24

Ethan's still unconscious on the sofa. So what did he have exactly? The kind of heart-attack that can be treated with a light nap? Lucky him. The funny thing is that the Chief of Staff and That Sneaky Bald Guy are just going about their nefarious business while Ethan's on the couch, checking on him now and then.

President Pompadour wants to give himself up for the good of mankind, and whacks Jack over the head. MISTAKE! He locks his family, Jack, and Renee into a room and gives himself up. The bad guys stop the bomb with literally 7 seconds left.

Jack breaks out of the room, calls Chloe, and sends Renee and the Pompadour Family to the Air Force Base. His next call is to the President, to let her know That Sneaky Bald Guy is working behind her back, and that President Pompadour gave himself up.

The President catches the Chief of Staff and That Sneaky Bald Guy - hanging around Ethan's body, what else? - and questions them. She even slaps Rob across the face as if he were her son.

The lights come on in CTU and I forgot that they were out - I thought it was just really, really dark in there. It seemed normal to me.

Starbuck, now that she's evil, acts sneaky all the time. Arlo is suspicious, confronts her in the server room (the trunk line? I don't know what that is), and she almost chokes him to death with a computer cord. But he's called away and leaves before she has the chance. Dagger. She was pretty close to racking up a bigger body count than Jack Bauer.

Jack tails President Pompadour and the Bad Guys - in a Hyundai. What happened to a good old American SUV? It's a pretty speedy little car though. There's a chase in a parking garage, and then the Bad Guy drives off of the top floor. The driver looks like a goner, but President Pompadour has been transferred to another vehicle during the chase. Well either that, or he was saved by his Fabulous Hair Airbag. Hairbag.

Jack knows someone at CTU must be tipping the Bad Guys off. He has his stable of bitches - Renee and Chloe - work together to figure it out. It doesn't take them long to figure out it's Starbuck (using the Bad Guy's cell phone), but not before she shoots her way out of CTU. She kills the nice, adorable Security Guard! BITCH!

She shoots her way through the parking garage, Freddie Prinze, Jr. hot on her trail. He busts her ass, and busts it hard. HE IS PISSED! (And this is the most excited I've been so far, I think.) Nothing like betrayal and anger! WOOHOO!

Starbuck wants to see Jack Bauer. Are you sure about that, hon? You really want to meet Jack in an interrogation room? OK, fine. The interrogation room, meanwhile, is really slick. It looks like a spaceship. Starbuck gives lots of Patented Nina Myers looks to the camera, and wants immunity and money in exchange for her information. I am quite happy to finally have a Starbuck-Jack face-off. Because Starbuck rules, dammit, even if Dana Walsh doesn't. She says they better get her some of that sweet, sweet immunity fast because President Pompadour is going to lose his hair - and his head - in about 30 minutes. She gives them the Bad Guys' location.

The Russian President (I guess?) reminds our President - and the audience - that there's a peace treaty at stake here. Great - that giant bore again. The Bad Guys put the Pompadour up on the internet so they can kill him in front of an audience (but not before stalling by listing his crimes!). Good thing that list of crimes was hella long, cuz that was 24 at its best right there, with Jack and Renee sneaking into the Bad Guys' place. They bust in and kill everyone, but unfortunately President Pompadour has already been executed, and the webcast was prerecorded. I'm actually kind of sad that he's dead. Like, really sad. R.I.P. President Pompadour, you sacrificed yourself for America, looked good while doing it, and got a silent clock.

Meanwhile, I thought my Charles Logan was coming back. Next week I guess. He better!