I Fangirl Stand-Up

We went to see Aziz Ansari at the Miami Improv last night. Aziz, of course, is from Human Giant and Parks and Recreation. And Pete Holmes opened for him, which was awesome. You should know Pete from Best Week Ever - you know, the old, good version.

By the end of the night my face hurt from laughing so much. Aziz is wild. He has a great bit about R. Kelly, and then he closed out his set by doing stand-up as his character Randy from the upcoming Funny People. If even a quarter of that is in the movie, it'll be awesome. Pete was just as funny. He had this great bit about needing to work out what "non-fiction" means in his head each time he sees it. I just about died - I said the same thing a few months ago. I literally see "non-fiction" and go "Fiction is false, non-fiction is non-false." Yeah, I'm smart.

Anyway, Aziz is touring so if you get the chance to see him DO IT! You won't be sorry. But your face will hurt.

Up

I saw Up last night, despite my aversion to movies about old people, movies about single old people, and weirdly-animated Pixar people.

Old people make me cry, they just do. Add on loneliness and I'm done. I kept it together somehow during this movie, despite their obvious attempts to tug at my heartstrings. I didn't want to give Disney the satisfaction.

It's a good movie - I probably chuckled a few times and the story is nice. But, again, it's about a lonely old man. However, if, like me, the one thing you find lacking in your Disney movies is miscarriage, then this movie is for you. I'm not kidding. And I'm sitting there wondering what all the kids around me are thinking during that scene. I doubt they got it, but if they did there may be some awkward question-and-answer time at home later.

This may surprise you, but I don't have a degree in physics. Even with my limited education in the laws of physics, however, I'm quite sure this film is highly implausible.

To sum up: Miscarriage and death. And a fat Asian kid. If that sounds like your kind of movie, then go for it.

The Duel II

Wow, so Aneesa and Rachel were involved before. It's been 7 years (OMG, we've known these people for 7 years?) and Rachel must be awesome because Aneesa can't let it go.

There are a lot of effing lesbians on this show. At least they bring some drama to this show, unlike the boring dudes who discuss dream interpretation.

The challenge is a weird upside down/up high/tightrope/walking on your hands challenge. I wouldn't be able to do a single one of these heights challenges. And that's the only reason why I decided not to compete this year.

Winners: Landon and Rachel. They need to switch up these challenges so other people have a damn shot.

Last picked: Derek and Jenn. Derek chooses to go up against Evan (and boy does Evan like to whine about being picked) and Jenn chooses Diem. Haha Jenn was too afraid to pick Aneesa.

Bye-bye: Derek (he sucked so hard it was laughable and cringe-worthy at the same time) and Jenn. I like Jenn, but I'm not sure why. She has bad eyebrows and talks about people having bad souls so they don't deserve to win.

24 Casting News: WHUT!?

Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello reports that Freddie Prinze Jr. has taken a major role in the upcoming season of 24.

He'll play Davis Cole, a former military man who now heads the field operations unit of the revived CTU in New York. His character is apparently a Marine who's returned from duty in the Middle East, and is readjusting to civilian life. His character also has that love angle coming in; he's romantically involved with Dayna Pakkala, an analyst at the CTU who's yet to be cast.

Oh, and one more thing: he's a big admirer of Jack Bauer, and aspires to follow the same career path as him.

If Ricky Schroder can do it, I guess Freddie can do it. And, well, he does have a baby he'll need to support. Bet he gets killed off in 5 weeks.
source

The Duel II

What have I been doing with my life? Where are my priorities? It took me this long to watch the latest episode.

The challenge is pretty dull, involving much dangling and usage of arm muscles. Winners: Landon and Brittini. Damn, do they win everything? It wasn't even a team challenge and they both win.

Last picked: Dunbar and Paula. Paula chooses to go up against Aneesa, and Dunbar picks MJ.

Dunbar: "I'm confident that I can probably handle him." If you use the word probably, then you're not that confident, right?

Paula's still got this hangup about Dunbar and Kim. Let it go, you dumb Cougar.

Bye-bye: Dunbar and Paula. Good - because I hate Paula, and now we don't have to hear her whine about missing Dunbar.

Home of the Zach Galifianakis Fan Club

New Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis with Bradley Cooper. Hilarious as always. I can't wait to see The Hangover.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Warning: Baby Heavy Post

Back from a nice weekend in Pennsylvania, most of which was spent eating babies. Some pierogies, but mostly babies.



Babies: They're just like us! They use cell phones.





They drink coffee. Jackson gets bonus points for the popped collar. Poser.





They love Aunt Jen.




And then they get SALTY!

Terminator Salvation

I'll admit it, I was disappointed in Terminator Salvation. Actually, I had lowered my expectations once I saw the 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, so really I suppose I got what I expected. Which means not anywhere close to as good as Star Trek, more on par with Wolverine.

It's time to face facts: It's not a Terminator movie without Arnold Schwarzenegger. He makes those movies and when he's not around, it just doesn't feel the same. This really didn't feel like the other movies. Now on one hand, I guess that's a good thing - this is the first time we get an extended look at the future post-Judgment Day, after all - but it also just feels like it doesn't fit into the Terminator universe. Instead of robots that looks like humans or are made of liquid metal, you have more rudimentary metal soldiers and huge aircraft.

The special effects and the sound in this movie are great. There's a lot of metal action - motorcycle-robots and large "harvester" aircraft that pick people up like a claw machine. The sounds of those harvesters were amazing - loud, groaning metal sounds that vibrated my seat with the bass.

While there were definitely a couple of spectacular action sequences, the movie felt very disjointed to me. It was really a lot like a video game. I think it's because one of the first sequences is kind of seen from John Connor's perspective, so that it feels like one of those first-person shooter games. The plot was pretty standard and non-complicated (yet still a mess), characters' motivations were either unexplained or made no sense, and some of the actions seemed illogical to me. The movie was just successive action sequences, and they are worth seeing on the big screen, but I was disappointed there wasn't much of a larger story.

And much as it pains me to say it, Christian Bale didn't need to be in this movie. He was more of a supporting character, and not given much more to do than run, shoot, and scream. The infamous recording of his on-set raveout had more emotion (and dialogue) than this movie. But Sam Worthington was great as Marcus Wright - and he was really the star of the movie.

I have liked all of the Terminator movies, even the third one, but this one just didn't seem the same. Lots of action, not much mysticism.

Fringe Casting News

DAMMIT!!!! Kirk Acevedo (Charlie Francis) has been fired. I'm pissed. I loved Charlie. LOVELOVELOVED CHARLIE! He and Olivia were BFFs and I love how he was with Walter too. Dammit.

And no, I'm not Facebook friends with him, I just found this screencap where he confirmed it.

24: Season Finale Part 2

Let's get the Presidential Plotline stuff out of the way first again.

Olivia the Giant C is confronted with the recording by Ethan and Aaron and it's ~*~beautiful~*~. Olivia knows they can't go public with it without destroying the President's Administration, and Ethan wouldn't do that. So Ethan pulls the trick Moms have been pulling on kids for years: "What until your father finds out." In this case, he wants her to tell the President, and let the President decide what to do with her.

Olivia meets with both of her parents, dragging her recovering-from-surgery father out of bed. Bitch. She tells them the truth, that she hired someone to kill Jon Voight. This whole Family Ruling the White House Together thing is so stupid. The President is scolding her Chief of Staff like she got knocked up or something!!! Is this the White House or Juno? The First Husband thinks Jon Voight deserves it and that they should cover this up. I mean, he turns it all around on the President! Day-um! "Your job caused our son's death" - that kind of crap. This family stinks.

In the end, the President proves she has some balls, and upholds her sworn oath to the Constitution. EFF YEAH! Aaron takes Olivia into custody and I love it!!! Thank you, Mrs. President, for making one good decision today. But stop apologizing - you're not the one who broke the law. Olivia deserves it, darling. And you don't need that bald, ugly, dick of a husband either. Go forth and be the lesbian President you were meant to be.

Jack breaks into a taxi company garage and takes a taxi. Tony goes in after him... with a forklift! OK, Tony isn't playing anymore. He's officially an evil asshole. Boo.

Tony tells Jack that everything he has done today has been to get access to Alan Wilson, the man who has agreed to meet with him. Alan's responsible for everything from Charles Logan to David Palmer's assassination to Michelle's death. And that's why Tony wants to get his hands on him. Only he's not going to kill him - Jack is. He straps a bomb to Jack's chest, but he never gets the chance to explode it, as the FBI comes helicoptering in. Commence shootout and more exploding gas leaks. Renee proves she's Jack Bauer with a Vagina, as she gets all hardcore with her shooting, hopping on SUVs, and somersaulting.

Tony shoots his girlfriend in the stomach and then jumps onto Alan. There is bitching and punching and kicking. Just as I say, "I'll bet they say Michelle was pregnant," Tony says, "You didn't just kill my wife; she was pregnant with my son." I'm a regular 24 psychic, I am. Jack busts in and shoots Tony in the shoulder to prevent him from killing Alan.

Tony is taken away and Renee's all tough with Alan, urging him to cooperate in order to get out of major treason charges. He plays it cool, all, "I don't know what you're talking about." Renee tells Jack she can make Alan talk. Oh really, darling? Now torture's OK, yes? It's official, she's Jack. With freckles. Jack offers her some kind of "inspiring" speech, borne from his years of experience. I think it all boiled down to: "Make a choice you can live with." I wasn't really paying attention because I'm not falling for this "Jack's Last Words" crap.

Jack is brought to a hospital, and of course rejects morphine. He calls the Muslim leader dude from a couple hours back to come pray at his bedside. He's converting to Islam before he dies? He wants the 70 virgins I'm guessing. Again, I'm just not falling for this heart-string-tugging stuff. Jack Bauer doesn't die.

Kim shows up and forces her stem cells upon Jack while he's in a coma because her selfish ass isn't ready to let him go. Risks, experimental, may not work, blahblahblah. That's exactly how we figured it would all turn out. No surprise there.

Renee breaks into Alan's interrogation room and holds Janeane Garofalo at gunpoint, disables the cameras, and sets down her badge, taking another 16 pages out of the Jack Bauer Playbook. And that's it. No resolution there. Well this was a bit of a lame ending. Hella lame.

I would not like to reflect on the losses we have suffered over this past season. So I won't. But I did learn one lesson: Never hire family as your Chief of Staff.

24: Season Finale Part 1

When did I start being bothered by this show again? Oh right, the minute Tony turned bad again. DAMMIT!

Olivia is questioned about her possible involvement in Jon Voight's murder. At 6 AM. They had to move that quickly, huh? Couldn't wait until business hours? I guess that's the theme this season, hell, this whole series. NOTHING waits until business hours.

Aaron suspects Olivia's involved, so he has the old Chief of Staff (Ethan) access the recording system in her office. Olivia is a Giant C to Ethan, and now I don't feel sorry for her one bit! Olivia sees the recording system and does another one of those crapping-her-pantsuit looks I love so much. She has Ethan detained and demands to get the recording back, having the man strip-searched when he refuses to comply. Olivia destroys the data card, and I hope to god that's not the actual card. Indeed, it is not. Aaron had the card the whole time, and hands it over to Ethan on his way out. Ethan has a "compatible device" in his car so he can listen there. Of course he does. That's Contingency Plan G for him. How terribly convenient.

Ethan drives a Hyundai Genesis? Really? A Hyundai? He listens to the recording and hears the conversation between Olivia and her hitman middleman.

Meanwhile, for the Bad Guys, Contingency Plan W is in effect, as Jack is instructed to hand over Tony or else Kim gets it. Jack points his gun at Renee and the other FBI agents, even shooting one dude in the leg to prove his point. He meets up with Tony's Gang and Tony brings Jack along, telling his girlfriend that they can harvest the bioweapon out of Jack's organs. WTF!? You don't harvest Jack Bauer!! That's hardcore, Tony.

Renee calls Kim at the airport and tells her what's going on. I won't ask how the guy watching Kim got a gun in the airport, but the guy watching Kim got a gun in the airport. A Washington, DC airport. He gets in a shootout with cops and his wife holds a knife to Kim's throat until Kim stabs her in the leg with a pen. The guy gets away, as someone finally gets a low battery on their cell phone - Kim loses contact with Renee.

Naturally, Kim decides it would be a good idea to chase the psycho man with the gun by herself. The guy gets to a car, wrecking it as he tries to escape. The car is upside down and on fire, but that doesn't stop Kim from sticking her dumb arm in there. She's not that dumb though, because her intention is to get the laptop. She does, and gets on the phone with Chloe to backtrace the whatchamacallit in order to find out where Jack is.

Tony decides that 6:38 AM is as good a time as any to ask for a promotion in the Evil Organization. Not even the bad guys wait for business hours. Tony's girlfriend gets him a meeting with Alan, the Head Evil Dude, and doctors set about extracting Jack's spinal fluid. Luckily, Jack doesn't require spinal fluid like humans do, and he kills the doctors with his bare hands and escapes.

On to Hour 2....

I'm Going To Have More Free Time

The Unusuals and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles were canceled today. Dagger. I was really getting into The Unusuals, and of course I'm bummed about being rid of my David Silver action. Asses.

Dollhouse got renewed though, so that's good. And even though I thought those cancellations would mean I would have more free time, they're going to do a Fall season of So You Think You Can Dance. That's in addition to the Summer season which starts Thursday! Yay!

Screw You, NBC

NBC renewed Chuck. Finally. I know I should be happy about that. But if I could just make one complaint....

They're cutting it to 13 episodes and restricting the budget. The budget!? This is the same network that is going to have Jay Leno on EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Are they blowing all of their money on him?

I really hope that Jay Leno experiment fails. Looking at NBC's schedule is ridiculous - there are all of 4 sitcoms (all on the same night) and a handful of shows. How lame. Soon they will cease to exist.

And when that happens, I hope Chuck moves to the CW.

Wait! What? No!

The May season finale is not it for Prison Break. A direct-to-DVD movie called Prison Break: The Final Break will be arriving on DVD and Blu-ray on July 21st.

It's going to fill in what happened in the 4 years between Michael's goddamned nosebleed and that epilogue. Here's the tragedy: I don't care, but I'm going to have to watch it. DAMMIT!

Prison Break: R.I.P.

I decided to just rip the band-aid off quickly and watch the final 2 episodes at once. Little did I know the finale was 2 hours long. Great. Three hours of the most painful show on television? Sounds like a Saturday night to me. I might need a drink. Yeah, that's a good idea. Mmmm... Woodchuck Cider.

The Not-Really-Brothers have been framed for the assassination of The Indian Whoever. And now the show has become Hotel Break. Long story short: they escape with the aid of manicure scissors and a refrigerator full of toilet paper. Literally.

The Gang's all back together, and the General picks a name out of a hat, choosing Michael Rapaport. He then has Rapaport's handicapped wife killed to drive home the get-Scylla-or-I-kill-your-loved-ones threat. Rapaport jumps out the window and into the harbor, swimming his way into a hospital. His stunt double in this first hour was particularly hilarious. Last I checked, Rapaport doesn't have straight, frosted hair. In the hospital, he's questioned by agents, and then Mommy's guy attempts to murder him.

The Indian Prime Minister hears a rumor that the Chinese are responsible for his son's death, and he decides he wants to kick their ass. He asks Mommy Dearest for the Scylla technology so he can blow them the hell up. Meanwhile, she reaches out to China to offer them the same technology. Wow, Mommy wants to start up an Indian-Chinese war? She's one tough bitch.

The Not-Brothers and Mahone get Scylla from Mommy when she's in a bank. They get separated and Mommy catches Lincoln. She shoots Linc while she's on the phone with Michael, letting him know that his Not-Brother will die within 5 hours if she doesn't get Scylla back. Meanwhile, the General sends T-Bag out to get Sara and they hold her in exchange for Scylla.

Michael rigs a bomb out of materials I didn't take note of, but they were probably candy necklaces and Cheetos, maybe some toothpaste. He meets up with Mommy and blows her man up, but she gets away with Lincoln.

Our old pal Sucre is walking the streets of Chicago with diapers under his arm when he's picked up by someone we don't see. This is the part where I clap my hands and yell, "I hope it's C-Note" in a high-pitched girlie voice. AND I GOT MY WISH!!! IT'S C-NOTE! OK, this is officially worth it now. I don't mind watching. I love you, C-Note!! I guess C-Note's deal with the feds has fallen through, and he wants to catch Lincoln and Michael and hand them over to Some Dude in exchange for his freedom.

There's far too much double-crossing going on here, as Mahone strikes a deal with Mommy. He'll get her Scylla in exchange for the safety of his wife and Lincoln's life. He likes Lincoln; he doesn't particularly care whether Michael lives or dies. But of course he's not really double-crossing, and is in fact working with Michael. This show makes me dizzy.

There's lots of lovely, hammy scenery chewing, as T-Bag does his nasty/sexy murderous/rapey thing with Sara. "I'll return you in one piece, but that piece is gonna be a little used." OH SNAP, SON! Sara's all, "I know you have neurologic e.d.; you can't do crap" and then Michael shows up and kicks T-Bag's ass.

Michael and Sara have half of Scylla and Mahone and Lincoln have the other half and eventually they're all reunited. Unfortunately, Lincoln is spitting up lots of blood. They take him to the hospital where Michael Rapaport is being questioned, and one of those agents arrests Mahone while Sara sneaks in to get supplies. Then The General's man nabs them and brings them all to The General.

The Dude working with C-Note and Sucre turns out to be Paul Kellerman!! Again, I guessed it was him, squealing his name, before they revealed him. OMG I FORGOT ABOUT PAUL KELLERMAN!!!! I knew you weren't really killed!!! I LOVE YOU TOO! They're bringing back all the Old Sillies trying to make me happy. It's working.

Sucre and C-Note nab T-Bag and torture The General's location out of him. They show up and shoot The General's remaining guys. It's up to Michael to decide whether he's gonna kill The General or not. Guess what he picks? Pussy.

They all run off to get Scylla to hand it over to Kellerman. Mommy shows up to their little hideout and Michael holds a gun on her. He actually pulls the trigger this time, but it misfires. Sara shoots and kills Mommy just as Mommy shoots Michael, catching him in the shoulder.

Michael and his gunshot wound meet with Kellerman, who is working for the Anti-Company and the United Nations. LOL, I don't know how the UN got involved in this mess, but why wouldn't they I guess. Kellerman says every last one of them will be exonerated. Michael has trust issues - go figure - but eventually turns over Scylla. Oh thank god.

Now everyone has a final meeting in a conference room, signing their little pardons. Why they have to sign is beyond me. I guess they have to agree not to sue the United Nations for their various gunshot wounds. They're all told that their loved ones are safe, and T-Bag is taken back to prison. Well isn't this just a happy ending?

As Michael and Sara walk along the beach, Michael's nose starts to bleed. Oh Christ. Didn't we get past those nosebleeds?

Four Years Later. Oh crap, I hate epilogues. Mahone mails his ex-wife a birthday card, and has hooked up with that black agent he was partnered with. HELLS YES! Lincoln is with Sofia, living on a beach. Sucre is with his daughter. C-Note works for UPS and lives in suburbia. Kellerman is a sexy Congressman. Michael Rapaport is a vegetable in a wheelchair. The General is executed in an electric chair. T-Bag is back in Fox River, with a twink holding his pocket like the good old days. Sara is with her son. And Sara, Lincoln, Mahone, and Sucre gather together... around Michael's grave. How dumb. What was the point of that? Ugh. I'm not sad... at least C-Note, Sucre, Kellerman, and Mahone lived.

Oh, Prison Break, I did so love you that glorious first season. I wish you had always remained Oz-lite. Instead, you're the perfect example of a show overstaying its welcome.

Angels & Demons

No thanks. This is another one of those movies I watch for love. My husband wants to see it, and it doesn't look too painful, so I go. Ugh. I didn't like The DaVinci Code much either and I'd put this right on par with that one. Pseudo-intellectual bollocks that thinks if you confuse the audience they'll think you're smart. Robert Langdon solves everything far too quickly and conveniently, and of course he's the only one to witness things and survive and the like. I really can't believe Tom Hanks and Ron Howard got roped into this crap. Anyone could star in it; anyone could direct it. There's nothing mind-blowing or special here.

There are 56 false endings and only 2 cool scenes. I don't want to give anything away to say what they are, but there are literally only 2 scenes I thought were done well.

I didn't go into the movie expecting much, and I wasn't surprised. Skip it!

The Duel II

Has Evan never hooked up with anyone on these shows before? He was kind of with Coral, but that was more of a friendship, right? He always seems to be laughing at everyone else's drama and hookups, but I don't think he's had any of his own. Good. I hope he keeps it that way. Evan has no tolerance for these people. I love it and I love his sarcastic ass.

Paula the Aggressive Cougar is all territorial over Dunbar and his relationship with Kim, even though they're not even together and Dunbar has a girlfriend. Paula really is a psycho. And she's too old to be acting this way. Or else she just looks old.

Speaking of old, Mark should probably stop bragging about being 37.

TJ, in typical douchebag fashion, keeps his sunglasses tucked into his shirt - at the back of his neck. Loser. I hope he lays back on them and drives a glass shard into his skull. Kill yourself.

These heights challenges kind of make me ill. I would piss myself. Yep, I would 100% piss myself standing that far above a canyon. And wow, Landon and Brittini tore that up.

Eric crushes a testicle. LOL. Big Easy cracks me up. Too bad he refers to himself as Big Easy.

Challenge winners: Landon and Brittini.

Last picked: Derek (I had to wait until they put his name up on screen to type that - I have only a vague idea of who he is. I certainly don't know his name.) and Kim. It took Dunbar forever to choose Paula over her. So funny. Derek chooses Eric and Kim chooses Jenn.

Bye-bye: Eric and Kim. Paula of course gloats over this and makes fun of Dunbar for being upset. Paula is a giant C.

So. Cute.

Dolly Rebecca Rose Romijn O'Connell and Charlie Tamara Tulip Romijn O'Connell sure are supermodels in training - just need to shorten the names.

Blind Item

B&C has it on good authority that a certain warmed-over starlet is slaying her current TV project before it has even had the chance to start.

She sure knows how to hold a grudge - she got in a fight with the director and hasn't left her trailer since 9:30 AM.

Lost: Season Finale

A. Thanks for the memories, Caps. Next time, maybe some defense.

B. Two freaking hours of Lost. This is going to exhaust me mentally, isn't it?

The show opens with a dude using a loom and a fire, with the Black Rock sailing ship in the background and the giant statue intact. Ye Olden Times, I presume, and the man turns out to be Jacob.

We see Jacob as he intersects in the lives of most everyone on the Island. Young Kate tries to shoplift a New Kids on the Block lunch box, but Jacob shows up and pays for it. Jacob also visits Young Sawyer at his parents' funeral, is with Sayid when Nadia is hit by a car and killed, asks Ilana to do something for him (while she's in the hospital with her face bandaged), brings Locke back to life after he falls out of the window, is a guest at Jin and Sun's wedding, offers a candy bar to Jack, shares a cab with Hurley. In each of the scenarios, he gives the people words of wisdom, or the bit of encouragement they needed. It's like he was in their lives at a turning point, and he influenced them to go one way or the other.

Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate escape the sub in order to stop Jack from setting off the bomb. When they arrive on the Island, Vincent the dog greets them. And Rose and Bernard are there too! It's been 3 years and they're still there, living in peaceful, hippie retirement.

Sayid and Jack dismantle the nuclear bomb to remove the core so they can transport it to the Swan station site and blow it the eff up. As they walk through the Dharma village, Ben's dad sees them and shoots Sayid in the gut! Luckily Hurley, Jin, and Miles show up in a van and drive them away.

They are stopped along the way by a roadblock composed of Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate. Sawyer and Jack have a huge-ass fight until Juliet breaks them up, saying that Jack's right (OF COURSE HE IS). She's really only saying this out of jealousy. Why must everyone always be pining for Kate? Sawyer and Juliet are awesome together and Jack and Kate deserve each other's misery; just let things be. Anyway, since Sawyer is evidently pussy-whipped, he lets Jack do what he wants.

Jack takes the bomb to the site just as the drill is reaching the pocket of whatever-the-hell. That's when Miles says to everyone else, "Have you ever considered that maybe the nuclear bomb is the incident, not the drilling? So maybe the best thing to do is nothing?" Point for the Asian.

Jack shoots his way into the drilling site, as the rest of his cavalry comes driving in to provide him with cover. Jack drops the bomb down the shaft but nothing happens. Then everything metallic starts to get sucked down into the shaft, as clearly the electromagnetic whatchamacallit has been unleashed. Phil dies rather nicely, with some rebar to the chest. Juliet gets tangled up in chains and sucked down, despite Sawyer's efforts to hold onto her. So sad. I loved Sawyer and Juliet together. BOO!

Locke leads his people along the beach to find Jacob. They end up at the base of the giant statue, which is of course now just a foot. Jacob lives there. He's the Old Woman in a Shoe. Locke's all, "Come on, Ben, time for you to kill Jacob."

The other group of randoms from the latest crash (including Ilana and The Pilot) take a large cargo box to Jacob's cabin. When she finds the cabin empty, Ilana has her pals torch it, and they walk to the giant foot statue. She exchanges code words with Richard and tells him she has something to show him. WHAT'S IN THE BOX!? Locke's dead body. That's what I figured.

So who or what is the guy in the statue with Ben? Whoever he is, that guy and Ben find Jacob. Ben bitches at Jacob, all jealous that Locke gets to him immediately while Ben never got the chance to meet him. "What about me? Waaaah." Then Ben stabs him a few times. "They're coming," Jacob tells Locke before Locke pushes him into a fire, burning his ass to death.

Juliet's at the bottom of the shaft, and barely alive. She sees the bomb and whacks it a few times, finally detonating it.

The End. I mean, whuuuuuuuuuuuuuut? This was a good ass season finale. See you in 2010 for the final season!

Fringe: Season Finale

It's the last episode of Fringe, but I'm not going to cry. It's the one show I love to death that I know is coming back. So I'm relieved. Still sad to see it go, but relieved. I LOVE YOU, WALTER!

Nina was shot at the end of the last episode, and she is taken to the hospital while Olivia & Company investigate. The German Transporter Dude (Jones, such a German-sounding name) was among the assailants caught on video. They didn't just shoot her - they also stole a super-cool-high-tech-apocalyptic energy cell from her bionic arm.

Jones is dying as a result of his teleportation, with his face melting off, and is seeking revenge on William Bell. Nina makes a deal with Olivia: find Jones and she'll get Olivia a sit-down with Bell.

Pacey arrives in the lab to find Walter missing. They check his usual places - falling asleep in the cafeteria, falling asleep in the marine biology lab while cleaning out the tanks - but he's nowhere to be found.

First Walter's in a cemetery with The Observer, then they're having a nice long walk on the beach, talking about how "there is more than one of everything." Walter is led to a house, where it's up to him to remember what he's supposed to get there.

Jones is out on the streets of New York trying to do something that looks like ripping a hole in the space-time continuum (as if I know what that looks like). A semi truck slips through, and then Jones decides he has the wrong coordinates. Meanwhile, Olivia and Charlie are like WTF is up with this weird non-registered alternate-reality truck? Then Jones strikes again at a soccer field, and this time his bubble cuts a person in half.

Pacey tracks Walter down to the house, which is their abandoned beach house. Poor Walter is freaking out trying to remember what he's looking for. After some nice, calming storytelling from Pacey, Walter remembers, and digs out a box with some kind of device that can be used to plug up holes in the universe.

Nina tells Olivia & Company that Bell isn't in our world - he's in an alternate-reality. And Jones is trying to break through so he can get to him, he just has to find the right location.

Olivia's team and the Bishops converge on Jones's location at the same time. Olivia shoots at Jones as he walks toward the hole he's opened up, but he doesn't die. And then Pacey activates Walter's device, cutting Jones in half. R.I.P. Freaky German Dude.

In the end, Walter is back at the cemetery... at a grave marked "Peter Bishop 1978-1985". I literally gasped. He was always talking about Pacey being sick and almost dying as a child. It would appear he did. And earlier he talked about something precious being lost to him, and his desire to open up a hole into another reality. WHO IS PACEY!? Is it alternate-reality Pacey? Did Walter bring him back!? WTF!?

Then Olivia is riding an elevator when she has one of her alternate-reality flashes. She gets off and arrives at Bell's office. He has a newspaper that reads Obamas Set to Move Into New White House. It also reports Len Bias wins MVP (he's dead) and Former President Kennedy to Address U.N. (he's not). AND THE OFFICE IS IN THE WORLD TRADE CENTER!!!!!

This show blew my mind. Now I have to watch it all over again to try to pick up Alternative Pacey clues. Not that I wouldn't have anyway. See you on the DVD!

This week's code: GRA. No, really, I think it was GRA. Maybe it was cut in half by the hole Jones made.

24

Another hockey/24 doubleheader. Awesome.

A. GO CAPS! GAME SEVENNNNNN!

B. 24. Don't break my heart tonight, please.

Washington Central Station is the target. Since there's no such thing, I'll just assume it's Union Station, since they put it on the Red Line. And even though they have made-up station names, a lot of the Metro signage is accurate. So I'll give them that one.

The injured member of Tony's gang - and by injured I mean "bleeding profusely from the neck" - is forced to call Tony so they can trace the call. Guess how Jack gets him to cooperate? If you guessed, "By withholding morphine," you win! Chloe determines Tony's in Adams Morgan, which is the trendy, gay area of town. Nice.

Chloe and Janeane Garofalo bitch at each other a lot (catfight!), but you know they'll be BFFs when this is done, sharing new protocols, swapping hacking methods, and bitching about everyone they work with.

Jack and Renee crash into Tony's vehicle and Jack chokes him out. Even calls him a piece of crap, because Jack likes to kick a man when he's down. Jack punches the crap out of Tony's face and then cries about Tony betraying him. Problem is, neither man has anything left to lose, so Jack's threats are empty. They determine the location of the weapon and Jack leaves Tony to be head-butted another day.

Jack talks to Framed Random Brown Guy and he finds the weapon on the train, with 1 minute left until it goes off. Conveniently, everyone gets off at Washington Central Station, and no one gets on. Right. Anyway, Random Brown Guy runs off of the train and gets the weapon to Jack, who throws it into a containment unit with 1 second to spare. Crisis averted, right? No.

Next crisis: Kim's flight is delayed. Really? A flight that early in the morning is delayed? This show is so full of it. :) Kim spots a suspicious-looking guy in the airport, and I groan. Kim in trouble again!?

I'm calling it now: the shady dude at the airport gets Kim in order to get her stem cells or whatever-the-hell-Jack needs so that his organization can save Jack and grow him into a super soldier.

Well, I called it wrong. Shady Dude is there at Jack's request, watching to make sure his baby gets home safely. Aw, Jack. How sweet. I'll hold out for that super soldier idea though. Because then another dude attacks and kills Not-Really-Shady Dude. Oops.

Jack takes Tony into custody, knowing he'll be the target of the Big Bad Secret Organization. And then I realize the dude after Kim at the airport works for them and wants to exchange Kim for Tony. Sure enough, they contact Jack and put Kim up on the webcam, sitting innocently at the airport. Most boring webcam ever. BUT HOW DID THEY KNOW TO FOLLOW HER!? I mean, really, Contingency Plan No. 57,480 in full effect.

In other news, it turns out that Olivia's hired gun middleman told the hired gun that Olivia was "good for it" and authorized the killing of Jon Voight! And now she has to pay up! And there's a Justice Department investigation. HAHA! I like watching this girl crap her pants.

Aaron knows there's a voice-activated recording system in the Chief of Staff's office (terribly convenient) and calls the former Chief of Staff to ask him to come and... I don't know... erase it or publicize it? Either way, Olivia hits the "Execute" button and pays the assassin. She's in deep doo-doo.

Next week: Two-hour finale! Tony turns the tables on Jack... and turns him into a super soldier!!

B&C Trailer of the Week

Gamer. Oh yeah, I'm definitely watching this S. It's Death Race meets Gladiator meets major ass kicking and crashes. Nice.

Last Dollhouse Ever?

I hope this isn't the last Dollhouse ever. But it's a long shot that it'll be renewed, so I'm not really holding out hope.

When we last left the Dollhouse, Alpha took off with Echo, after imprinting her as his girlfriend. He also takes all of Echo's imprints. They're off Bonnie & Clyde-ing, and Alpha's got a multiple personality thing going (48 personalities, to be exact). They kidnap a chick, strap her into Alpha's homemade imprinting chair, and imprint her with Caroline's original personality.

Then Alpha imprints Echo with a combination of every imprint she's ever been. But that backfires, when Echo attacks him instead of the other woman. They have a nice fight, as is customary on this show, ending when Alpha shoots the other woman in the neck. His psycho-killer goal is to imprint women all over America with Caroline's personality and then cut them up and kill them.

In flashback, it's revealed that Dr. Saunders was once an Active named Whiskey, paired up with Alpha for some hot bloodplay threesome action. OH SNAP! I didn't see that coming at all. Alpha became obsessed with Echo, and cut up Whiskey's face in Bonsai class when he wanted Echo to be the #1 Doll. He then goes on a violent rampage, poking out his Handler's eyes and killing the old doctor.

Before becoming an Active, Alpha was a criminal named Karl Kraft, imprisoned for attempted murder and on his way to becoming a serial killer. Agent Helo and Awesome Handler track down one of his victims and get the location of Alpha's hideout. It's an old nuclear power plant, which is pretty much the coolest hideout ever.

Agent Helo saves Echo, and the Caroline imprint, but Alpha is still on the loose. Helo strikes a deal - he'll work for the Dollhouse if they let November/Mellie/his old fat girlfriend free.

That was a really good episode, but it'd be better if it wasn't the last.

Happy Mother's Day

Another classic from The Greatest Host of Saturday Night Live ever, Mr. Justin Timberlake.

Babies

Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough welcomed a new boy into his life on Wednesday: his son.

He and his wife of two years introduced their first child, James Hoke Dorough, to the world Wednesday afternoon.

I guess he literally "loves the ladies". Go figure.

Also

Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire and his wife, Jennifer Meyer, welcomed their second child Friday, the actor's rep tells PEOPLE.

"I can confirm the Maguires had a baby boy today, and the family is healthy and happy," says rep Kelly Bush.

I eagerly anticipate the name.

B&C Food Review

Keep in mind, I eat Doritos like it's my job.

Very spicy, but they do taste like jalapeno poppers.


This deserves more than my usual 2-6 word review. HOLY CRAP THEY ARE AWESOME! You can really taste the beef, cheese, and LETTUCE! Seriously, I taste lettuce. It was like that scene in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where Violet Beauregarde tries that gum that tastes like a full meal. I was freaking out. Get them.

This Is Real

This is why I love having Paul Scheer as a Facebook friend. This movie came out in 2003 and it's just... um... cringe-worthy on so many levels. I never heard of it, but I need to see it. Watch this.

GARY OLDMAN!? THAT WAS GARY OLDMAN!?

Star Trek Was Awesome

Yeah, the movie kicked as much ass as I was hoping it would. The cast is perfect, the space porn is amazing, it has a great sense of realism. The sense of humor is off the charts, and there are lots of in-jokes and key lines from the show. I swear John Cho even had that Sulu smile at the end.

I was worried going in that I was going to be overdosed on lens flares. If you've seen the trailer and commercials, the lens flares are everywhere. But they didn't bother me. There are a couple places where they're over-the-top, but they really did fit. They made space seem bright and shiny, and too-huge to be captured on film. It was a nice touch.

And, being a J.J. Abrams production, there's even a Slusho reference.

I saw it Thursday at 8:00 and I was troubled by the fact that there were only 30 people in the theater. Don't get me wrong, it was lovely because I was expecting it to be way crowded. But does this not bode well for the weekend box office? Or maybe people have lives. Yeah, that must be it.

The Duel II

Brad and Tori's fighting is as lame as they are. Good luck with that, guys.

Why was Isaac growing out his toenails for 6 months? For fun? I mean, I've done it, sure, but only because I've forgotten to cut them - not on purpose. Also, is Isaac learning disabled, a redneck, or both?

For once, the Challenge was very cool - the guys had to hold the girls by the hands to keep them from bungee-falling down a crevasse. The fall looked insane, and it's gotta be hella hard to hang onto someone like that. It looked terrifying.

Winners: Mark and Rachel.

Last picked: Isaac and Ruthie.

Isaac chooses Landon - because he cut Isaac's dirty toenails against his will. Seriously. Landon creams him. Bye bye, idiot.

Ruthie chooses Racist Kim. Diem is afraid Ruthie's going to pull out jujitsu? Maybe Diem's the racist. Surprisingly, Kim wins. Oh well. Ruthie didn't really have any friends in this game anyway.

Star Trek Is Going To Be Good

Hopefully I can see it tonight. It's gonna be money! The horror!

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

B&C Hot Dude of the Week

Brooke Hogan is a dude, right? And she's 42, not 21, right? Yesterday someone asked me if I was a high school intern. Nice to know I look younger than this bitch.

Lost: More Mind-Effing

A. Bloody Penguins.

B. Lost.

Daniel's still dead. Charles kicks Jack and I cheer. Made his face all bloody and everything. Nicely done.

30 Years Later... and Richard still looks the same damn age. Richard tells Locke and Sun that he remembers Jack & Company coming to the Island 30 years ago, and he remembers because he watched them all die. Locke asks to see Jacob, but first he leads Ben and Richard to the heroin plane. Then he tells Richard what to say to the past version of Locke that comes traipsing through the jungle (you know, when he was shot and Richard told him to come back to the Island). My head is spinning as Locke watches Richard and Past Locke have their conversation and then Past Locke disappears. Once they're back at the beach, Locke addresses all of the Others and tells them he's going to see Jacob, and wants everyone to come with him. I'd be all, No thanks, you go talk to the invisible creepy dude, I'll just stay here on the beach and get some sun.

I still don't really get the timelines here and how the time travel works, but since Rule No. 1 on this show is "Jack is always right" I just have to accept what he says. He kind-of-explains things to Daniel's mother and 70s-Richard and tells them they need to detonate the bomb. Kate wants to go back to the village because she no likey nuclear bombs, and when one of the Others moves to kill her, Sayid shows up and sharp-shoots the bastard.

Sawyer is being questioned by the Dharmas, and punched a lot. Phil punches Juliet square in the face in an effort to get Sawyer to talk. This is one violent episode.

Dr. Chang catches Jin, Miles, and Hurley trying to escape the village. He believes they're from the future, and plans to evacuate the Island as Daniel had instructed. Sawyer and Juliet board a sub to leave with everyone else. Sawyer plans to escape Dharma's clutches once in Ann Arbor, and make a lot of money betting on Super Bowls and buying Microsoft. He and Juliet are lovey and happy... and that's when Kate boards the sub. Oops. Third wheel alert!

The sub departs (though next week they're back on the Island), and Jack, 70s-Richard & Company arrive at the bomb. "Now what?" asks Daniel's mother. Exactly.

The episode ends with Locke leading his people like Moses, down the beach to Jacob. Locke tells Ben that he plans to kill Jacob. That seems like a bold move, but I don't really know what it means.

My Favorite Show

Time for another edition of the greatest 3-minute talk show ever - Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis. This time featuring Natalie Portman and a dog. Brilliance.

Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

Jack Bauer Does Not Negotiate With Fashion Designers

Look, if Jack did it, the guy deserved it. I sure hope this doesn't mess with his probation though.

Fashion designer Jack McCollough, who was allegedly headbutted by Kiefer Sutherland at a party in lower Manhattan early Tuesday morning, is slamming reports that he provoked the actor.

"Anyone who knows Jack McCollough knows that he would not hurt a fly," a rep for McCollough, of the New York-based fashion empire Proenza Schouler, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "All we can say at this point is that he was the victim of a vicious, violent, unprovoked assault and that the matter is in the hands of the authorities."

One report claims that McCollough bumped into fellow party guest Brooke Shields, prompting Sutherland to get physical with the designer. New York's Daily News reports that McCollough – a friend of Shields's – interrupted her and Sutherland while they were speaking outside the SoHo nightspot SubMercer and that Sutherland then allegedly headbutted McCollough after the two men exchanged words.

But one guest at the event tells PEOPLE that the altercation came as a surprise to bystanders. "Jack walked into the party and tried to order a drink, and then the next thing he knew, he got headbutted for no identifiable reason," the partygoer tells PEOPLE. "Jack did nothing other than walk into a party. He did not bump into Brooke. It's just puzzling.”

According to an NYPD spokesperson, the incident, which occurred around 2 a.m., is under investigation.

Sutherland's lawyer, Blair Berk, had no comment.

Fringe

Freak of the Week: Woman freaks out on bus, woman spontaneously combusts into flames.

Lt. Daniels tasks everyone with establishing a link between William Bell and the ZFT terrorist organization. Walter determines that Bell's typewriter was used to write the ZFT manifesto. Also, there's a missing chapter, which he finds in the end.

Olivia keeps having visions. Like, full-blown hallucinations. Mike thinks she's seeing alternate realities, and so does Walter. Mike's smart I guess. His theory is that ZFT is working on bioweapons to fight a war in another dimension, and it looks to be correct.

There was a nice sequence of Star Trek in-jokes/cross-promotion with a conspiracy nut played by Clint Howard. He claims that Bell is activating the super-soldiers he experimented on when they were children. But then he also claims to be Spock.

They find the firestarter woman's twin sister, determine that the douchebag internal affairs guy from a couple weeks back is a bad guy, and then the twin sister activates and burns him up. R.I.P. Douchebag Guy.

Olivia asks Walter questions about the childhood experiments, and he cries, saying he doesn't remember what they were preparing for, but that something bad is coming. MY POOR BABY!!!! WALTER, I LOVE YOU! Pacey comforts him and holds his hand and I melt into a pile of goo on the couch.

At the end, The Observer shows up in Walter's lab and says, "It's time to go." Walter follows him. Season finale next week? Noooo! I'm not prepared to give up my show yet! Well, at least it got renewed, unlike half of my other shows.

Walter's Line of the Day: "A myth is just an unverified fact."

Walter's Food Craving of the Week: Frankenberry cereal. It helps him think. Awesome.

This week's code: VISION.

Fringe Fan Freaks The Eff Out

Holy crap! My friend Bobby Z. sent me a signed Fringe poster and I'm officially geeking out over it. I already have it framed and everything.

Well, I had to get it framed because I was licking the signatures and they were starting to bleed. For the record, John Noble wins the signature-licking contest over Joshua Jackson. Sorry, Anna Torv, you're cool and all, but no licking for you.

As an added bonus, Fringe is on tonight so I can awkwardly hug my poster while watching the show. And the picture stands for the letter "L" as in loser love.

Maybe I'll print a copy of my construction company's screenshot and put it in the corner. Because I'm a dork! Thanks again, Rob!

P.S. It's hard to take a picture of a framed poster. Really hard.

B&C Food Review

Tastes like Pepsi to me!

It's the End of the World

I couldn't care less about the Tonys. But this nomination sure caught my attention

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical
David Alvarez, Trent Kowalik, and Kiril Kulish, Billy Elliot, The Musical
Gavin Creel, Hair
Brian d’Arcy James, Shrek The Musical
Constantine Maroulis, Rock of Ages
J. Robert Spencer, Next to Normal

Oh holy night, first the swine flu now this. APOCALYPSE!

24

A. Go Caps! Again. Some more. I like the hockey/24 combo we have working here the last 2 weeks.

B. 4:00 - 5:00 AM.

Tony and his Gang are working on framing the Random Brown Guy, making it look like he's a terrorist. RBG is forced to record an extremist speech, and he convinces his brother that he's a terrorist. Tony tells him that if he cooperates, he and his brother could live. What? How in the hell would that work? The dude obviously has to die or he'd tell the truth. The way I see it, his choices are 1) die in the attack or 2) sit by quietly while he's put on trial. I don't get how "You'll survive this" is a plausible statement. And then how do you leave the brother alive? He saw the Gang, he could identify them.

Jack has Chloe track down every Muslim in the Washington DC area. Every one. Racial profile much? Jack says it has to be done - and it's not that bad because Jon Voight said a Muslim was going to be used. So the racial profile has already been made for him, no blood on his hands.

Chloe finds out Jack's dying and quietly loses her S before sacking up and getting back to work. Poor Chloe. Jack sure is using a LOT of that anti-seizure medication. I hope it doesn't have any side effects or anything. It'd be great if next season he had to stop off for dialysis or something because he busted up his kidneys.

Chloe digs up the false information that Tony's Gang planted on RBG. Jack visits the Muslim leader in the dude's file and stands a centimeter from his face while claiming he's not threatening him. While they head to RBG's house, Chloe determines that everything in RBG's file has been backdated.

Olivia tells that dude she called last week that Jon Voight is behind everything, and that he's going into Witness Protection within the hour. (I love that they can arrange Witness Protection at 4 in the morning. Why wait for business hours when you can give a guy a new identity instantly?) I thought maybe that dude was a reporter or something but it soon becomes evident that he's a hired gun. Olivia's about to transfer money to the assassin when Aaron comes-a-knocking with word her Daddy wants to see her. That's enough to make her rethink things. Daddy's Girl.

For the 60th time today, the President neglects her Presidential duties, visiting her husband's bedside. Don't you have some terrorists to negotiate with or something?

R.I.P. Jon Voight, as the car he's transferred to explodes. Oops. Looks like Olivia's gonna owe somebody a quarter of a million dollars.

THE METRO!!! It looks like they're targeting the Metro! And oh crap Jack catches Tony next week. I'm going to DIE!

FYI, the Metro opens at 5 AM. It just now turned 5. And there are already people in the station. Good to know 24 is still stretching things, even with the move to DC.

Sadface of the Week

Dammit, NBC canceled Life. Crap. I liked that show. Where am I supposed to turn now for hot ginger action? CSI: Miami? I don't think so.

Worst of all, they're making me wait for news on Chuck. No decision on that until May 19. WTF, NBC, WTF?

Keep Getting Modeling Jobs!

Remember how I have a co-editor? Yeah, me neither. But I do. And he just sent me this breaking news. Anyone look familiar in this picture?



Yep, it's that boring dude from The Real World: Brooklyn. I'll bet he was told he'd be modeling on a couch with 2 hot chicks and assumed it'd be a sexy, shirtless shoot. Instead, it's a sexy, Snuggie shoot.


Article

Dollhouse

Echo's sent to deal with a troubled kid. Her imprint is the adult version of the troubled girl so that she can connect with her and help her. That's a lovely little nonprofit assignment. See, the Dollhouse might force people into what is essentially sex slavery, but it isn't all bad.

Victor is imprinted as Former Security Head Close-Eyes. He's good too - really has that dude's mannerisms and stuff. I loved it! They use him to open a file with some clues about Alpha.

Agent Helo rejects Mellie and then follows her when she is taken back to the Dollhouse by her Handler. He doesn't go in, but he tracks down the engineer who designed the self-contained/self-sufficient building. The engineer is weird and paranoid... and grows a lot of pot. A lot of pot.

The engineer gets them into the Dollhouse. Agent Helo tasers the Hot Geek and frees Echo from her sleep pod. But her old Handler is right behind him with a gun. They have a nice fight. They always have some goddamn good fights on this show.

Turns out the engineer isn't really the engineer. He's Alpha, and he killed the engineer and took his place. And when the Doctor and Victor walk in on him, he slashes up Victor's face. He nabs Echo, imprints her with someone, and makes out with her. To be continued.

Prison Break

Michael's mixing a bunch of stuff together. That can't be good. He's also wearing a cable-knit sweater in Miami, and there aren't even any tattoos to hide anymore. He's so weird.

He ends up putting the chemical compound into the air vents of the Bad Guys' car. When the Bad Guys leave their car in coughing fits, Michael picks up his mother and throws her in the trunk. Happy Mother's Day! My pregnant girlfriend and I are duct taping you to a chair and interrogating you! You're welcome!

Mom reveals that Michael and Lincoln aren't really brothers. Oh good - they can have sex then, yes? What the hell, show? Why not just let them stay brothers? Up is down and black is white on this show. So big deal, Lincoln was adopted. They were still raised as brothers, that doesn't mean suddenly Michael is keen to betray him. All it means is that Mom doesn't hide her contempt for Lincoln. In fact, she essentially calls him a big, dumb ape no fewer than 3 times.

Michael drags his mom into the bathroom and threatens to drown her in the bathtub until she tells him where to find Scylla. He leaves, leaving Sara to watch over Mom. Mom seems to have Michael's gift for MacGruber-ing things, and rigs dental floss and a door stop to escape.

The General gives Lincoln and his boys one day to find Scylla. And he gives T-Bag instructions to kill Lincoln once he returns with it. He also tells T-Bag to kill the scientist dude they were questioning, which he does.

Everyone converges on the hotel where they're holding the energy conference. Lincoln heads inside and watches as the Indian Prime Minister's son is assassinated. Mahone and Michael Rapaport find their passports in a getaway car, determining that it's a trap. They've all been framed for the murder. Big deal, I say.

There are 2 more episodes? What? I thought there was just one, dammit.

Wolverine Was Good Enough For Me

I'm into Hugh Jackman's body. There, I said it. Sometimes it's all the entertainment you need. Luckily, there's enough going on in X-Men Origins: Wolverine besides that, in case you're not as into it. But face it - you know you are. It's on point, people. On point.

ANYWAY, the movie is just as entertaining as any of the other X-Men movies. If you don't need anything besides fighting and superpowers, you're good. And that's all I need. Liev Schreiber is kickass as Sabretooth too - I really liked him.

This was a good kickoff movie for the summer season. Light, fluffy, special effects, biceps. It's just going to get better from here on out. This summer is going to be great!

G.I. Joe Might Be Better Than Transformers 2

Look, no one loves the first Transformers movie more than I do. No one. But the trailer for the sequel looks lame. Talking to Bumblebee about college? Megan Fox humping a motorcycle? But then one of the machine transforms and all is well.

Link to Transformers 2 trailer. G.I. Joe trailer below, which looks like crap, but interesting crap.

G.I. JOE trailer in HD

NEVER

Never. Going to. Happen.

This is the new Ledge at the Sears Tower in Chicago, which extends 4.3 feet beyond the side of the building. Beneath peoples’ feet lies the sprawling Illinois city - 103 storeys, or 1,353 feet, below. Just an inch-and-a-half of glass separates the visitor from the street underneath. The attraction is due to open in June.

Seriously, click on the picture for a really HQ version. It gives me douchechills and makes me feel a little ill.
Source

B&C Food Review

They're awesome.

The Duel II

Jenn's faux-lesbian drama bores me. Was she always bisexual, or just now when the cameras are on? Jenn sprains her shoulder and the doctor advises her not to compete. Jenn's smarter than doctors I guess, because she decides to stay.

Challenge: run, drive a luge, and solve a puzzle, all while wearing a giant bobblehead. Evan's giant bobblehead was the funniest bobblehead for sure.

Katie and Eric crack me up because they're so out of shape, but they always partner together. They didn't even make it to the puzzle stage! LOL!

Winners: Landon and Brittini.

Last picked: Jenn and Nehemiah (no!). Nehemiah picks Evan (who's a bitch about it - seriously, Evan, I used to like you a lot) and Jenn picks Katie.

Bye-bye: Nehemiah (Evan was hilariously spastic during the Duel, but somehow pulled it out) and Katie (I guess Jenn does know more than her doctor).

Iron Man 2: Yeah, That Looks About Right

Such a revealing first look! It could be a still from the first movie, I wouldn't know the difference. Which, really, that's what you want in a sequel.