Prometheus

Prometheus is the bomb!!!  I've been so excited to see this since the first trailer (no, since last year's Comic-Con!) and I'm so pleased it was good.  Really a perfect horror/sci-fi movie for the summer.

See it in IMAX if you can - real IMAX, not that fake strip-mall-IMAX shit.  It meant having to see it in 3D, which I generally disdain, but it was perfectly suited to this movie.  When Ridley Scott makes a movie for IMAX 3D, see it in IMAX 3D.  With something like this, with huge alien landscapes and a couple cool planetarium-esque scenes, the 3D really immerses you in the movie, the way god intended.

Michael Fessbender OWNS this movie.  He is absolutely riveting, there's no other way to describe it.  He definitely steals the movie, which is amazing considering the lineup of actors in this thing, including Charlize Theron and Idris Elba.

I couldn't necessarily tell you what the movie was about.  Couldn't really say it's clear what happened.  But I know this - it looked cool happening.  It looked cool and was acted cool and was filmed beautifully.  Not sure what else you need.

Snow White & the Huntsman

I enjoyed Snow White & the Huntsman, and was kind of surprised I did.  I've been wanting to see it because the trailers (and Charlize Theron) made it look cool.  But the reviews weren't great, so I was scared.  Meanwhile, I liked it way more than that Men in Black nonsense.

Charlize is awesome.  I love her to death, and this kind of almost-campy evil role is great for her.  She wasn't even as campy as I thought she would be.  She ruled.  Visually, the movie is awesome.  It's gorgeous - and all looks real - and the costumes are amazing. Charlize is all decked out in feathers and scales and blackness and it's fabulous.  Chris Hemsworth is awesome.  Yes, the man is hot as hell, but I finally realized that he's a good actor.  He was great in this, and then I think of how great he was in The Avengers and how funny in Cabin in the Woods.  At the rate this summer's going, I'm not sure if it belongs to Charlize or Hemsworth.  I know who it doesn't belong to -- Liam Hemsworth.  He's fugly as shit.

Anyway, back to this -- and the main reason I was afraid of seeing this movie -- Kristen Stewart.  I actually love KStew in real life -- she's hella awkward, but I think the awkwardness is real, and not from her thinking she's better than everyone.  I think she's legit shy and finds those things that famous people have to do to be ridiculous.  I love her style too.  But her acting is... wooden? Dull? Sleep-inducing?  But she "didn't bother me" in this, which is a pretty high compliment.  She didn't distract me and maybe her style worked for the character, because I thought she quietly kicked ass.

The movie's not mind-bending or earth-shattering -- it's a fairy tale where you pretty much know what's going to happen.  But I didn't feel like I had wasted my time after seeing it, and that's saying something for the movie season thus far.

Bring on Prometheus already so I can continue the Charlize love.  Also, I got to see the trailer for The Bourne Legacy on the big screen -- and lived to tell about it.

Excuse Me While I Die

This is all my dreams coming true.  Every. Single. One.  I can't contain the fangirl glee.  I can't wait until August.  The Bourne Legacy.  Jeremy Renner.  My god.  I'm simply going to spontaneously combust!

Men In Black 3

Wanna feel really old?  The first Men In Black movie came out 15 years ago.  You're welcome.

I don't know who was clamoring for a third one after all this time, but here it is.  Once again, I went to see this movie due to marital obligations.  Expected nothing and got nothing.  Maybe the first one was a funny little novelty 15 years ago but now -- who the hell cares?  Will Smith schitck has grown tiresome.  The alien crap is always the same.  The only thing interesting about this one is Josh Brolin's spot-on Tommy Lee Jones imitation, but you can just watch that in the trailer.  Otherwise, it's pretty damn boring.

I have no idea where all the "good" reviews are coming from.  I guess it's "good" in that it's not "bloody awful?"  Mike liked Battleship better, if that gives you any indication....

Battleship

OMG this movie suuuucks.  And, like, I expected it to, but I was kind of hoping for mindless fun.  Instead it was just mindless.  And the opposite of fun.  You know how The Avengers is the perfect movie to see, where you're cheering and laughing and having a great time?  Battleship is not that.

OK so it's aliens attacking at sea and they really do incorporate the board game at one point which is kind of amusing, but otherwise? No.  It made no sense.  These aliens pretty much should have wiped us out.  Their weakness made no sense.  The way they would decide to blow up one person/ship and bypass another made less sense.

And the end?  OMG.  OK - screw it.  I'm spoiling the movie.  If you really don't want to know what happens in Battleship, go away.  It's not like it's some shocking ending - Bruce Willis isn't dead the whole time - it's just that it's so ridiculous I need to discuss it.

OK.  So.  All the ships at sea are destroyed but then they realize they have 1 more ship we can use -- a battleship that has been retired for decades and is a museum.  So.  When the ragtag group of, like, 6 survivors gets to the battleship, the museum is staffed by what appears to be 100 retired seamen.  Why there are so many, and why there are no patrons, who knows.  I mean, who cares about a battleship museum anyway?

So the old retired guys join the youngsters in fighting, showing them how to work the outdated ship, weapons, etc.  And while you might think it would make you go, "Eff yeah!  Go old guys!" instead it made me laugh.  I was laughing for several minutes during the "climactic" battle scene.  Because it read like a Funny or Die skit instead.  Like, haha, look at these old guys pretending to be action heroes.

And the old guys couldn't act.  So they must have been real veterans.  And on that same subject, there's a double-amputee in the movie who I'm also guessing has never acted a day in his life.  Look, I feel bad, you lost your legs, but you can't act.  You can find something else to do. You're making Brooklyn Decker seem good.  And yes, I believe the world is saved largely through the work of this double-amputee and his skinny physical therapist.  Oh wait - there's also a "wise-cracking" scientific guy.  But he's not funny.  None of it is.  Except unintentionally.

There were also 2-3 scenes that I'm pretty sure were actually done 2 times each.  Including a different character saying some variation of, "Take that, mother--" and then getting cut off by gunfire.  Um, no.  You either say MFer or you don't.  But you certainly don't fail at it twice.

Aw. Ful.

My Life Is Awesome

So they're doing a zombie apocalypse thing at Petco Park - The Walking Dead Escape - during Comic-Con.  Check it out.  More details to come, but I picture it like Halloween Horror Nights combined with an obstacle course.  I've got tickets for Thursday at 9 PM and I'm soooooo excited about it!!  I'm going to run from zombies!!!!

Then check out this casting news.  He'll always be Chase Edmunds to me!  Glad he's getting more good roles!

The latest addition to the cast of Shane Black‘s Iron Man 3 is James Badge Dale, who has signed on to play a villain called Savin. Despite the fact that the film starts shooting just weeks from now, Marvel has done a very good job keeping details of the plot quiet. There are rumors that Ben Kingsley is playing the Mandarin, and other rumors that the overall plot of the film involves nanotechnology and some version of the Extremis storyline from Marvel’s comic series.

source

Fringe

OK, I'm sober and it's a beautiful morning.  Bring on what is sure to be a crazy, emotional season finale of Fringe.

William Bell brags to Walter that he's building his own universe. They're on a barge and Bell has a God/Noah's Ark vibe going on.

The chick from Lost is being followed by September and calls Olivia and Peter. When they get to her house, they find a crumbled hole in the floor.  But they're called away to the hospital, where Astrid is in surgery for her gunshot wound.  Astrid's all broken up because she lost Walter.  :(

Olivia and Peter head to the warehouse and September is there, with the chick from Lost, who is holding a gun on him.  She shoots at September, but he catches the bullets.  So she uses a gun invented by Bell (it shoots faster than Observers can catch), and gets September in the chest.  Then she shoots at him again and Olivia's superpowered ass catches the bullets and flings them back at her!!!!  PWNED.  R.I.P. bitch!!!!  September wanders off to investigate the future, or whatever it is Observers do.

Peter and Olivia bring Dead Bitch back to the lab for "questioning".  And a giant needle through her brain.  Ick.  Nina brings the tech and they get to it.  It's the craziest dead-person-interrogation ever.  The chick kind of reanimates, but her eyes move all over the place and her facial muscles twitch and it's creepy as hell.  Cree.  Pee.  She tells them Bell is on a boat, and is going to collapse/rebuild the universe using some energy source.  Olivia grabs her and sends electricity through the room.  Olivia is your energy source, ladies and gentlemen.  She's Magneto or some shit, resonating an electromagnetic field.  So all that nonsense last week was really just part of the activation process, so Bell could get Olivia's mojo working to his advantage.  I'll allow it.

The team locates the barge and heads into the universe destroying/creating storm over the ocean.  The barge isn't visible to Olivia and Nina, only to Peter, which means it's already crossed over.  Olivia has the ability to cross over, so she and Peter leap off the helicopter together and on to the barge.

Peter and Olivia bust in on Walter and Bell.  Bell's all, "I can't turn it off, Olivia's doing this."  So Walter shoots Olivia through the head.  Then Bell does his little ringing-the-bell thing and disappears from the universe.  The barge is now fully back in the regular universe.

Walter slaps a grieving Peter and says he can save Olivia because of her superpowers.  He digs a hole in her head, making an exit wound and driving the bullet through her head with a long radio antenna.  Oh god.  Enough with the objects in people's heads today!  The bullet pops out and her head starts to heal.

Broyles meets with the government, gets promoted to General and gets funding to expand Fringe Division.  Broyles offers Nina the job of running the science department. Oh and guess what - Olivia's pregnant.  That's no shocker really.

Walter's Food Thing of the Week:  No, that's not lemon jello, it's urine.  Thank goodness Astrid has some licorice to share with him at the hospital.

In the end, Walter's making toasted PB&J at the lab when he's visited by September, who tells him, "They are coming."  Pretty kickass finale, with typical resolution-but-not-really.  Looking forward to our (too-short) final season!!

This Week's Code:  PURGE

TV News

So I'm too drunk to watch Fringe.  I mean, I'm OK - like, I can still catch most of my typos - but I'm too drunk to watch a show I love and want to pay attention to, especially for a season finale. So my babies will have to wait until tomorrow.

Instead I watch Grimm whilst blogging about the latest TV news because I don't seem to blog anymore.  Let's see -- Alcatraz got canceled.  Which is bullshit mostly because I love me some Sam Neill on TV.  And I love prison.  Awake got canned today.  Duh.  I gave up on that piece of crap after like 4 episodes.  A great concept that was just boring as shit and godawful.  Ringer got canceled and I only watched 2 of those before giving up.

And then we have our comedies.  The Office sucks big time, but is renewed with no problem.  Community and 30 Rock get picked up for final, 13-episode seasons.  Final seasons?  That's some BS.  They join Fringe on the boo-hoo-but-at-least-we-get-final-seasons list.  On the bright side?  Parks & Recreation got picked up for a full season.  Yesssss.

You know what'll be back in about 2 months?  Breaking Bad.  Booyah.

Fringe

OK.  This episode was weird.  It's not just me - I'm not drunk or anything this time.  It was oddly paced and confusing as hell.  Maybe because it's the first part of a two-parter?  So you don't know what the point of anything is yet?  I don't know.  I just wasn't feeling it.  And the show's been SO GOOD this season!  Whatever - I'll have faith.

Freak of the Week:  A couple dozen people in a public place start smoking from the mouth and head and then drop dead.  Everyone else in the area realizes that if they hold perfectly still, they won't be affected.  Walter discovers that nanites are responsible - transmitted through the escalator and then activated by people's movements.  Huh????

At any rate, that Australian chick from Lost is one of those infected and playing freeze tag, and the team takes her back to the lab to try to find an antidote.  When the chick gets all feverish, Olivia grabs her hand and essentially sucks the fever out of her and into herself.  Walter develops an antidote.  End of that.  Well, wasn't that easy.

In other news, Peter and Olivia are house hunting, and looking for a place with a nursery.  They're very sweet and happy -- so, you know, it's going to end badly.

David Robert Jones is responsible for unleashing the nanites, because he's responsible for everything.  But Walter thinks that William Bell is responsible for the design of the nanites.  And he's right -- Old-ass Spock is back, baby, and working with DRJ.

Nina insists that Bell died several years back, in a car "accident" after getting tired of suffering from cancer.  But Walter believes Bell visited him at the insane asylum since that date, and goes there to check the logs.

OK and then, as if enough weird, random shit weren't happening, there's this thing about a DRJ-controlled sunbeam.  I'm going to ignore this.  This was dumb.  Long story short, Peter and Olivia work to turn off the sunbeam, but then DRJ attacks Peter.  Olivia breaks out some telekinesis, controlling Peter's body and beating up DRJ.  DRJ disintegrates.  RIP DRJ.  What.
 
Walter's Food Thing of the Week: Walter makes a lemon cake in an Easy Bake Oven.  A lemon cake laced with pig brain, because lemon cake is the best incubator.  And the pig brain helps him determine that Bell's fingerprints are on the visitors' log from the hospital.  See, now that I can accept more than a giant sunbeam.  But really - WHAT!?

OK and THEN?  When Astrid and Walter are tracking Bell? Astrid ends up getting shot in the back.  What the hell.  Whuuutttttt.

This Week's Code: POWERS.

Fringe

Let's all join hands in a prayer to the FOX gods, giving thanks that they have renewed Fringe for a fifth season.  Sure, it'll be the last season and it'll only be 13 episodes long, and it saddens me to think it'll all be over around this time next year, but at least the writers get to wrap up their story.  Well, wrap it up as much as you can on Fringe.  And hopefully we'll get one final, epic Comic-Con panel too.  The Fringe panels have always been great.

So we're back in the present this week, where the Peter Bishop Doomsday Device sits in wait.  The 2 Fringe Teams meet so Walter can explain that David Robert Jones is trying to get the universes to collide, destroying them both in order to create another universe that DRJ would control.

We then see DRJ operatives all over the world looking for different coordinates.  Then, at the same time, the people's veins get all poppy and the ground beneath them cracks.  Worldwide earthquakes, in both universes.

Olivia recognizes the operatives as fellow Cortexiphan Kids, who are being used because of the psychic link to their Alternates.    Peter proposes closing the Otherworldly Bridge to cut the link, which would be permanent and result in the Other Universe degrading again.  So they try another way first, getting a "good alternate" from the Other Universe brought to the lab so they can dose him with LSD and hook him up to Walter's crazy brain machine.  Olivia taps into the psychic link and tracks the "bad alternate."  They catch him, but earthquakes still erupt in other places.

DRJ has an army of Cortexiphan Kids, and he's convinced them that they're helping the Universe.  The "bad alternate" is no help, and gives them the slip, so the Fringe Teams decide the bridge must be closed.  Time to load Pacey into the Peter Bishop Doomsday Device.  The 2 Walters have a conversation about how Walter's afraid Peter will disappear when the bridge goes away.  It's awesome to watch the 2 Walters talk -- and I love how this Walternate isn't as much of an asshole as the Other Timeline one was.

Peter gets the machine going and then the teams say their goodbyes to their doppelgangers.  Lincoln decides to stay in the Other Universe.  Awwww, Lincoln and Fauxlivia.  I approve.  But OMG I'm feeling sad - is this the end of the Other Universe for us?  I'll miss it!

The bridge closes and only our team remains, including Peter. 

This Week's Code: ALIVE.

The Avengers: The Best Night of My Life

It's going to be very difficult for me to write anything coherent about The Avengers.

First of all, I saw it because I once again won tickets from Ain't It Cool News, this time through my great talents in Photoshop.  But they weren't guaranteed seats so it was kind of like a nice refresher for Comic-Con -- Mike headed down while I had to finish something at work, then I joined him just in the nick of time.  And it was also very much like Comic-Con in that you were in an enclosed space with a bunch of people with awkward social skills who share your common interests in all things geeky.  So during the movie, there was shouting, woo-ing, high-fiving, jumping up and down, knee slapping, and all manner of nerdgasms. 

At first, I was like, OK, this movie's alright, it's kind of taking a while to get going and then BAM.  It. Got. Going.  And it was awesome.  I mean, funny, fun, and over-the-top geeky.  And everyone was awesome in it!  Like, you're watching one minute thinking, "Captain America is owning this movie," and then a minute later, "Thor is owning this movie," and then a minute later, "HOLY CRAP, THE HULK IS OWNING THIS MOVIE!!!!"  You get the picture - just awesomeness on top of awesomeness.  It's great to see the team fight -- with each other and side by side.  It's great to have Captain America leading them at one point, as he should.  And The Hulk is AWESOME in this movie - really love him more than any of the other movie versions.

And lord, I haven't even been able to process that Jeremy Renner was in the damn thing and awesome as Hawkeye.  I mean, the whole damn movie... no words.  Loved. It.  Be ready to high-five and shout your way through it.  Unless you're not a nerd.

Oh, and the 3-D didn't seem worth it.  I mean, it was worth it for me because I got the free tickets and the 10-days-in-advance screening and the free 3-D glasses, but it's not worth it for common people.

I'll definitely be seeing this thing again.

Fringe

Holy crap, the episode starts like a movie, with text telling us Observers seized control of humanity in 2015 and there was a huge uprising/resistance that barely survives.  It's 2036.  Whatever remains of the Fringe Team is there to police what's left of humanity.  The main agent chick (I'll bet money she's Olivia/Peter's kid, let's see...) has been searching for our Fringe Team, and they've just discovered Walter, all ambered up.

And holy crap all new credits!  And they're all about how people have no freedom or private thought, and also no joy.  LOVE IT!!  Most ambitious show on television.  Goddamn.

Broyles is still alive and in charge, old as shit, beholden to the Observers.  Nina's working with the future Fringe Team, wheelchair bound and rocking seriously awesome silver hair.  The future Fringe Team also has Desmond from Lost - so YAY! 

Anyway, Desmond and Agent Lady release and revive Walter.  He comes out hungry, what with it being 20 years and all.  Get him some licorice, stat!  Our Fringe Team had figured out how to get rid of the Observers, but then were encased in amber.  Walter's mind is a bit gone - he's even more adorably child-like than normal - so he's not entirely helpful.  The team has to get through the Observer-controlled city to get the piece of Walter's brain that Massive Dynamic has, so they can try to heal him.

Jesus, these Observers are real assholes.  What the hell made them like that?  Dicks.  Well-dressed dicks.

Anyway,  the new guys heal up Walter and get him working on his Observer-destroying machine.  The machine takes a building out of existence, and then Walter takes them to where his Team are ambered-up.  The Team consists of Astrid, Bell, and Peter.  Bell gets left behind off-screen, but Walter has his hand.  And it sounds like Olivia was dead in the resistance.  And, yes, Agent Lady is Henrietta (heh) Bishop.  Meanwhile, the episode just ends there.  This is the most ambitious show on television -- how do they get away with this stuff?  Cuz they're just going back to the present next week!  They're crazy!!!

This Week's Code: QUAKE

The Raid: Redemption

I've been excited to see The Raid: Redemption since I heard about it during the Toronto Film Festival.  It unexpectedly showed up this weekend in my local theater, so I made sure to go out right away to see it.

It's an Indonesian action film about an elite SWAT squad raiding a high-rise run by a crime lord.  As promised, it is nearly non-stop action, whether it be shooting, karate, or machete-wielding.  And Mike Shinoda from Linkin Park did the score, so this LP fangirl was excited about that.  It's a kickass score, continuing the new tradition of awesome electronic musicians making awesome scores for awesome movies. 

Definitely worth watching if you want a kickass action film!!

Lockout

OMG this movie.  I only saw it because Mike wanted to, and I didn't really care.  Didn't really know anything about it, to be honest.  It is everything you think a space prison movie would be.  It's pointless.  Guy Pearce is awesome generally, and I actually liked him in this too, I just couldn't get over that it was him.  I think of him as one of the "better" actors and like he was maybe making this movie as a joke.

He plays the most unbelieveably snarky, masculine, quippy guy.  But there is bicep porn for days.  Bicep porn with bonus tattoo.  So that's all I looked at, really.  (Worth it.)  Phony-ass action sequences.  And OMG the villains.  Just over-the-top, complete with scars, milky eye, and Scottish accents.  How much more cliche can you get?

Whatever. Watch it on TV maybe.  And expect to have really, really snarky quips thrown around at an unbelievable rate.  Between crappy, PG-13-rated action sequences.

Fringe

Let's watch Fringe whilst drunk, OK?  OK!  I always forget that I'm not supposed to drink on Fridays so I can watch Fringe.  Well, today I'm combining it.  Let's goooo!

But goddammit, we start with Awesome!Kickass!Lincoln's funeral.  SADDDDNESSSSS!

Fauxlivia is questioning Nina -- wants to know who David Robert Jones's mole in the Department of Defense is.   Nina ain't giving up shit, she's all "things are going to get worse."

Back to Our Universe.  Freak of the Week: Guy bitches out another guy in an office.  Guy gets pulled up to the ceiling and then crashes back to the ground, body broken.  His injuries (along with others') are consistent with those of a plane crash victim.

The plane crash happened on The Other Side, and killed their Our Universe counterparts as well.  Walter heads over to the Other Side to examine their bodies.  Lincoln's, like, fully on the Other Side now.  Good for him.  Walter spends the night at Fauxlivia's and she gets drunk reviewing Awesome!Lincoln's murder case.  He wears her robe and cooks her food to sober her up.  Awwwww I love me some Walter/Fauxlivia!!

Another car accident/random death happens in both Universes.  There's some device in the car, and that device is linked to DRJ.  

DRJ is hanging out in Broyles's house, and Broyles is pissed.  Looks like DRJ saved Broyles's son's life (or at least his eyesight?) in exchange for Broyles helping him.  Sonofabitch. Now DRJ wants Broyles to blow up the bridge that links the 2 worlds. 

With Walter's help, Fauxlivia suspects Broyles is the traitor, and she tricks Nina into confirming it.  But then Broyles turns himself in to Our Broyles!  Oh hell yes he does.  He's a good man.  Eff DRJ.  Walter heads back home.  He tells Peter and Olivia that DRJ is searching for a way to collapse both universes.  Dun dun dunnnnn.

On a Related Note:  You know who I wish was cast in Django Unchained instead of Jamie Foxx?  Lance Reddick.  Goddammit....

Walter's Line of the Week:  On seeing Peter and Olivia -- "Look - it's my son and his girlfriend."  AWWWWWWWW .  He also wanted to bring over a casserole to the Other Side in honor of Awesome!Lincoln.   He couldn't.  But he could bring over a severed hand.

This Week's Code: SIMON.  Who the eff is Simon?

Next Week:  We get more future shit?  Yes please!

Can I also say how hot Anna Torv is?  This is my favorite picture ever.  Thank you.

The Cabin in the Woods

I got to see The Cabin in the Woods on Monday night courtesy of my friends at Ain't It Cool News.  Because I'm cool like that.

This movie is impossible to review because I don't want to spoil anything.  Let's see -- it's a horror movie, but not quite, mixed with awesome, clever, comedic Joss Whedon dialogue.  It's a fun ride.  It's original and scary and funny and unlike anything you've ever seen.  And it makes you giddy after watching because it was so cool.


That's the best I can do.  As long as you're cool with horror and gore - done smartly - check it out.  It's just fun and generally awesome.

Justified

R.I.P. Trooper Tom.  Sadface.  The manhunt's on for Quarles!!  Raylan tracks down Wynn Duffy's RV for a game of Harlan Roulette.  He legit pulls the trigger too!!!  Twice!  It works too because Wynn tells him everything, including that he blew up Quarles.

Boyd is summoned by Bubba, drives up to the bridge, and is greeted by Bubba's Army.  Bubba returns his money, says they need to conclude their business, and alludes to Devil being missing.

Raylan's waiting for Bubba when he gets back, pissed that a cop is dead and he don't have shit to show for it.  Raylan draws 2 guns on him, but the Army is behind him, weapons drawn.  Bubba can't get him Quarles, but he can get him Boyd.  He knows where Devil was buried.

The new sheriff warns Boyd that he's being watched by the cops and they're looking for a body.  Boyd wants to know how Bubba could have possibly known about him shooting Devil -- someone in his measly little crew must have told.  And Arlo thinks he's talking to Helen all the time....  Damn you, Arlo.  Boyd is arrested and Ava's all upset, but staying strong.  She's already talking to Johnny about how they can solve the situation and avenge Boyd.  Johnny thinks it was Ellen Mae, so Ava goes and roughs her up.  Ava is officially a P.I.M.P.  HOSHIT!!!

Bubba cuts ties with his Number 2.  Hey, at least he just exiled him and didn't butcher him.  AND IT WAS JOHNNY THAT TOLD BUBBA ABOUT DEVIL!  You asshole!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, Quarles is at a campsite taking a family hostage and hitching a ride.  He calls Adam Arkin and wants to know how he can come home -- it's gonna cost him 500 grand.  Then Quarles calls Raylan and they meet in the woods.  "You wouldn't by any chance have an ibuprofen on you, would you?"  LOL.  Q makes Raylan drop his gun and his phone with his "cute" arm gun, takes his ass hostage, and takes him to Bubba. Face off time!  Bubba keeps his money in his "piggy bank" -- a pig strung up for butchering.  Q tells Raylan that he didn't kill Trooper Tom, and while he's distracted, Number 2 comes back and shoots Q.  Then he shoots Number 2.  Then he pulls out the arm gun, Raylan blocks it, and Bubba chops his arm off with the cleaver!!!  I screamed for a minute straight, laughed, and rewound immediately.  Q was, like, reaching for his arm and Raylan pulls it away from him.  LOL.  Raylan asks Q who killed Tom -- it was Arlo.  Oh shit.

Raylan wakes him up and arrests him.  One of the guns Q had on him matched the one that killed Gary - yeah, cuz Raylan had it and Q took it off him.  Tidy.  While being questioned for Trooper Tom, Arlo confesses to killing Devil.  Nicely played.  Arlo's half-crazy, but I think he's half-sane too, and purposely is protecting Boyd.  He's like his son now.  (Meanwhile, Arlo shot Trooper Tom because he thought he was Raylan, or at least someone else threatening his boy Boyd.)

Raylan drops by Winona's to catch her up on things, and how he "disarmed" Quarles.  Love it.    Love this whole damn thing.  Great season.  Depressed it's over.

The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Reunion

The Miz hosts the Reunion this year.  I don't know too much about wrestling, but I know enough to know that he's kind of a big deal.  Go figure.  I remember when he was Mike and he created that damn character on The Real World!

Johnny Bananas is the Ultimate Douchebag.  He uses the word gnarly.  And wears a tee shirt with his nickname on it.  Die.

As usual, Paula brings the hot-mess on the Reunion, because - shocker - her BF dumped her old ass after she was banging Ty and now she's alone.  Forever.  Spinster Paula is my favorite Paula.  She's literally hyperventilating/sobbing.  Jesus, woman.  Dead by next year?

Robin takes major offense at being called crazy.  Only literally-crazy people do that.  Mark might not actually be retiring, because the young people like him on the Twitters.  And that's it; nothing earth-shattering to see here.

Fringe

Gene the cow is wearing a giant FBI jacket.  Has she done that before?  It's hysterical.  And then the hat comes out.  OMG love it.

Lincoln Lee = Peeta Mellark.  He's all lovesick and heartbroken over Olivia changing.  The Other Universe wants to exchange information on David Robert Jones, and Lincoln is eager to go over, or at least get out of this universe for a while.  He volunteers as tribute!  (The Hunger Games references will never stop, folks.)

Fauxlivia and the Two Lincolns end up teaming up to investigate a bunch of melted-face corpses.  Lincoln is very eager to help, cuz he's liking his woman as a redhead.  He'll take whichever Olivia he can get, poor guy.  While driving to the scene, Fauxlivia asks Lincoln what his middle name is -- Tyrone.  I find this hysterical.  So does Fauxlivia, who uses it to jone on Her Lincoln, who is mortified by the name.

I love the interactions between the Two Lincolns; Our Lincoln is trying to figure out how they came out so different.  You know, with Alt!Lincoln being such a confident badass.  But they share the same history as far as they can tell.  My personal theory?  It's the thigh holster.

The perp is a kind of shapeshifter, but one that's melting people's faces, unable to hold on to the new face for long, and uses some umbilical cord looking version of the shapeshifting device.  When the team catches the dude, Broyles informs Nina, because they are evil and working together.  Nina dispatches an assassin to take the dude out, but he shoots Alt!Lincoln instead.  Nooooo!  It's awesome to watch Fauxlivia snipe the assassin's ass though.  She rules!!  R.I.P. Alt!Lincoln.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  R.I.P. Thigh holster.  They catch Nina.

Lincoln offers to stick around to help Fauxlivia.  Awwwwwwww.  It'll be easier for both of them to have each other.  AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Notable Difference Between the Universes: Our Batman = Their Mantis.

This Week's Code: DREAM.  More like a nightmare with no more Alt!Lincoln. :(

Justified

What am I going to do after Justified ends next week?  I mean, I'll have Mad Men, and Game of Thrones, and the crappy The Killing... nevermind, I guess I'll be alright.  Still, they're not Kentucky.

Last time we saw him, Quarles was tasered by Boyd, and now he's chained naked on the bed in a whorehouse, guarded by whores.  They all decide to get high, because that's a good idea....  At least they're listening to REO Speedwagon while they get high -- using a shotgun.  For real.  This show.  Love it. 

Boyd is awaiting the people from Detroit when Bubba's #2 Guy brings Dickie in to the bar.  Oh. Hell. No.  That's what Boyd says with his eyes.  Then he grabs him and throws him around, suffocating him with a plastic bag, punching him -- it's awesome.  #2 tells Boyd to stop so they can get their hands on the $3 million.  To get the money, they have to rob a bank.  Like Boyd's crew is out of The Town or something.  This won't be good.

Q escapes the high whores, because high whores aren't hard to escape when you have a length of chain available.  Wynn Duffy's panicked, because he promised Q to the Detroit Big Bad.  Boyd has the idea to blow Q up, using that explosion as a distraction for the bank job.  Ava cases the safety deposit room at the bank, while the cops are surveilling.  Boyd doesn't want Arlo and Ava doing the actual job though.  That doesn't sit well with Arlo, who is having visions of Helen.

Q goes to see Bubba, and Bubba knows everything Boyd's about to do - the plan with an explosive distraction and everything, since that's the Crowder M.O.  He tells Q to be there and hit the bank instead.  Q calls Wynn Duffy to meet him at the bank and get him in on it too.  Why do I have the feeling everything will go to shit and Wynn Duffy will be the one walking away with all the cash!?

Raylan visits Bubba and tells him Boyd is planning to rob the bank.  Then Bubba one-ups him on his knowledge, and says he heard Quarles is going to rob Boyd as soon as he comes out of the bank.  Raylan: "Christmas is coming early to law enforcement!"  Raylan is sure the money's no longer at the bank.

Boyd is suspicious and accuses #2 of setting him up.  Boyd ain't no fool, people!!  He's right; it's a setup and they're trying to get him locked up for good.  Because he's utterly crazy, Dickie gets the upper-hand when Boyd leaves the bar to find Ava, and holds a gun on #2, demanding to know where the money is.  They leave the bar together, followed by both cops and Bubba's #3.  Boyd had to leave to find Ava because she wasn't answering her phone -- Arlo held a gun on her and then locked her in a room.

So guess where the money is?  With Loretta!!!  Dickie locks #2 in the car trunk outside her house.  Raylan is waiting inside, since Bubba called him and told him where the money was.  Raylan lounging in a chair holding a gun is a thing of beauty.  Dickie ain't going back to prison, so he pulls on Raylan.  Boom.  Raylan shoots him, but he doesn't seem dead yet.  He's letting Loretta keep the money, per his deal with Bubba, he just tells her not to buy a new Lexus.

Q is getting high as shit in Wynn Duffy's RV, smoking oxy off foil, the classy way.  Bubba calls him and tells him to go to the bar and eliminate Boyd.  Wynn has Q's car rigged with explosives, but isn't setting them off yet, figuring he'd like Q to take care of Boyd first.  Just when you think all the pieces are coming together, they reassemble somewhere else!!

Q is getting even higher outside of the bar, when Boyd comes out to him.  Wynn explodes Q's car at the same time that Q shoots his sneaky arm gun at Boyd.  Boyd is at least knocked out and Q is on fire.  When the cops arrive, Q shoots Tom!!  Noooooo not Trooper Tom!!!!!!!!!  Raylan gets there, but Q is gone.

Damn, son, next week is gonna be crazy!!!!