Freak of the Week: Remember that episode from - I don't know - maybe the first season - where the guy on an airplane gets a nosebleed and then turns into a horrific porcupine monster in the bathroom? That again.
Olivia's going through a million psych evals because of her changing-identity-and-memories issues, and is forced to take time off. So she has to sit at home while Pacey gets called out on cases with the Fringe team. Better make him dinner, bitch!
This case is familiar to Peter, of course, right down to the exact flight number. Peter calls in Olivia to help since she remembers the case as well. They're all at the guy's house when another porcupine monster attacks Lincoln and I scream. Yay for a genuine scare! But now Lincoln's infected.
The case isn't a 100% match. Olivia and Peter visit that little bald guy who runs the used bookstore to get him to decipher a tattoo on the original porcupine dude. It leads them to a group who is interested in guided mutation, creating the next evolution of the species.
The second porcupine guy has wings too. And a regular, hot human chick who loves him and supports him and flies around with him. Weird. When the team catches up to them, and Lincoln shoots the porcupine guy 100 times, the chick starts attacking Lincoln, til Peter shoots her off him. Naturally, Walter finds a cure for Lincoln.
At the end, we see all kinds of hybrid creatures contained on a boat somewhere. Like goddamn Freaky Noah's Ark.
Walter's Food Thing of the Week: Peanut butter and bacon sandwiches. That actually doesn't sound awful.
This Week's Code: FU (heh) FUTURE.
30 March 2012
27 March 2012
Justified
Art wants Quarles prosecuted for his threat against Raylan, and accompanies Raylan to protect him. And Quarles wants his bribery money back from soon-to-be-ex-Sheriff Napier. So Quarles works with him to steal the money from a local drug dealer, one who is under Boyd Crowder's protection. He brutally murders the drug dealer.
Dickie is released from prison. Dickie has crazier hair than Boyd ever did, and that's saying a lot. Boyd wants Dickie dead, but not before he gets the millions. Ellen Mae tells Dickie that Bubba keeps his money buried under the church. Tim and Rachel get one of Dickie's cronies to wear a wire and transmit his conversation with Dickie about the money.
A couple guys from Detroit are looking for Quarles, and Wynn Duffy seems willing to help them out. They go to the motel room and find that kid, still chained to the toilet with a ball gag in his mouth. On the bright side, he's alive??
Quarles visits Bubba, with his cash and drug score, to see if he can lay low there for a while. But Bubba doesn't want the drugs, and tells him to bring it back when it's all cash.
Wynn calls The Big Detroit Bad - Adam Arkin!! - and offers to take Quarles's place in the business once he's killed. Adam Arkin tells him to bring Quarles to him dead or alive and he's in, with reward money to boot. Boyd gets his revenge by luring Quarles to the brothel and tasering him. He's on the phone with Wynn at the time, and Boyd hops on the line to partner with Wynn in taking Q out in exchange for the bounty.
When Dickie goes to pick up the 46 grand from Bubba's #2, Tim and Rachel are there to bust the drop and seize the money. They also go to raid the church, but the money isn't there anymore. Bubba's #2 partners up with Dickie to steal the money from Bubba, and wants to partner with Boyd too.
Lots of doomed partnerships starting here - everyone's coming together to get that money - and setup for the final 2 episodes.
Dickie is released from prison. Dickie has crazier hair than Boyd ever did, and that's saying a lot. Boyd wants Dickie dead, but not before he gets the millions. Ellen Mae tells Dickie that Bubba keeps his money buried under the church. Tim and Rachel get one of Dickie's cronies to wear a wire and transmit his conversation with Dickie about the money.
A couple guys from Detroit are looking for Quarles, and Wynn Duffy seems willing to help them out. They go to the motel room and find that kid, still chained to the toilet with a ball gag in his mouth. On the bright side, he's alive??
Quarles visits Bubba, with his cash and drug score, to see if he can lay low there for a while. But Bubba doesn't want the drugs, and tells him to bring it back when it's all cash.
Wynn calls The Big Detroit Bad - Adam Arkin!! - and offers to take Quarles's place in the business once he's killed. Adam Arkin tells him to bring Quarles to him dead or alive and he's in, with reward money to boot. Boyd gets his revenge by luring Quarles to the brothel and tasering him. He's on the phone with Wynn at the time, and Boyd hops on the line to partner with Wynn in taking Q out in exchange for the bounty.
When Dickie goes to pick up the 46 grand from Bubba's #2, Tim and Rachel are there to bust the drop and seize the money. They also go to raid the church, but the money isn't there anymore. Bubba's #2 partners up with Dickie to steal the money from Bubba, and wants to partner with Boyd too.
Lots of doomed partnerships starting here - everyone's coming together to get that money - and setup for the final 2 episodes.
Fringe
Freak of the Week: Creepy guy with burns all over his face applies what seems to be a pheromone or something that makes some strange woman kiss him. But as soon as the effects wear off and she backs away, he Saran-wraps her face, so there isn't much more kissing....
But it's even creepier -- the pheromone is some combination of pheromones and the victims' dead-husbands' mojo, which Burn Victim extracts by dehydrating the guys, extracting the DNA or mojo or whatever it is. Olivia and Lincoln raid Burn Victim's place and find the latest male victim. I love it when Olivia wears her wool hat. It means she's ready to kick some ass. The team heads to the wife's house... but it turns out their marriage wasn't all that great. And that the killer is actually at the dead guy's mistress's house!! Olivia and Lincoln arrive just as he's about to kill the mistress and save the day.
In side plot news, Olivia's freaked out by her 2 sets of memories, but also doesn't remember half of what she should, like breakfasts with Nina. Olivia wants Walter to fix her (but then by the end, decides to just let things happen and let the new memories take over). Lincoln just plain wants Olivia. Lincoln has really beautiful eyes.
Walter analyzes video of The Disappearing Observer Incident that was captured in the lab. When slowed way, way down, you see other Observers come in, take September, and September does something to Peter's eye. Now it's time to analyze Peter's eye. Walter pulls a little something out of Peter's pupil. Puke. The thing has writing on it - an address - that was designed to essentially be read by Peter's subconscious, to drive him to visit that location.
When Peter visits the address, it appears to be where Observers live, though no one's home. Just a bunch of old newspapers and a couple Observer hats. And a beeping record player that hides a suitcase containing their little observing devices. He takes a tracking device and follows its lead to the middle of the woods, where one of those bullet-shaped things comes out of the ground.
Peter takes it home and pokes around at it until it activates and shoots a beam of light up into his house. In that beam of light, September appears. The thing was a beacon to lead September back because the Observers weren't letting him play on Earth anymore. Or something. Now Peter wants September to help him back home. He tells Peter he's been home all along and that Olivia is his Olivia. Then he and the Magic Bullet disappear.
Olivia and Peter have a middle of the night, middle of the street reunion kiss. For a couple I never wanted to be together in the first place, I'm happy they're back together!!!
Walter's Food Thing of the Week: He's run out of M&Ms.
This Week's Code: QUILL.
But it's even creepier -- the pheromone is some combination of pheromones and the victims' dead-husbands' mojo, which Burn Victim extracts by dehydrating the guys, extracting the DNA or mojo or whatever it is. Olivia and Lincoln raid Burn Victim's place and find the latest male victim. I love it when Olivia wears her wool hat. It means she's ready to kick some ass. The team heads to the wife's house... but it turns out their marriage wasn't all that great. And that the killer is actually at the dead guy's mistress's house!! Olivia and Lincoln arrive just as he's about to kill the mistress and save the day.
In side plot news, Olivia's freaked out by her 2 sets of memories, but also doesn't remember half of what she should, like breakfasts with Nina. Olivia wants Walter to fix her (but then by the end, decides to just let things happen and let the new memories take over). Lincoln just plain wants Olivia. Lincoln has really beautiful eyes.
Walter analyzes video of The Disappearing Observer Incident that was captured in the lab. When slowed way, way down, you see other Observers come in, take September, and September does something to Peter's eye. Now it's time to analyze Peter's eye. Walter pulls a little something out of Peter's pupil. Puke. The thing has writing on it - an address - that was designed to essentially be read by Peter's subconscious, to drive him to visit that location.
When Peter visits the address, it appears to be where Observers live, though no one's home. Just a bunch of old newspapers and a couple Observer hats. And a beeping record player that hides a suitcase containing their little observing devices. He takes a tracking device and follows its lead to the middle of the woods, where one of those bullet-shaped things comes out of the ground.
Peter takes it home and pokes around at it until it activates and shoots a beam of light up into his house. In that beam of light, September appears. The thing was a beacon to lead September back because the Observers weren't letting him play on Earth anymore. Or something. Now Peter wants September to help him back home. He tells Peter he's been home all along and that Olivia is his Olivia. Then he and the Magic Bullet disappear.
Olivia and Peter have a middle of the night, middle of the street reunion kiss. For a couple I never wanted to be together in the first place, I'm happy they're back together!!!
Walter's Food Thing of the Week: He's run out of M&Ms.
This Week's Code: QUILL.
22 March 2012
Project Runway All Stars: Finale Part II
Come on, Mondo! Let's do this!
Austin's having a fashion orgasm. I don't want to watch Austin have a fashion orgasm.
There's an awful fake, half-hearted red carpet and pathetic crowd of people. This ain't Fashion Week, honey.
Austin calls his collection "Austin Scarlett" (natch). It's made for a vampire from the 18th century who now resides in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and borrows clothes from her Hasidic dandy friends. OK..... It looks every bit the way he meant it to, but I don't consider that a good thing. Meanwhile, he's fashion orgasming again. Gross.
Mondo of course presents "Therapy" and it's wonderful. I love the models' hair.
Michael bring us "Serengeti." It's awesome. A bit too literal for me, with all of the animal prints, but I'll allow it.
Austin's was just a bunch of melodramatic crap. I'd be fine with Michael winning, but we know Mondo is my first love. There is a ton of dragging things out; a TON.
Michael comes in third, which is crap.
Winner: Mondo. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Austin, always the bridesmaid but never the bride. Take your homeless mother to Paris with you.
Austin's having a fashion orgasm. I don't want to watch Austin have a fashion orgasm.
There's an awful fake, half-hearted red carpet and pathetic crowd of people. This ain't Fashion Week, honey.
Austin calls his collection "Austin Scarlett" (natch). It's made for a vampire from the 18th century who now resides in Williamsburg, Brooklyn and borrows clothes from her Hasidic dandy friends. OK..... It looks every bit the way he meant it to, but I don't consider that a good thing. Meanwhile, he's fashion orgasming again. Gross.
Mondo of course presents "Therapy" and it's wonderful. I love the models' hair.
Michael bring us "Serengeti." It's awesome. A bit too literal for me, with all of the animal prints, but I'll allow it.
Austin's was just a bunch of melodramatic crap. I'd be fine with Michael winning, but we know Mondo is my first love. There is a ton of dragging things out; a TON.
Michael comes in third, which is crap.
Winner: Mondo. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh Austin, always the bridesmaid but never the bride. Take your homeless mother to Paris with you.
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes: Finale Part I
The Dome: Mark and Robin v. Camila and Johnny, in that brutal pull-the-stick-away-from-the-other-person challenge. Camila kicks Robin's ass and Johnny breaks the old guy down.
Bye-bye: Mark and Robin. Go raise your son, sweetie. Mark of course claims this is his retirement, but I don't buy it.
Time to travel to ICELAND!! That sounds like a goddamn nightmare, but these idiots are excited. I hope their dicks freeze off. Because it's -10 degrees. TJ tells them to get some rest. So of course they go out and do some shots.
The final challenge involves 7 different checkpoints. And they HAVE to finish; you can't quit and settle for third. Sounds like a TJ Rule.
First up is dog-sledding and then they have to jump into an icy river. The best time at those events gets the best sleeping accommodations. They're all sleeping on the glacier tonight. I like the whole ranking of accommodations. Nice.
CT and Diem are in 1st, so they sleep in a tent with an air mattress, fur blankets, and heating lamps. Johnny and Camila are in 2nd, and get a little heater. Emily and Ty are last, so they sleep on 2 yoga mats. Honestly, it would have been better if it had been, like, a hotel room v. a cabin v. a tent. But I guess there aren't a lot of hotels on the middle of glaciers.
To be continued!!!
20 March 2012
Justified
The sheriff's deputies try to plant drugs in Shelby's car, but Shelby catches them. Boyd wants to retaliate, so he gets info on the Sheriff's sister from Bubba. He also gets Bubba on his side in the election... though I think Bubba is on all sides and no sides at all. Boyd pays a visit to the Sheriff's sister; I'm scared of Boyd again. But New Boyd just offers her a job.
Boyd and Ava offer free booze and blow jobs for votes. Democracy in Harlan rules!! Unfortunately, Sheriff Napier wins. Dagger. But then the Clerk of the Court has to overturn the results -- Napier is ineligible for office because his sister works for the Clerk now. Boyd is there to rub it in Quarles's face, and it's beautiful.
A male hustler with a gun comes to see Quarles in Wynn Duffy's RV, asking about his friend, the missing male hustler. Quarles tells the kid that he was pimped-out by his heroin addict father until he finally killed him at age 14. Insanity. Wynn Duffy is horrified, which is always amusing. He knows he's in too deep.
Dickie is scheduled to be released and Raylan has to make a victim statement to the court, and is apparently nervous about public speaking, so he's coached by the hot bartender. Quarles pops by the bar and says one day he'll kill Raylan. Raylan fires his gun, kicks everyone out of the bar, and says, "Why wait?" HE CHALLENGES HIM TO A GODDAMN DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the bartender pulls a gun and Quarles gives up and leaves. And then Raylan bangs the bartender, because what else would he do? I love this bartender. She's awesome.
Raylan just ends up telling the judge to release Dickie so he can hunt him down. Because he enjoys chasing fugitives. And he wants Dickie to lead them to the Bennett money.
Psycho Quarles is in a hotel room, stripping down, giving himself a crazy, inspirational pep talk, and snorting drugs and drinking. And then he walks into the bathroom naked... where the male hustler who used to have a gun is chained to the toilet. Oh lord help us, Quarles is freaking NUTS and I love it!
Boyd and Ava offer free booze and blow jobs for votes. Democracy in Harlan rules!! Unfortunately, Sheriff Napier wins. Dagger. But then the Clerk of the Court has to overturn the results -- Napier is ineligible for office because his sister works for the Clerk now. Boyd is there to rub it in Quarles's face, and it's beautiful.
A male hustler with a gun comes to see Quarles in Wynn Duffy's RV, asking about his friend, the missing male hustler. Quarles tells the kid that he was pimped-out by his heroin addict father until he finally killed him at age 14. Insanity. Wynn Duffy is horrified, which is always amusing. He knows he's in too deep.
Dickie is scheduled to be released and Raylan has to make a victim statement to the court, and is apparently nervous about public speaking, so he's coached by the hot bartender. Quarles pops by the bar and says one day he'll kill Raylan. Raylan fires his gun, kicks everyone out of the bar, and says, "Why wait?" HE CHALLENGES HIM TO A GODDAMN DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the bartender pulls a gun and Quarles gives up and leaves. And then Raylan bangs the bartender, because what else would he do? I love this bartender. She's awesome.
Raylan just ends up telling the judge to release Dickie so he can hunt him down. Because he enjoys chasing fugitives. And he wants Dickie to lead them to the Bennett money.
Psycho Quarles is in a hotel room, stripping down, giving himself a crazy, inspirational pep talk, and snorting drugs and drinking. And then he walks into the bathroom naked... where the male hustler who used to have a gun is chained to the toilet. Oh lord help us, Quarles is freaking NUTS and I love it!
18 March 2012
The Walking Dead
I don't love The Walking Dead. I don't even enjoy it half the time, and it's not as good as it could or should be. But I keep watching. Why? Because I'm Team Zombie, and there's nothing like it on TV.
OMG these people and their emotions and their moral dilemmas and their talking. Let's not even mention how much the women just stand around talking about their periods. Or how many times everyone yells, "Carl!" in a Southern accent. Or how they spent half a damn season looking for a dumb little girl who was clearly not gonna come back. Even in a world without zombies, you can't wander into the woods and expect to live.
But yes, I watch for the zombies. And because they've had some cool gore effects and a couple genuine surprises (Dale's death... thank god that annoying old man is gone). You're guaranteed an awesome 5-7 minutes a week. I was also Team Shane because he became genuinely crazy and dangerous. I love crazy. But then last week, Rick killed Shane, he caught the zombie virus (which is apparently simply airborne), and then Carl's dumb ass killed Shane again. R.I.P. Shane. What will I do now? Oh that's right -- I have Daryl. OMG I love Daryl so much. I used to love the Asian guy, but he's been blah and pointless this season. Daryl and Andrea - that's really all I got now. Because I'm sure as hell not rooting for Lori's dumb ass. Or Carl's. CARRRRRLLLLL!
The last few minutes of last week were epic - epic action, epic music, epic visuals. I wish the show was that good for the other 36 minutes. I also wish my cable company carried AMC in HD; it will seriously be the death of me. I can't keep watching TV like a poor person. But anyway -- on to the season finale....
We open in the city. I miss the city. I hate being stuck on that farm. It's worth noting that there was a helicopter in the sky. Other people are alive! Yay! A massive herd of zombies are making their way from the city through the fields to the farm, like some sort of goddamn pilgrimage. Rick and Carl make it to the barn while everyone else sets up on the front porch or drives around in the vehicles, shooting whatever they can. Rick takes out a bunch of them by luring them inside and lighting the barn on fire.
Lori's freaking out because she can't find Carl. Yeah, idiot - you never keep an eye on him. Now shut the eff up and shoot some goddamn zombies!!!! The zombies make off with a couple of the random members of the farm family. It's total chaos and a freaking invasion and no one knows who's alive and who's dead and people still think Shane is alive and with Rick and I LOVE IT! Until they leave Andrea behind. Then I'm screaming at the TV. Seriously, everyone drove off in their separate vehicles... and left her behind. Die, people. Die.
Everyone reunites on the highway. Except, you know, ANDREA. She's running through the woods, killing zombies. Yeah, she is!! Go Andrea!!!
Rick tells everyone that they're all infected with the zombie virus. That's what the dude told him at the CDC last year. OK now I have a real problem -- why wouldn't Rick tell people that right away? It's kind of important to know that when someone drops dead they're going to be zombified no matter what. The kind of detail you want to know when living in close quarters. I would've been happier if they had said you could catch it through scratches. And now this means Shane wasn't turning recently, he was just crazy and murderous? Eh, I don't buy that either. I'll stick with my theory.
Rick tells everyone the whole saga of Zombie!Shane, and now Lori wants no part of him. Jesus, woman. Make up your stupid mind. Rick also declares that it's not a democracy anymore; so I guess he's the King now.
Andrea's still on the run, killing more zombies, out of ammo, but stabbing them in the face and what not. And just when she's about to get it, she's saved. A hooded figure (did I see boobs on this figure?) slices off the zombie's head. This hooded figure is also walking 2 arm-less zombies on chains.
It was a killer finale with a nice setup of what's to come. I wish this show lived up to its promise. I'll hope for the best!
OMG these people and their emotions and their moral dilemmas and their talking. Let's not even mention how much the women just stand around talking about their periods. Or how many times everyone yells, "Carl!" in a Southern accent. Or how they spent half a damn season looking for a dumb little girl who was clearly not gonna come back. Even in a world without zombies, you can't wander into the woods and expect to live.
But yes, I watch for the zombies. And because they've had some cool gore effects and a couple genuine surprises (Dale's death... thank god that annoying old man is gone). You're guaranteed an awesome 5-7 minutes a week. I was also Team Shane because he became genuinely crazy and dangerous. I love crazy. But then last week, Rick killed Shane, he caught the zombie virus (which is apparently simply airborne), and then Carl's dumb ass killed Shane again. R.I.P. Shane. What will I do now? Oh that's right -- I have Daryl. OMG I love Daryl so much. I used to love the Asian guy, but he's been blah and pointless this season. Daryl and Andrea - that's really all I got now. Because I'm sure as hell not rooting for Lori's dumb ass. Or Carl's. CARRRRRLLLLL!
The last few minutes of last week were epic - epic action, epic music, epic visuals. I wish the show was that good for the other 36 minutes. I also wish my cable company carried AMC in HD; it will seriously be the death of me. I can't keep watching TV like a poor person. But anyway -- on to the season finale....
We open in the city. I miss the city. I hate being stuck on that farm. It's worth noting that there was a helicopter in the sky. Other people are alive! Yay! A massive herd of zombies are making their way from the city through the fields to the farm, like some sort of goddamn pilgrimage. Rick and Carl make it to the barn while everyone else sets up on the front porch or drives around in the vehicles, shooting whatever they can. Rick takes out a bunch of them by luring them inside and lighting the barn on fire.
Lori's freaking out because she can't find Carl. Yeah, idiot - you never keep an eye on him. Now shut the eff up and shoot some goddamn zombies!!!! The zombies make off with a couple of the random members of the farm family. It's total chaos and a freaking invasion and no one knows who's alive and who's dead and people still think Shane is alive and with Rick and I LOVE IT! Until they leave Andrea behind. Then I'm screaming at the TV. Seriously, everyone drove off in their separate vehicles... and left her behind. Die, people. Die.
Everyone reunites on the highway. Except, you know, ANDREA. She's running through the woods, killing zombies. Yeah, she is!! Go Andrea!!!
Rick tells everyone that they're all infected with the zombie virus. That's what the dude told him at the CDC last year. OK now I have a real problem -- why wouldn't Rick tell people that right away? It's kind of important to know that when someone drops dead they're going to be zombified no matter what. The kind of detail you want to know when living in close quarters. I would've been happier if they had said you could catch it through scratches. And now this means Shane wasn't turning recently, he was just crazy and murderous? Eh, I don't buy that either. I'll stick with my theory.
Rick tells everyone the whole saga of Zombie!Shane, and now Lori wants no part of him. Jesus, woman. Make up your stupid mind. Rick also declares that it's not a democracy anymore; so I guess he's the King now.
Andrea's still on the run, killing more zombies, out of ammo, but stabbing them in the face and what not. And just when she's about to get it, she's saved. A hooded figure (did I see boobs on this figure?) slices off the zombie's head. This hooded figure is also walking 2 arm-less zombies on chains.
It was a killer finale with a nice setup of what's to come. I wish this show lived up to its promise. I'll hope for the best!
21 Jump Street
21 Jump Street is a great, R-rated comedy, like Superbad and The Hangover. Plus there's the nostalgia element, and Ice Cube as the typical angry, black captain. And then you know what? It has heart too. Like, I thought for sure I'd never want to see Jonah Hill without Michael Cera, but if they can't be together, then Jonah and Channing is good enough for me! They're adorable little BFFs.
17 March 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Finale Part One, bitches!
Final Challenge: Design a collection of 5 looks in 4 days. Easy! But first, a giant ad for Marie Claire magazine. Snoooooze.
Austin says he's doing something that's like a female rock star mixed with a Hasidic gentleman. What the actual eff. Mondo's having one of his emo times, where he's not feeling any of his fabrics and doesn't know what to do. Oh poor, sad, unmotivated Mondo. He literally spends a day on the couch. But he usually pulls it out in the end. So he turns his mental illness into a collection theme -- therapy. Including some awesome homemade Rorschach-test fabric.
The designers have to make a 6th look using scrap fabric from their previous designs, and ousted designers are brought in to help for 24 hours. Mondo chooses Mila, Austin chooses Anthony, and Michael picks April. Anthony cracks his ass up over Austin's description of his collection. Love Anthony's honesty and love these two together.
It's a blue balls kind of ending, as we must wait til next week for the runway show.
Final Challenge: Design a collection of 5 looks in 4 days. Easy! But first, a giant ad for Marie Claire magazine. Snoooooze.
Austin says he's doing something that's like a female rock star mixed with a Hasidic gentleman. What the actual eff. Mondo's having one of his emo times, where he's not feeling any of his fabrics and doesn't know what to do. Oh poor, sad, unmotivated Mondo. He literally spends a day on the couch. But he usually pulls it out in the end. So he turns his mental illness into a collection theme -- therapy. Including some awesome homemade Rorschach-test fabric.
The designers have to make a 6th look using scrap fabric from their previous designs, and ousted designers are brought in to help for 24 hours. Mondo chooses Mila, Austin chooses Anthony, and Michael picks April. Anthony cracks his ass up over Austin's description of his collection. Love Anthony's honesty and love these two together.
It's a blue balls kind of ending, as we must wait til next week for the runway show.
15 March 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
When we last left these idiots, Ty was semi-offended by Emily's blackface and we awaited who would be going into The Dome with them. Paula and Dunbar are sent in. Jesus, even TJ tells CT and Diem that it was a stupid move. Shoulda broken up with Johnny/Mark alliance instead of picking on Paula and Dunbar. Whatever, dude, they don't overthink this stuff. Except that they do.
Bye-bye: Paula and Dunbar. AHAHAHAHAHA. Paula says she'll be doing challenges til she's 83. So next year, then?
The remaining teams are summoned to an airfield. This is the point where I remember that they're going to, like, the goddamn Arctic for the finale and I'm excited again. Not yet though -- this challenge just involves doing some crap while running through the jet wash. The jet wash is horrifically strong, so the challenge is hysterical.
Power Couple: CT and Diem. In your face, TJ!
The Dome: Mark and Robin are sent in to go against losers Camila and Johnny. Mark literally hasn't gone through an elimination challenge in his 57 years of doing Challenges? Damn. To be continued, of course.
Bye-bye: Paula and Dunbar. AHAHAHAHAHA. Paula says she'll be doing challenges til she's 83. So next year, then?
The remaining teams are summoned to an airfield. This is the point where I remember that they're going to, like, the goddamn Arctic for the finale and I'm excited again. Not yet though -- this challenge just involves doing some crap while running through the jet wash. The jet wash is horrifically strong, so the challenge is hysterical.
Power Couple: CT and Diem. In your face, TJ!
The Dome: Mark and Robin are sent in to go against losers Camila and Johnny. Mark literally hasn't gone through an elimination challenge in his 57 years of doing Challenges? Damn. To be continued, of course.
13 March 2012
Justified
Raylan hides the gun that shot Gary in his apartment. He also has apparently gotten an anonymous tip to investigate a missing male hustler.
The town pimp is using his drug-addled whores (including Ellen Mae) to rob banks like it's The Town. One of the girls gets shot and killed in the process. As they're disposing of the body, the pimp kills the other girl and Ellen Mae runs off.
Ava sweet-talks Raylan into visiting Boyd in jail, and Boyd sweet-talks Raylan into chasing down Tanner, the guy who shot up Boyd's clinic and framed him for the sheriff's explosion. Raylan pays a guy to pretend he's ATF and tells the sheriff he looked at the car and thinks Tanner was involved. Raylan follows the sheriff when he goes to meet with Tanner. Tanner's stuck on a landmine, because he associates with people who dabble in explosives. Unfortunately for Tanner, the landmine goes off before he can tell Raylan anything. Raylan hides out at Tanner's mom's house and catches Bubba's second in command coming by to pay her off.
Ellen Mae runs to Ava for protection. Ava calls the pimp and tells him he can have her for $2000. When he delivers the money, Ava shoots him through the chest. Badass Ava rules. I think Boyd is pissed, but he says he respects the decision Ava thought she had to make, and appreciates her thoroughness in cleaning up the body. Ava proposes that she become the new Madam in town.
Bubba hooks Quarles up with a "campaign manager" to fix the sheriff's election, and the debate. Boyd shows up at the debate to steal the show. Boyd Crowder in 2012, bitches!!!! Boyd has his preacher moment of the season and turns the crowd.
Raylan visits Bubba and tells him that he knows he's linked to Quarles. Looks like we're due for a nice Raylan/Quarles face-off next week.
Fun Tidbit of the Day: The sheriff uses mascara on his moustache before a debate.
The town pimp is using his drug-addled whores (including Ellen Mae) to rob banks like it's The Town. One of the girls gets shot and killed in the process. As they're disposing of the body, the pimp kills the other girl and Ellen Mae runs off.
Ava sweet-talks Raylan into visiting Boyd in jail, and Boyd sweet-talks Raylan into chasing down Tanner, the guy who shot up Boyd's clinic and framed him for the sheriff's explosion. Raylan pays a guy to pretend he's ATF and tells the sheriff he looked at the car and thinks Tanner was involved. Raylan follows the sheriff when he goes to meet with Tanner. Tanner's stuck on a landmine, because he associates with people who dabble in explosives. Unfortunately for Tanner, the landmine goes off before he can tell Raylan anything. Raylan hides out at Tanner's mom's house and catches Bubba's second in command coming by to pay her off.
Ellen Mae runs to Ava for protection. Ava calls the pimp and tells him he can have her for $2000. When he delivers the money, Ava shoots him through the chest. Badass Ava rules. I think Boyd is pissed, but he says he respects the decision Ava thought she had to make, and appreciates her thoroughness in cleaning up the body. Ava proposes that she become the new Madam in town.
Bubba hooks Quarles up with a "campaign manager" to fix the sheriff's election, and the debate. Boyd shows up at the debate to steal the show. Boyd Crowder in 2012, bitches!!!! Boyd has his preacher moment of the season and turns the crowd.
Raylan visits Bubba and tells him that he knows he's linked to Quarles. Looks like we're due for a nice Raylan/Quarles face-off next week.
Fun Tidbit of the Day: The sheriff uses mascara on his moustache before a debate.
11 March 2012
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Create a ready-to-wear design that can be mass-produced for cheap and sold in stores.
It's all very boring, as none of the remaining four contestants have real issues with each other. There's only some mild cattiness, but it all seems forced and is confined to the interview segments.
Kenley's dress is typically, fantastically adorable. Austin makes a pink, pleated crazy-twirly coat. Michael does another Golden Girls resort dress. Mondo's dress is a typical crazy mix of fabrics, but I'm worried it's too boxy. I don't want him to get booted; it'll break my heart again.
Winner: Mondo. Oh snap!! I thought he was going to go home. YAY!
Bye-bye: Kenley. The cut of the print kind of screwed her. Whatever - she's still awesome. Love ya, baby!!
So the finale will be Austin, Mondo, and Michael. FABULOUSSSSSS!!!!!!
It's all very boring, as none of the remaining four contestants have real issues with each other. There's only some mild cattiness, but it all seems forced and is confined to the interview segments.
Kenley's dress is typically, fantastically adorable. Austin makes a pink, pleated crazy-twirly coat. Michael does another Golden Girls resort dress. Mondo's dress is a typical crazy mix of fabrics, but I'm worried it's too boxy. I don't want him to get booted; it'll break my heart again.
Winner: Mondo. Oh snap!! I thought he was going to go home. YAY!
Bye-bye: Kenley. The cut of the print kind of screwed her. Whatever - she's still awesome. Love ya, baby!!
So the finale will be Austin, Mondo, and Michael. FABULOUSSSSSS!!!!!!
10 March 2012
No, Really - John Carter
WHAT!?
That's what I said the whole movie. Mid-scene, end scene, beginning of scene -- "WHAT!?"
It's pretty. Well, Taylor Kitsch is pretty. And special effects are special. But if you want some semblance of sense, go elsewhere. I didn't get it. Though I did enjoy the unexpected bit of Cranston.
Meh.
That's what I said the whole movie. Mid-scene, end scene, beginning of scene -- "WHAT!?"
It's pretty. Well, Taylor Kitsch is pretty. And special effects are special. But if you want some semblance of sense, go elsewhere. I didn't get it. Though I did enjoy the unexpected bit of Cranston.
Meh.
08 March 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Paula tells Ty he has no chance. Which of course means he'll have full access to 3 holes in 15 minutes.
Diem whines/talks things out with CT. She looks 53 years old. She's the new Paula. But at least she has cancer survival as an excuse.
The challenge is wedding-themed, complete with dresses and tuxes and eating a huge wedding cake and Dunbar dropping Paula in the ocean.
Power Couple: CT and Diem.
Emily and Camila decide to dress up as Ty and Paula, respectively. Emily: "Are you sure this isn't racist?" No, actually, I'm not sure.... Apparently, that's where Ty draws the line -- blackface made out of melted chocolate. Ty says he's going home, Emily feels bad because she didn't realize blackface was racist, and Paula's begging Ty to stay. But really it's not the racism that bothers Ty, it's just feeling alone and like he has no one. You have the old lady, dude.
The show ends on a lame cliffhanger - who will be sent in to go against losers Ty and Emily?
Diem whines/talks things out with CT. She looks 53 years old. She's the new Paula. But at least she has cancer survival as an excuse.
The challenge is wedding-themed, complete with dresses and tuxes and eating a huge wedding cake and Dunbar dropping Paula in the ocean.
Power Couple: CT and Diem.
Emily and Camila decide to dress up as Ty and Paula, respectively. Emily: "Are you sure this isn't racist?" No, actually, I'm not sure.... Apparently, that's where Ty draws the line -- blackface made out of melted chocolate. Ty says he's going home, Emily feels bad because she didn't realize blackface was racist, and Paula's begging Ty to stay. But really it's not the racism that bothers Ty, it's just feeling alone and like he has no one. You have the old lady, dude.
The show ends on a lame cliffhanger - who will be sent in to go against losers Ty and Emily?
06 March 2012
Justified
Justified has been renewed for a fourth season. Let's all take a moment to thank the TV Gods for that.
Oh Gary. Poor, poor, stupid Gary. As suspected, that was Gary's body in the preview for tonight's show. Quarles shoots him in front of his house. R.I.P. Gary.
As requested by Quarles, the Big Boss's Son plants the seed with the FBI that Raylan is dirty, and in Boyd's pocket. Now Ned Ryerson's back to dig into Raylan and figure out what's going on. And of course the local authorities have their suspicions about Raylan's involvement in Gary's shooting. And remember that bullet that Raylan so awesomely threw at Wynn Duffy? It's the bullet that was used to kill Gary, with his prints all over it. Shit.
The cops think Raylan's story about throwing the bullet at Wynn is awesome. When questioned, Wynn and Quarles of course deny everything and point out Raylan's drinking problem. And then Ned Ryerson comes to question Raylan about being dirty. Jesus Christ! Everything's falling apart all at once! Gotta love it!
Bubba shows up at Quarles's place to tell him that Boyd's backing someone else for sheriff. And when the current sheriff gets in his car, it blows up (he leaves the car just beforehand, and so arrests Boyd for the crime). The sheriff makes a big deal of doing a televised perp walk. Turns out, the sheriff himself planted the explosive there. Goddammit, why are my men being wrongly accused??
Between his 2 interrogations, Raylan realizes that it's likely Quarles put a weapon in his car to frame him. And he's already given the cops permission to search it. So Tim helps him escape the building to try to find it. But then Winona calls him -- she found the gun in her house, didn't touch it (because she's not an asshole), and gets it out of there before the cops search the house.
Ned Ryerson won't reveal the source of his tip, so the AUSA won't give an indictment. And the cops don't have enough on Raylan either. Quarles is a wee bit frustrated by this, and the Big Boss's Son tells him he's done... and that can only lead to bad things. Like Quarles driving to Bubba's holler, chewing some kind of drug.
This was another great Tim episode, full of random awesomeness and bitchiness. Wynn and Raylan have a great, hysterical discussion as well. It essentially involves Wynn threatening to prove he's a natural blond by raping Raylan. It's almost as great as a good Boyd and Raylan discussion. Love Wynn Duffy.
Oh Gary. Poor, poor, stupid Gary. As suspected, that was Gary's body in the preview for tonight's show. Quarles shoots him in front of his house. R.I.P. Gary.
As requested by Quarles, the Big Boss's Son plants the seed with the FBI that Raylan is dirty, and in Boyd's pocket. Now Ned Ryerson's back to dig into Raylan and figure out what's going on. And of course the local authorities have their suspicions about Raylan's involvement in Gary's shooting. And remember that bullet that Raylan so awesomely threw at Wynn Duffy? It's the bullet that was used to kill Gary, with his prints all over it. Shit.
The cops think Raylan's story about throwing the bullet at Wynn is awesome. When questioned, Wynn and Quarles of course deny everything and point out Raylan's drinking problem. And then Ned Ryerson comes to question Raylan about being dirty. Jesus Christ! Everything's falling apart all at once! Gotta love it!
Bubba shows up at Quarles's place to tell him that Boyd's backing someone else for sheriff. And when the current sheriff gets in his car, it blows up (he leaves the car just beforehand, and so arrests Boyd for the crime). The sheriff makes a big deal of doing a televised perp walk. Turns out, the sheriff himself planted the explosive there. Goddammit, why are my men being wrongly accused??
Between his 2 interrogations, Raylan realizes that it's likely Quarles put a weapon in his car to frame him. And he's already given the cops permission to search it. So Tim helps him escape the building to try to find it. But then Winona calls him -- she found the gun in her house, didn't touch it (because she's not an asshole), and gets it out of there before the cops search the house.
Ned Ryerson won't reveal the source of his tip, so the AUSA won't give an indictment. And the cops don't have enough on Raylan either. Quarles is a wee bit frustrated by this, and the Big Boss's Son tells him he's done... and that can only lead to bad things. Like Quarles driving to Bubba's holler, chewing some kind of drug.
This was another great Tim episode, full of random awesomeness and bitchiness. Wynn and Raylan have a great, hysterical discussion as well. It essentially involves Wynn threatening to prove he's a natural blond by raping Raylan. It's almost as great as a good Boyd and Raylan discussion. Love Wynn Duffy.
03 March 2012
The Challenge: Battle of the Exes
Ty and Paula keep flirting and Paula keeps saying she has a boyfriend. They end up making out. And motorboating. And screwing. It's the Worst Thing I've Ever Seen. Diem and CT have a massive, drunken, crying fight on a bus and it's the Greatest Thing I've Ever Seen. Thanks for taking the sting off Ty banging that old lady, guys.
The Challenge involves handling slippery balls and - let's face it (this is too easy) - if there's one thing these people are good at, it's handling slippery balls.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila. Jesus Christ - it's always them!
The Dome: Rachel and Aneesa are sent in to go against losers Dunbar and Paula. It's that awful giant-rubber-band resistance challenge.
Bye-bye: Rachel and Aneesa.
The Challenge involves handling slippery balls and - let's face it (this is too easy) - if there's one thing these people are good at, it's handling slippery balls.
Power Couple: Johnny and Camila. Jesus Christ - it's always them!
The Dome: Rachel and Aneesa are sent in to go against losers Dunbar and Paula. It's that awful giant-rubber-band resistance challenge.
Bye-bye: Rachel and Aneesa.
Project Runway All Stars
Challenge: Create an avant-garde look that uses lighting effects, like LED lights, fiber optics, and black light. Pretty cool.
There's a random bit of "Austin's (hot) mom is homeless" drama, because her house has gone into foreclosure like 25% of the rest of America. Not sure what they're going for here, other than it means Austin's getting the boot and we're supposed to feel bad. They might just be desperate for some kind of story.
All of the looks are crazy as shit. Like, Nicki-Minaj-crazy. But they're supposed to be! To me, they're all pretty equally awesome -- except Michael's, which looks like someone from Mortal Kombat -- or perhaps some more recent video game reference. Hey -- guest judge Pharrell Williams uses the same dated reference!
Winner: Austin. Too bad the prize isn't a new home for mommy.
Bye-bye: Jerell. Yeah, I could see that. He had this long black skirt under his dress. Looked better with just the tights under it.
There's a random bit of "Austin's (hot) mom is homeless" drama, because her house has gone into foreclosure like 25% of the rest of America. Not sure what they're going for here, other than it means Austin's getting the boot and we're supposed to feel bad. They might just be desperate for some kind of story.
All of the looks are crazy as shit. Like, Nicki-Minaj-crazy. But they're supposed to be! To me, they're all pretty equally awesome -- except Michael's, which looks like someone from Mortal Kombat -- or perhaps some more recent video game reference. Hey -- guest judge Pharrell Williams uses the same dated reference!
Winner: Austin. Too bad the prize isn't a new home for mommy.
Bye-bye: Jerell. Yeah, I could see that. He had this long black skirt under his dress. Looked better with just the tights under it.
01 March 2012
Top Chef: Texas: Finale
Don't we usually have a 3-way competition for the winner? Kind of cool that there's only 2 this time, head-to-head. Who would've thought Sarah would have a chance of beating Paul.
Challenge: Create a 4-course menu and the restaurant of your dreams, using ousted contestants as sous chefs. Paul and Sarah choose their team based on a blind tasting of a dish made by each of the contestants. Paul gets a professional chef who was in there as a ringer, Ty-Lör, Hot Chris, and Big Keith. Sarah gets Nyesha, Tyler - the cocky asshole who didn't even make it to the top 16, Heather, and Grayson.
Shocker - Paul does an Asian menu. Shocker - Sarah serves something with whipped lardo. They both gets great comments from the judges, though it seems like they're more enthusiastic about Paul's overall. But they always edit that deceptively anyway.
Winner: Paul.
DDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!
And Sarah's a whiny bitch about it. Waaaaaahhhhhhh you lost.
Challenge: Create a 4-course menu and the restaurant of your dreams, using ousted contestants as sous chefs. Paul and Sarah choose their team based on a blind tasting of a dish made by each of the contestants. Paul gets a professional chef who was in there as a ringer, Ty-Lör, Hot Chris, and Big Keith. Sarah gets Nyesha, Tyler - the cocky asshole who didn't even make it to the top 16, Heather, and Grayson.
Shocker - Paul does an Asian menu. Shocker - Sarah serves something with whipped lardo. They both gets great comments from the judges, though it seems like they're more enthusiastic about Paul's overall. But they always edit that deceptively anyway.
Winner: Paul.
DDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YESSSSSSSSSSSS!
And Sarah's a whiny bitch about it. Waaaaaahhhhhhh you lost.
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