15 March 2010


I really think Kayla needs to fake an attack of diarrhea. It's not that difficult, and it would guarantee her boyfriend wouldn't be trying to get into the bathroom. Just make some grunting noises or something. Tarin is suspicious that she's stalling them, and when he sees the NYPD moving in on their hotel, he busts into the bathroom and forces her to leave with him.

Jack warns the NYPD against barging into the hotel, but the Sergeant is a problem and doesn't listen to him. That's a mistake, Sergeant Anus! Tarin kills the cops and escapes with Kayla. They make one of those I'm A Hostage In Front Of A Foreign Flag films.

The bad guys tell President Pompadour they want "File Number 33". The President offers them Alberto 305. RIMSHOT!

The file contains all kinds of classified information on America's nuclear defenses and detection capabilities. He is NOT supposed to have that. Oh snap! Jack is, of course, perfectly willing to let Kayla hang, rather than endanger the lives of millions of Americans.

Good thing Kayla had sex with Tarin earlier - cuz it gives him an attack of conscience and he frees Kayla. Really? Now he changes his mind suddenly? Well, I suppose she was about to be killed. Tarin is shot in the escape (R.I.P., allegedly) and Kayla drives away.

Jack and Ortiz storm the building where Kayla was held, and there was a nice little simultaneous lifting of the guns that I enjoyed thoroughly. It's the little things sometimes.

Turns out Tarin isn't really dead. And Kayla's on her way in to CTU. With what is probably a bomb in her car. Sure enough, it's an EMP!!!!! I love EMPs!!! It goes off, and now we've got no drones, no phones, no anything. So much for that bright, shiny new CTU!

3:15 AM. The perfect time to check up on parolees 2000 miles from home. Parole officers don't work regular office hours! Starbuck's cover story is that she had sex with Kevin (in the Rape Van no less!) and regrets it because she's getting married. I spent their scenes yelling at the TV. Dude! She doesn't know where he is! Let up! I mean, seriously, he has no reason to be suspicious. Yet he won't leave it alone, and decides to hang out at CTU continuing to press her for information. Jesus Christ, this subplot went from bad to worse.

1 comment:

Karen said...

EM flippin' P! I called it and punched JP when it actually happened! That is a disaster..it's like pioneer days for them now. Big ol' showy CTU-NY, drones, earpieces, big powerful white lights...now darkness. Going old school!

And now of course there's no proof of Dana's tampering with the security. That parole officer needs to get a life! Move out of your mother's basement and get a girlfriend.

Consensual Sex Van, baby!