, I zone out during the challenge rules. It's some overly-complicated puzzle... and it takes place in a gas chamber. Really? Episode 1 and my concentration camp challenge is already becoming a reality. Jesus Christ.

Voting people into The Gulag is done secretly now, so that's awesome. Sure enough, I have no idea who the first 2 guys and girls voted in are. That's awesomer because now I can really zone out and not care.

Bye-bye: Derek and Emilee. I hardly (as in, I didn't at all) knew ye. Emilee's parting words are a little something like this: "You win some, you lose some, but nothing's better than getting some, and I'm going home to get some cuz there's no one here to get some with." Wow, yeah, that about sums it up.

Get better, TJ!