SYTYCD: Performances

Two performances each tonight. Oh yeah. More dancey, less talky, just the way I like it.

Cat's in Costume Mode tonight. She's looking très chic in her little black dress and the most adorable hairstyle yet. GD, Cat Deeley, I love you.

Guest Judge: Tyce Diorio. He's always good for a good cry or some bitchy criticism.

1a. Melissa and Ade: Disco by Doriana Sanchez. They really are the best couple left, or at least the most likable. It was high-energy and fun, and damn is Melissa flexible as all hell.

2a. Kayla and Kupono: Contemporary by Mia Michaels. It's another deep Mia Michaels piece - this time about addiction. Damn you, Mia, I love you. It was good. Crazy emotional and crazy intense and crazy good. Whoa. They were so great.

3a. Caitlin and Jason: Foxtrot by Tony Meredith. Jason looks like he's 5 when he's wearing a suit, it's ridiculous. It was fine I guess. Slow and boooring.

4a. Jeanine and Phillip: Kalinka (Russian Folk) by Some Russians. Wow, this is totally different. They were good but it felt kind of like a joke since it was quirky and folky. Mike really hates Phillip. I don't get it, but he screams at the TV when he's on. The judges were really hating on the style.

5a. Randi and Evan: Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. These two pale, white, short stubbies have to dance hip hop? Ugh. I found it cringe-worthy. These cheesy-ass whities cannot hip hop and dammit, but I didn't even like the choreography and I love Tabitha & Napoleon! Barf. I really can't stand this couple.

6a. Janette and Brandon: Argentine Tango by What I Can Only Assume Are Argentines. I hate Janette's hair so much - but luckily she had it pulled back. So I wasn't distracted by its hideousness and I could really focus on the technique. Which was freaking amazing. They're a really strong couple too. Jesus, they really hit that hard at the end. I re-wound this performance. It was pretty damn perfect.

1b. Melissa and Ade: Waltz by Some Dude. It was really beautiful and the lifts were amazing. They're a very strong, elegant couple.

2b. Kayla and Kupono: Broadway by Some Chick That's Been On Before. It was nice for them to do a light-hearted routine after that heart-rending Mia Michaels routine. It was kind of fun and nice; they have great technique. Kayla's so white she's clear though. Get some sun, sweetheart.

3b. Caitlin and Jason: Lyrical Jazz by Mandy Moore. Jason was shirtless this time and thank god for it. No problems there. I thought the choreography was beautiful and their lines were so nice and they were so flowy (yes, that's a professional dance term).

4b. Jeanine and Phillip: Jive by Tony Meredith. It was good, but felt a little stiff to me. Phillip seemed too nervous, and he totally slipped at one point. Meanwhile, the judges loved it. Once again, what do I know? Jeanine was really great though, and they mostly emphasized her.

5b. Randi and Evan: Samba by Pasha and Anya (from season 3!). They're so stumpy and awkward-looking that it's just hard for me to watch. It's like your dorky uncle performing a "sexy" dance. Just wrong. I can't get past that. And according to the judges, I didn't miss much while I was watching through my fingers.

6b. Janette and Brandon: Jazz by Wade Robson, son!!! What a freaking routine! It was this amazing, exaggerated, defined movement. And they are just fabulous. (And, again, Janette was wearing a wig.) We watched this one twice, too. They're pretty much the people to beat here.

And next week the couples change up. *sad face*