14 April 2010

24: Jack Never Gets to Enjoy the Afterglow

Jack and President Taylor mourn the death of President Pompadour, and the peace summit along with it. Way to give up easily on that one, Madam President. One of Pompadour's killers (Samir) is still alive, barely, but a bad guy disguised as a paramedic injects him with something and rolls out. Jack's all, "I'm outta here, bitches. Catch you next time, Freddie Prinze, Jr., I'm going back to my house with my unstable redhead girlfriend."

President Taylor and the Prime Minister (?) of Whatsitstan suggest that Mrs. Pompadour become President now so she can help hold the country together. Because nothing says Peace in the Middle East like a woman running a country. And now the peace summit is back on. CTU needs to provide security for the summit and, well, we all know how that has turned out so far. The White House decides Chloe is the woman to put in charge of this. Director Bubba isn't Director Bubba anymore. Chloe is Provisional Director now!! Um - yay! - but also - really!? Bubba rolls out, because that's what Directors of CTU do every damn season. They quit, die, or get fired.

Just as Chloe assumes control, Samir goes into cardiac arrest in CTU Medical. Because that's what people in CTU Medical do every damn season - die.

Now we have the Sneaky Russian Delegate at the peace summit (Novakovich) talking to the undercover paramedic, revealed as the guy who has been pulling the strings on the death of President Pompadour. The Paramedic is all, I totally recognized that redheaded chick at the crime scene, I'm gonna make sure she didn't recognize me by following her and killing her. He also adds, "I'll take out Bauer too while I'm at it." Really? Will you!?

Ethan's OK now, after spending all that time unconscious on the couch after his heartattack. Good thing he's ready to get back to work already, because President Taylor wants to discuss Novakovich's desire to pull out of the peace agreement. Seems one Mister Former President and Pardoned Criminal Charles Logan has been calling Ethan over the past hour, claiming to have some important information to share. My, how convenient.

The Paramedic follows Jack and Renee, who go to the Jack Pad. Renee takes out her ponytail, which means she's trying to be hot now. She's her usual wounded puppy self, and they start making out. Presidential assassinations turn Jack Bauer on. The Paramedic kills the innocent old man who lives across the street from Jack, and decides to watch them get it on through a sniper scope. Voyeurism turns the Paramedic on.

There's plenty of boring politics and Mrs. Pompadour and Daughter crap going on - all so that Jack can last a little longer in bed. Can't have him just lasting through a commercial break like most guys on this show. Jack Bauer isn't most guys.

CHARLES LOGAN IS BACK!!!!!! WOOOOT! And you know his executive assistant isn't going to be up to any good because he's played by that guy whose eyes are too close together from Journeyman and Dollhouse. He's always a sneaky dirtbag.

Logan says he can work behind the scenes with the Russians to get them to cooperate - but that he can't go into detail with President Taylor. Yeah, cuz he can be trusted.

Once Jack has finished up his business he gets a call from Chloe. Chloe always has good timing. She tells Renee that she thinks Samir was injected with something at the scene and that's when Renee realizes the Paramedic was familiar to her. Renee says she'll look at surveillance photos, but when she gets up from bed she's shot by the Paramedic Sniper. Dagger! Hey, at least Jack got some sex out of her first. The Sniper can't hit Jack - of course! - and Jack carries Renee's bleeding self down the stairs and into a cab to the hospital. How embarrassing for Renee - a trip to the hospital and she has no clothes on.

At the hospital, Chloe calls Jack as Renee is rushed into the ER. She shares that Renee was suspicious of the Paramedic. And then guess what -- R.I.P. Renee. Sex with Jack sure is a killer. Poor Jack. What the hell - what more can this dude go through? At least her corpse looks happy. Silent clock for the second week in a row.

No preview for me since I watched online. This show is almost over! OMG!


Karen said...

Dude, you said, "all so that Jack can last a little longer in bed. Can't have him just lasting through a commercial break like most guys on this show. Jack Bauer isn't most guys." I TOTALLY THOUGHT THAT!

1. What bothered me most out of the whole episode: when Renee took out her ponytail, she would have had an indentation in her hair! I mean, she threw that hair tie in after her shower with the Russians!
2. Dude, so if our Pres died, his wife would be qualified to succeed him? I mean, it's a different system no doubt. But that is a stretch.
3. Chloe being CTU director is the best, but totally a stretch as well
4. Convenient that Logan happened to call...too funny. But everyone loves a shady Logan.
5. Jack is superhuman. I mean, most nights after doing my stay-at-home-mom thing with two kids for 13 hours, I don't have the motivation for sex. (Too much information?) But Jack...he's been awake over 24 hours, he was electrocuted, he STILL has a cracked rib, and he just FAILED his mission. I'm am a puss and I have no excuses anymore. Dude, even Renee was basically raped hours ago and SHE can have another round.
6. I'm glad I read the spoiler before I saw the episode, otherwise I would have been very sad seeing Renee die. I'm the type of person that just wants Jack to have a happy ending (bah-dum-dum)...doesn't he deserve one? But.... NOW HE'S PISSED! Another woman bites the dust and he is gonna kick some MAJOR booty! It's gonna be AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juju said...

Um, good point about Renee being raped. Totally forgot about that. That whore got laid twice in a 24-hour period. That's why she died. Horror movie rules.