Lost

Island. Locke's crew (Sawyer, Sayid, Jin, Kate, Claire, and a handful of nobodies) rally together on the beach. Locke sends Sawyer out on a mission to go to Hydra Island to do recon of the Ajira crash site.

Near the plane, bodies are laid out together. He finds one survivor, whom I'll call Liz Lemon, because she has glasses and brown hair. She says one day she heard screaming and found everyone else dead. But Liz Lemon turns out to be a liar, and actually has 3 dudes with her with guns. They take Sawyer to a submarine - turns out they're part of Widmore's crew.

Widmore claims he didn't murder the crash survivors. Sawyer makes a deal - I'll bring Locke over here, tell him the coast is clear, then you can kill him. In exchange? Get me and my peoples out of here.

Sawyer heads back to the Island and tells Locks that Widmore's there, setting up ways to keep out the Smoke Monster. He also tells Locke that he told Widmore he was setting Locke up. That's like a triple-cross, and Sawyer sure is trusting that Locke's the one to help him here. Really, he plans to let Locke and Widmore fight it out so that he and Kate can get away in the sub while they're distracted. How is a sub any easier to pilot than a plane?

Claire wigs out and tries to kill Kate for taking Aaron. Locke handles his bitches though, and slaps Claire in the face! He also shares with Kate that he has mommy issues. Well who doesn't on this show?

Non-Island. Non-Island Sawyer is still running cons, but undercover -- as a cop! Hell yeah I like Sawyer as a cop. Not only that, but Miles is his partner. FINALLY AN INSPIRED FLASH-SIDEWAYS!!! Can I please have a spinoff show of them in a buddy comedy? PLEASE!?

Miles sets Sawyer up on a date with Not-Dead Non-Island Charlotte. They do it, because Sawyer is still the ladies' man. He quickly kicks her out of bed once she's a little too nosy about his past. Seems this Sawyer still witnessed his parents' murder-suicide, but became a cop instead of a criminal -- but still wants revenge and seeks the man responsible.

Later, when Sawyer and Miles are in the car, Kate slams into them. Sawyer chases her down.

Non-Island Sawyer also watches Little House on the Prairie at night. I'm really not sure what to make of that.