127 Hours

I am continuing in my quest to see each of the 10 films nominated for Best Picture. I only have The Fighter remaining.

127 Hours is definitely a great film. It's weird to see a movie where you already know the story so well. I hadn't read Aron Ralston's book, but you only had to see bits of his interviews or watched a Today Show segment to know what went down. And it's horrifying. So you go into this movie knowing you're gonna watch a guy get stuck and hack his arm off.

Still, I think it's the way the movie was filmed (as opposed to this advance knowledge) that made me feel like I was having a panic attack during the movie. I had to literally take deep breaths and drink water and tell myself it was just a movie. And he'd only been stuck for a minute.

The movie is very claustrophobic and definitely makes you feel like you're trapped there. Not gonna lie, on the drive home I felt a tingle in my right arm, between the wrist and the elbow. Still do, now that I think about it. I went into the movie thinking, "How can a movie about a guy stuck in one place for a long time be interesting?" But it is, and Danny Boyle deserves the Best Director Oscar this year (since Christopher Nolan can't have it) for making a movie that portrays exhilaration, claustrophobia, panic, pain (he has a great way of portraying pain), small joys and triumphs, and, finally, relief. It really is great. He's a really creative, dynamic director, and the film always moves at a quick pace (amazing, considering it's about a dude trapped in a canyon). James Franco is a large part of that too, as he's practically the only person on screen for much of the movie. I thought he did a great job at portraying those same emotions. His reactions all seemed very real. I'd be talking to myself at least twice as much if I were down there. The movie is a great portrayal of what the human body and the human spirit are capable of.

But let's be honest - the chances of me being in that situation are small. If you ever get me out hiking in the desert, it'll be with a satellite phone. And I'll definitely leave a note.

Fringe

Freak of the Week: Guy gets a freaky cloth doll delivered to his office, which releases some kind of powder all over him. He starts collapsing strangely, and then - and this is awesome, classic Fringe, people - he falls bonelessly to the floor. Literally boneless. He's just skin in his clothes, no more bones, like they just turned to dust. Love it!

The team figures out who the sender is using post office footage and facial recognition software. You know what, they really do solve this crap quickly and easily, don't they? The killer is a soldier, and the dead guy was the scientist who oversaw an experimental weapons project the soldier was involved in. The soldier's pissed because his unborn daughter died 7 months into the pregnancy - because she had no skeleton. He's not working alone either.

The team finds the soldier at his house, but he's pwned by a car when he runs away into traffic. Walter looks up a former Cortexifan Kid. We thought we'd seen them all, but conveniently, no. I want to start assembling them like superheroes. This one has the ability to read minds (everyone's except Olivia's), and so they want him to read the comatose killer's mind. Wow, they really should just make a Super Team already. I hope someone can spin webs.

Cortexifan Kid pulls some stuff from the guy's head, including the name Project Jellyfish. There were 3 experimental subjects, all of whom couldn't have kids because their kids didn't have skeletons. The team finds evidence of the toxin manufacture on one guy's property (they're working on a mass delivery system), and they figure out they're going to attack a Senator's fundraiser at an art museum. (The Senator used to be involved in Project Jellyfish too.)

Olivia gets dressed up and puts on some foxy red lipstick, and takes Cortexifan Kid to the fundraiser with her. He identifies Killer #2, and Olivia shoots him dead after he draws first. They find Killer #3, and she shoots his ass right through the back of the neck as he's about to detonate. PWNED! And she looked hot doing it too. Rock on, Olivia.

Nina goes rummaging through William Bell's Storage Closet of Random Things, and finds a German edition of The First People. This is, of course, the book that talks about the Otherworldly Peter Death Machine. She gives it to Olivia, and they have a little girl talk about Peter. (Olivia says that Fauxlivia was just like her, only better. :( Not better, Olivia!!! Never!)

Olivia and Peter find some time to talk about things, of course. We don't have to bring this stuff up EVERY week, do we? He says that when he explained the differences between Olivia and Fauxlivia before, it wasn't that he was comparing them, or saying he preferred Fauxlivia. He was trying to explain that he DID notice a difference, but that he thought he was causing those differences, that Olivia was loosening up because of their relationship. You know how those uptight chicks are - they get some and they chill out.

In the end, her Cortexifan Pal tells her that he read Peter's thoughts, and gives her a note to read later.

Best news for last - KEVIN CORRIGAN IS BACK! Nina figures out some code while reading through The First People, and goes to see him at the bowling alley. He knows about the Otherworldly Peter Death Machine, and says that the fate of their universe depends on which Olivia Peter chooses. The one he chooses will survive. That's kind of weird. BUT WAIT!!! Olivia opens the envelope from her Cortexifan Pal and it says, "He still has feelings for her." Oh snap!

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: He eats fried chicken so that he can use the bones to test out the powder. I will also note that Walter still plays the Punch-buggy game. Awesome.

This Week's Code: HATCH

Next Week: Back to the Other Universe!!! Yay! Charlie AND Lincoln!!!!

Top Chef All-Stars

Quickfire Challenge: Make a plate to be judged on aesthetics only. Guest judge Isaac Mizrahi (Bravo Cross-Promotion Alert!) isn't even going to taste the stuff! Of course Euro-Douchebag Angelo is into fashion. Gag. He models his dish after crocodile skin. Pretentious Euro-Douche. Our other Euro-Douche (the lovable one, Fabio) gets hella pretentious with a whole backstory for his dish, about a woman getting stuck in the rain. What the hell is this, Project Runway? Some people (Angelo) made some hella ugly stuff. And Antonia basically made kid's macaroni art with beans and nuts. Boo. Richard wins for his cool black ice cream thing. Immunity!

Elimination Challenge: Create a dish fit for some allegedly-famous Italian restaurateurs. I love me some Italian food, and there's a lot of good-looking stuff. The pasta dishes all looked good, but apparently they all tasted like crap. Damn, cuz the pasta guys were Mike, Dale, and Tre. One of my boys is going home.

Winner: Antonia and her mussels.

Bye-bye: Tre. Sadness! His risotto was allegedly too stiff. SADNESS!

The Green Hornet

I saw this movie over the weekend and really enjoyed it. I'll say this - it's worth the price of admission just for a Christoph Waltz/James Franco scene at the beginning. After that, the rest is gravy. And I like gravy.

I hadn't been too thrilled to see this movie until I started hearing decent buzz (PUN!) on it. I was even a little afraid that my beloved Christoph Waltz had made a bad decision to play a cartoony villain. How dare I doubt him. The movie's funny, but not kid's-movie funny. Waltz is freaking hysterical. Inglourious Basterds kind of showcased his (darkly) humorous side, and it's on full display here. I always find Seth Rogen amusing, and Jay Chou is not just a hottie Asian - he's a funny hottie Asian. And I want one of him for my very own, to make me awesome coffee every day.

The movie's funny and cool and stylish. There's really only one glaring problem: Cameron Diaz. Though I have to say, I enjoyed the joke they made about her being old. Because she is. See - the movie laughs at itself -- and its old, hagged-out lead actors!

Fringe

The Team heads to the Massive Dynamic compound where they're working on the Peter Doomsday Machine. They've pretty much assembled the thing, they just can't get it to work. Except that when Peter walks into the room, the machine has a reaction and his nose starts to bleed. Your power source is here!

They run some tests and find Peter has an elevated heart rate, but that's about it.

Meanwhile, Walter's still on his quest to piece his brain back together, and asks for Nina's help. She finds a serum Bell developed and Walter snorts it quickly. Because he's snorted worse. Turns out it was 1 of 3 possible serums, and this one was made for a chimp.

Lucky Astrid gets to read through Fauxlivia's diary - and Peter must have been good, because he's all over that thing. No one wants Olivia to read it, including Peter - he doesn't want her to read it because it probably makes him look like a fool for believing Fauxlivia. Awww, someone doesn't want to look like a jackass.

Meanwhile meanwhile, a couple shapeshifters have turned up dead (with their storage discs removed), including the Massive Dynamic doctor who ran the tests on Peter.

The person who's killing shapeshifters is Peter in a hoodie, looking badass. Huh? What's he up to? When Peter sneaks into the last shapeshifter's house to kill him, the dude is ready for him. But Peter kills him, in spectacular fashion, meat-cleaving his fingers and spraying mercury everywhere. Love it! But seriously - why is he doing this?

Peter had solved Fauxlivia's code that told who the shapeshifters were - and he's been taking the data discs to try to figure out what's going on. Walter catches him killing the last one. Peter thinks it's all good because they're not human after all, they're Other-worldy soldiers. Walter's upset by it, and thinks that the machine has made him evil, but for now he keeps the secret and doesn't tell Olivia. I just think Badass Peter is BADASS!

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: He prefers grape bubblegum. And bananas are his least-favorite fruit - mine too!

This Week's Code: ALTER.

Fringe

Walter's up early, cooking up something green to inject into his ass. He claims it's going to make him smarter and fill in the blanks that William Bell removed from his brain.

Great Scott! It's Christopher Lloyd! He's an old dude in a nursing home, visited in the middle of the night by his dead-for-25-years son. The son was sent by an Observer to give him a message, but we don't know what the message was because Christopher Lloyd was sleepwalking at the time and doesn't remember. So it's up to The Team to help him remember.

Meanwhile, The Observer's in Brookline, stopping a jewelry store robbery, complete with catching bullets, kicking the robbers' asses, and saving an asthmatic woman.

Walter uses hypnotherapy and some kind of aura-reading glasses to work on Christopher Lloyd. His son told him that he would meet Walter Bishop and that Christopher Lloyd would help him.

The Observer pops by once everyone else has gone off investigating, asking to speak with Walter. Walter wants to know how to save Peter from the Doomsday Machine, but The Observer tells him that there are many possible futures and he can't help. Instead, The Observer asks Walter for help and gives him this message: "Give him the keys and save the girl." He also tells him about a chain reaction of events - Kid Peter caught a firefly, so a little girl didn't, so she stayed out too late, so her dad went looking for her in the rain, and he skidded and killed a pedestrian - and the pedestrian was Christopher Lloyd's dead son.

As Peter and Olivia are coming back with the chick from the robbery, The Observer causes a car accident, making her go all asthmatic again. (But he left the store with her inhaler.) Walter shows up and Peter says, "Give me the keys and save the girl." Walter's worried that this whole thing has been a chain reaction to kill Peter and restore the balance Walter disrupted when he took him.

While Walter rigs a homemade inhaler out of a soda bottle and a pipe, Peter finds The Observer. The Observer uses his pulse gun to knock Peter out, after Peter asks what's going to happen to him and the whole Doomsday Machine thing.

The Observer disappears, Peter survives, and now everyone's confused as hell as to what The Observer is up to, if it wasn't killing Peter. Once Peter gets back to the lab, he grabs some milk from the fridge - only it's not just milk, it's got Walter's brain-building concoction in it. Peter falls to the floor in seizures. Olivia calls Walter and gets instructions on what to inject Peter with to get the seizures to stop. Walter thinks The Observer was there to save Walter's life - to prevent him from drinking the milk, which surely would have killed him.

In the end, we find out it was all a test - to make sure Walter was willing to let Peter die. And now that they know he was, The Observers say he will be willing to do it next time. Not sure what that all means, but I do love a good Observer/chain reaction story.

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: When high and injecting himself with homemade fluids, Walter orders pizza at 2 in the morning. Also, Walter and Christopher Lloyd bond over their mutual love of strawberry milkshakes.

This Week's Code: UNITES.

Top Chef All-Stars

Quickfire Challenge: Butcher fish with the quality and speed of the most famous fish butcher in NYC. Then the winners of that round have to make a dish using the head, bones, and assorted leftovers from said fish. *puke*

Winner: Dale. YES! So he gets immunity. He better have won -- he's apparently been cooking with fish heads since childhood.

Now it's time for RESTAURANT WARS!!! This time, the winning team will be decided 100% by the random diners. So clearly they should just send Fabio out to the front of the house -- he can take off his shirt, kiss some babies, speak with his accent, and get all the votes. They could serve Pop-Tarts and they'd win.

Dale had the most brilliant idea ever when he chose Marcel as the opposing team captain. Because Marcel is a Giant Asshole and not a good leader. Smart to get that team started off on a bad foot that way.

Dale's team made their menu much more accessible - everything looked fabulous. Again, that's smart -- you want the regular-people diners to like everything. People like me don't eat oxtail and lamb, but they do like to start their meal with a fresh bag of potato chips with fried herbs. The judges freaking worship their meal -- this doesn't bode well for the other team.

Tiffany sucks as Front of the House (it's cringe-worthy), but she was really probably the best option on a team of Marcel, Michael, Antonia, and Angelo. I mean, you need those guys cooking. But octopus? No thanks.

I was worried it was just the editing making Marcel's team look like a mess. But nope - they lose - only 17 out of 76 patrons chose them as the best. LOSERS! There's a pretty good fight between Marcel and Michael during the judging. Marcel gets thrown under the bus a lot, and rightly so.

Winner: Richard. Hey, it was his idea to have fresh potato chips on the table. He should have won for that alone.

Line of the Night: "Prison breaks are organized with more efficiency and teamwork." Guess which team Anthony Bourdain was speaking about there.

Bye-bye: Marcel. YAY! He's a major dick and I'm quite happy to see him go. The whole disaster was on his shoulders. And Dale masterminded the whole thing!!!! It's all part of the game!

Top Chef All-Stars

Marcel's on the rooftop, raving, being an asshole, and doing his best "urban" impression. It's weird.

Elimination Challenge: No Quickfire, just an Elimination. You have 5 hours to catch as many fish as you can (in teams) and then cook 'em up. There's also a double elimination. The whole fishing thing is dumb - how does that prove you're a good chef? It doesn't. But I'll tell you what - I'm definitely going to Water Taxi Beach next time I go to NYC - fabulous view of the other side of Manhattan!!

There are lots of yummy-looking fish dishes (once they're cooked - I don't need to know anything more about a fish's bloodline). For some reason, Richard, Marcel, and Fabio decide to just make one dish among them. And it's not like it's a home run - they get slammed for it. Jamie's her usual bumbling self.

Winner: Carla. She made a lettuce wrap that was like a deconstructed smoked fish bagel. Carla rules!

Bye-bye: Tiffany and Jamie (finally!). This is Ginger Tiffany, not Black Tiffany. I'm fine with it - apparently her fish was kind of gross. So bye-bye, bitches!

What the What?

Ladies and gentlemen, NAACP Image Award nominee Justin Timberlake.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture

Don Cheadle - Brooklyn's Finest
Idris Elba - Takers
Justin Timberlake - The Social Network
Michael Ealy - For Colored Girls
Samuel L. Jackson - Mother and Child

The curly hair? The soulful voice? What exactly qualifies him to be the one and only white dude nominated for an award meant for people of color? (Not to mention, it's Justin Freaking Timberlake being nominated for acting....)

Top Chef All-Stars

Quickfire Challenge: Daddy Tom comes out to cook a dish as quickly as he can, and then the other chefs have to make something within that time period. In 8 minutes and 37 seconds, he shucks some clams, fillets a fish, chops some veggies, and cooks it all up. Go Tom! Poor Dale ended up with like 2 limp egg noodles, and Jamie had 1 clam. A few of the fish dishes looked really good though. Winner: Mike, who had one of the good fish dishes.

Elimination Challenge: Take over a Chinatown restaurant to serve dim sum during the lunch rush. And they have to work as a team. Dim sum makes me puke. Chicken feet. Turtles. Frogs. No thank you, I'll just have the vegetarian stuff.

Dale and Angelo should kill this challenge, as they both do Asian/dim sum. And they do.

Did you know that you have to cut the nails off of the chicken feet? Because you do. Casey's chicken feet turn out to be a disaster, maybe because she had to run food while someone else finished it, maybe because THEY'RE CHICKEN FEET! Dim sum service was total mayhem, with a ton of hungry, testy old Chinese people and chefs taking too damn long to plate their stuff. Since service was a disaster, you know they're gonna get yelled at -- and throw each other under various buses.

Winner: Dale. YAY! I love him, because I love how he's all, "We're morons, we sucked tonight, no one should have won."

Bye-bye: Casey. Wow. That's awful. Jamie escapes again and CASEY has to go? But I guess if you're just judging on the one dish and not how eternally-awesome someone is, then it's life. Her thing was inedible. Ugh.

Baloney & Cereal Twenty-Ten Sillies: Movies

Well, I'm not able to see The Fighter or 127 Hours this weekend, but I think those movies are more about the performances anyway. So I'll just move ahead with my Best Of list. To be a great movie, you need to be something I want to see again, solid, and entertaining. This is my list of must-see movies for 2010.

9. Shutter Island. I didn't review this movie because I didn't see it until it was on the plane home from London. But it was creepy and cool. I even knew the "twist ending" in advance and I still really liked it. Man, I don't even like Leonardo DiCaprio and he's in 2 of my Top Movies. Maybe I like him now.

8. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Because this list needed a comedy.

7. Black Swan. It's beautifully-filmed, and should be seen for Natalie Portman's performance. Plus it's creepy and will stay with you for a while.

6. The Book of Eli. The best post-apocalyptic movie of the year. I loved the browned-out look of it, the coolness of Denzel Washington, and the ending that sticks with you.

5. Kick-Ass. Best superhero movie of the year. It's fun watching kids kick adult ass, but it was also a touching film.

4. The Social Network. The best Facebook movie of the year. The script and cocky asshole-ness of Jesse Eisenberg make for a great movie.

3. True Grit. The best Western of the year. A great movie populated by those bizarre Coen Brothers characters you love. Standout performances by Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, and that new girl.

2. The Town. Best crime drama of the year. Exciting, great performances, and Boston accents!

1. Inception. This was simply the most original film of 2010. It's not a remake, it's not based on a book - this is all Christopher Nolan's genius. Stylish, slick, gorgeously-shot, and deep enough to warrant post-film discussion that makes you feel smart. It's brilliant and a whole lot of fun.

To round out a Top 10 list...

Best Movie I Never Saw But It Literally Haunts My Dreams: The Human Centipede. I've had several nightmares about this movie, even before I watched the trailer. I'm obsessed with it, I've read everything about it, but I can't watch it. Actually, after watching the unedited 25-minute clip of Daniel Tosh explaining the movie, I think I could watch it some day. In the daytime, with a couple friends and a couple drinks. I think it's the kind of movie you can make fun of, view as a comedy... and hope it won't continue to haunt your dreams after......

Tosh.0	Tosh Tuesdays 9pm / 8c
Spoiler Alert - Human Centipede - Uncut
www.comedycentral.com
Tosh.0 Videos Daniel Tosh Web Redemption

The Black Network and The Social Swan

I took in a double feature today, in my quest to see the rest of the Big Movies of 2010. I started with The Social Network. I had heard the movie was really good, but something about watching douchebags play douchebags just didn't appeal to me. But I finally decided it was my duty as an Oscar-watcher to see it. And it's definitely good, but also definitely about douchebags, some more sympathetic than others. The way Jesse Eisenberg plays Mark Zuckerberg, he makes him look like suuuuuch an asshole. Just a royal A+ prick. He's the Villain of the Year. The dialogue (and the performances of the dialogue) elevates the movie beyond just a standard origin-of-Facebook story. You get pulled in to how the whole thing got started and the excitement of building a company, along with the thrill of revenge and screwing over your friends. Bonus: Trent Reznor worked on the score. And it's awesome!!! The movie's very good. Best movie of the year? Nah, it's a little too cookie cutter for that. But it's done really well and one of the best and solid entertainment.



Black Swan is also very good, but entirely different from The Social Network. It's straight-up effed up, though not as much as I was expecting. You definitely leave the theater feeling dazed - and I love when a movie does that to you, and sticks with you. The thing is, I'm not quite sure what was real. I'm pretty sure we were seeing everything that Natalie Portman's character was envisioning in her mind. And the girl definitely lost her mind in the pursuit of perfection.

At times I thought it was a little too Showgirls-esque. I mean, Showgirls is essentially this movie set in a strip club, with more crazy and less literally-going-crazy. Portman's character was screwed up to begin with, with obvious mental issues, OCD, and your usual suffocating stage mom. In striving for perfection in her dream role, she totally loses it.

Portman definitely deserves the Oscar for this role. She's great in it, plus clearly did some borderline-scary training (and starving-herself) for the role. I do enjoy when an actor transforms themselves like that. Darren Aronofsky does a great job of directing it too, focusing on the themes of duality and blurring the line of what's real. I also like how you really hear the breathing during the dance sequences. He just makes the whole thing seem "off" -- it's creepy when you can't really explain why and scary when you can't pinpoint what's scary.

You know what? Maybe it's Inception-meets-Showgirls-meets-ballet.

The King's Speech

Here's a movie I thought I'd have to see on my own. But I forgot that Mike fancies himself a monarchy buff, and so he wanted to see it too.

The King's Speech is the story of the stuttering, reluctant King George VI, and mostly about his relationship with his speech therapist and friend. Not being a student of history, I knew nothing about the story going in. Colin Firth is really good as the King, and they're saying he's going to win the Oscar this year. It's not some big, showy performance, but rather one that makes you feel his struggle and frustration as he deals with both his speech defect and his duty to lead his nation.

It's one of those typical, reserved, quiet little British films that is often funny and always charming. Geoffrey Rush is also very good as the supportive, quirky therapist. Apparently the King and the therapist came to be quite good friends and lived happily ever after. That's just lovely. Anyone for tea?

Baloney & Cereal Twenty-Ten Sillies: TV

I still have a few movies to see before I make a Best Of list for 2010. But I can start with my true love, television. Do I watch a lot of crappy TV or something? Because I can only think of 6 stand-outs. And yes, I realize I need to start watching Breaking Bad. It's building up on my DVR, promise.

Best Shows:

6. Lost. With my lack of long-term memory, it's hard to believe this show was still on in 2010. But May 2010 brought us an amazing season finale. It was all I could have asked for - I thought it was perfect for this show. And I cried my balls off.

5. Being Human. I picked this last year too and begged America not to remake it. America ignored me, and an American version is set for 2011. I'll give it a chance, but no way can it be as amazing as the British version. You really have to do yourself a favor and check it out.

4. The Walking Dead. I watched it for the zombies - and there were plenty - but it was also this great study of different characters, and what happens to people when the world falls apart around them.

3. Community. Team Troy. This show is always hysterical, sometimes genuinely touching, and does meta jokes better than any show ever. It's just a good time. Watch the paintball episode immediately.

2. Mad Men. 2010 was The Year of Mad Men for me, as I finally got caught up. It's just so amazing. I view it as a comedy most of the time, because the things they got away with in the '60s are hysterical. I laugh at everything inappropriate. And I really loved this season -- especially the Peggy/Don-centric episode and the finale. The writing on this show is like poetry. P.S.: Betty Draper is a giant C. Team Sally.

1. Fringe. Sigh. This year brought us the Great Peter Reveal and episodes that alternated between Universes. The show is about bizarre things while still being focused on real (and tragic) family relationships. I. Love. It.

Worst Show I Can't Stop Watching: The Event. I watch it solely to make fun of it now, and to yell at my television whenever That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend take up space. I still swear it could have potential, but it tries to prove me wrong on a weekly basis.

Worst Show That Pisses Me Off: I loved Chuck so much back in the day, but I just have not been vibing with it this last half of the year at all. I still watch it for the brief moments of happiness it contains (read: Morgan and Lester), and in the hopes it gets better. I think the whole Chuck/Sarah relationship is a bust. I hate the relationshippy show it has become.

Worst Show I Don't Watch: Glee. I haven't watched a second of it since the series premiere, and I still hate that show more than any other. Die.

Oooo wait. If I add Tosh.0 to the Best Of list, then I'll have a list of 10 shows, which is pretty close to those accepted-by-society Top 10 lists. And Tosh.0 is the funniest show on TV. Huzzah!

True Grit

First off, you won't be able to leave True Grit without speaking like Jeff Bridges the rest of the night. That's a guarantee.

Secondly, can I just say -- Jeff Bridges is a national treasure! Seriously. Tron aside, that man is awesome. He was so lovably tough, drunk, and curmudgeonly in this movie you just want to squeeze him and bring him home.

So the movie's set in the Wild West and it's about a girl seeking retribution for the death of her father. She's got Jeff Bridges as a US Marshall and Matt Damon as a (very proud) Texas Ranger helping her out. The girl in the movie is amazing, and I think it's her first movie. The character is a wise-beyond-her-years girl, but she doesn't come off as cloying or annoying. She's cool under pressure and smart, and before you know it she's charmed you into going along with her, forgetting how young she is.

The movie is a remake, but naturally I never saw the original (too old). I wonder how different it is, because this movie just has Coen Brothers written all over it. I've gotta figure they had a hand in punching up the dialogue. It's just like all of their other movies -- smart, funny as hell, punctuated by violence. It's just delightful.

What I can't figure out is how in the hell the movie got ignored by the Golden Globe Awards - no nominations? This doesn't bode well for Oscar season, and I thought for sure this one would be a contender. Eh, whatever, awards don't matter - it's a great movie you should check out.

Top Chef All-Stars

Quickfire Challenge: Make stuffing. Yep, stuffing. Yum. For whatever reason, they are given the added challenge of not being able to use knives or other kitchen tools. So they're grating cheese on the pantry rack, tearing vegetables by hand, and stirring things with celery stalks. Tre and his awesome-looking Southwestern stuffing won. Yay Tre!

Elimination Challenge: It's a 2-team challenge based on the US Open -- so they go head-to-head, there's some kind of points system, oh who the hell knows - they always stretch for these themed challenges.

The team with Richard, Carla, Fabio, and more wins -- and Jamie's dumb ass never even gets to put her undercooked beans up. I still have a girl crush on Jamie, but I'm beginning to think she can't cook.

Winner: Carla and her African peanut soup. Looks yummy. Good for Carla!

Bye-bye: Spike. Damn. Jamie wasn't even on the chopping block because she didn't compete. But really that's her team's fault for not forcing her ass to serve her nasty stuff. And Spike shouldn't bitch about Angelo messing with his dish -- knock the douche out!!

I Love Random Stuff

The Under Underground series is always good on Saturday Night Live. Holy crap - this one had me on the floor crying. Literally!

Between this and some kickass Eminem performances, this is shaping up to be a good episode!

Top Chef All-Stars

Quickfire Challenge: Team mise-en-place and dish prep race. Always love those races. This time they're doing lamb, garlic, and artichokes. Richard, Spike, Trey, and Stephen won.

Elimination Challenge: Each team eats at a fabulous NYC restaurant and then each individual makes a dish that would be suitable for that restaurant. Two people will be sent home.

Big Fatty Stephen is a connoisseur of fine NYC dining. This comes as no surprise. Fabio has to make French-Vietnamese. Well, he's screwed.

Winner: Asian Dale. YAY! Asian Dale's the man, and his egg-dumpling breakfast dish looked cool.

Bye-bye: Stephen and Gay Dale. Wow, Fabio really skated by. Thank god I don't have to look at Stephen's fat face anymore.

Tron: Legacy

Honestly, I only saw this movie because I am a Supportive Wife and it has a Daft Punk soundtrack. And you know what? It wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. It was actually enjoyable, which is high praise from me when it comes to Tron.

We watched the original the weekend prior to seeing this. I had never seen it, and for good reason - if it's not something you saw as a kid and are nostalgic for, then there's no point in watching horribly dated special effects. It just becomes laughable. I have a feeling that's why you apparently can't find it in stores anywhere (we've had a copy forever, natch). Disney probably doesn't want you associating the new version with the old one.

Anyway, the movie's really all about the style and special effects, and they're cool. If you don't see it in IMAX 3D I don't imagine there's any good reason to see it. I don't get the story - never have - you can get sucked into the world of the computer where programs are like people and fight and play games? Really? Whatever. But when there are cool light-cycle chase scenes and dance-fighting mixed with a killer techno Daft Punk soundtrack, you buy in.

So if you've got a couple hours to spare you could see a lot worse. Or I suppose you could just listen to the soundtrack.

It's a Christmas Miracle

Been a long time since I've done a personal post (this blog often gets the shaft in favor of quick-and-easy (read: lazy) Facebook), but I had a special occasion this week when Kim and Jackson visited. Jack's 20 months old, and somehow already knows all of his colors. Also, thanks to Aunt Jen, he also knows "Move", "Yeah", and "Me me me me me." I swear I don't recall teaching him that last one, but it sounds like something I'd say, so he probably just heard it and picked it up. He also enjoyed Baby's First Steak 'n Shake Milkshake and lots of good times at the local playground.

Jen's House might not have toys, but it has ducks, birds, tall grasses that tickle your face, and rocking chairs. That picture of him with the grass is so cute - he loved it there!







Jack also loved my bed - which got a lot of use on Saturday thanks to a rainstorm that ruined Flamingo Gardens plans. Snug-A-Bug!!





Of course, the biggest toy of all is Uncle Mike.





Speaking of Uncle Mike, he had the brilliant idea of taking Jack to The Rainforest Cafe. Here's a picture of what that looked like for the first half hour or so. (But it got better later, promise.)



Thanks for visiting - glad you guys got a couple days of sunny, hot weather!!

I Love FOX

I love that FOX has made a parody commercial about Fringe's new Friday Death Slot. This gives me hope, OK?

The Challenge: Cutthroat: Reunion

Paula has dark hair and looks like an even older cougar than she used to. Tyler still loves the deep V's. Abram's dressed like a polar bear. Really. If Tori announces she's pregnant I will vomit.

Laurel's end-of-season pledge to be nicer didn't stick. She immediately says she'll never do a challenge again because she doesn't want to share money with a bunch of assholes she hates. She says they all sucked and Abram copped out. I'm pretty sure she and Paula are drinking. Heavily. Paula might actually be high as a kite. I hate her, but that old bitch needs help.

Eric comes out halfway through so Laurel's dumb, disgusting ass can defend herself for the awful things she said about him on the show. She's clearly a mean drunk. Laurel claims she felt bad and apologized, but Eric threw her under the bus for doing the exact opposite of apologizing. I hate her. Tyler jumps in, saying they should stop reliving the past. Really? Because it's a Reunion Show, dumbass!! Maria freaking Menounos gets into it with Tyler, it's all a mess. Abram gets choked up and leaves the stage, saying that everyone's character sucks. I love him!!! Remember when Abram used to be the giant, fighting asshole? And now he's the righteous one!

Laurel cries and apologizes, but I don't buy it for a second. It seems really fake. Plus she's drunk.

I hate Laurel so much, but I sure hope she's on the next Challenge!

The Challenge: Cutthroat

We open with Tyler v. Derrick in the Gulag.

Bye-bye: Derrick. Damn, I guess fatties are better at the pushing game than midgets.

Now it's Emily v. Paula. At this point, MTV screwed up and somehow skipped right through a segment. So when we comes back it's over and Paula is gone.

So it's only Jenn and Emily on the Blue Team. That's effed up.

The final Challenge is over 12 miles long, with checkpoints (oh, I'm sorry, Czech Points). Sarah starts crying before the race even begins, knowing she's not a long-distance runner. TJ follows along on his bike, it's adorable. He's taunting/encouraging the teams along the way.

Abram gets heatstroke or something along the way, passing out, seizing, and puking. Somewhere around the violent puking, his team decides he needs help. He gets taken out on a stretcher, and TJ bikes over to let his team know to continue without him. Some time later, Sarah starts puking her everloving guts out. Now that team's down to Luke, Laurel, and Cara Maria.

Winners: Dunbar, Tori, Brad, and Tyler. Ugh. Worst. Winners. Ever.

It's Not All Bad!

I love this couple too!

Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are expanding their family.

The actress, 40, is pregnant with her third child, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.

Connelly and The Tourist star Bettany, 39, are already parents to son Stellan, 7, as well as Kai, 13, from her previous relationship with David Dugan.

source

I Go Away For One Second....

Seriously, I leave work for an hour and come back to this devastating news. What's next? Brangelina?

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds have separated.

"After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we've decided to end our marriage," they say in a joint statement. "We entered our relationship with love and it's with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn't expected, it's certainly appreciated."

source

Top Chef All-Stars

Is that a Jonas Brother? What the hell has this show come to? Goddamn. At least it was the good-looking one.

Quickfire Challenge: Create a midnight snack for kids to eat when they spend the night at the Museum of Natural History. I used to spend the night at a museum growing up - it was so fun! I couldn't do it now - I mean, I ain't sleeping on no hard floors anymore - but it was fun then.

I like Asian Dale's idea of lacing his corn cakes with Nyquil. And also Gay Dale's idea of making crack for kids - a ball of just about every chocolatey, sugary thing he could think to combine. I just realized there are 2 Dales. Good thing one's gay and one's Asian so I can tell them apart. Tiffany's Rice Krispies/S'mores thing looked amazing. I might have to try to make something similar.

There's a tie (allegedly) between Tiffany and Spike (his fresh carrot chips look the bomb), so they have to pick teams and then make it for the kids to decide.

Winner: Tiffany and her sugar bombs. Oh yeah, there are 2 of those too. The Ginger One.

Elimination Challenge: Make breakfast for the kids and their parents using whatever they've got in the kitchen. The menus are to be inspired by 2 dinosaur diets - one carnivorous, one herbivorous(?). Tiffany gets a choice and she picks carnivorous - not realizing that means just meat and animal products - zippy herbs, zippy flour. Oops.

Guests judge (besides the kids): Katie Lee No-Longer-Joel, Ms. Robohost from the first season. How dare she show her plastic face and monotone voice here again!

Winner: Team Brontosaurus. Their stuff definitely looked better - you can do a lot more with delicious fruits, veggies, and herbs than you can with just meat, eggs, and cheese.

Jennifer is a flaming bitch. She was never this bad before, was she? She was hella rude to the judges and sarcastic and bitchy. Don't get me wrong - I love it, but Jesus, girl, you suck.

Bye-bye: Jennifer. Wow. I didn't think they'd get rid of her. At least keep her around to be bitchy. She's really good. But hey, your stuff sucked this time. She's hysterical though - she walks through the door and starts ranting and screaming off-screen. It's great.

The Challenge: Cutthroat

I've got 2 episodes to catch up on, because once again I forget this show is in my DVR. It's a two-parter anyway so it's better this way. I mean, I just wouldn't be able to live for a week with a cliffhanger! /sarcasm

Tori and Brad bitch at each other, boring challenge, blah blah blah.

Gulag: Tori v. Theresa (who?) and Johnny v Tyler.

Tori considers losing the Gulag on purpose because she doesn't think she can do the final challenge - she assumes it will involve a lot of running - and this way at least Brad can win for them. And their puppy.

At least we have Special Guests at the Gulag to liven things up - CT and Tina. CT's left eye looks bloody - is he ever not all busted up? Each contestant has to go up against our Special Guest - and whoever does better gets to stay.

In the Gulag, they're strapped to each other's backs and have to make their way over to the side of the ring. It usually involves rolling around and crawling and struggling. But OMG - it's hysterical - CT just stands up and walks with Johnny just flailing on his back like a human backpack. He beats him in 19 seconds. HAHAHAHAHA Johnny sucks. Tyler wins based on the fact that he's a big fattie and CT can't lift him.

Meanwhile, Tina sucks because she loses both matches. No one ever said Tina was athletic, did they? She just has a mouth and punches people.

Bye-bye: Theresa and Johnny.

Time for the next challenge. Tori gets a bloody nose. Waaaaaaahhhhh.

Gulag: Tyler v. Derrick and Paula v. Emily.

Aaaaand it's another "cliffhanger". Whatevs. Is that all we get of Tina and CT? Cuz let's be honest, it's not about what they do in the Gulag, it's about the drunken shenanigans. Oh well.

Fringe

Freak of the Week: A guy cuts out another dude's heart and carries it in a cooler. The heartless guy was alive for a little while too. While heartless.

Olivia reports to work and gives Broyles the rundown of what happened Over There. She even fills him in on Other Broyles, but yet doesn't mention the tight black tee shirts. Missed opportunity, bitch.

The Team goes to investigate the now-dead heartless guy. Well, he's dead, but not decomposing like he should be. And in the meantime, the guy who took his heart has implanted it into a girl. He's been doing this a lot lately, taking back all of the organs the girl had donated after her suicide. Next up: corneas. Oh god, not the eyes!!! Not only do we have to see the surgery, but we see the dude after -- walking around with empty eye sockets. Oh the humanity!!

Peter and Olivia have the whole "I thought she was you" conversation and I LOVED IT! It was the most eagerly-anticipated confession since the Peter/Walter one. Oh, their interaction as he explains that he came back for her, and started seeing Faux-livia... I don't even want them to be together and I was holding my breath! Because there's nothing better than angsty, double-heartbreak! She took it well, but you could tell it bothered her. Then when she goes home she freaks out, disturbed by the fact that someone else was all up in her clothes and bed and stuff. Poor, poor Olivia. We never see her break down. She's a real girl with real insecurities! I've also gotta say that their interactions after the conversation are so authentically awkward and dismissive. It's perfection.

Anyway, back to our killer -- he's freaky as hell. He's reassembling this girl - and it's not even his daughter (which adds extra creepiness). He dresses her up in a ballet outfit and strings her up like a marionette. It's really effed up. Once he's done with that freakshow, he reanimates her. For real. It's pretty horrifying - she doesn't do much other than stare and look shocked. Poor thing just wanted to die and this asshole brings her back. By the time the team gets there, the girl has died (again) and the killer is freaked out too because she wasn't the same girl he remembered. He said he looked into her eyes and knew it wasn't her -- and that freaks out Olivia because Peter didn't know the difference. So they have ANOTHER heartbreaking conversation, where she says Faux-livia ruined everything, that she doesn't want to be with Peter anymore. The pain!!!

In the end, the Observer is back, observing (natch) Walter and Peter.

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: Strawberry milkshake with extra whipped cream. It's what he needs after a day like today.

This Week's Code: ADAPT.

Here's what I have to adapt to -- waiting until January 21 for a new one -- when it moves to the Friday Death Slot. UGH! This show is SO GOOD!

Top Chef All-Stars

I'm so excited about this show because they really did pick the best chefs from past seasons! Like, every single one of these people is good! Yay! I'm expecting awesomeness -- and heartbreak at every elimination.

Stephen the Sommelier is fat as shit. That's the sign of a good chef. Casey and Jamie are still hot as ever - girl crushes in full effect. I still can't believe that Richard actually lost his season. OMG! I love Dale! It's really the perfect storm of awesome chefs, fun people, and personalities you want to murder (Tiffany, Angelo). The production even seems sleeker - new graphics and all. Is this the first time it's in HD or something? Everything just seems brighter and better.

Quickfire: Battle of the Seasons. Chefs work as a team within their season, making a dish based on their city. Richard makes mustard ice cream - OF COURSE HE DOES - to go with their deconstructed Chicago hot dog. *puke* Chicago wins.

Elimination Challenge: Make a dish using the same ingredients from the dish for which you got eliminated. That's cool. They can't deviate too much from what they did before. Spike even has to use frozen scallops again!

Criticism of the Day: Anthony Bourdain says Fabio's dish looks like an inside-out animal. And he was right!

Richard gets disqualified for the win because he was plating after the timer went off. Rules are rules, you skinny ass. (Seriously, chefs shouldn't lose weight.) So aside from him, Spike, Angelo, and Jamie are in the top.

Winner: Angelo.

Fabio, Stephen, and Elia are at the bottom. I have no problem with any of those - they all botched things pretty thoroughly. I feel bad because Stephen had to re-do Restaurant War recipes when he wasn't really responsible for them in the first place. Fabio bitched at Bourdain for bitching at him. Given these choices, I'd boot Elia.

Bye-bye: Elia. Yay! She didn't cook her fish properly and didn't improve her dish. Plus she was a stuck-up bitch about it. Adios, amiga!

Fringe

We begin with a replay of the epic scene where Peter finds out Olivia is trapped on the other side. After a couple hours of staring at the clock, Pacey walks out to the living room. I'm not even going to mention that he's in his underwear. Nope, not at all. (Hey, Olivia's been in hers enough on this show!) He starts snooping around her computer, and it doesn't take long for her to wake up and realize she's been caught.

She holds a gun on him and makes him inject himself with something to paralyze him for a few hours. Then Faux-livia heads to the Otherworldly Typewriter to let the other side know her cover's been blown and she needs extraction.

We get a combo credits sequence - both blue and red. SWEET!

Once Peter is himself again he calls in Broyles and Walter. Faux-livia left her laptop behind and took Peter's matching one by mistake, so now they gotta hack in there and see what's what.

Other Universe Time. Walternate's ready to switch the Olivias, but wants Olivia's brain first - for study. So they gonna cut the bitch apart and send her over dead!

Our Universe: Walter works on trying to figure out a way to crossover... while eating a bigass Portuguese pastry. Using said pastry, they determine where Faux-livia has been buying them - next to the Otherworldly Typewriter Shop. They get the last message from the typewriter's carbon or whatever, and determine where her rendezvous point is.

Other Universe: Broyles owes Olivia a solid for saving his son, so he feels compelled to help her. He visits her before her big surgery, and she begs him to get her into the water tank again, but he leaves. The bone saw starts up and then Broyles comes in to rescue her. They get to the lab... but the water tank no longer holds water. SECURITY ALARMS!

Olivia says they've got to try Walternate's lab in Boston, which will surely have a tank. It's always smart to have spares.

Here: Faux-livia meets up with a Shapeshifter, and he injects her a few times with something, but the team is hot on her tail. Faux-livia holds a chick hostage when she's caught, but Peter pieces together that the hostage is actually the Shapeshifter. Good thing he's right, because he pops her in the head. Faux-livia? Caught and cuffed.

There: Broyles and Olivia get to the lab, and, conveniently, it is pretty much like Our Lab. Olivia, having been in this thing 100 times, knows just what to do. She's got the whole salt/drug ratio down. They get caught just as Olivia gets in the tank, and there may have been some shooting, and Other Broyles might be dead.

Here: Astrid's in the lab when there's a splashing in the tank. Guess who's back???

In the meantime, Faux-livia crosses over from within the van -- and when she crosses over, she is exchanged with Other Broyles' dead, mutilated body. Broyles' face when he sees this is pretty damn priceless. R.I.P. Ripped, tight-black-tee-shirt-wearing Other Broyles. Loved ya!

That last piece of the Doomsday Machine that Faux-livia was gathering? Is now in the possession of someone over here who works for the guys over there.

This Week's Code: CROSS.

Hmmmm. That was all too-quickly wrapped up for me. I need an epic, 3-hour crossing-over episode! Though it looks like Olivia suffers some repercussions next week. Next week's episode looks like a return to a creepy, freak of the week case, but there's no way this universe stuff is over. Not yet. For God's sake - I need more Charlie!

The Event

The dude who was after Leila comes to and Sean threatens to kill him if he doesn't get answers. Only we all know he won't pull the trigger. Instead, he injects the guy with a syringe the guy had on him, a syringe meant for Leila. It makes the dude age. Too bad Leila wasn't injected - we could be rid of her quicker.

The Newly-Old Dude says they need to go to Willow Brook Hospital, but then he dies. So That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend head there, hoping to find Leila's sister. It's a mental hospital where the employees play fast and loose with privacy rules - Leila easily find a list of patients and pretends one of them is her aunt so they can enter the facility.

Sean snoops around while Leila asks the crazy woman if there are any kids at the hospital. But Sean is quickly caught, in one of those poorly-lit back hallways that all hospitals have. As they are escorted off the premises, another patient yells to them that there are indeed kids there, that he can hear them under the floor. Guess they'll need to find a way back in.

Aaaaaand, of course they do - they sneak in at night while the janitor's taking out trash. In the elevator, Sean uses the key card with the triangle on it to access lower floors. More poorly-lit hallways - the kind where the lights are flickering. Oh, show, you love the cliches. They find a bunch of rooms that have been recently- and hurriedly-vacated by children. Leila makes the smart move of screaming her sister's name, running the hall and trying to find her. She finds a room where "LEILA" is written on the wall. IDK, if I'm kidnapped I'm not going to write my sister's name on the wall. This girl must be just as smart as her sister.

They pick through some burned case files and luckily find one mostly intact. It's a file on that kidnapped-kid's father - containing multiple photos that show the dad hasn't aged. And there's another intact file - Leila's dad's. He's an alien dun-dun-duuuuun. It's really helpful that all of these photos are dated with a handwritten label. Thank god.

President Underwood and Sterling visit the VP in the hospital. The VP pulls the whole, "I have a head injury, I don't recall" bit when asked who was behind the assassination attempt. They're pulled away for a national security emergency - a missile has been discovered on satellite photos, in some fake country. Or at least no country I've ever heard of. Sterling says it's got to be terrorists making the missile.

Meanwhile, Sophia, Thomas, Alien Asian Hottie, and Thomas's duplicitous girlfriend from last week are hanging out. That chick shot herself in the knee last week - why are they making her sit on the ground Indian-style doing some weirdass tea ceremony? Hasn't she been through enough?

Sophia is suspicious of Thomas and his GF, and wants AAH to follow the money, find out what Thomas is up to. AAH finds Thomas's banker dead in his bathtub. Well, that's one way to get rid of the money trail.

As the President, et al. watch satellite video of the missile installation (it's a Middle Eastern country, natch), we see that Thomas and his GF are the ones behind it. The special effects are... special... as the missile is launched. The U.S. isn't the target though, and the missile isn't carrying the nuclear payload they thought it was. Instead, what they've done is launch a communications satellite. Thomas is phoning home.

Hey, whatever happened to those crappy flashbacks this show used to have? I mean, they were crappy, but at least be consistent.

The Event

A signal is sent out to the aliens living among us (via text message, natch), and they all gather in a hotel ballroom with Thomas and Sophia, like they're having a goddamned conference. There are a lot of them.

Sophia lays out the plan to go home, but most of the aliens like Earth just fine, thank you very much. Thomas is banging a fellow alien who wants him to be the leader... and shoot his own mother in the face. There's a super long, boring setup, as Thomas and Mommy travel to pick up some part that's vital to their returning home. Just shoot this Botoxed bitch in the face already! Surprise, surprise - he can't kill Mommy, even for a sweet piece of cougar ass and all the power in the world.

In exchange for her betrayal, Sophia gives the cougar a choice: be ostracized from the alien community or shoot yourself in the knee. Shoot yourself in the knee? What kind of deal is that? She shoots herself in the knee. The Mama's Boy watches from the car.

That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend call his FBI agent buddy (remember her?) to discuss the missing girls. FBI agent says that one missing girl recently returned home. How convenient! Time to hit the road once again and drive to Tulsa!

Sean and Leila talk to the girl's mother, and then the little girl comes out, saying she knows Leila's sister. But her overprotective parents freak out and kick Sean and Leila out. That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend then do an absolutely horrific job of following the family when they drive off. Like, way to be obvious, lurking at the bottom of the driveway and following one car length behind.

When they stop at a gas station, Leila confronts the mom and girl in the bathroom to try to talk some sense into them without Daddy Buttinsky around. It's then that we see the girl's face clearly, and she looks like an old woman. The girl says that they were being held at a hospital, and that there was a triangle symbol on the drugs the kids were shot up with. Also, there was a water tower. I'm guessing Leila and Sean will put this together in 6 seconds, like they always do.

But Hal Holbrook sent someone after the girl as well, and he's doing a shite job of casually following as well. In the ensuing chase - a chase which leads from the gas station through a field of dead corn stalks - Sean takes on the gunman, even with his wasn't-it-just-severe injury.

Oh but wait - he wasn't there for the little old girl -- he was there for Leila. So Leila was "the girl that got away" - whatevs.

In other news, the VP isn't dead yet. Snore. Ooooo Fall Finale next week - goody!

The Challenge: Cutthroat

For whatever reason, I always watch the opening credits even though I am insanely bothered by 2 things: 1) the Eurotrash techno soundtrack and 2) that look Tyler gives. UGGGGHHH!

The Challenge is a crazy-high tightrope challenge, and only one team is able to have everyone make it across.

Gulag: Dunbar v. Dan and Camila v. Laurel and Laurel's moustache. Laurel's bitter, of course, because she's a giant C. Her rants actually make me laugh. Does she know this is just a dumb game on MTV?

Camila has plans to win the Gulag and then come back and throw the next Challenge to screw her team.

Bye-bye: Dan (hey, you stayed sober on this show - you're the big winner) and Camila. So much for a good sabotage, it's the only thing I had to look forward to in this game.

Fringe

Other Universe Freak of the Week: Creepy old man shaves his creepy old head. Kid sees a monster in his closet. It's the creepy old man, in a silver mask, who steals the kid. Um, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight, what with my closet next to my bed and all.

The Fringe Division has jurisdiction over the kidnapping because of the Peter Bishop Act. The team has seen this happen before -- it's the Candyman. Not only that - the Candyman had kidnapped Broyles' son a while back. The kids are always returned, but they're basically drained of immune systems. Olivia's seen this before -- the dude is stealing the kids' youth in order to reverse-age.

Olivia interviews Broyles' sickly, blind kid. At first I thought the kid was a shite actor, but then he got all good and weepy and almost made me cry! Cute kid! She gets some more information from him and then her badass self tracks the Candyman down and kills him. She also figures out that there's a creepy Reverend behind the whole thing. The creepy Reverend breaks into Broyles' house to terrorize his kid again, but Broyles gets home just in time.

In the meantime, Olivia also slipped up by identifying herself as "FBI" to the kidnapped kid. Broyles hears this, and is all, "You know who you are, don't you?" But he lets it go because he owes Olivia a solid for saving his kid.

Since Faux-livia's mission is almost complete over in Our World, Walternate plans to have Olivia pulled from duty in the morning... because they don't need her anymore! No! Don't throw her away!

But meanwhile, Olivia gets our favorite taxi driver, Bubs, to help her break in to Walternate's lab so she can get back in the water tank and get home. Go, Olivia! Go home! This wily bitch actually drugs herself and pulls it off - she's back in Our Universe's souvenir shop. She says something to a woman who works there as she's pulled back. Walternate looks at her in disgust and tells his people to lock her up.

Now we're back in Our Universe and Pacey and Faux-livia are all cuddly in bed. Until Peter gets a phone call -- from the souvenir shop woman. She has a message for him: Olivia is trapped in the Other Universe.

I JUST SQUEALED MY ASS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's all coming out, man! Peter's got this!!!! That bitch is going down!!!!

Why do we have to have Thanksgiving and a week off?????

This Week's Code: ESCAPE.

Green Lantern Trailer

En espanol... let's hope this kicks ass, OK? I'm a Ryan Reynolds fan anyway, but this looks killer. I'm excited!



Edited to add: Trailer on Apple now. All English, the way god intended.

The Event

We're blaming Brazil for the airplane disaster? Really? Brazil? The government/media is also telling us that Daddy the Pilot died, even though he's currently being interrogated by President Underwood. Damn, the President does his own interrogating of suspects now? The Pilot tells him that the people who forced him to pilot the plane almost didn't go through with it, but got a go-ahead call at 8:01 PM - a few minutes after the President's alien briefing meeting ended. In flashback, we see that the VP gave Hal Halbrook the order to go ahead with the assassination attempt. Of course he did, those VPs are always wily jackasses.

It doesn't take the President long to figure out the VP was against him, but knows that someone else has to be pulling the strings. The VP is a runaway though (like, literally, he slipped his Secret Service detail), so the President won't get a chance to interrogate him next.

That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend are still on the run I guess. Sean gets shot, but it's not in the head - GODDAMMIT! - so he's OK. He talks His Dumb Girlfriend through starting a car with a screwdriver. I don't think I could do that even with a diagram. Sean can't go to the hospital since he's a wanted man. Fingers crossed he bleeds out!! So Dumb Girlfriend kidnaps a doctor at gunpoint. She's a smart one.

Hey, when did they end up in Atlanta? That Dumb Bitch takes the doctor in to a Walgreens to stock up on surgical supplies. I love how the pharmacist barely flinches when the doctor orders the stuff. Is it that common for doctors to buy their own supplies at Walgreens? By the time they come back out to the car, Sean is gone. I guess he saw the Atlanta PD and decided bleeding out on the street was a better option than just laying low in the car? That's where the doctor and Leila find him - bleeding out in an alley. Well, this is as good a place as any to perform surgery. And with Dumb Girlfriend as the Dumb Physician's Assistant! The doctor can't find the artery. Yeah, no shit - it's dark outside and you're in an alley with no lighting. Oy vey. The Miracle Doctor stitches him up and, after 3 stitches, pronounces that he'll be fine. Awesome.

The President has a crystal dish shaped like the Capitol filled with what looks like black and white jellybeans on his desk. I find myself fascinated by this.

Hal Holbrook orders the Assassin Chick to kill the VP. He had a whole conversation with the VP earlier, but I was more fascinated by the jellybeans, so I didn't pay attention to it. And even though he's a runaway, Assassin Chick finds him. But she doesn't kill him, instead she wants to work with the VP to turn in Hal Holbrook.

The VP, being the weak douche he is, calls President Underwood and says he's turning himself in, that he thought he was doing what was right for the country. He only says that "Eli" is involved - and then he's killed (presumably) by a car bomb, Hal Holbrook's backup plan.

At the very end, we see Hal Holbrook stand before a mirror, reverse-age, and then age again. WTF. Hey that reminds me - what about those freaky girls from last week?

Unstoppable

I thought I had seen every action movie setup known to man. There was even that one movie where the refrigerated truck had to stay cold, wasn't there? But here's a new one: a runaway train. I'd love to say Unstoppable was about more than a runaway train, but... it really wasn't.

Don't get me wrong, I actually loved this movie. Like, really enjoyed it for what it was. But that's not to say I wasn't laughing half the time. Sometimes it felt like a big joke Tony Scott and Denzel Washington were pulling on Hollywood. Like they didn't think anyone would actually fund it and then, when they did, they had to go through with it. But even if it were a joke, those 2 know how to make a movie. Throw in Chris Pine as the young whippersnapper and Rosario Dawson and Kevin Corrigan to make me happy and you've got the makings of a good movie.

A lot of the movie is told through news reports, and sometimes that gets annoying. It relies on the news for a lot of exposition. But then you realize that, really, that's the age we live in. News reporters would be on the scene quickly, news helicopters would be flying inches from the speeding train, and there would be computer animations of impending explosions.

Unstoppable has all of the action movie cliches, only this time with trains. This parody from Saturday Night Live is pretty dead-on. And you've gotta love it for the mindless fun.

The Challenge: Cutthroat

I’m 2 episodes behind! Let’s go!

Dan’s starting to waver in his sobriety, and is thinking about drinking again. No, really? Can’t imagine how that would happen.... He calls his mommy to help him. Well, look at that – someone made a mature decision in the house! And even though I expect it not to hold, it does. For now anyway.

There’s a lot of gay oral sex talk going on, but tragically it’s just talk – a debate as to whether it’s gay or not. Yeah, Ty, it’s gay. So do it!

Blah blah swimming challenge is boring blah blah. Until Chet gets a concussion and goes white – and I mean WHITE – even for Chet. He looks like a zombie – it’s freaking awesome! And then of course the black dude can’t swim and Brandon has to be rescued in the water. Stop living up to stereotypes, man!

Ty does his usual thing where he overreacts and Emily does her usual thing where she eggs him on and then gets mad when he overreacts and a plant ends up in someone’s bed. Yawn. Someone slap somebody!

Gulag: Ty v. Brandon and Katie v. Camila.

Bye-bye: Katie and Ty. His team gets hella pissed when he just lays down but, um, it looked like he was literally exhausted. Just cuz he can’t turn as white as Chet did? Assholes. That’s 2 Blues down.

At the start of the next episode, Chet returns from the hospital, but is sent home because of his head injury. Bye-bye: Chet.

Since you’d assume Brandon loves to live up to stereotypes, the Red Team chooses him to do the part of the challenge that basically involves shooting a basketball. But Brandon shows those racists –– he doesn’t make any baskets. You go boy! The Gray Team wins just as they did last episode.

Gulag: Emily v. Melinda and Derrick v. Brandon. The Red Team sucks – just because their racist asses volunteered Brandon to shoot baskets, they blame him for their loss.

Brad gets his panties in a bunch because Camila voted for him, and of course Tori’s panties follow. So now they have it out for Camila. So what – Brad didn’t get sent to the Gulag anyway. That Red Team stinks.

Bye-bye: Melinda (duh) and Brandon (duh). Now the Red Team REALLY stinks.

Fringe

Freak of the Week: People still use shortwave radios? I guess so, because a bunch of people around the world are using them in some kind of shortwave radio chatroom. They all receive a transmission of numbers, have a seizure and, get amnesia.

Peter and Faux-livia are all cozied up with breakfast in bed as if they're in a lovely, long-term relationship, until duty calls. I'm not too gung-ho about Peter and Olivia hooking up, but I'm OK with it this way since it's not really Olivia. Just makes for more angst once that's revealed!

Walter's pissed at Peter because he's still working on the Otherworldly Peter Death Machine. Nina has a heart-to-heart with Walter over some weed, telling him he should let Peter continue his investigation.

The shortwave radios pick up number broadcasts, some kind of codes transmitted by who knows who. But along with the numbers, some dude is transmitting a pulse that gave them amnesia. He does it again later with a transmission to the pilot of a small plane.

The investigation leads to the First People - people before the dinosaurs. The numbers are the keys to the universe, and the dude wants to keep people from discovering what they mean.

Faux-livia goes to see the dude, who is from the Other Universe, working for Walternate, to scold him for being sloppy. Just as he's about to be discovered, Faux-livia pushes him out of a window and he splatters onto the ground at Broyles's and Peter's feet, leaking mercury. He was a shapeshifter.

Astrid, kind of channeling Other Astrid, cracks the code. The numbers represent several locations around the world. The closest one is in New Jersey, and buried deep beneath the ground (wow, they really took a chance that Astrid was right - they dug a bigass hole) is a large stone thing containing part of a machine. One of the locations is also Walter's old house in Massachusetts. The locations are all pieces of Walternate's Death Device.

At the end, Faux-livia receives instructions through the Otherworldly Typewriter. Initiate Phase Two.

Walter's Line of the Week: "I feel a bowel movement coming on." Goddammit, Walter, that was just unnecessary!

Walter's Food Thing of the Week: Cucumber and cheese sandwich - the best food for thought, as developed by Walter. It worked on Astrid!

This Week's Code: DECAY.

The Event

Alien Asian Hottie is injured but not dead, and Sterling goes to visit him, intent on finding out who the mole is. He's still unconscious, but The Dude in the Trunk is discovered and tells everyone that Simon is the bad guy. Sterling decides to investigate a bit, and notices that Simon hasn't aged since he was hired. He's not just a mole - he's an alien! Time for a DNA test, and time for Thomas to go in and switch out the blood samples. At the same time, another alien mole plants incriminating evidence at the coffeeshop with The Dude in the Trunk's fingerprints. It's all so convenient how everyone knows what everyone else is doing and how to stop it.

Simon regains consciousness, and Sterling tells him that he passed his DNA test, and that Murphy is the mole. Shouldn't they now DNA test that dude to confirm? No? Well, I guess if they did someone would just swoop in and change the samples anyway.

In the Land of People I Cannot Stomach, the reporter tells That Annoying Prick Sean and His Dumb Girlfriend all of her alien conspiracy theories, and digs through Dumb Girlfriend's dad's stuff. She finds a list of names and numbers - which of course they determine are codes, codes that That Annoying Prick Sean can crack.

You know what I'd love? If he worked really hard to figure out what the code was but then it turned out that it wasn't anything. Just a list. Alas, The Reporter takes them to one of those high-tech conspiracy dudes who has some kind of great encrypted system that will help Sean. The names are girls who have gone missing and the numbers refer to shell corporations. Mmm-kay.

Wait - Hal Holbrook is alive? He must be -- because he's on this show -- but I'd swear he died a year ago. He's the dude behind DB Sweeney and the whole Let's Kidnap Leila and/or Sean Movement. One of his teams hunts Sean and Leila down just after they crack the code, but those two wily idiots escape, albeit separated from The Conspiracy Nuts.

Dumb Girlfriend's sister is still alive, being held with other little girls -- but they're not just little girls! They're like deformed freaky people! OK, that actually scared me.

Over on the alien side of things, we learn that Sophia is Thomas's mother. They need some nuclear material in order to transport themselves back home.

Pointless Flashback of the Week: 14 years ago, Sterling was in love with a chick who turned out to be a Russian spy. When he got the heads-up from his daddy (who was also in the CIA), he confronted her and wanted to run away with her. But of course she wasn't having any of it. She didn't love you for your looks, you jackass. As she tried to run away, his daddy shot and killed her, letting Sterling take the credit for catching her.

Fringe

Well, that break wasn't so bad. My show is back! And it's Other Universe time!

A guy cuts his way through one of those amber resin quarantine areas, freeing his twin brother and resuscitating him. Meanwhile, that area had been quarantined for 4 years. People stay alive in that amber? That's freaky! Secretary Walternate doesn't want word getting out that people trapped in amber are basically alive, so Fringe Division has to find the twins.

There's a bunch of twins-swapping and Olivias-swapping parallel stuff going on in this episode. And Olivia keeps having Visions of Peter telling her she's from another universe, which she tries to chase away by self-medicating with something.

Because she isn't going through enough already, Walternate puts Olivia through a series of tests to see if she's capable of crossing over between universes. Time to get back in the water tank with the crazy drugs! Over here, there's a nicer tank though, not that cobbled-together thing in the Harvard basement.

While she's in the tank the first time, Olivia totally crosses over for a moment and ends up in a souvenir shop. After being harassed by her Vision of Peter, she goes back in the tank, and ends up in the same shop. The shop is in Our Universe because there's a 9/11 reference and no Twin Towers. Olivia picks up the phone and dials the number to her niece. Then she gets sucked back over... and lies to Walternate, saying she saw nothing.

Line of the Night: The Fringe Team are talking about moms making popsicles as kids and Charlie's all, "My mom made me get her cigarettes." I love you, Charlie! And I really like this Fringe Team!!!

This Week's Code: EVENT. No - bad cross-promotion - don't remind me of that crappy show!!

Congress Just Got Real

I knew he was involved in state politics, but now he's coming for DC. Dude - how about his season being 13 years ago? I remember it like it was yesterday. Meanwhile, I need updated pictures of his 6 kids with Rachel.

The glass ceiling for reality stars in Congress has been shattered, thanks to Real World: Boston standout Sean Duffy, a Republican who picked up an open seat in Wisconsin's 7th District during Tuesday's big election.

Duffy, who spent 1997 finding out "what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real," easily defeated state Sen. Julie Lassa for the job in a contest to replace retiring Rep. David Obey, a Democrat who held the seat for 41 years.

The Associated Press declared Duffy the winner, and he thanked supporters at his victory party shortly before midnight. "What a great night in Wisconsin," Duffy belted.

Duffy filled the "conservative Midwesterner" spot on season 6 of the show and later participated in Road Rules. During his stint as a reality TV star, he met and married Real World: San Francisco beauty Rachel Campos. The couple have six children.

Since leaving Boston, Duffy appeared on 2002's version of Real World/Road Rules Challenge and has made occasional appearances as an ESPN color commentator. Until recently he was the district attorney for Ashland County.

The 7th District includes all or part of 20 central and northwestern Wisconsin counties.

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