Project Runway

First impressions: I love A.J. badly. I like Ivy (I have to, since she's the Asian Girl, but she needs to watch that personality) and Gretchen. I love McKell's name and the fact that she's a hippie from Utah. And I love that she left a 9-month-old baby at home. Can't let that stop you from being on a reality show! Christopher's a hotsie hotsie. I don't like Jason, Casanova, and Valerie.

Challenge: Use an item from a fellow designer's suitcase in your look - and make it in 5 hours.

Tim introduces us to the Brother Sewing Room, so named because it is outfitted with Brother brand sewing machines. Whew. For a second there, I thought he was trying to say only black guys could use the sewing room.

Casanova drapes his model in a barely-there scarf dress and the judges freak out at the vulgarity. LOL of the Show: Michael Kors calls Casanova's model a pole dancer in Dubai. He's right - take a look.



Winner: Gretchen. It was a beautiful dress, and she made cute flutter sleeves out of the beaded top she had to use.



There are 6 people in the bottom, though I'd say only about 3 are god-awful (Jason, Casanova, April).

Bye-bye: McKell (Damn!). That's bull that she left and Casanova didn't. Boo. Oh well, at least I got a new Favorite Girl's Name out of it.

SYTYCD: Results

Cat's got serious bed hair happening, along with a short hot-pink dress. I prefer Classy Cat.

Bottom 3: Jose, Billy (who deserves to be there for that pink scarf he has tied around his neck - no seriously, what is that?), and Lauren.

ROBERT NEEDS TO STOP WITH THE FAUX-SHOCK WHEN HE'S SAFE! Seriously, Mike just cursed him out. And Mike doesn't usually care enough to curse people out.

You know what was cool? Seeing Lil C dance among the Step Up 3-D dancers. Cuz C is BUCK.

So 2 people have to go home, and at this point I hope Lauren stays. She's not just the only girl - she's been so good lately and her solos have KILLED.

Bye-bye: Jose and Billy. It's tough to see Billy go, but it had to happen that way. Too androgynous for America, eh Nigel? I think it was the combined forces of all the zits on Jose and Billy that finally overwhelmed America. Or maybe the fact that their skin finally cleared up.

Mark Wahlberg Has A Million Kids

And they're all cute!!

Top Chef: DC

Quickfire Challenge: Make food served on a toothpick -- because there's a toothpick rule when it comes to lobbying, wherein Congressmen can't be treated to a meal unless it's food served on a toothpick. So the goal is to make the best thing you can in a small package like that. I like this one! I like little foods!

I want the chicken and waffle Andrea made. I wonder if she serves that for brunch.... The winner is Douchebag Angelo. His shrimp/cucumber thing did look good, but that doesn't mean he's not a douchebag.

Elimination Challenge: Take over The Palm for a power lunch. They're using amazing Palm proteins, like 4-pound lobsters. There was so much damn lobster meat and steak everywhere. It's making me want to go to The Palm; it's better than a commercial.

There's a minor scuffle over some pea puree. Seems Ed made it for his dish the day before, and then it went missing -- and suddenly Ugly Alex had pea puree. So everyone thinks he stole it. That's cruddy.

Ed and Alex are both among the Top 3, and the judges jizz themselves over Alex's pea puree. Winner: Alex. But no one actually confronts him about the thievery, or tells the judges. So I guess they'll just passive-aggressively deal with it, then? Throw someone under the bus, dammit, this is Top Chef!

The people in the bottom had overly-seasoned, over-cooked, and salty as hell food. Bye-bye: Andrea. DAGGER! That's my girl from Miami. I don't feel like she was all that great on this show though. But as long as there is good ceviche at her restaurant, I'll still go.

SYTYCD: Performances

Billy has a brace on his knee this week, as if to say, "See? I wasn't faking! My knee totes hurts!" Liar.

Kent and Anya - Cha Cha by Jean-Marc Généreux. They've already done a Cha Cha together, and this one was just as inappropriate as the other. Because she looks 40 and he looks 12. It was fine. Anya looked SUPER weird -- her hair was awful and was her shirt supposed to come off? Because it seemed like the kind of costume layer that was meant to come off. Who knows.

Robert and Kathryn - Contemporary by Stacey. Haven't they already danced together 100 times too? It's OK though, they're pretty. It's a piece about going off to war - and at the end there was a twist when Kathryn is revealed to be the soldier. Duh, gays aren't allowed in the military. I didn't really feel it though - whether it was because of the choreography or the crappy Belinda Carlisle cover song, I don't know for sure. It was alright.

Adechike and Courtney - Jazz by Tyce. Not that I know what I'm talking about, but it didn't seem very jazzy to me. Other than that it was set to jazz music. It was a fun routine though. Courtney killed it, as usual.

Jose and Comfort - Hip Hop. It was a weird, slow, old song, but it worked. It should have fit Jose well with that kind of easy, cool style, but I didn't buy it 100%. As usual, Jose falls short.

Lauren and Allison - Broadway by Tyce. Oooo this should be great. And it was. They're both such great dancers, it was fun. It was a really fast-paced Broadway routine, it was kind of crazy and all over the place, but Lauren was really strong and great.

Billy and Ade - Contemporary by Stacey. It was another case of "too much damn story" (Stacey loves those) - with a homeless message this time - but they were great. Ade is so big and strong while Billy is smaller and has such great lines. It was pretty great, maybe the most mature Billy has been.

Jose and Kent - Broadway. It didn't do Jose any favors comparing the two side-by-side. But he was helped a little by the choreography, where they were 2 different character types. Still, when they were doing identical movements, Jose wasn't great. I liked how he did it, just he's nothing compared to Kent. The judges patted Jose on the head like a child, telling him he kept up just fine.

Lauren and Adechike - Foxtrot by Jean-Marc Généreux. It was really great. The judges had some problems with the technique, but I thought it was fabulous from a spectator's perspective. Lauren's so sparkly and graceful.

Billy and Robert - Bollywood. That was really cool. I thought they were pretty equally matched actually! Robert really seemed to have those hands down perfectly. Fun times.

Two people out tomorrow. I'll bet Jose and Adechike. But just as they're signing off -- Cat mentions that Lauren is with the medic. OH HOLY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! If Lauren's out, I'm out. We've lost too many good ones this year. Jesus.

Long Live Pacey

You have NO IDEA how upset I am that I missed Pacey-Con this year. Actually, you probably do have some idea. I had friends trying to make sure I didn't jump off a bridge after finding out about it.....

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson from Joshua Jackson

Top Chef: DC

Michelle Bernstein is our guest judge this week. I've been to both of her restaurants down in Miami and LOVE them.

Quickfire Challenge: Make a dish with exotic proteins. "Exotic" meaning "hella gross." This is the kind of crap my friend's going to make me eat when we go to London in September. (Actually, the kind of crap he's going to make me watch him eat. I'll just have water, thanks.)

Just to complicate matters further, halfway through their prep time, they have to move to the station next to them and take over that protein. Look, it was hard enough as it was, why did we need to make it even worse? Everything looked nasty. Winner: Kelly and her emu egg omelet, which was by far the most normal thing there.

Elimination Challenge: Make a cold dish. OH GOD, IT'S A COLD WAR PUN! I guess we really can expect a political pun every goddamn week. Oy. The dishes have to be served to fellow competitors for their judgment as well. You know, cuz of that time Gorbachev had to taste Reagan's chicken soup at the Berlin Wall.

The contestants are pretty brutal about the dishes, while the real judges keep their opinions to themselves. Except for the time people were mentioning a need for acidity and Tom was like, "Did you not see the lemon on the plate?"

Smooth Brother No. 1 was chosen as the loser of Group 1. HATERS!

Winner: Smooth Brother No. 3, Kevin.

Bye-bye: Tamesha. Thank God it was her and not Kenny! I totally guessed it would be her though - you could tell in her interviews that she had been crying. And why else would she be crying.

Avengers Assemble!

At Comic-Con, Robert Downey, Jr. is king and he knows it. This was the biggest moment at Comic-Con last night (aside from the stabbing. Yes, a nerd stabbed another nerd in the eye with a pen.).

If you enjoy 5000 simultaneous nerdgasms like I do, you'll enjoy this footage of the casting announcement for The Avengers. Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye? Thank you, Jesus! I'm all in. See you there next year, fellas.

Salt Made Me Salty

I love me some Angelina Jolie, but I still didn't love Salt. How disappointing. It's not like it's a total waste of time, but I just wasn't feeling it. I think the movie's trying to be Jason Bourne with a vagina, but the story kind of sucks and I think that's the main problem I had with it. I just didn't care about Salt or what happened to her, so there wasn't any real tension. The stunts were fun, but a little crazy and unrealistic. And My Girl kicks ass and get in some nice kills, but overall it's not a must-see.

I think Inception has ruined all other movies for me.

SYTYCD: Results

The group performance was a really great jazz number. You know who wasn't missing? Jose. Seriously, where the eff was Jose?? I love how they just keep him out of things entirely. Can he leave tonight already?

Bottom 3: Billy, by rule. Jose and Robert because Jose sucks and Robert is annoying.

For our Best Of routine we got Lauren and Neil. Yay for Neil in guyliner, that always makes me happy. Jose actually put some effort into his solo again - he really is doing much better in his own style of dance.

The judges decided no one was going home this week, and instead 2 people would go home next week. Well thanks, I just wasted a half hour fast-forwarding through this nonsense for nothing. I guess they decided that mostly because Billy elected to sit out. So if they let him go through it would be setting a precedent that you can take a week off if you feel like it. Hmmmm. It still kind of sets that precedent, doesn't it? Eh, whatever, I'm just pissed I sat through this. At least I got some Neil action.

I Miss Comic-Con, But Not Tron

I'm not at Comic-Con this year, for the first time in 3 years. It's by choice, because we wanted to spend the time and money elsewhere this year, but now I miss it. I know that instead of bemoaning what I'm missing (Angelina Freaking Jolie! Probably the entire goddamn cast of The Avengers! A complete and total lack of Twilight panel!) I need to concentrate on the things that suck - lack of sleep, getting up at 4 AM, endless lines, lack of proper nutrition, crazy-ass crowds of people. Then again, those are the fun parts too.

But you know what I'm OK with missing? The Tron: Legacy panel. I just don't get it. Mike loves Tron and this movie has been featured in some way at Comic-Con both years we were there. Here's the trailer. I still don't get it. Since Mike's obsessed, I'll be watching the original before we go see this in December, but it seems really hard to get through - so freaking outdated and ridiculous. We'll see.

Anyway, I'm quite sure there was a collective nerdgasm in Hall H today when this was shown.

SYTYCD: Performances

It's time to play Guess Who Was Injured This Week! The answer? Billy Bell! It's a knee injury, and even though the doctors said he could dance, he decided not to. Pussy quitter. Jesus Christ, this season is cursed. Why is this happening? I guess the winner will just be the last dancer standing. This also means we're even more desperate to fill 2 hours. Yay fast-forward button.

Lauren and Twitch - Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. It was a cool routine and Lauren was awesome! She's good at hip hop - I really like her. Good thing, since she's the last girl. I mean, what was with those somersault type things she did? Insane!

Jose and Allison - Contemporary by Sonya. I'm thankful for a Sonya routine, but doubtful Jose can pull this off. Well, the routine was weird. Jose was sitting on the edge of the stage the whole time. Like, the whole time!!! There was no dancing. He just didn't do much. I'm pretty sure I could have done his part. Once again, they treat Jose with kid gloves. Oy.

Robert and Lauren - Jazz by Tyce. Robert pretends to be sexually interested in Lauren. How cute. It was a good piece and he was excellent. As long as he's not talking, it's all good.

Kent and Kathryn - Jazz by Sonya. Oh yay we actually have 2 talented dancers take on a Sonya routine! It was a more cheery, upbeat routine than we're used to getting from Sonya. They were great - but I was mostly watching Kathryn because she's so amazing.

Adechike and Comfort - Lyrical Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. It was a cool routine and he was great, but I was really in awe of Comfort. She wasn't this awesome during her season. She's grown a lot and maybe it's because we only see her doing her style now, but she rules. Adechike was great though and got a lot of passion in there - he was crying, it was crazy. Well done.

Robert and Lauren - Samba. It was great, really high-energy and fun. They make a really nice pairing. Lauren's really great.

Adechike and Jose - Paso Doble. Whoa. Same sex Paso Doble. Two shirtless men dancing together. Yessssss. It was really cool, but Adechike out-danced Jose. They both definitely had the attitude and did the characters well, but Adechicke > Jose.

Kent and (not Billy) - Stepping. Oh god - these white boys are going to do stepping? I don't care, I love stepping, I'll take it. Billy, of course, was hurt so Twitch steps in. YAY - now that's what I'm talking about. I think Kent was good though - kind of played off the whole whitebread thing. It worked. If he wasn't so gosh-darn, golly-gee ADHD annoying, I might like him more.

Man, if Billy goes home this week we're stuck with Jose again. He's gotten waaaay farther that he should have already.

Very Good!

Nothing like Dora the Explorer taking on Inception - I'm sorry, Incepción. No spoilers or anything - but it's funny as hell.

Incepción from Electric Spoofaloo on Take180.com

The Town Trailer

I am really looking forward to this movie. Jon Hamm AND Jeremy Renner? God does exist!! Plus I thought Ben Affleck was fat but noooo - we get bonus Ben Affleck Abs! And all with Boston accents. Excuse me while I go curl up and die.

Inception: Holy Crap

Inception was one of my most eagerly-anticipated movies of the year. The trailer was amazing with amazing music, the visuals looks great, and it's a Christopher Nolan film. I was even willing to overlook my general dislike for Leonardo DiCaprio to see it. I've been on Severe Media Blackout for any commercials or articles or reviews - I didn't want to accidentally learn anything about the movie. Well, I'm beyond thrilled to say the movie lived up to my expectations, and probably exceeded them. It was an amazing film, and I often couldn't believe what I was seeing.

The movie is about creating dreams and it's also so much like a dream. Concepts introduced in the film are pretty much how the movie itself plays out. The main part of the film involves building a dream within a dream within a dream, and I found myself forgetting where the real world of the movie was. I couldn't remember how I got there, much as you can't remember how you ended up somewhere in a dream.

I don't know if I've ever been so fully immersed in a movie before. Again, much like a dream, it was complex and bizarre - surreal and yet understandable at the same time. It felt both long and short. When I walked out of the theater I found myself losing my balance, quite literally hitting the wall beside me. It definitely throws you off.

I also can't remember if I've ever been in a packed theater that quiet before. Everyone was riveted. After what was simply the most amazing, gravity-defying fight scene ever, the audience erupted into applause. It was like we couldn't believe what we just saw.

The visual style of the film is awesome. Everyone's dressed up with slicked-back hair, architecture plays a huge role in the film -- man, I just loved it. And the ending is quite perfect, ending just as a dream would, making you want more.

Now that I've seen Inception, I want to know everything about it. I want to know how they made it and I definitely plan to see it again.

Christopher Nolan (who wrote and directed) is a genius and if he doesn't get some Oscar recognition for creating this amazing universe, the world can go screw. And one last thing: Joseph Gordon-Levitt is hot as balls and amazing in this. He's come a long way since 3rd Rock From the Sun.

SYTYCD: Results

Cat is very, very bright yellow tonight. My eyes!!! That dress is also very short, and I'm hoping for an upskirt. We didn't get one though, even when she was arm-wrestling an 11-year-old boy on stage. Yep, you read that right.

Bottom 3: Ashley, by rule. Billy, which I guess is understandable. Jose, which is BEYOND understandable. Still no word on Ashley's injury, I mean we haven't even seen the bitch in the audience, so I'm guessing she's bad off and she'll have to go.

Comfort and Twitch Hip Hip was our Best-Of routine tonight. Good times!

Jose's solo was amazing, so I was pleasantly surprised. Ashley doesn't come out until the end, so I guess she's not dead after all! But her doctors say she needs weeks of rest.

Bye-bye: Ashley. They're doing it for her, so she has time to recover, and can do the tour. But it's a shame because Ashley was really getting good. So we're down to one chick, just like I thought we'd be.

Top Chef: DC

Quickfire Challenge: Blue crabs! Hell yes! I love me some crabs, but don't really love the whole slicing-a-live-crab-in-half thing. Ed wins with his Thai-inspired dish. This offends Smooth Brother #2, who is from Baltimore and therefore a crab purist.

Elimination Challenge: Create a meal at a local farm - and they all have to work as one team, which isn't likely to end well. They kind of ended up splitting into pairs anyway. It was tough conditions cooking outside, but a lot of the food looked good. There were just a few boring dishes, nothing too tragic.

Winner: Kenny (Smooth Brother #1) and his curried eggplant. My man!

The lamest dishes were at the bottom - a salad, a soup, and some roasted turnips. Snooze!

Bye-bye: Tim (Smooth Brother #2). Yeah, he kind of sucked always.

SYTYCD: Performances

The dancers come out and I'm immediately all, "Where's Ashley!?" Oh god - another injury???? Yep, Ashley hurt her ribs and can't dance tonight. Oh holy Jesus, this really hasn't happened like this before. This show is killing people!!

Lauren and Mark - Tahitian Dance. Well, that's a new one. It was gimmicky, as all of those one-off cultural routines are. The costumes always seem to interfere. It was fine -- who knows what Tahitian dance is really supposed to look like. Lots of hip shaking, from what I can tell.

Adechike and Anya - Salsa. It was an ultra-hard routine, which doesn't do Adechike any favors when the judges' main complaint with him is that he looks like he's trying too hard. Indeed, he definitely looked like he was trying hard - and succeeding. He did a good amount of partnering, loads of lifts and twists and things.

Jose and Courtney - Broadway. It seemed like the shortest routine in history, and like nothing happened -- was there dancing involved? It was done to "Mr. Cellophane" and Jose was supposed to be invisible to showgirl Courtney. So what you have is them performing separately, and Jose performing with no personality. FAIL. You know what the judges treat Jose like? A retard. They always talk about how cute he is and how hard he tries. This isn't the Special Olympics. I like Jose a lot too, but he can't dance.

Robert and Allison - Contemporary by Travis Wall. The choreography was really pretty and I liked the part where it got fast and they were really in sync. The judges freaked out (of course they did - it was a "for my sick mother" routine) and Cat even got choked up. CAT NEVER TEARS UP! I think she's just trying to fill time.... But for reals -- Travis Wall is the best choreographer on the show now.

Billy and Anya - Jive. It was fine. For a second I almost thought Billy was into chicks. It was hard so it looked like he was trying hard. Meh, it was fine.

Kent and Neil - a Broadway baseball routine by Tyce. I love Neil with a passion so I'm kind of surprised I actually watched Kent and noticed he was good. They both have that athletic/gymnast style. It was a really nice match and they had great tricks and energy. Kent may have out-danced Neil by a bit, and that's hard for me to admit. Moving on.

Billy and Lauren - Jazz by Mandy Moore. I wasn't really feeling the routine. Mandy Moore's kind of been sucking it up lately, yes? It was fine. If anything, I liked Lauren more than Billy.

Jose and Dominic - B Boy routine by Tabitha & Napoleon. OK, so here's the problem -- Dominic is REALLY good and is going to pwn Jose. But I'm still excited for a good B Boy routine. Legacy even assisted in the rehearsals, and damn but I wish he would have performed. It was good, but you could totally tell how much better Dominic is. To me, Dominic has the great personality here, not Jose.

Kent and Adechike - Contemporary. Adechike insists on perpetuating the myth that Kent likes girls. It's cute. The routine was good, and the judges were actually complimentary of Adechike for once. But again, I'll say that Kent is a great dancer. There I said it.

Robert and Kathryn (substituting for Ashley) - Disco. Oh Christ, hammy-ass Robert is going to do disco. It was goofy fun, as all disco routines are. A couple of the lifts/drops were a bit stilted - but probably only because they were so difficult.

I don't know, I don't think I was really feeling the show tonight for some reason. It's sad when Kent is the dancer who really stood out to me. At least we had Travis's great routine to save the night.

Predators

Predators was awesome, yo! It was very Predator-y. The jungle setting, the scary aliens, the people trapped and being hunted -- all done really well. What else do you need? Adrien Brody is fabulous as an action hero. He's still got that big honkin nose and quirkiness, but now combined with a hot short haircut and some amazing arms and chestal regions. Damn.

I like guns, I like sci-fi, I like action, so I liked Predators. Good, clean, popcorn-movie fun. The end.

Top Chef: DC

Quickfire Challenge: Make a dish -- and a pureed version for babies. We find out that Smooth Brother #1's wife died when their daughter was a year old (she's now 16). I love Smooth Brother #1 even more now. The winners are Smooth Brother #1 and the Black Chick That Doesn't Suck.

Elimination Challenge: Design breakfast, lunch, and dinner dishes for Hilton to select for their hotels. They're doing it in pairs, tournament-style, and the losing duo goes home.

Round 1: Breakfast. Smooth Brother #1 made an egg on toast with prosciutto and manchego. Oh holy lord - I want to eat that! The crabcake Benedict looked effing amazing too - made by Smooth Brother #2 (from Baltimore - so that crabcake better be good!) and the Black Chick That Usually Sucks. That won, along with another dish, so they don't have to move on to lunch.

Round 2: Lunch. The scallops looked the bomb, and they won, along with something else.

Round 3: Dinner. We've only got 3 teams - 1) Smooth Brother #1 and #3, 2) My Girl Andrea and The Annoying Chick, and 3) The Gay Asian and the Old Chick. I like at least one person on each team, and don't want any of the teams to be booted. Damn.

Teams 1 and 2 both serve short ribs, and Team 3 serves curry mussels and fresh pasta. Both of the short ribs are good, and look really good too - I love me some short ribs!

Bye-bye: Lynn and Arnold. And as much as I found The Gay Asian entertaining, I REALLY didn't want Smooth Brother #1 gone. So that's a relief.

Mel Gibson's Finest Role

Well, here it is - the eagerly-anticipated audio. He just sounds like a nonsensical asshole. I'd love to see how he comes back from this. But then again, I still love Alec Baldwin.

SYTYCD: Results

I think I'm supposed to be excited that LeBron James is coming here to play. Instead, I'm nervous about whether Alex is too injured to continue.

Bottom 3: Alex, by rule. Billy. WHAT!? BILLY? Of all people? Ashley. WHAAAAAAAT TIMES TWO!? She had a great night too. This really sucks.

You know what I'm sick of? The judges making it all about them. Like Adam talking about the Oscars and - instead of starting with Billy's critique - being sure to thank his co-producer. Adam, don't start pissing me off. Mia tried to redeem herself by apologizing to Adechike. That was big of her - cuz she sure was turning into a Giant C. I don't think I accept it yet though. She needs to check herself before she wrecks herself.

Alex comes out at the end on crutches, and you just know it's not going to be good news. Bye-bye: Alex. This is the first time an injury took out someone major like this on this show. He has a lacerated Achilles tendon. Bollocks. He has to rest for at least 3 months. Poor kid. Survives the Miami Ballet and gets injured on a TV show. They said he can come back next year. This is depressing. He could've won this thing. He should've won this thing. And now I won't be able to see his Hip Hop routine on the finale! Waaaaah!

Emmy Nominations

So I don't want to say that the Emmy nominations were crap this morning. But they were crap.

I hate Glee with a passion - and everyone in it - so the nominations for those people made me want to puke. Seriously, I don't know what it is, but Lea Michele makes me want to slit my wrists just looking at her. She annoys me, yet I've never really watched her. Go figure.

For Best Actress, the only lovely surprise was Amy Poehler for Parks & Recreation. There were a ton of random nominations for shows I don't watch.

Other than that - John Noble not being nominated for Fringe makes me want to tear my eyeballs out. The show only got nominated in some sound category. Excuse me while I go vomit.

Nominations here. GO MAD MEN!!!

SYTYCD: Performances

Everyone dances twice tonight - once with an All-Star and once with a co-contestant. Everyone except for Alex. He was injured yesterday - and they think it's a ruptured Achilles tendon. Oh good lord -- if that's true that's really bad. His ass will be taken out by the doctors I bet. DAMN! Plus, Alex had drawn Bollywood with Adechike - that would have been cool.

Lauren and Pasha - Cha Cha by Jean-Marc Généreux. Um, she couldn't have been wearing fewer clothes. The chick was mostly naked - and this from the girl who almost had the boob pop out last week. It was fine - she was really good, but I hate Pasha, so I just get grossed out by him.

Jose and Lauren - Contemporary by Mandy Moore. He didn't really do anything. Seriously, she was doing all the work. He just stood there and kind of flowed with her sometimes, like they do on Dancing With the Stars. I like him and everything - I really do - but he's not that great of a dancer and he didn't seem to do much in that routine. The judges creamed themselves over him, because they're always nicer to Jose.

Kent and Comfort - Hip Hop by Dave Scott. Oh god this should be a nightmare. Farm Boy Hip Hop. They did him a favor by making the routine smooth rather than hard-hitting. He had a Justin Timberlake thing about him. It was fine. Hard-hitting would have been way worse.

Adechike and Courtney - Jazz by Mandy Moore. It looked like a really hard routine - lots of climbing on barstools. I was mostly focused on Courtney really. There didn't seem to be a lot of dancing though. Mia really slammed him, but it's not really his fault if the routine didn't call for dancing.

Billy and Katee - Broadway. Allison was injured, so Katee filled in - and it was awesome to see her again! I thought the routine was great and Billy was excellent. The style really fit him.

Ashley and Dominic - Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. It's been too long since we've seen Dominic. The routine was good and Ninja-y, and I thought Ashley was great. I was actually watching her - and this is the first time she really stood out to me. Loved it!

Robert and Kathryn - Jazz. Talk about 2 hotties dancing together - I'm excited! The routine looked hard, but something about it didn't grab me. The judges loved it though, and I'd swear she slipped at one point, but no one mentioned it. Wow, though, Robert is just as tall as Cat - that's gotta be a first!

Adechike - Bollywood with some Indian Chick because Alex is injured. It was a great, crazy routine, as all Bollywood routines are. Adechike was great and damn he had some great height on those jumps. Oy! But he got killed by the judges -- and Cat very astutely pointed out that the judges weren't as critical about Jose's Bollywood a few weeks back. GO CAT!!!!!! There's some weird favoritism going on there; the judges suck tonight. They're being brutal at the wrong times and Jesus they're just awful.

Kent and Lauren - Contemporary by Travis. The routine was AMAZING! It was really gorgeous and they were both great. Seriously, that routine was the bomb. And Farm Boy didn't bother me for once. I want to see that one again.

Robert and Ashley - Quickstep by Jean-Marc Généreux. The dreaded quickstep. It's hard for me to judge quickstep, but it looked good to me. And have I mentioned lately how hot Robert is in eyeliner and costumes? Cuz he's hot.

Jose and Billy - African Jazz. It was clear Billy was better - and I'd swear it almost seemed like he was holding himself back - but it was well done. Billy's leg extensions were just killing me. I didn't think Jose was powerful enough - again he just doesn't give everything. Or maybe he does, and that's all he has to give.

I'm gonna guess it's Adechike's time to go. Well, unless Alex leaving counts as an elimination. I want to put Adechike out of his misery; I feel so bad for him now when the judges murder him.

SYTYCD: Results

If there's any justice in the world, Melinda's gone tonight and Alex is named automatic Winner For Life. Cat's rocking the messy bedroom hair tonight. That black dress looks familiar though. Seriously, is she repeating outfits now? The horror!

Bottom 3: Billy, Robert, and Melinda. Well, Billy's flat-out BS, and maybe Robert's not awesome but have I mentioned lately that he's hot? That's OK, it just means Melinda's 100% guaranteed to leave, right? RIGHT!?

Courtney and Mark performed their brilliant Sonya routine tonight. I remembered it right away. Classic stuff.

Bye-bye: Melinda. Well, duhhhhhhhhhhh. Thank god. Now we're probably gonna start picking off some guys.

Top Chef: DC

Quickfire Challenge: Make a pie from scratch. Goddamn, I want some pie. None of that Curry Whiskey Apple Date Pie though, thanks. Smooth Brother No. 1 wins. Yay Kenny!

Elimination Challenge: Prepare a picnic for 150 Capitol Hill interns. They get to grill at Mount Vernon too. Awesome!

The Fat Chick alternately irritates and amuses me. She's utterly classless and belongs on Hell's Kitchen. But her freaking trailer-trash accent cracks me up. What a mess.

I love that Fish Guy thought his food was the bomb, but meanwhile it was one of the worst. Talk about an effed-up palette. Smooth Brother No. 2 has a ton of confidence too, but so far hasn't lived up to my expectations. I mean, since when can a brother not barbecue some damn pork ribs?

Winner: Fussy Gay Arnold and his lamb meatballs.

Bye-bye: Fat Chick a/k/a Tracey and her crappy-ass sausage burgers. She didn't even really try. At least I don't have to be irritated by her roughness anymore!

Audio Tape of the Year

Forget Christian Bale's raveout or Alec Baldwin calling his daughter a pig. THIS is the tape I want to hear. Mark my words -- "I am going to come and burn the f**king house down... but you will blow me first." is going to be this year's "rude, thoughtless little pig."

In one of the most explosive, racist and vile outbursts by a celebrity ever caught on tape, Mel Gibson told the mother of his love child that the way she was dressed would get her "raped by a pack of n***ers," RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

It's a shocking and blockbuster development in the couple's bitter legal battle, and Mel's disgusting words are on audio tape. His racist, misogynist statement is one of the secrets lurking in his war with his former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva.

RadarOnline.com has heard the tape, which also includes Mel telling Oksana he will burn down her home.

Drunken Mel previously shocked the world with his anti-Semetic comments when busted for DUI. Now, the new racist outburst has taken the Oscar winner to an even deeper low.

His outburst came during a series of explosive arguments with Oksana, mother of his infant daughter Lucia. They have been battling in court, with documents under seal, for the past several weeks.

And there is more than one disgusting outburst from Mel. RadarOnline.com has listened to the hate-fuelled rants the Braveheart star unleashed during fights with Oksana as their relationship unraveled.

"You're an embarrassment to me," Mel tells her at one point.

"You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault."

Mel's attorney told RadarOnline.com that he is no longer commenting on the case and said Mel's publicist is the only Mel official who will speak for him.

Mel's profane outbursts are littered with references to Oksana being a "whore" and "c**t".

In another tirade, Mel tells Oksana: "How dare you act like such a bitch when I have been so f**king nice."

He warns, "I am going to come and burn the f**king house down... but you will blow me first."

The emergence of the explicit tapes is a stunning development in the couple's bitter separation and court battle over custody of their young daughter.

RadarOnline.com first broke the story about how Mel, 54, and Oksana, 40, filed dueling restraining orders against each other under seal.

Published reports say Oksana is alleging Gibson punched her in the face twice during a fit of rage, giving her a concussion and knocking out two of her front teeth.

Gibson does not deny that they had a confrontation but has simply described it, through his lawyer, as a loud argument.

In a further outburst, Mel is heard telling her, "You're a bitch" to which Oksana insists, "I didn't do anything."

"Did so," Mel responds.

The tapes do not make it clear what the couple was arguing about.

But Mel tells Oksana, "Look what you did to me... look what you are... look what every part of you is... f**king fake... f**king fake.

"You are the most synthetic person... who the f*** are you?"

He also takes aim at Oksana's previous relationship with former James Bond star Timothy Dalton, with whom she has a 13-year-old son, Alexander.

A source close to the situation says Oksana claims she was forced to tape Mel after he made a series of death threats.

The source says she hopes the recordings will be admissible in any potential trial.

"Oksana's motivation for recording this was to show Mel how mean he was, and because she feared for her life," said the insider.

"She wanted to get evidence that he was dangerous and violent."

The source claims that Mel has heard two of the tapes.

Said the source, "Mel is doing everything he can to suppress this... they are the rantings of a mad man."

source

SYTYCD: Performances

We have twice as many guys as girls, and it's so weird to see it so lopsided. How are they not supposed to kick off a guy this week? I hope all the guys are so good that they can't possibly be in the Bottom 3.

Cat's skin looks very pink and I think there's lipstick on her teeth. She's in Hot Mess mode tonight, with her crooked eyes being even wonkier than normal.

1. Adechike and Lauren - Hip Hop by Dave Scott. It was alright. I really love Lauren, I guess Adechike is kind of dull. It didn't really seem to showcase any great skill. His solo was quite amazing though.

2. Ashley and Ade - Contemporary by Some Dude. It was great, and mostly because Ade is such a fabulous, strong partner to have - always good at the lifts and the drops and things. They paired really nicely.

3. Robert and Courtney - Jazz by Sonya. He should be really good at Sonya stuff because he's so tall, strong, quirky, and HOT. It was a cool Sonya routine with cool Sonya music. It suited them well and they were great. More guyliner please!

4. Melinda and Pasha - Salsa by Some Dude. Oh great - my 2 least favorite dancers. Fun times for me. I thought it seemed sloppy and awkward at times, but then again I hate these people - am I going to like it? She got her dress caught on her heel at the beginning and fixed it really quickly and it didn't seem to trip her up. So there's some positivity! But really I just want Melinda to DIE. Mia called her pigeon-toed again and flat out said they made a mistake by not sending her home last week!!! AHAHAHAHAHA! MAJOR BURN!

5. Lauren and Neil - Broadway by Joey Dowling. They're both pretty so this should be good. Near the end, the strap on her dress totally popped and I eagerly anticipated some titty. It was hysterical - somehow it stayed up, even when she wasn't holding it in place. Lord, that was close. Oh yeah, the dancing was good too - she's the best girl, not that there's all that much competition.

6. Billy and Kathryn - Contemporary by Stacey Tookey. It was great, of course. There was a pretty cool lift where she essentially stood on his thighs while he was standing up. I agree with Nigel that Billy doesn't have the greatest partnering qualities though. It kind of seemed like 2 people dancing separately. Beautifully, but separately.

7. Jose and Anya - Samba by a Scumbag Russian. This could get awkward. Again, he's out of his element and it's not fabulous. Even I could tell his arm placement wasn't right and stuff. But he just tries so damn hard and is so adorable I love him - and the judges don't care either. He's not technically perfect, but he has the performance going for him. On a related note, I had to finally Google how old Anya is. I'm 7 years older than her, but I swear she looks 7 years older than me. Anya is a mystery. An old-ass mystery.

8. Kent and Allison - Jazz by Mandy Moore. They were a little mismatched because he's smaller and twiggier and seems so much younger. I just am continually annoyed by his aw-shucks thing. He makes me gag, he's too corny. Nigel hit the nail on the head when he said Kent was playing more to the audience than to his partner. Nicely done, Nigel. Hopefully the judges knocked him down a peg with the whole "quit the farmboy thing" thing.

9. Alex and Twitch - Hip Hop by Tabitha & Napoleon - SAME SEX HIP HOP! Of course they make us wait til the end for this epicness. It was amazing. Totally the perfect combination of choreography, song, and performance. Alex just EXPLODED. My mouth was hanging open. It was amazing. Plus there was Twitch!!! Loveloveloved it. Rewound it. Rewatched it. Twice. Loved it. Too much damn fun. The place went mad, the judges were up, the crowd was up, it was so fun to see. People were losing their minds - he's a ballet dancer, goddamn it!!

I love this show so much when it does this to me!!!!

SYTYCD: Results

Cat's wearing a little black dress with a zipper that goes the whole way down the front diagonally. I want to unzip her. Let's see if all the girls end up at the bottom so American tweens can spend more time with their gay boyfriends! Speaking of which, Kent's going to make it to the Top 2, isn't he? Because he's wholesome, all-American, and makes girls scream for his twinkiness.

Kent and Adechike are safe right away and Cristina and her braces are in the Bottom 3.

Next, Alex and Jose are safe and Melinda and her large calves are in the Bottom 3.

Finally, Lauren is safe, and so we're guaranteed to get a guy in the Bottom 3 for once - and it's either Robert or Billy. It's Robert. Well, that's strange, considering he's HOT! Tweens don't want to date him? I do.

Cristina does her standard shimmying and Melinda does her standard tapping. Robert is 1000 times more versatile, made good use of the whole stage, and did I mention he's HOT?

Bye-bye: Cristina. No more braces. How sad. NOT.

Top Chef: DC

Quickfire Challenge: Make sandwiches... with a partner... while you're joined together like Siamese Twins. (It was all a horrid bipartisan pun - they even called it a "bipartisandwich". Oh god, are they going to make with the government/political puns all season?) It's slightly dangerous, with all of the knives. I love sandwiches, and there were lots of good-looking ones. The Tanned Douchebag and the Fat Chick won, and they get immunity.

Elimination Challenge: Make a healthy school lunch for $2.60 per child. And do it in teams.

Andrea's team made some great-looking BBQ chicken, cole slaw, and mac and cheese. Want. The meal with the carnita tacos (with tortillas made from oatmeal!) looked good too. The other teams were a bit disastrous - like the one that kind of neglected vegetables, and the one that made chicken with sherry jus -- for kids. Sherry. Wine.

During Judges' Table there was a boatload of under-the-bus-throwing. The bottom two teams were even shit-talking each others' dishes. And The Tanned Douchebag made the crappiest, most pointless thing, but he's safe so who cares. It's my Smooth Brother No. 1 who's in trouble here!

Winner: The Pork Carnitas team, and Kelly specifically.

Bye-bye: Jacqueline, for her super-sugary banana pudding. Good. She sucks and so do bananas.

SYTYCD: Performances

1. Cristina and Pasha - Paso Doble by Jean-Marc Généreux. She's a ballroom dancer - and Latina - so this should be fine. It was intense and cool, but I still just don't like her.

2. Adechike and Allison - Contemporary by Mandy Moore. It was fine, pretty standard. He's got such great technique, but something about him bugs me. The smile was really fake this week. I don't know, it was fine and boring.

3. Alex and Lauren - Broadway by Tyce. Alex is just amazing. And they were so perfectly in sync it was SCARY.

4. Ashley and Mark - Jazz by Travis. It was really cool and I love Mark. Ashley's pretty good considering I think of her as an underdog, meaning I don't think of her at all. The routine definitely seemed more Contemporary than Jazz. Even Nigel said so - it's not just me.

5. Billy and Comfort - Krump by Lil' C. Now THAT'S a combination. This is going to be crazy!! How is Billy Bell supposed to be hood??? If he can do this, he can do anything. And you know what? He did it. I mean, it was still Billy Bell, but it was the best he could do I think. He needed to pull that tongue in, but it was cool to see him do something pretty much the polar opposite of his style. The judges hammered him, but I think he gets an A for effort.

6. Robert and Anya - Argentine Tango by Jean-Marc Généreux. It was great. But Robert would be a lot hotter if he would just stop talking. More dancing, less talking.

7. Melinda and Ade - Contemporary by Stacey. The routine was lame. I mean, it was about environmentalism, which I think is the weirdest idea yet (and this show has had some weird themes). Meh, Melinda bores me AND annoys me. Die.

8. Jose and Kathryn - Bollywood by an Indian Dude. This could end up being really sweet or really awful. It ended up being in-between. Like, you could tell Jose worked hard. And sometimes he seemed stiff, like he was just trying to get the moves right, keeping an eye on Kathryn. It definitely wasn't perfect, but who doesn't love Jose?

9. Lauren and Dominic - Lyrical Hip Hop by a Fat Chick. It was a great routine and I love my little blond cheerleader Lauren. Fabulous!

10. Kent and Courtney - Jazz by Tyce. I was worried that Farm Boy was going to pop a boner on stage, he was all worked up into a frenzy about touching a girl. I definitely checked for a tent when he was done. The dancing was great, and Kent made me laugh tonight. I might be pulled into his farm boy charm.

Green Hornet

I can't decide how I feel about Green Hornet yet. I had just read earlier this week that it's horrible, that the studio hated it. But on the other hand, Christoph Waltz is in it. And I HAVE to support any movie that has Christoph Waltz in it. On the third hand, I can understand Jackie Chan way better than I can understand Kato in this trailer. And I can't understand a word Jackie Chan says.

Top Chef: DC

So now I get to be jealous of both the food AND the locale. Plus I get the bonus of rooting for Andrea, who is Head Chef and Owner of Talula, a place I love in Miami! Nice.

The only other person who stands out to me is Smelly Dreadlocked Man. Oh wait - we also have the Tanned Douchebag and the Gay Indian Dude who prepared for the show by hiring a Wardrobe Stylist. Lord help us. There are loads of Smooth Brothers who I can't tell apart.

Quickfire Challenge: Mise en place tournament - peeling potatoes, dicing onions, breaking down chickens. Kenny (Smooth Brother No. 1) is insane, and finishes each leg first. Tanned Douchebag wins though, based on the last part of the tournament - making a dish with the ingredients.

Elimination Challenge: Create a dish that represents where you're from and serve it at a Cherry Blossom Festival reception. They compete in smaller groups - not as a team, but against the other people in your group. The Top 4 from the Quickfire get to pick the members of their group - picking the crappy chefs first, which leads to a bunch of hurt feelings and indignation.

Top 4: Two Smooth Brothers, the Bald Russian, and the Tanned Douchebag. And the Winner is Tanned Douchebag Angelo.

Bottom 4: Smelly Dreadlocked Man, Some Random, a Smooth Brother, and Dumb Bitch Who Serves Grainy Liver Mousse.

Bye-bye: Smelly Dreadlocked Man John. Well at least I don't have to get grossed out at the sight of him any more, wondering if a long gray hair is going to end up in someone's food.

I Love Sushi

And I've gotta say, the peaches are my favorite part! (Embedding disabled because Adult Swim is lame, but follow the link. Then do yourself a favor and watch some other Dr. Steve Brule videos while you're there.)

Kids' Movie Weekend

I really need to see Get Him to the Greek, but for some reason *cough*Mike*cough*, I ended up seeing 2 kids' movies instead.

I wasn't really excited to see The Karate Kid, and it was pretty much what I expected. Your typical sports movie where the underdog works hard and beats the bad guy. I don't really remember the original all that well, but the only thing this movie seemed to have in common with it was an old Asian dude. Otherwise, it's pretty different. They could have called it The Kung-Fu Kid and just been accused of ripping off The Karate Kid. I mean, it takes place in China and they do kung-fu -- there's no Japanese karate involved. But I digress.

The movie was fine but here's my main problem with it - the kid's too young. He's 12, not the high school senior of the original. 12 is too young to be so violent. (The Chinese kids are encouraged to break people down, literally. Then again, this is China -- they're growing super-soldiers to take over the world in 5 years.) 12 is too young to be wandering off alone in a new foreign city, hanging out with an adult male. The movie could have easily taken a turn and become an after-school special. 12 is too young to be fighting for honor. 12 is too young to be confidently macking on a hottie. And 12 is definitely too young for abs. This kid had abs that rival Bradley Cooper's. It was insane.

Jaden Smith is likeable. He totally has his dad's personality - you could see his father delivering lines the same way. For me, the best part of the movie was Jackie Chan. There is something cuddly about a serious, quiet Jackie Chan. I'm used to the whacky, comedic action guy. I like this serious one better. He made the movie for me.

In the end, I just had too many real questions bothering me. Would a single mother really relocate her son to China for a job? Is that what the economy's brought us to? And keep letting your kid fend for himself on the streets of a foreign city!



Toy Story 3 on the other hand, I definitely wanted to see. I always enjoy the Toy Story movies, and Pixar movies in general. This was great. The level of detail in a Pixar movie always gets to me. This time, we have the toys going off to a day care center that is made out to be a prison. The movie's just as good as the ones that came before. Sweet, funny, and just a little twisted. Seriously, the Big Baby is creepy as hell.

SYTYCD: Results

I found something else that bothers me about this new format. Conceivably, all of the girls could be picked off one after the other (by the catty 12-year-old girls who vote), leaving nothing but guys in the Top 6. Let's face it, girls vote for the gay boys that they think will be their boyfriends some day. But I guess it doesn't really matter. It's just in all of the other seasons, it was always boy/girl, boy/girl.

Bottom Three: Melinda, Alexie, Cristina. See? Three girls, and all the Gay Boyfriends are safe.

I don't really care about any of these girls, so any of them can go. I mean, I'll always stand by my Filipina Princess, but whatever. After the girls dance for their lives, the judges decide who to boot. Once again, they seem to love Cristina. Ick.

Bye-bye: Alexie. Sadness.

SYTYCD: Performances

Our first live show opens with all kinds of horrid camerawork and missed close-ups. Oh - this show is directed by a woman now, right? That explains a lot.

OK, so Mary Murphy's NOT going to be a judge this season? At all? I forget, but I guess Mia replaced her and Adam's permanent too. It's OK, I can live without her Hot Tamale Train. Adam's hella orange though.

1. Billy and Lauren - Broadway by Tyce, set to "Footloose". I loved Lauren; it was hard to take my eyes off her. It's kind of depressing how you don't really hear from the All-Star either before or after. :( In his opening bit, we saw that Billy's dad is a general contractor. I hope he loves his gay son! Billy's great, but this new format is throwing me off - I want to hear from Lauren!!

2. Cristina and Mark - Jazz by Sonya. Mark is MADE for Sonya routines - can't wait! I think Cristina was good. I don't know. Here's my problem so far - I'm focusing on the dancers I know instead of watching the new ones. Especially here where I really wanted to see Mark dance Sonya's stuff. This is going to be all about the All Stars for me, I can tell. Also, Cristina's clear braces bother me.

3. Jose and Comfort - Hip hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. Comfort pwns hip hop and it was a kickass routine. Jose lucked out starting out with hip hop. He was great. They partnered really well together.

4. Adechike and Kathryn - Jazz by Travis. Cool routine. Once again, I focused on Kathryn. The judges were kind of harsh with him because they expect so much. Mia slammed him for having no chemistry or emotion.

5. Melinda and Pasha - Jive by Tony & Melanie. Words can't describe the douchechills Pasha gives me, especially when people call him hot and he has a shirt open to his navel. Puke. In this case, I was actually watching Melinda, and thought she was good. The judges didn't like her legs and Mia called her pigeon-toed. But Melinda's personality didn't bother me, and kind of helped her in this performance, so I consider it a win.

6. Alex and Allison - Contemporary by Sonya. Well, I don't know Allison, so I suppose I'll be watching the new kid for once. It was really amazing, and gave everyone all kinds of goosebumps. Allison was great too, and I didn't know what to expect from her. Even Nigel was getting all choked up, and that's usually Mia and Adam's job. Mia said it was the best piece ever on the show!!

7. Alexie and Twitch - Hip hop by Tabitha & Napoleon. They showed clips from her performance on Star Search as a kid and ADAM JUDGED HER THEN TOO! OMG! Young Adam! It's hysterical! I was underwhelmed by the performance. Didn't think the choreography was all that, and didn't think Alexie had a lot to work with. Twitch was the one I watched cuz I love him, and I thought she was too stiff or something. She's wrong for hip hop.

8. Lauren and Ade - Pop jazz by Mandy Moore. The routine was really cute and it was great to see Ade again. She held her own, considering it was with Ade, and the choreography kind of fit her because it was cheerleader-esque. It was a bit robotic, but that seemed to be the point of the routine. Mia criticized her for not "filling the spaces" and I could totally see that - technically precise, but not emotional.

9. Kent and Anya - Cha cha by Tony & Melanie. Anya's kind of mature for this little twerp, isn't she? He's going to do a strong cha cha? Oh lord. It was what I expected. He's pulling faces and he looks 12 and he's too weak to lift Anya's fat ass. (Seriously, Anya was unexpectedly curvy. You know, for this show.) He clearly had a great time, which was cute, but the whole farm-boy-makes-good thing is getting old already.

10. Ashley and Neil - Contemporary by Tyce. Well, I'm pretty much just watching my BF Neil. Screw Ashley. I don't know, the routine kind of bored me and I didn't feel chemistry between them. It's probably because Neil was thinking of me the whole time, and who can blame him.

11. Robert and Courtney - African Jazz by Some Dude. Love the African Jazz! The choreography was awesome and they were amazing. Something about Robert bothers me. But he IS hot, so I need to get over that and just appreciate. You know what it is? His personality. And the melodramatic false modesty and gratitude. Die. You'll make a cute corpse.

SYTYCD: Season 7 Starts

I did a massive catch-up of 5 hours of So You Think You Can Dance, because the audition part isn't my favorite part of this show. This season they made it even worse by doing awkward home visits and draaaaagging out the final selections.

We've only got a Top 11 this season because they're bringing back some all-stars to pair up with the new dancers. Then I guess we'll get 1 kicked off each week instead of 2, so the season will be the same length. It's like they're going for a Dancing With The Stars vibe, giving the contestants professional partners. And now a bad dancer won't bring their partner down with them. If you get sent home, you can't blame your partner - your partner is an all-star, MF'er.

Contestants:

Alex, my favorite super-gay Asian ballet dancer. Love.

Lauren, the cutesy blond chick. Love.

Robert and Ashley, who so far have been unremarkable and forgettable, but will probably surprise me.

Jose, who they're trying to get to be this season's Legacy, and I don't buy it. Yet. He's great in his b-boy style, but to be the next Legacy you really have to be awesome at everything.

Cristina, the salsa dancer who annoys me.

Adechike, who is amazing.

Melinda, the tapdancer with other talents -- one of which is annoying the piss out of me with her personality.

Billy, the dude from last season who left early because he "got sick." I, of course, assumed he had AIDS, because that's what I do.

Alexie, my Filipina princess. Love.

Kent, the small town boy who apparently wants us to think he's straight. Aw, how cute. Love.

All-Stars:

There are 12 of them, so I guess they'll rotate them in based on the styles.

Ade
Allison. She's the only one I don't know, because I didn't start watching until Season 3.
Anya
Comfort. Was she all that versatile? I don't remember her that way. I guess she'd just do hip hop routines.
Courtney
Dominic. Love love love.
Kathryn
Lauren
Mark
Neil. You know what - I STILL fantasize about Neil being my gay boyfriend. LOVE NEIL!
Pasha. Oh great. Another season of Pasha making the sexy for us. Of course he took his shirt off. Barf.
Twitch - YAY!

I don't know how I feel about them messing with my SYTYCD formula, but I'll give it a shot. Hopefully it'll push the dancing to the next level.

The A-Team

Do you have any idea how happy I am that The A-Team movie wasn't a huge disappointment? I loved the show as a kid and was really hoping they wouldn't screw this up. It was awesome.

For me, if you have a good Murdock, you have a great A-Team. And Sharlto Copley's Murdock was every bit as good as I thought he'd be. The whole team had great chemistry together, even if you couldn't always understand Rampage Jackson's mumblings. And even I can't deny that tanned, blond Bradley Cooper ain't hard to look at. He totally played the perfect, charming Faceman. And Patrick Wilson as a CIA douchebag was great too - totally eccentric. Every character in the movie was kind of a bit off-kilter. It really is the kind of movie where you can tell people had fun making it and it had all these little moments that seem unscripted and just fun.

What can I say? This A-Team fangirl had a big smile on her face the whole time. It has a great cast and those crazy, perfectly-timed stunts that are an A-Team signature. It also sets itself up nicely for a sequel, and maybe even a villain played by a guy who really would make a cool, badass A-Team 2 villain.

This. Must. Happen.

I'm back on my Jeremy Renner bandwagon. This needs to happen. I don't even know what a Hawkeye is, but if it puts ol' JR in a major movie, I'm all for it. Oh, and I've actually done a bit of research on Hawkeye - sounds like a complex, awesome character. Bring it!

Jeremy Renner is in final negotiations to join The Avengers, Marvel Studios' big-screen take on its superhero team that's being directed by Joss Whedon.

Renner will play the bow-and-arrow-carrying hero Hawkeye, who, while not one of the initial members of the team when it was created in the 1960s, became an integral member soon after when the misguided villain switched sides.

Renner will join Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man/Tony Stark, Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Chris Evans as Captain America, Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury and Don Cheadle as War Machine.

The Hulk may also be a character in the movie, but at this stage, there is no deal that would bring back Ed Norton, who starred as the emerald giant in 2008's The Incredible Hulk.

Renner's involvement was initially rumored last fall, although the actor, who was in the middle of the awards derby with his war thriller The Hurt Locker, was at the time more taken with Paul Thomas Anderson's untitled drama and was being heavily courted by Universal for Battleship.

Renner never joined Battleship, and while he still has definite interest in Anderson's film, that project is still cobbling financing and has seen its start pushed back several times.

Renner saw a chance to take on work in a role that, while key, is not starring in nature and will allow him to slide into Anderson's film if it should come together.

To keep costs manageable for The Avengers, Marvel is trying to keep a lid on the movie's finances and the actors are taking salary cuts, according to insiders.

source

Rose Is All We've Got Left!

R.I.P. Yet Another Golden Girl

Rue McClanahan has died at the age of 76.

"She passed away at 1 a.m. this morning," her manager, Barbara Lawrence, tells PEOPLE. "She had a massive stroke."

McClanahan, who played man-happy Blanche Devereaux on the still-popular '80s sitcom Golden Girls, had suffered a minor stroke earlier this year while recovering from bypass surgery. Lawrence adds that at the time of her death Thursday, McClanahan “had her family with her. She went in peace."

Conan: Live!

I saw Conan O'Brien's Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television tour this past Sunday in Atlantic City, NJ. I went to the 11:35 PM show, which I thought was extra nerdy-cool because of it being his old time slot. The show was great. He was hilarious and he rocked hard. I had been in the audience of his old show in NYC once and he had brought out the acoustic guitar beforehand, so I knew he loved to play. But this time he was rocking it. And you could tell he was having a blast.


Since this was a casino show, some of the very first rows were empty - reserved for comps for gamblers. Very early on, he invited the audience to move forward - knowing the fans should have those seats, not some random gambling douchebags. He also came out into the crowd at the end, running right down the middle, high-fiving and hugging people.

His band was all there too (except for Max) and they ruled. It was a really high-energy show. Andy came out too, and there were a couple recorded segments. We even got the Walker: Texas Ranger Lever, though it was re-named due to NBC possibly owning the rights to it. The whole show was awesome -- I laughed my ass off.

Conan was so great. He seemed to be doing what he loves, but still had that edge of bitterness that someone in his position is bound to have. Can't wait til he starts up his TBS show in the Fall.

Happy Memorial Day

Apropos of nothing, I really loved Parks & Recreation this year. Really loved it. So here are some songs to get stuck in your head over the long weekend.

First, Parks & Recreation as Friends.



And good luck watching the show and not singing this every time.

R.I.P. Gary Coleman

I guess God needed to know what Willis was talkin' 'bout. On another note - wow, he was 42!?

Gary Coleman died today after being taken off life support, according to RadarOnline: Coleman had been hospitalized in Provo, Utah since Wednesday, May 26, after suffering what his family called "a serious medical problem." As RadarOnline.com previously reported, Coleman had slipped into a coma and was on life support after suffering an intracranial hemorrhage, according to ABC News.

24: Series Finale Finale

The press conference ends, and President Suvarov senses the Cold Shoulder he's getting from Pompadour's Wife. Taylor confirms his suspicions. Logan calls Suvarov and tells him they need to talk alone, in Logan's suite.

Chloe comes to, but even Chloe can't convince Jack to turn back now. Damn. Since he hasn't heard from Chloe in a while, Freddie Prinze, Jr. unleashes CTU on the building, telling them Jack is planning a good old-fashioned sniping.

Jack's frustrating me. Chloe's totally reasonable with him - um, hello, an assassination on American soil? Yeah, that'll go over well, dumbass - but Jack's still not having any of it. Then Chloe pulls out the "Renee wouldn't want this" card.

Logan quite hilariously just stands there awkwardly looking at Suvarov, waiting for Jack to pull the trigger, but Jack finally backs down. Logan's all, "Sorry for wasting your time." LOL.

So now the CTU team is coming in after Jack and JACK TELLS CHLOE TO SHOOT HIM!!! HOLY CRAP!!! THEY'RE KILLING ME!! He's got a gun on her and keeps yelling at her to pull the trigger. Finally, he puts his own gun at his temple, and that's when she shoots him. Hardcore stuff right there.

The medics work on Jack while Chloe heads out with the recording implicating Suvarov, but she's interrupted by Dickwad With The Eyes Too Close Together, nosing around looking for the recording. Dickwad makes Chloe empty her pockets, and I take this time to remind him that about an hour ago he was crying like a bitch. I hope she stashed this thing in her vagina, because Dickwad proceeds to give her the old patdown. "Hope you enjoyed yourself," she says when he's done. LOL! Turns out she just stashed it in her phone. Boring.

Dickwad finds out the shot didn't hurt any vital organs, and so figures out Chloe's helping Jack. Jack then proceeds to call Dickwad closer and... wait for it... BITES HIS MOTHERLOVING EAR OFF AND SPITS IT IN HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!! CTU Agent Do-Gooder gets to Chloe as she's uploading the data, and transmission is interrupted. Chloe and Jack are transported to CTU. No! Not CTU Medical!! That never ends well.

Logan - officially the Greatest Slimeball Character Ever Invented - gives Taylor the data card and tells her that Jack needs to be killed. If he's locked away, he'll find a way out, so it's time to take him out. Taylor gives her silent, tacit approval. SNAAAAAP! The data card doesn't have the recording though, it has Jack's video message, which is really more of a political diatribe/guilt trip. Taylor starts crying and Jack's message appears to be sinking in.

Dickwad walks into Logan's suite like he's the goddamn king -- with a massive bandage on his head. NICE EAR, FREAK!!! Asshole. They start gloating and celebrating, which can only mean they are GOING DOWN! Come on, Taylor, grow a damn conscience.

Secretary-General Soul Glo starts the signing ceremony. I start a chant of "Don't sign it" until it's finally Taylor's turn, and she reaches for the pen that was a gift from Pompadour. DON'T SIGN IT! She caps the pen, and doesn't sign the bitch. OH SNAAAAAAP!

President Taylor turns into President Tattletale and announces that there's been a conspiracy (she'll go into details later) and the peace process is over. She has her chief of staff call Jack's transport to tell them they're about to be ambushed. Taylor's shaking. It's awesome. She's gonna stroke out!!

It's too late, as Jack's transport has already been ambushed. Gas-masked men descend on him as he wriggles out of the ambulance.

Logan turns white and pink and white again as he watches the news. His phone rings and he wants to ignore it, knowing it's Taylor asking about Jack. LOGAN THEN KILLS DICKWAD!!!!!! KNOCKS HIM OVER THE HEAD, SHOOTS HIM, AND KILLS HIM!!!!!!!! OK, look, as usual with this show, this stuff is crazy and might not make sense, but is freaking awesome.

Logan then shoots himself in the turkey neck and I shriek. SHRIEK! Luckily, Logan is inept at EVERYTHING, including suicide. Medics think he'll live but may sustain brain damage.

Chloe pulls archived surveillance footage and watches as Jack is put into a black van. We're 6 minutes from the end and one of his captors makes Jack get onto his knees. Just as he's about to pull the trigger, President Taylor calls (she got through using a CTU drone and a microwave signal, OK, stop questioning these things) and orders him to release Jack or she'll release freaking hellfire missiles on them.

Taylor tells Jack she will confess everything, quit her job, and take responsibility for her actions. "If I had listened to you none of this would have happened." DRINK! She tells Jack to hit the bricks and get out of the country - the Russian and American governments will be gunning for him.

Jack calls Chloe and she promises to protect Kim and buy him some time. Thank you, Chloe, you're my soulmate, peace out.

See, this thing was definitely more exciting and crazy than sad. Holy crap, they packed a lot into these final 2 hours. And look - Jack's been through all of this before. He's been kidnapped by the Chinese, he's walked off into the sunrise, and he persevered. So he'll be just fine.

I thought for sure they'd do a silent clock at the end. That would have been cool.

See you in the movies, Jack Bauer. Do me a favor and bring Tony Almeida with you. Michael Madsen too.

24: Series Finale Part 1

I'm not expecting tonight's series finale to be as heartbreaking and emotional as last night's. I expect your standard 24 cliffhanger really. It's not going to be some grand, overarching ending, like Lost's sobfest. For Jack Bauer, this isn't the end of 8 years, it's just another ending to another day.

Eight seasons (EIGHT!?) and it comes down to this final 2 hours. Once again, let's do this thing.

We start with a little "thank you" from Kiefer Sutherland and I've gotta say, for a self-destructive alcoholic that man is nothing but class. He really loves that he got to do this show and is thankful it gave his career a reboot. He put a lot of damn hard work into this thing too. Oh great. I'm getting a creeper and the show hasn't started yet. We even get an "Events occur in real time" like the old days. Oy.

Freddie Prinze, Jr. arrives at Michael Madsen's house. MM has great security, of course, so he sees him coming. They have a standoff and Freddie convinces MM to help Jack - he tells Freddie that President Suvarov is the real Russian Bad Guy.

He and Chloe decide to try to stall Suvarov getting to the UN as much as possible while they look for Jack. After a brief product placement for Hyundai.

Jack listens as Charles Logan tells President Taylor about Jack's Russian Rampage... and the truth about Suvarov. She looks like she loses bowel function a couple times during that conversation, it's great.

Dickwad With The Eyes Too Close Together gets into his car, and Jack's in the back seat. The way he slid over slowly into the camera's view, with the music cue and everything -- I rewound that thing 3 times. Now it's Dickwad's turn to crap his pants, as he drives Jack to the UN. Once in the parking garage, Jack makes Dickwad sew up his knife wound. HOLY CRAP! Hardcore, man. Dickwad begs for his life, saying he has a little girl (which I could totally see being a lie by the way), and instead of shooting him, Jack just knocks him out real good.

President Pompadour's Wife lays the unintentional guilt on really thick, telling President Taylor how much these peace talks meant to the Pompadour. Are Presidents supposed to cry? Because Taylor is. WEAK! When Baby Pompadour tells her mom that the Russian government could be behind her dad's murder, The Wife goes to see President Taylor to let her know. Ha ha honey. She already knows. Taylor bald-faced LIES to this woman, telling her it was just a rumor, but that they investigated and it wasn't true. So much for that guilt. Bitch. When The Wife threatens to pull out of the signing, Taylor confesses that it's true. Oh OK then. Maybe the guilt worked. CATFIGHT!!!! (Shouldn't the Secret Service come in as soon as a voice is raised? I would think so.) The Wife is awesome, telling Taylor to F off, saying she's going to disclose everything. Taylor grows some cold-as-steel balls and blackmails The Wife into signing -- she says she'll tell everyone how people from her country were going to detonate a bomb in NYC (remember that) AND EVEN THREATENS THAT SHE'LL BE ABLE TO TAKE MILITARY ACTION AS RETALIATION!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!! I'm screaming at the TV at this point, pausing so I can yell at this bitch. Finally Taylor isn't weak, but holy crap is she nasty. OK, she just woke me up. This is GOOD!

Jack loads up the Hardcore Jack Sack (the big, strapped-to-the-back kind, none of this Messenger Bag of Death nonsense) and heads inside one of the buildings to set up his little sniper situation. By which I mean his big sniper situation, overlooking the plaza where everyone will be speaking.

Security cameras catch Jack's reflection in a vending machine (surely he wasn't stopping for a snack), and Chloe sets out to find him. Meanwhile, Jack records a video message for Kim.

The Wife gives Taylor the Silent Treatment (BURN!), but shows up to greet Suvarov's motorcade and sign the damn treaty. Secretary-General Eriq La Salle (Just let your Soul Glo!) starts the press conference.

Chloe has excellent Jack Hunting Skills and finds him. He gives her the ol' Rear Naked Choke and gets back to sniping. He's aiming for Charles Logan, and calls him up, playing the audio evidence he has on Logan/the Russians. PWNED! He wants Logan to bring Suvarov out.

I'm doing this in 2 parts because there's so much damn stuff happening. Also of note: the CTU Dude That Always Has The Torture Drugs makes a quick appearance! Yay!