I am soooo digging this Real World: Las Vegas Reunited Five Years Later stuff. I always thought it would be cool to see Real Worlders years later, just wish it was a better cast. But things look good so far! I am totally shocked that Arissa agreed to do it. I'm sure for every season there would be a holdout or two, and would've pegged her as a holdout.
Five years later and they're still going to fight over rooms? Oh come on, that's so Real World 5. There is definitely some nice awkwardness, mostly due to Irulan and Alton being broken up, not to mention them not speaking with Arissa in years. When Arissa said there was a "situation" among the three of them that "wasn't healthy" I immediately screamed, "Threesome!!!" Alas, it was just a dispute over who hit on who. I wonder what the truth really is. I'd have to bet that Alton hit on Arissa.
Arissa and Irulan start to discuss the situation at the bar and then.... SCREAMING MATCH!!! Those girls went AT it! Then at the end Arissa and Alton were screaming at each other. This is great!
Frank still strikes me as a nerd, yet somehow he's a real playa. I am SO glad that Brynn married that dude Austin. I totally remember him and I totally thought they were cute together. I heart Brynn. And I hate Trishelle. But she didn't really do much this episode.
31 May 2007
Real World: The S They Should Have Shown
The name of this show was very appropriate. 1) They should have shown this stuff. I actually find bodily function discussions more entertaining that the whole season's worth of shows. 2) It was all about S. Crapping in the woods, in the house, with clothes on, and in big padded envelopes in the car.
Some people get hung up on the fact that E.Colie crapped in said envelope, but consider this: She chewed her own toenails!!! That made me want to vomit.
Some people get hung up on the fact that E.Colie crapped in said envelope, but consider this: She chewed her own toenails!!! That made me want to vomit.
Hottie of the Week
The hair, the eyes, the strange yellow blotch on her forehead. It just all works, you know? I don't even know which one this is....
30 May 2007
Guess Where I'm Going in July
No fair guessing if I already told you. Here's one of the rules for the destination:
"If you wear a costume that includes a replica weapon, please keep it attached to the costume. Don't draw it or aim it."
"If you wear a costume that includes a replica weapon, please keep it attached to the costume. Don't draw it or aim it."
I'm Confused Part II
David Hyde Pierce (best known for playing Niles on Frasier) has found success on Broadway, on television, and on the big screen -- and although his sexuality has always been an open secret within the artistic community, he has been reticent to speak to the topic publicly.
That's why it's so surprising to see reference made to his "partner" Brian Hargrove in a recent AP story on Pierce that hit CNN.com recently, among other places. AfterElton.com contacted Pierce's representation, who confirmed that Hargrove is indeed Pierce's life partner.
So, are they saying Niles is gay??? Because last time I checked, this was Earth, not Bizzaro World.
29 May 2007
28 May 2007
Artie Lange: Not Dead Yet!
Howard Stern's sidekick Artie Lange says he's leaving the radio broadcast next January after more than six years with the radio program. Lange made the announcement Thursday, live on the air, stunning his colleagues and even catching Stern off guard.
"I just feel burned out," Lange told The Post. He has been juggling the pre-dawn hours, a brutal stand-up comedy touring schedule, a recurring role on Rescue Me and a guest spot on Entourage.
All the work comes just as Lange tries to battle a long-term drug and alcohol addiction, depression and poor eating habits that have pushed his weight to over 300 lbs. [Editor's note: holy crap!]
During a recent physical, a doctor told Lange that he needed to make some sort of a change in lifestyle or risk death. "I have to find a happy balance . . . none of this is going to be worth it if I drop dead at a Best Western in Milwaukee," he says.
TVGasm
Because Children Aren't Already Scared Enough of Going to the Doctor
A woman who lost both legs and an arm as a child is poised to become a doctor for children.
Kellie Lim, who became a triple amputee at age 8 because of bacterial meningitis, is to graduate from UCLA's medical school on Friday, and she plans to focus on childhood allergies and infectious disease.
The Michigan native, 26, does not use a prosthetic arm and manages to perform most medical procedures -- including giving injections and taking blood -- with one arm. She walks on prosthetic legs.
Kellie Lim, who became a triple amputee at age 8 because of bacterial meningitis, is to graduate from UCLA's medical school on Friday, and she plans to focus on childhood allergies and infectious disease.
The Michigan native, 26, does not use a prosthetic arm and manages to perform most medical procedures -- including giving injections and taking blood -- with one arm. She walks on prosthetic legs.
Pirates: 2 Out of 3 Ain't Bad
Imagine my surprise when I enjoyed Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I had heard mostly negative reviews. Sure, there were about 40 plots, each one more confusing than the next. But I think I noodled it through. Sure, it was looooong - I was in my chair for 3 hours. But it was entertaining. Not as good as the first one, but definitely better than the second. I still can't make it through the second at home. Maybe the secret is Geoffrey Rush. He plays a pirate even better than Johnny Depp does.
If you're not prone to blood clots, I definitely recommend this movie. And if you like monkeys as much as I do. The monkey steals the movie.
27 May 2007
Nectar of the Gods
Just when I think The Coca-Cola Companies couldn't get any better, they go and do something like this.
Catching Up With The Real Worlds
It's a sad time in your life when The Real World Reunion sits on your DVR for about two weeks. I finally got my priorities in line and watched it this afternoon.
It wasn't that great really. I felt like Davis was picking the fight with Stephen about being gay. Didn't they have that resolved? Jenn is an unapologetic slut - gotta respect her for that. The montages of Brooke's freakouts was fun. I like Jenn's and Colie's darker hair. That's about the best thing I can say about it.
Also caught up on The Inferno. Who knew that Timmy was such an inspirational leader? I guess when the subjects are idiots like these, a man who wears bunny ears is a good leader. Love how he "retired" from Challenges. Age finally catches up with our boy.
Speaking of old, right before the show I saw a commercial for Winn-Dixie - starring Mark. You know, Mark from the first season of Road Rules. Mark who bangs a new chick every Challenge. He is now showcasing his acting talents in backyard barbecue ads. Non-speaking role, of course.
It wasn't that great really. I felt like Davis was picking the fight with Stephen about being gay. Didn't they have that resolved? Jenn is an unapologetic slut - gotta respect her for that. The montages of Brooke's freakouts was fun. I like Jenn's and Colie's darker hair. That's about the best thing I can say about it.
Also caught up on The Inferno. Who knew that Timmy was such an inspirational leader? I guess when the subjects are idiots like these, a man who wears bunny ears is a good leader. Love how he "retired" from Challenges. Age finally catches up with our boy.
Speaking of old, right before the show I saw a commercial for Winn-Dixie - starring Mark. You know, Mark from the first season of Road Rules. Mark who bangs a new chick every Challenge. He is now showcasing his acting talents in backyard barbecue ads. Non-speaking role, of course.
You Have NO Idea How Happy This Makes Me
This is the greatest gift I could have received this morning. I was hoping she would die of alcohol poisoning on her 21st birthday, but this is just as good in the meantime.
She fled the scene of the accident. And now they say there was cocaine in the car! I can't contain my joy.....
Lindsay Lohan was cited for investigation of driving under the influence Saturday and was slightly injured when the troubled actress's convertible struck a curb, police said.
Lohan, 20, and two other people were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 when it crashed on Sunset Boulevard around 5:30 a.m., Sgt. Mike Foxen said. "She was cited and released because she has been admitted to a local hospital for minor injuries," Foxen said. No one else was hurt and no other cars were involved, Foxen said. He did not have other details.
She fled the scene of the accident. And now they say there was cocaine in the car! I can't contain my joy.....
25 May 2007
I Guess "Big Fat Lesbians" Are Scared By "Poor Little Elisabeths" After All
ABC has just announced that Rosie O'Donnell will not be back on The View.
"We had hoped that Rosie would be with us until the end of her contract three weeks from now, but Rosie has informed us that she would like an early leave. Therefore, we part ways, thank her for her tremendous contribution to The View and wish her well."
Barbara Walters said: "I brought Rosie to the show. Rosie contributed to one of our most exciting and successful years at The View. I am most appreciative. Our close and affectionate relationship will not change."
For her part, Rosie said: "I'm extremely grateful. It's been an amazing year and I love all three women."
"We had hoped that Rosie would be with us until the end of her contract three weeks from now, but Rosie has informed us that she would like an early leave. Therefore, we part ways, thank her for her tremendous contribution to The View and wish her well."
Barbara Walters said: "I brought Rosie to the show. Rosie contributed to one of our most exciting and successful years at The View. I am most appreciative. Our close and affectionate relationship will not change."
For her part, Rosie said: "I'm extremely grateful. It's been an amazing year and I love all three women."
Golf: More Dangerous Than Ultimate Fighting?
A golfer died Tuesday after his golf cart plunged 75 feet off a cliff and crashed onto a road below. The 65-year-old man teed off with three friends on the second hole of the Pala Mesa Resort Golf Course about 50 miles north of San Diego at around 10 a.m. and then got into his cart.
The vehicle veered off the concrete pathway, traveled down a 25-foot embankment and went over the edge of the cliff, California Highway Patrol spokesman Tom Kerns said.
The victim, a recently retired real estate agent from Irvine, was ejected shortly before the cart hit the road beneath the cliff and died on impact, Kerns said.
The vehicle veered off the concrete pathway, traveled down a 25-foot embankment and went over the edge of the cliff, California Highway Patrol spokesman Tom Kerns said.
The victim, a recently retired real estate agent from Irvine, was ejected shortly before the cart hit the road beneath the cliff and died on impact, Kerns said.
24 May 2007
Who Knew?
John Travolta's son is a gigantic retard. I remember when Jett was born. This dude is HUGE!
Lost: A Truly Excellent Season Finale
Considering all the heartache this show has put me through, I thought this finale was great. Creepy and cool, like the good ol' days.
First off, R.I.P. Chahhhlie. He died very heroically, shutting down the jamming signal and telling Desmond that the boat they think will save them isn't owned by Desmond's girlfriend Penny after all. How heartbreaking to see Desmond catch a glimpse of Penny on the TV screen. Charlie also told Penny that they were survivors of Oceanic flight 815 before the room was flooded.
I hate Jack. I hate visuals of Jack leading the Losties across the island like he is freaking Moses. But seeing him beat the S out of Ben and threaten Tom were the greatest moments. And about time. Also, Hurley driving the Magic Bus onto the beach and taking out the Others, saving my boys Jin and Sayid. Bernard can go screw. Especially after telling the Others the plan. Jackass. Sayid snapped a dude's neck with his legs like the Iraqi Jack Bauer we used to know and love.
Meanwhile, we have Locke, alive in the pit of skeletons. He sees Waaaalllltttt. Walt looks like a kid who has aged two years, even though he's been on the island for a few months. That's OK - it's Lost, rapid aging is possible.
Despite Locke and Ben saying he shouldn't, Jack makes the phone call to the boat and everyone cheers at their impending rescue. Looks like rescue ain't that great though. At the end of the show, we find out Jack's "flashbacks" in this episode have actually been "flashforwards". Jack had a full beard. Because on television a full beard means you are seriously depressed. He's addicted to painkillers and almost jumps off a bridge. He meets up with Kate and he says they should have stayed on the island. He goes to see someone's body in a funeral home, but we don't know whose. Locke, maybe? Kate says she has to get home to "him." Sawyer, maybe?
The good thing about being rescued: unlimited free Oceanic flights. A small price to pay for free flights, man.
First off, R.I.P. Chahhhlie. He died very heroically, shutting down the jamming signal and telling Desmond that the boat they think will save them isn't owned by Desmond's girlfriend Penny after all. How heartbreaking to see Desmond catch a glimpse of Penny on the TV screen. Charlie also told Penny that they were survivors of Oceanic flight 815 before the room was flooded.
I hate Jack. I hate visuals of Jack leading the Losties across the island like he is freaking Moses. But seeing him beat the S out of Ben and threaten Tom were the greatest moments. And about time. Also, Hurley driving the Magic Bus onto the beach and taking out the Others, saving my boys Jin and Sayid. Bernard can go screw. Especially after telling the Others the plan. Jackass. Sayid snapped a dude's neck with his legs like the Iraqi Jack Bauer we used to know and love.
Meanwhile, we have Locke, alive in the pit of skeletons. He sees Waaaalllltttt. Walt looks like a kid who has aged two years, even though he's been on the island for a few months. That's OK - it's Lost, rapid aging is possible.
Despite Locke and Ben saying he shouldn't, Jack makes the phone call to the boat and everyone cheers at their impending rescue. Looks like rescue ain't that great though. At the end of the show, we find out Jack's "flashbacks" in this episode have actually been "flashforwards". Jack had a full beard. Because on television a full beard means you are seriously depressed. He's addicted to painkillers and almost jumps off a bridge. He meets up with Kate and he says they should have stayed on the island. He goes to see someone's body in a funeral home, but we don't know whose. Locke, maybe? Kate says she has to get home to "him." Sawyer, maybe?
The good thing about being rescued: unlimited free Oceanic flights. A small price to pay for free flights, man.
American Idol: the DVR Strikes Back
Well, technically I should be blaming FOX and not my DVR. We watched the first hour of Lost and then switched back to finish AI. Too bad the show ran over and thus the DVR totally cut off the end. You know, the important part. Where they name the freaking winner! Not that I cared that much. So we found out Jordin won by watching the local news.
I had the first hour on in the background. I watched Gwen and Kelly though - they both rocked the joint. And I watched Blake. What can I say? I like beatboxing. I think it takes a lot of talent to make your voice do that. So I loved his performance with Doug E. Fresh.
Tony Bennet's old as dirt but he was awesome too! It was cool to see all the old winners. Good to see Ruben again - he's still alive and kicking. Taylor was really good during that Paul McCartney tribute. So good I was shocked. They all were during that segment.
So AI comes to a close, along with all my other shows. This has been an exhausting May Sweeps! More on Lost later.
23 May 2007
Mo' Visitors in South Florida
Most of the pictures I have from Kim and Mike's visit are of me and Kim. Surprise - we're both obsessed with ourselves, and each other. We took lots of modeling shots.
We spent two days at the beach practicing our best Beyonce poses.
That is the fiercest Kim has ever looked! Tyra would be so proud.
Sure, it was a little gay. But not as gay as these two frolicking in the ocean.
We ate at Emeril's in South Beach on Sunday night. We felt very sophisticated with our big wine glasses.
Thanks for visiting, guys!
We spent two days at the beach practicing our best Beyonce poses.
That is the fiercest Kim has ever looked! Tyra would be so proud.
Sure, it was a little gay. But not as gay as these two frolicking in the ocean.
We ate at Emeril's in South Beach on Sunday night. We felt very sophisticated with our big wine glasses.
Thanks for visiting, guys!
This Movie Will Be the Comedy Hit of the Summer
This film stars my two favorite kids, Michael Cera and Jonah Hill. It's going to be great. "Boop."
Hell's Kitchen Contestant to Find Out What Real Hell is Like
Remember this chick? She was the chef who I thought was a lesbian (I was right!) who had something going on with Heather.
Rachel Brown, 41, the Oak Cliff-based personal chef who became a national celebrity last summer following her appearance on the Fox reality show Hell's Kitchen, was found dead in her family home in Bedford on May 9. The death is currently under investigation. Brown left behind a girlfriend and two cats.
The View is a Giant Cluster-F
This show just gets better and better. By which I mean worse and worse. I love how the audience is 90% on Rosie's side (this time Elisabeth did get some applause, but they resoundly booed her when she brought up Donald Trump). I caught the show Monday and they fought on the same exact topic. These yentas yack away for the first 35 minutes of the show now. This show can't end soon enough!
22 May 2007
American Idol: I Hate My DVR
My DVR cut off Chris Daughtry's performance at the end. DAGGER! I heart Chris Daughtry. Anyway, on with the show....
I didn't fast forward through Ryan's introduction of the judges since I heard Paula broke her nose. Her nose looks fine but she has an S-load of crappy extensions in her hair. She says she tripped over her dog and then Ryan says, "So the bitch is OK." I predict he takes a lot of heat for saying "bitch" on a family show. I hope his head rolls for this! Get Al Sharpton on this immediately! Also, what is Randy wearing? A jacket with chains and buttons all over it. He looks like a superfly French general.
Blake does my favorite beatboxing version of "You Give Love a Bad Name". The crowd goes wild.
Jordin does Christina Aguilera's "Fighter". She's singing too low, she gets off-rhythm in the middle, and she kind of loses her voice at one point. It's not as fierce as it should be. I'm disappointed.
Blake does "She Will Be Loved". He's got the high voice for it; excellent choice. His fan base will eat this up.
Ricky Schroeder is in the audience. He appears to have his sight. Marlee Matlin is in the audience. Ask her who she likes best!!
Jordin does the country song she kicked ass at earlier. And she kicks ass again. She holds the last note for about 8 minutes. She rulz.
Now for the original song. Always the lamest part of an American Idol finale. Blake does fine with it, considering it's not really his style. I can already tell Jordin will do better with it. And she does. It's a ballad more suited to a girl. The fix is in!
Blake will be fine no matter what. He doesn't need this lame title. (See Chris Daughtry.) Jordin should win, even though she cried during the last part of her song. That was a little much. Jordin Sparks has the look, the spunk, the name, and the voice. Go Jordin!
I didn't fast forward through Ryan's introduction of the judges since I heard Paula broke her nose. Her nose looks fine but she has an S-load of crappy extensions in her hair. She says she tripped over her dog and then Ryan says, "So the bitch is OK." I predict he takes a lot of heat for saying "bitch" on a family show. I hope his head rolls for this! Get Al Sharpton on this immediately! Also, what is Randy wearing? A jacket with chains and buttons all over it. He looks like a superfly French general.
Blake does my favorite beatboxing version of "You Give Love a Bad Name". The crowd goes wild.
Jordin does Christina Aguilera's "Fighter". She's singing too low, she gets off-rhythm in the middle, and she kind of loses her voice at one point. It's not as fierce as it should be. I'm disappointed.
Blake does "She Will Be Loved". He's got the high voice for it; excellent choice. His fan base will eat this up.
Ricky Schroeder is in the audience. He appears to have his sight. Marlee Matlin is in the audience. Ask her who she likes best!!
Jordin does the country song she kicked ass at earlier. And she kicks ass again. She holds the last note for about 8 minutes. She rulz.
Now for the original song. Always the lamest part of an American Idol finale. Blake does fine with it, considering it's not really his style. I can already tell Jordin will do better with it. And she does. It's a ballad more suited to a girl. The fix is in!
Blake will be fine no matter what. He doesn't need this lame title. (See Chris Daughtry.) Jordin should win, even though she cried during the last part of her song. That was a little much. Jordin Sparks has the look, the spunk, the name, and the voice. Go Jordin!
24: Better Luck Next Year
This show was horrible. But you have to suffer through it just as I did. So read on.
The plan is for Ricky to drop Josh off with his Grandpa and then recover him, tracking him with an implanted device. Because those always work on this show. Here’s hoping someone cuts off Josh’s arm. Jack calls Karen to convince her that they’re wrong to hand over Josh to Grandpa. Jack’s in temporary custody so he doesn’t interfere with the operation, so Karen calls in the Bill Buchanan reinforcements. Bill runs Jack’s transpo off the road and springs Jack. Bill’s wearing jeans so you know he’s ready for action.
Blah blah drama about Ricky turning Josh over to Grandpa blah blah. Blah blah Chloe and Morris bitching at each other blah blah. This would be 500% more interesting if I gave a damn whether Josh lived or died. Or felt like Jack gave a damn. I mean, he hasn’t seen the kid in years; why does he care?
During the Josh-circuitboard exchange, Grandpa’s henchmen fake the tradeoff and blow a bomb up in Ricky’s face instead. In his face! They say later he’ll be blind in one if not both eyes. So much for taking Jack’s place. The henchmen make off with Josh just as Jack and Bill arrive. They “short out” the tracking device in Josh’s arm. That was easier than amputation.
Because it’s never too late to introduce a new character on this show, Milo’s brother comes to CTU. Makes a lot of sense to waste time on a lame character’s lamer brother. Unless of course he’s brought on for some kind of “shocking twist”. Milo’s brother is cleaning out Milo’s locker and then disappears when Nadia turns away. Uh oh. Ten bucks says he kills somebody in CTU. This is probably the only plot point that HASN’T been repeated this season. Might as well round out the Season of the Recycled Plotlines with yet another.
It should be noted that Chloe has been sulking even more than normal and shuffling around the office like someone shoved something in her ass. Her vision goes all blurry. Right away -- an hour before it’s revealed!! -- Mike says “She’s pregnant.” Soon it becomes glaringly obvious. When Chloe tells Morris, I am shocked -- because no one has ever been pregnant while working at CTU on this show. This means that this season had an original plotline!! Rejoice!!
I see Kim Raver’s name in the second hour’s credits. This both concerns me, and takes away any surprise that might be involved in Audrey’s return.
CTU determines Grandpa and Josh (and Main Chinaman) are on an offshore oil platform. The President plans an air assault on said platform. Bill and Jack decide to steal a helicopter and fly it to said platform. Who knew Bill had this kind of tactical experience? He’s going to pilot the helicopter while Jack grabs an S-load of weapons and a new Messenger Bag of Death. It’s like a video game, with Jack blowing up oil barrels to take people out. They capture the Main Chinaman. Again, this would be more exciting if I cared about the person they were going to save. Or who they were going to kill.
Josh bangs Grandpa over the head with a wrench, takes his gun, and shoots him in the upper chestal region. Maybe Josh can take Jack’s place next season! Jack doesn’t have time (?) to carry Grandpa out of there so he leaves him to die. Doesn’t ask for the circuitboard; just leaves him to die. Bill flies Josh, Jack, and Chang off the platform just in time for a thrilling, huge-ass explosion, minus the “thrilling”. The explosion is good enough for the Russian President. He’s satisfied the circuitboard has been destroyed, and calls off the troops. War With Russia problem? Solved.
Jack jumps off the helicopter and swims to shore. He waves Bill off because, as Bill says to Josh, “He’s not ready to go back yet.” Josh is reunited with his mother and Chinaman is in CTU custody. Hey, where’s Milo’s brother? Shouldn’t he be killing someone right about now? What was the point of the minutes they wasted on him? I lost ten bucks.
Tom convinces Daniels to let Karen and Bill resign so they can retire to their country home in Vermont. They seem like the Vermont type.
In the final scene, Jack breaks into Secretary Heller’s house. Which of course is located in Los Angeles. He holds a gun on him, demanding to see Audrey. This confrontation doesn’t ring true to me. I find it hard to believe that Jack would kill Secretary Heller. What’s his beef with him? He’s offended because Heller called him “cursed”? Sticks and stones, Jack. Sticks and stones. He’s also mad because Heller didn’t do enough to get Jack out of Chinese Prison. Audrey is in the house, medicated in bed and sleeping, and Heller lets Jack into her room. Jack says he has to let her go to keep her safe, or something like that. She is asleep the whole time; this is some of the finest acting Kim Raver has ever done. Jack leaves the house and walks onto the deck overlooking the cliffs at the ocean’s edge. And then there is a silent clock. I’ll bet he jumps…. not at all!
That was absolutely the Lamest Ending Ever for the Lamest Season Ever. Fitting.
Poll: Are you going to give 24 another chance and watch next year? After this crap, it’s going to be tough for me; we’ll see how they hype up next year. This season burned me big time.
The plan is for Ricky to drop Josh off with his Grandpa and then recover him, tracking him with an implanted device. Because those always work on this show. Here’s hoping someone cuts off Josh’s arm. Jack calls Karen to convince her that they’re wrong to hand over Josh to Grandpa. Jack’s in temporary custody so he doesn’t interfere with the operation, so Karen calls in the Bill Buchanan reinforcements. Bill runs Jack’s transpo off the road and springs Jack. Bill’s wearing jeans so you know he’s ready for action.
Blah blah drama about Ricky turning Josh over to Grandpa blah blah. Blah blah Chloe and Morris bitching at each other blah blah. This would be 500% more interesting if I gave a damn whether Josh lived or died. Or felt like Jack gave a damn. I mean, he hasn’t seen the kid in years; why does he care?
During the Josh-circuitboard exchange, Grandpa’s henchmen fake the tradeoff and blow a bomb up in Ricky’s face instead. In his face! They say later he’ll be blind in one if not both eyes. So much for taking Jack’s place. The henchmen make off with Josh just as Jack and Bill arrive. They “short out” the tracking device in Josh’s arm. That was easier than amputation.
Because it’s never too late to introduce a new character on this show, Milo’s brother comes to CTU. Makes a lot of sense to waste time on a lame character’s lamer brother. Unless of course he’s brought on for some kind of “shocking twist”. Milo’s brother is cleaning out Milo’s locker and then disappears when Nadia turns away. Uh oh. Ten bucks says he kills somebody in CTU. This is probably the only plot point that HASN’T been repeated this season. Might as well round out the Season of the Recycled Plotlines with yet another.
It should be noted that Chloe has been sulking even more than normal and shuffling around the office like someone shoved something in her ass. Her vision goes all blurry. Right away -- an hour before it’s revealed!! -- Mike says “She’s pregnant.” Soon it becomes glaringly obvious. When Chloe tells Morris, I am shocked -- because no one has ever been pregnant while working at CTU on this show. This means that this season had an original plotline!! Rejoice!!
I see Kim Raver’s name in the second hour’s credits. This both concerns me, and takes away any surprise that might be involved in Audrey’s return.
CTU determines Grandpa and Josh (and Main Chinaman) are on an offshore oil platform. The President plans an air assault on said platform. Bill and Jack decide to steal a helicopter and fly it to said platform. Who knew Bill had this kind of tactical experience? He’s going to pilot the helicopter while Jack grabs an S-load of weapons and a new Messenger Bag of Death. It’s like a video game, with Jack blowing up oil barrels to take people out. They capture the Main Chinaman. Again, this would be more exciting if I cared about the person they were going to save. Or who they were going to kill.
Josh bangs Grandpa over the head with a wrench, takes his gun, and shoots him in the upper chestal region. Maybe Josh can take Jack’s place next season! Jack doesn’t have time (?) to carry Grandpa out of there so he leaves him to die. Doesn’t ask for the circuitboard; just leaves him to die. Bill flies Josh, Jack, and Chang off the platform just in time for a thrilling, huge-ass explosion, minus the “thrilling”. The explosion is good enough for the Russian President. He’s satisfied the circuitboard has been destroyed, and calls off the troops. War With Russia problem? Solved.
Jack jumps off the helicopter and swims to shore. He waves Bill off because, as Bill says to Josh, “He’s not ready to go back yet.” Josh is reunited with his mother and Chinaman is in CTU custody. Hey, where’s Milo’s brother? Shouldn’t he be killing someone right about now? What was the point of the minutes they wasted on him? I lost ten bucks.
Tom convinces Daniels to let Karen and Bill resign so they can retire to their country home in Vermont. They seem like the Vermont type.
In the final scene, Jack breaks into Secretary Heller’s house. Which of course is located in Los Angeles. He holds a gun on him, demanding to see Audrey. This confrontation doesn’t ring true to me. I find it hard to believe that Jack would kill Secretary Heller. What’s his beef with him? He’s offended because Heller called him “cursed”? Sticks and stones, Jack. Sticks and stones. He’s also mad because Heller didn’t do enough to get Jack out of Chinese Prison. Audrey is in the house, medicated in bed and sleeping, and Heller lets Jack into her room. Jack says he has to let her go to keep her safe, or something like that. She is asleep the whole time; this is some of the finest acting Kim Raver has ever done. Jack leaves the house and walks onto the deck overlooking the cliffs at the ocean’s edge. And then there is a silent clock. I’ll bet he jumps…. not at all!
That was absolutely the Lamest Ending Ever for the Lamest Season Ever. Fitting.
Poll: Are you going to give 24 another chance and watch next year? After this crap, it’s going to be tough for me; we’ll see how they hype up next year. This season burned me big time.
Why I Will Buy Kelly Clarkson's New Album
Solely because of this quote, in response to a question about how she responds to people commenting on her weight:
You're just like, Oh, well, that sucks. But at the end of the day, it doesn't suck that much or else I'd do something about it. I work out when I want to work out; I don't work out when I don't want to work out. After a long day and I'm tired, yeah, a cookie helps. It makes me feel good.
That's my personal philosophy! Us fatties have to stick together. *runs off to check on concert date near me*
21 May 2007
Hot Damn!
First of all, let me say: the biggest indication of how bad 24 has been this year is the fact that instead of watching the 2-hour season finale, I spent more time with my sister. Shocker! I decided to time shift that finale to Tuesday night.
But of course I couldn't miss Heroes.
The Sylar/Peter face off had me jumping on my couch.
That was pretty much the perfect ending to a great first season! Hiro drops Ando off in Japan, and then heads to New York, where he impales Sylar with a sword. Peter starts to go nuclear, so he asks Claire to kill him. Instead, Nathan awesomely flies in and decides to save the world by flying Peter off into space so he can explode without harming anyone... except for Nathan. I hope Peter can regenerate after giving off the explosion, but is this it for Nathan? Really? I'm pissed if that's true, but with this show you never know so I'll excitedly wait for what they have in store next year. At least Nathan's last words were, "I love you, Peter." If this is the last time I see Nathan, I've at least got to get my last bit of brother-lovin' in there.
Matt got shot up real good, as did D.L. Sylar left a nice, smeary blood trail leading to a manhole cover, so he's not 100% done (YAY!). Molly Walker referenced a villain who is worse than Sylar, but we don't know who. And the show ends with Hiro transporting himself to the year 1670 and another solar eclipse. So, yeah, you never know.
Now I just have to wait for the DVDs on August 28th! Thanks for a great season! See you next year!
But of course I couldn't miss Heroes.
The Sylar/Peter face off had me jumping on my couch.
That was pretty much the perfect ending to a great first season! Hiro drops Ando off in Japan, and then heads to New York, where he impales Sylar with a sword. Peter starts to go nuclear, so he asks Claire to kill him. Instead, Nathan awesomely flies in and decides to save the world by flying Peter off into space so he can explode without harming anyone... except for Nathan. I hope Peter can regenerate after giving off the explosion, but is this it for Nathan? Really? I'm pissed if that's true, but with this show you never know so I'll excitedly wait for what they have in store next year. At least Nathan's last words were, "I love you, Peter." If this is the last time I see Nathan, I've at least got to get my last bit of brother-lovin' in there.
Matt got shot up real good, as did D.L. Sylar left a nice, smeary blood trail leading to a manhole cover, so he's not 100% done (YAY!). Molly Walker referenced a villain who is worse than Sylar, but we don't know who. And the show ends with Hiro transporting himself to the year 1670 and another solar eclipse. So, yeah, you never know.
Now I just have to wait for the DVDs on August 28th! Thanks for a great season! See you next year!
Tony Soprano = Father of the Year
Just got done watching this week's Sopranos. Tony saved his son's life and defended his daughter's honor. Leave it to dumbass A.J. to not even be smart enough to kill himself properly. He puts a plastic bag over his head, ties a cinder block to his leg, and jumps into the pool. Despite my clapping and yelling, "Die, A.J.!", the rope was too long and he was able to surface. Tony got home in enough time to save his life. That was pretty hysterical.
Then, Meadow is taunted by a guy at a restaurant. Tony's look when she told him about it was priceless. He beats the dude up, including a nice indoor curb job. Which resulted in one of the dude's teeth getting caught in Tony's pant cuff. Which he noticed in a family therapy session.
This one was good; I want Phil DEAD, that's all I know.
Then, Meadow is taunted by a guy at a restaurant. Tony's look when she told him about it was priceless. He beats the dude up, including a nice indoor curb job. Which resulted in one of the dude's teeth getting caught in Tony's pant cuff. Which he noticed in a family therapy session.
This one was good; I want Phil DEAD, that's all I know.
18 May 2007
GOODY!
Kim and Mike are visiting this weekend - their flight is arriving as we speak. I gotta blow this popsicle stand to meet them at home!
17 May 2007
About Last Night
I think the Final Two on American Idol are the perfect Final Two. We get two completely different styles. If Blake is smart, he will emphasize his voice and go easy on the beatboxing. And I think he's smart. Plus, show the tattoos and stop with the mismatched patterns and sweater vests. Jordin needs to play up the young thing, but without proclaiming, "I'm only 17!" every two seconds and mugging for the cameras. There -- my unsolicited advice for the finalists.
Lost was pretty good. The plan to blow up the tents when The Others raid the beach is destined to fail. Charlie's storyline almost gave me a creeper - and I hate Charlie! But the man was sacrificing himself so that people could be rescued. He swam to the underwater station and when he entered it, he was greeted by two gun-toting chicks. I have a feeling these chicks escaped The Others (maybe because they were being experimented on) and have been hiding out in the station.
If I remember correctly, I cheered at the television because Sayid finally put Jack in his place a bit. I heart Sayid!
Lost was pretty good. The plan to blow up the tents when The Others raid the beach is destined to fail. Charlie's storyline almost gave me a creeper - and I hate Charlie! But the man was sacrificing himself so that people could be rescued. He swam to the underwater station and when he entered it, he was greeted by two gun-toting chicks. I have a feeling these chicks escaped The Others (maybe because they were being experimented on) and have been hiding out in the station.
If I remember correctly, I cheered at the television because Sayid finally put Jack in his place a bit. I heart Sayid!
16 May 2007
The Real World Is Over
It's not a Real World finale unless someone reads some bad poetry they wrote. Thanks, Colie.
Jenn banged one roommate on the first episode and one on the last. I love how Davis and Jenn both cheat on their boyfriends, and then right afterwards, the first thing they do is call said boyfriends. But Stephen beats them both by banging Jenn and then getting in a suit and going to Church. Because he's got to pray on it. Good lord.
I always love the finales because everyone is all teary and thanking everyone for being such great friends. I wish they would have intercut the good-byes with scenes of Davis dropping the N-word, Davis calling Brooke fat, Tyree and Jenn almost coming to blows, Jenn banging the guy Colie liked, etc., etc.
Jenn banged one roommate on the first episode and one on the last. I love how Davis and Jenn both cheat on their boyfriends, and then right afterwards, the first thing they do is call said boyfriends. But Stephen beats them both by banging Jenn and then getting in a suit and going to Church. Because he's got to pray on it. Good lord.
I always love the finales because everyone is all teary and thanking everyone for being such great friends. I wish they would have intercut the good-byes with scenes of Davis dropping the N-word, Davis calling Brooke fat, Tyree and Jenn almost coming to blows, Jenn banging the guy Colie liked, etc., etc.
The Inferno Isn't Juicy Enough For Me
We finally get the "Tonya cheats on her husband episode." But it only involves her making out with Davis (she's a whore, he's a whore). Then, when she overhears the other girls talking S about her, I got excited, thinking she was going to bust in and bitch them out. But nooooo. We get New Sensitive Tonya. This is BS! She cried to her husband on the phone about how hurt she is that she can't make friends. This is not the Inferno I signed up for, dammit!
Also, Colie left in the prior episode, but that's about all that happened there.
Also, Colie left in the prior episode, but that's about all that happened there.
15 May 2007
American Idol: It's Anybody's Game
I'm stumped! I don't know who should make it to the finals.
Jordin's performances got better and better. So did Blake's. "Roxanne" made my ears bleed in a couple spots. But then that last song was off the hook!! I think Blake has the teenage white girl vote locked down, especially since he sang songs from this century. I think he's in.
Melinda was totally perfect on all three songs. But she doesn't have the Idol quality. Meaning she's stumpy and old-looking. And no fair giving her Whitney and Tina songs - of course she's going to work those out!
What was up with Paula's comments being so short tonight? No odd analogies, no lengthy explanations. Come on, Paula - we only have one more show for you to judge!
I'll go ahead and say it's Blake and Melinda in the finals. But I want my girl Jordin in there!
Jordin's performances got better and better. So did Blake's. "Roxanne" made my ears bleed in a couple spots. But then that last song was off the hook!! I think Blake has the teenage white girl vote locked down, especially since he sang songs from this century. I think he's in.
Melinda was totally perfect on all three songs. But she doesn't have the Idol quality. Meaning she's stumpy and old-looking. And no fair giving her Whitney and Tina songs - of course she's going to work those out!
What was up with Paula's comments being so short tonight? No odd analogies, no lengthy explanations. Come on, Paula - we only have one more show for you to judge!
I'll go ahead and say it's Blake and Melinda in the finals. But I want my girl Jordin in there!
Free Speech Endangered Again
My mouth is literally hanging open. This makes me LIVID! And not just because I'm an O&A fan. Some third party made joking comments about having sex with Condoleeza Rice and The Queen and they get SUSPENDED for it?! For 30 days?!
So much for satellite radio being a medium where shock jocks can get away with anything. XM Satellite Radio announced Tuesday that the network was suspending Gregg “Opie” Hughes and Anthony Cumia and ceasing to broadcast their “Opie and Anthony” show for 30 days effective immediately.
The two came under fire last week after they aired a segment that featured a homeless person saying he wanted to have sex with Condoleeza Rice, Laura Bush and Queen Elizabeth. The two even joked about Rice being raped and punched in the face.
Although the shock jocks apologized on Monday’s show, XM did not seem satisifed with their remarks. “XM Radio deplored the comments aired on “The Opie & Anthony Show” last week. At the time, the company strongly expressed its views to Opie and Anthony, and they issued an immediate apology,” the company said in the statement.
“Comments made by Opie and Anthony on yesterday’s broadcast put into question whether they appreciate the seriousness of the matter. The management of XM Radio decided to suspend Opie and Anthony to make clear that our on-air talent must take seriously the responsibility that creative freedom requires of them,” the company added.
I Believe in True Love
The elderly, while slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose.
Dateline: Masontown, PA. Kristin Georgi, 22, married Joe Hardy, 84, multimillionare founder of 84 Lumber who developed Nemacolin Woodlands and Resort.
The shock quotient is high on this one because of the age gap of three generations and because this is, after all, Western Pennsylvania, not Hollywood. "I saw their picture on TV," said Ronette Legrain, who lives in Brownsville. "She looks like his grandbaby. No -- his great-grandbaby."
In this town of 3,611, the new Mrs. Hardy is known as a pretty, petite and pleasant mother of a 3-year-old son. She met Mr. Hardy while working at the posh spa at Nemacolin.
She has told friends her love for Mr. Hardy is the real deal.
This is Mr. Hardy's third marriage. He was married for more than 50 years to his first wife, Dorothy, with whom he had five children. After the couple's divorce in 1997, he married Debra Maley, an 84 Lumber employee who was then 26, and they had two daughters before that marriage ended in divorce. Mr. Hardy was 74 at the time of the marriage.
14 May 2007
Heroes: Racking Up Quite the Body Count
Goddammit, I love Sylar. Last week he was a nerdy momma's boy. This week he's back to being a kickass villain, casually eating ice cream on the street corner while planning the destruction of New York. And flipping trucks over with a flip of his hand. LOVE HIM!
All the Heroes are meeting up, to hilarious effect. Jessica to Matt: "Didn't I throw you out a window?"
George Takei returns. To train Hiro in sword fighting.
Micah is too adorable for words, "talking to" the electronic voting booths and making Nathan win in a landslide.
R.I.P. Eric Roberts. Bennet plugged him in the head awesomely. R.I.P. Radioactive Man. Sylar's practicing his nuclear powers. R.I.P. Linderman. D.L. awesomely put his hand through his head and squeezed his brain or something equally gruesome. I was going to say R.I.P. D.L. - until I saw him alive in the previews. But you never know.
I am SO fired up for next week!
All the Heroes are meeting up, to hilarious effect. Jessica to Matt: "Didn't I throw you out a window?"
George Takei returns. To train Hiro in sword fighting.
Micah is too adorable for words, "talking to" the electronic voting booths and making Nathan win in a landslide.
R.I.P. Eric Roberts. Bennet plugged him in the head awesomely. R.I.P. Radioactive Man. Sylar's practicing his nuclear powers. R.I.P. Linderman. D.L. awesomely put his hand through his head and squeezed his brain or something equally gruesome. I was going to say R.I.P. D.L. - until I saw him alive in the previews. But you never know.
I am SO fired up for next week!
24: Almost Over People
The Chinese divide CTU into two groups: main characters and people we've never seen before. Jack, Nadia, and Morris embark on an extended hand-to-hand combat scene. And Morris is the least successful of the three. But all ends well, as Ricky comes in to save the day. Chinese-in-CTU problem? Solved.
Jack and Ricky are in pursuit of the Chinese that took Mutant Josh Bauer out of CTU through the sewers. Josh talks to his grandfather on the phone. Grandpa's plan is to take Josh to China. They would both be considered giants in that country, so this makes sense.
The CTU team catches up to the Chinese and there is a Shootout in an Empty Warehouse (TM, 24). It includes a patented Jack Bauer move where he slides across the floor while shooting, so it was a little bit money. Long story short, Jack takes out every Chinese practically single-handedly, and then rescues Josh by somehow lifting Josh's huge body with one arm. I guess not the arm he was stabbed in earlier. Cheng is the sole Chinese survivor and slips through the alleged perimeter.
Back in DC, Lisa is still banging her boyfriend. When they're done, Tom (watching from the van, you'll remember) hilariously says, "Aaaand... finally we're done." He is easily my favorite character this year, and the only thing that made this season worth watching! Boyfriend confronts Lisa, saying he knows she's lying about something. Lisa starts beating the crap out of him, and he returns the favor. Tom and goons run in to save the day, and they force Boyfriend to transmit the false info to the Russians. Lisa's unconscious. Bitch got what she deserved, if you ask me.
At CTU, someone from Division shows up to assess the security breach. It's that exciting.
Powers Boothe lies to the Russian President's video-conferenced face and tells him that they found and destroyed the component. The Russian President knows he's lying, and knows that they set Boyfriend up with false information. Russia 1, U.S. 0. Russia threatens an attack on the U.S. - in 2 hours. Just in time for the end of the season finale! Grandpa Bauer calls Powers Boothe. He wants Josh and passage to China, in exchange for the component. There is a "tense" scene where Powers, Karen, and Tom debate what to do. They decide to give up Josh. So Ricky takes him from Jack. With the help of a hella lame distraction. Some CTU agent is all, "Jack, you have a phone call." He walks toward the agent and Ricky takes Josh into a helicopter.
Next week: it's finally over. And Bill Buchanan makes an appearance. And Chloe is passed out on the floor or something. Sure, why not?
Jack and Ricky are in pursuit of the Chinese that took Mutant Josh Bauer out of CTU through the sewers. Josh talks to his grandfather on the phone. Grandpa's plan is to take Josh to China. They would both be considered giants in that country, so this makes sense.
The CTU team catches up to the Chinese and there is a Shootout in an Empty Warehouse (TM, 24). It includes a patented Jack Bauer move where he slides across the floor while shooting, so it was a little bit money. Long story short, Jack takes out every Chinese practically single-handedly, and then rescues Josh by somehow lifting Josh's huge body with one arm. I guess not the arm he was stabbed in earlier. Cheng is the sole Chinese survivor and slips through the alleged perimeter.
Back in DC, Lisa is still banging her boyfriend. When they're done, Tom (watching from the van, you'll remember) hilariously says, "Aaaand... finally we're done." He is easily my favorite character this year, and the only thing that made this season worth watching! Boyfriend confronts Lisa, saying he knows she's lying about something. Lisa starts beating the crap out of him, and he returns the favor. Tom and goons run in to save the day, and they force Boyfriend to transmit the false info to the Russians. Lisa's unconscious. Bitch got what she deserved, if you ask me.
At CTU, someone from Division shows up to assess the security breach. It's that exciting.
Powers Boothe lies to the Russian President's video-conferenced face and tells him that they found and destroyed the component. The Russian President knows he's lying, and knows that they set Boyfriend up with false information. Russia 1, U.S. 0. Russia threatens an attack on the U.S. - in 2 hours. Just in time for the end of the season finale! Grandpa Bauer calls Powers Boothe. He wants Josh and passage to China, in exchange for the component. There is a "tense" scene where Powers, Karen, and Tom debate what to do. They decide to give up Josh. So Ricky takes him from Jack. With the help of a hella lame distraction. Some CTU agent is all, "Jack, you have a phone call." He walks toward the agent and Ricky takes Josh into a helicopter.
Next week: it's finally over. And Bill Buchanan makes an appearance. And Chloe is passed out on the floor or something. Sure, why not?
On Second Thought....
As long as the spinoff features more hot guys macking on each other, we should be cool.
Why, NBC, Why?
Why must you ruin a good thing?
This frightens me. Just give me my Heroes straight up. Viewers select which character stays??!!! You're introducing a reality show gimmick to my favorite show?! I'm sorry to say I have no faith in this!
To stretch the normal 22-episode season of Heroes, NBC will add Heroes: Origins. The spinoff will introduce a new character each week, and viewers will select which one stays for the following season. The two series will have 30 new episodes combined.
This frightens me. Just give me my Heroes straight up. Viewers select which character stays??!!! You're introducing a reality show gimmick to my favorite show?! I'm sorry to say I have no faith in this!
The Sopranos: Hey, At Least Something Happened
At the beginning anyway. Tony and Christopher are driving and get in a bad car wreck. Chrissie's all F-ed up -- and then Tony suffocates him!!! Now the question is, did he kill him because he wanted to get rid of him and just seized this opportunity? Or, did he want to put him out of his misery? Or, was he pissed because Chrissie was using again and endangering his baby? Probably all of the above. In any case, R.I.P. Christophuh. At least he had that great scene last week when he shot Tim Daly in the head.
But after that death, nothing much happened. Tony went to Vegas and got high and seemed happy Chrissie was dead. Paulie's mom died and no one showed up to the wake. HA! And A.J. beat up another person and went to the psychiatrist. Fun times!
Also, Reason #436 not to live in New Jersey - the mob dumps asbestos in the water.
But after that death, nothing much happened. Tony went to Vegas and got high and seemed happy Chrissie was dead. Paulie's mom died and no one showed up to the wake. HA! And A.J. beat up another person and went to the psychiatrist. Fun times!
Also, Reason #436 not to live in New Jersey - the mob dumps asbestos in the water.
11 May 2007
Teen Sex in the News
Good news for the large percentage of my readership into hot teen sex and jumpy camera work....
NBC has ended weeks of speculation by granting a second season to Friday Night Lights, the critically acclaimed freshman drama that lagged in the ratings.
10 May 2007
Keep Living in Florida
Pretty nice state! Drought + fires = nastiness. Note the 3:00 AM "smoky smell." It's actually been around for two days. And there's a pervasive haze. It's not even a nice smoke smell, like a campfire. At least that would make me hungry for marshmallows. No, it's a sickening smoke smell that makes me nauseous on the ride home.
Good thing I don't know anyone who's coming to visit anytime soon! What kind of dumbass would move to Florida?!
Lost: Feels Like Old Times
OK, look, I don't care if Lost gives me answers. I just want it to be entertaining and scary - like the first season when I didn't want to watch it alone because it freaked me out. Well, I'm happy to say last night's episode was like a great first season episode!
Uncle Rico is Ben's father and he's a prick. Everyone on this island has daddy issues! They moved to the island so Uncle Rico could work for the Dharma Initiative. The Dharmas fight "hostiles" - supposedly island natives. Young Ben sees his dead mom in the jungle and goes after her and runs into the dude he now works with. The dude says he'll help Ben, which involves adult Ben putting on a gas mask while the rest of the Dharma Initiative is wiped out by gas.
In the present is where things got hella creepy. Ben tells Locke that he answers to Jacob. So they go to see Jacob, located in a creepy old house in the jungle. In the house is an empty chair, which Ben proceeds to have a conversation with!! This was way too scary - can Ben really see someone? Is he just crazy? We don't know. Locke has had enough, so he turns to leave and hears another voice say "Help me." I SHRIEKED AND SHOT UP OFF THE COUCH I WAS SO FREAKED OUT! This is the Lost I love! We rewound the scene and I screamed a second time! We freeze-framed it and in all the commotion you can definitely see a third person in the room - looks like a dude with long hair.
Ben and Locke leave and Ben is bitter because Locke could hear Jacob. So he shoots him in the abdomen! NO! Not my beloved Locke!! Ben asked Locke what Jacob said and Locke told him. Will Locke be healed? He better be.
Oh and back on the beach, I get angered by Jack more and more each week. Juliet is apparently working as a double agent, and Jack knows. Sayid asks why he didn't tell everyone else. Jack's response? "Because I hadn't decided what to do about it yet." I HATE JACK!! Who died and made him Jesus? Sayid should have been the "leader" not this a-hole.
Uncle Rico is Ben's father and he's a prick. Everyone on this island has daddy issues! They moved to the island so Uncle Rico could work for the Dharma Initiative. The Dharmas fight "hostiles" - supposedly island natives. Young Ben sees his dead mom in the jungle and goes after her and runs into the dude he now works with. The dude says he'll help Ben, which involves adult Ben putting on a gas mask while the rest of the Dharma Initiative is wiped out by gas.
In the present is where things got hella creepy. Ben tells Locke that he answers to Jacob. So they go to see Jacob, located in a creepy old house in the jungle. In the house is an empty chair, which Ben proceeds to have a conversation with!! This was way too scary - can Ben really see someone? Is he just crazy? We don't know. Locke has had enough, so he turns to leave and hears another voice say "Help me." I SHRIEKED AND SHOT UP OFF THE COUCH I WAS SO FREAKED OUT! This is the Lost I love! We rewound the scene and I screamed a second time! We freeze-framed it and in all the commotion you can definitely see a third person in the room - looks like a dude with long hair.
Ben and Locke leave and Ben is bitter because Locke could hear Jacob. So he shoots him in the abdomen! NO! Not my beloved Locke!! Ben asked Locke what Jacob said and Locke told him. Will Locke be healed? He better be.
Oh and back on the beach, I get angered by Jack more and more each week. Juliet is apparently working as a double agent, and Jack knows. Sayid asks why he didn't tell everyone else. Jack's response? "Because I hadn't decided what to do about it yet." I HATE JACK!! Who died and made him Jesus? Sayid should have been the "leader" not this a-hole.
09 May 2007
The Real World: Thailand
Brooke = me, and it's frightening. I was shocked she didn't complain about Bangkok more though. I know I would. It looks like a gaudy American boardwalk times a million and a million times smellier. And of course she gets stung by a jellyfish. And falls and hurts her tailbone. And gets seasick. Just a typical outdoor adventure with me!
It was hysterical how everyone lined up to pee on Brooke's foot - they just couldn't wait to treat her like the toilet she is.
Does Colie say "vagina" in every episode? Sloppy, drunk Colie is soooo nasty. That girl actually repulses me. I love Alex for cutting on her all the time. I'm sick of seeing her fat gut hanging over her bikini while she croaks out slurred words in that voice of hers. Is it wrong to wish AIDS on someone? She's on the right track, considering she banged some dude from Australia she just met.
Next week is either the last episode or the second to last, I think. Stephen and Jenn??!! But Jenn has a boyfriend and Stephen has a girlfriend! They would never think of cheating on them... right?
It was hysterical how everyone lined up to pee on Brooke's foot - they just couldn't wait to treat her like the toilet she is.
Does Colie say "vagina" in every episode? Sloppy, drunk Colie is soooo nasty. That girl actually repulses me. I love Alex for cutting on her all the time. I'm sick of seeing her fat gut hanging over her bikini while she croaks out slurred words in that voice of hers. Is it wrong to wish AIDS on someone? She's on the right track, considering she banged some dude from Australia she just met.
Next week is either the last episode or the second to last, I think. Stephen and Jenn??!! But Jenn has a boyfriend and Stephen has a girlfriend! They would never think of cheating on them... right?
Inferno: The Return of Bad Tonya
I was having a crappy week until today - when I found another new Inferno waiting for me on my DVR! I just watched a new one yesterday. How did this happen? Don't question it; enjoy it.
Alton, Timmy, and Ace refuse to get into the required Speedos for the challenge. This is disappointing, only because Alton is one of the ones refusing. He doesn't think he can fit his package into a Speedo. And I'm inclined to believe him. Ace is afraid of catching hell from his bros back home. And Timmy? I guess Timmy's worried his wrinkled old sack would spill out the side.
I'm surprised TJ didn't give the guys a hard time for not participating. I guess he only gets bitter when people quit during Infernos.
All the girls are good at catching liquid in their mouth and spitting it out. Shocker! And did TJ purposely pronounce "juice" like "jizz"?
I have a girl crush on Cara. That girl is perfect-looking.
Let's play the "I Hate Tonya Game"! I hate Tonya because she manufactures drama and preys on the weak. Who am I kidding? I LOVE Tonya!!
Alton, Timmy, and Ace refuse to get into the required Speedos for the challenge. This is disappointing, only because Alton is one of the ones refusing. He doesn't think he can fit his package into a Speedo. And I'm inclined to believe him. Ace is afraid of catching hell from his bros back home. And Timmy? I guess Timmy's worried his wrinkled old sack would spill out the side.
I'm surprised TJ didn't give the guys a hard time for not participating. I guess he only gets bitter when people quit during Infernos.
All the girls are good at catching liquid in their mouth and spitting it out. Shocker! And did TJ purposely pronounce "juice" like "jizz"?
I have a girl crush on Cara. That girl is perfect-looking.
Let's play the "I Hate Tonya Game"! I hate Tonya because she manufactures drama and preys on the weak. Who am I kidding? I LOVE Tonya!!
08 May 2007
Jive Singin' on American Idol
It's Bee Gees Night. And they're doing two songs each. Good thing I'm watching on DVR. Fast forward.
Melinda's good, as usual. First song (the song, not the performance) sucked ass. Second performance was better. Hair looked good. Wasn't inspiring.
Blake. These songs are only good if someone with the last name Gibb is singing them. It's just plain embarrassing when another guy sings them. The beatboxing didn't work for me either, Randy.
LaKisha. Leggings don't do her any favors. She's pretty good; the second performance was definitely better.
Jordin made "To Love Somebody" sound a little bit country - and I loved every second of it! That performance was amazing! I thought the second song (some crap sung by Barbra Streisand) was really good too, but the judges didn't love it. I may have been distracted, however, by the fact that Mike knew all the words and was singing along with her. WTF?
Nice eye makeup, Paula. Ryan - would it kill you to eat a cheeseburger or lift some weights? Put on some weight, dammit - you're standing next to a 17-year-old girl twice your size!!
Go home: Sorry to say Blake. The novelty is just that, a novelty. Won't last. Jordin should have this thing locked up.
Melinda's good, as usual. First song (the song, not the performance) sucked ass. Second performance was better. Hair looked good. Wasn't inspiring.
Blake. These songs are only good if someone with the last name Gibb is singing them. It's just plain embarrassing when another guy sings them. The beatboxing didn't work for me either, Randy.
LaKisha. Leggings don't do her any favors. She's pretty good; the second performance was definitely better.
Jordin made "To Love Somebody" sound a little bit country - and I loved every second of it! That performance was amazing! I thought the second song (some crap sung by Barbra Streisand) was really good too, but the judges didn't love it. I may have been distracted, however, by the fact that Mike knew all the words and was singing along with her. WTF?
Nice eye makeup, Paula. Ryan - would it kill you to eat a cheeseburger or lift some weights? Put on some weight, dammit - you're standing next to a 17-year-old girl twice your size!!
Go home: Sorry to say Blake. The novelty is just that, a novelty. Won't last. Jordin should have this thing locked up.
Inferno: Have a Mentioned That I Hate Danny?
Danny pulled out the Dead Mom card. Isn't there a 3 year expiration on that? I laughed out loud when he wrote his mother's name on his CHEEK for the Inferno. It looked so hurting! Lesson learned: those 'roids can reek havoc on your cardiovascular system. Bye bye, Neanderthal!
Next week: Bad Tonya returns. We could use the excitement!
Next week: Bad Tonya returns. We could use the excitement!
07 May 2007
Heroes: Why Are There Only 2 Episodes Left??!!
This wasn't the greatest episode ever, but it was definitely setting up the last two episodes, which should be.
New Hero: Molly Walker. The Little Girl Who Can Locate Anyone. She's dying from the same blood disease Mohinder's sister had. I figured out the antibody would be in Mohinder's blood. I don't understand all that, but I figured it out.
Sylar paints the future - him taking Ted's power and exploding. He claims he doesn't want to cause the apocalypse. He only kills people for their braaaains. Sylar goes back to his nerdy, Clark Kent-ish self and goes to see his mommy. Turns out Sylar has mommy issues - she's pushing him to not be normal, saying he could be President someday. Mmmm hmmm. Too bad he ends up accidentally stabbing her through the heart and killing her. And painting another floorpocalypse on her floor... with her blood.
How cute was Claire's reaction to finding out her Real Daddy can fly? A coy little "cool." I heart Claire!
Peter and Claire are the cutest incestuous couple since... Peter and Nathan. He gave her a gun and told her to kill him if he starts to go nuclear. They meet up with Bennet, Ted, and Matt. And Peter's hands start heating up. Get ready for the apocalypse, baby!
New Hero: Molly Walker. The Little Girl Who Can Locate Anyone. She's dying from the same blood disease Mohinder's sister had. I figured out the antibody would be in Mohinder's blood. I don't understand all that, but I figured it out.
Sylar paints the future - him taking Ted's power and exploding. He claims he doesn't want to cause the apocalypse. He only kills people for their braaaains. Sylar goes back to his nerdy, Clark Kent-ish self and goes to see his mommy. Turns out Sylar has mommy issues - she's pushing him to not be normal, saying he could be President someday. Mmmm hmmm. Too bad he ends up accidentally stabbing her through the heart and killing her. And painting another floorpocalypse on her floor... with her blood.
How cute was Claire's reaction to finding out her Real Daddy can fly? A coy little "cool." I heart Claire!
Peter and Claire are the cutest incestuous couple since... Peter and Nathan. He gave her a gun and told her to kill him if he starts to go nuclear. They meet up with Bennet, Ted, and Matt. And Peter's hands start heating up. Get ready for the apocalypse, baby!
24: Hey, At Least There Are Only 3 Left
24's not off to a good start. Josh Bauer gets named in the previouslies. This can only mean one thing: the Mutant Spawn of Jack is back!
Nadia tells Jack that Secretary Heller and Audrey have left CTU. Wow, that was the shortest cameo ever for William Devane. Hopefully he's taking her to a real medical facility.
In his holding cell, Jack tries to convince Nadia to let him go after Cheng, but this skinny B won't give in to his whispery powers of persuasion. She must have daddy issues.
CTU set up a perimeter around the warehouse they think Cheng is going to. Great idea - those perimeters always work! "Tough" Nadia gives Ricky's team their orders. There is "sexual tension" between Nadia and Ricky. But Ricky thinks girls have cooties!
CTU conducts its raid on the warehouse. In a bit of classic Prison Break misdirection, the Chinese aren't in it - just a bunch of empty weapons boxes signifying the Chinese are about to launch a major assault. Where, you ask? Well, a team of jacked-up Chinese are being sent to infiltrate CTU - from underneath, in the sewer lines.
Morris and Chloe, blah, blah. Why are they repeating the same crap over and over? WE KNOW!! HE ARMED THE NUKE!!!!!
Lisa (the President's Bimbo) is sent back to her boyfriend with false information on her PDA. The goal is to make him (and his Russian contacts) think they got the circuitboard back from the Chinese. She also has a video camera in her purse. Long story short, Tom is now in a van outside the house watching Lisa and the dude get it on. Priceless!
Milo (who looks like he's wearing a wig now) gives his blessing to Nadia if something "is happening between" her and Mike. Um. She just met him. Like 8 hours ago. And they're working. They don't have a relationship. Whatever.
Back to the Land of Chinese Infiltration. They knock out CTU communications and security cameras. TIME FOR A CODE RED LOCKDOWN BABY! Armed Chinese are everywhere. They have easily taken over CTU in a matter of seconds. Jack hears the commotion and gets a guard to let him out. Everyone in CTU is being held hostage, so now it's up to Jack! He shoots his way around the hallways. And gets an uzi off a dead Chinaman. Nice.
In Hostage Land, Milo tells the Chinese he is in command. And promptly gets shot square in the forehead. Another Season One-er bites the dust. Here's my problem with this: the Chinese asked who was in charge. How was Milo to know that Nadia would be in trouble if she stepped up? There was really no reason for him to put himself in her place. Other than as an excuse for him to get killed. And to clear the way for a Nadia/Ricky relationship.
The Chinese find Marilyn and Josh and it turns out the Chinese came for Josh. WHAT? Did he do his high school science project on Russian circuitboards? Jack saves them and they try to escape CTU. Josh makes it into the ventilation system; Jack and Marilyn do not.
The Chinese make Nadia answer Ricky's call and tell him everything is fine. She does, with no discernible distress code. The Chinese speak to Josh over the PA system, threatening to kill his mother if he doesn't show himself and go with them. "SHOOT HER!" I yell. Tragically, the Mutant Bauer complies.
Why did they want Josh? Because Grandpa Bauer wants him. Turns out he was the one working on the circuitboard for the Chinese and he gave them access to CTU. Mike figured it was him. I just figured he was gone forever since he disappeared about 15 hours ago.
Nadia tells Jack that Secretary Heller and Audrey have left CTU. Wow, that was the shortest cameo ever for William Devane. Hopefully he's taking her to a real medical facility.
In his holding cell, Jack tries to convince Nadia to let him go after Cheng, but this skinny B won't give in to his whispery powers of persuasion. She must have daddy issues.
CTU set up a perimeter around the warehouse they think Cheng is going to. Great idea - those perimeters always work! "Tough" Nadia gives Ricky's team their orders. There is "sexual tension" between Nadia and Ricky. But Ricky thinks girls have cooties!
CTU conducts its raid on the warehouse. In a bit of classic Prison Break misdirection, the Chinese aren't in it - just a bunch of empty weapons boxes signifying the Chinese are about to launch a major assault. Where, you ask? Well, a team of jacked-up Chinese are being sent to infiltrate CTU - from underneath, in the sewer lines.
Morris and Chloe, blah, blah. Why are they repeating the same crap over and over? WE KNOW!! HE ARMED THE NUKE!!!!!
Lisa (the President's Bimbo) is sent back to her boyfriend with false information on her PDA. The goal is to make him (and his Russian contacts) think they got the circuitboard back from the Chinese. She also has a video camera in her purse. Long story short, Tom is now in a van outside the house watching Lisa and the dude get it on. Priceless!
Milo (who looks like he's wearing a wig now) gives his blessing to Nadia if something "is happening between" her and Mike. Um. She just met him. Like 8 hours ago. And they're working. They don't have a relationship. Whatever.
Back to the Land of Chinese Infiltration. They knock out CTU communications and security cameras. TIME FOR A CODE RED LOCKDOWN BABY! Armed Chinese are everywhere. They have easily taken over CTU in a matter of seconds. Jack hears the commotion and gets a guard to let him out. Everyone in CTU is being held hostage, so now it's up to Jack! He shoots his way around the hallways. And gets an uzi off a dead Chinaman. Nice.
In Hostage Land, Milo tells the Chinese he is in command. And promptly gets shot square in the forehead. Another Season One-er bites the dust. Here's my problem with this: the Chinese asked who was in charge. How was Milo to know that Nadia would be in trouble if she stepped up? There was really no reason for him to put himself in her place. Other than as an excuse for him to get killed. And to clear the way for a Nadia/Ricky relationship.
The Chinese find Marilyn and Josh and it turns out the Chinese came for Josh. WHAT? Did he do his high school science project on Russian circuitboards? Jack saves them and they try to escape CTU. Josh makes it into the ventilation system; Jack and Marilyn do not.
The Chinese make Nadia answer Ricky's call and tell him everything is fine. She does, with no discernible distress code. The Chinese speak to Josh over the PA system, threatening to kill his mother if he doesn't show himself and go with them. "SHOOT HER!" I yell. Tragically, the Mutant Bauer complies.
Why did they want Josh? Because Grandpa Bauer wants him. Turns out he was the one working on the circuitboard for the Chinese and he gave them access to CTU. Mike figured it was him. I just figured he was gone forever since he disappeared about 15 hours ago.
Best Sopranos This Year
Finally a good one! I really enjoyed it; I thought the writing was awesome. AJ's depression over his break-up was great. (Lexapro shout-out!) Of course, Tony had the best advice - get a BJ. And the best consolation - "you're employed, you're white." Tony had a bunch of great lines, including saying AJ was in "the fetus position." One thing to pay attention to if you haven't noticed: Tony's breathing. Good lord, it's loud. His nose was whistling a lot this week.
Christopher v. Paulie was the greatest showdown ever. Chris throws Paulie's nephew out a window. So Paulie tears up Chris's lawn with his Caddy. Nice! Unfortunately, Chris starts drinking again - I can't stand obnoxious, drunk Christophuh. Chris's last scene was priceless - he visits Tim Daly, spilling his guts about how he could testify against Tony and enter witness protection. Tim doesn't want to hear it, so Chris shoots him in the forehead! WOAH! I screamed out loud for that one - that was out of nowhere. I think he was taking out all his pent-up aggression over Paulie and Tony on poor Tim.
Christopher v. Paulie was the greatest showdown ever. Chris throws Paulie's nephew out a window. So Paulie tears up Chris's lawn with his Caddy. Nice! Unfortunately, Chris starts drinking again - I can't stand obnoxious, drunk Christophuh. Chris's last scene was priceless - he visits Tim Daly, spilling his guts about how he could testify against Tony and enter witness protection. Tim doesn't want to hear it, so Chris shoots him in the forehead! WOAH! I screamed out loud for that one - that was out of nowhere. I think he was taking out all his pent-up aggression over Paulie and Tony on poor Tim.
Lost Will Be Ending "Soon"
You can't even call this "soon". It should have been wrapping up this year. Since when does 6 seasons mean it's a "limited run"?? This means another 3 years - it's going to be way overstaying its welcome at that point!
ABC is attempting to rescue once-hot Lost by ending the show — in 2010. Bowing to the fact that convention isn't working for the drama about plane-crash survivors on a surreal island, the network is taking the unusual step of turning Lost into a limited-run series. It will run for three shorter and uninterrupted seasons until its "highly anticipated and shocking finale" in the 2009-10 season, ABC said Monday.
The series, which saw its ratings drop this season amid complaints about scheduling, an increasingly meandering plot and unpopular new characters, still must prove itself to disenchanted viewers to survive.
A total of 48 episodes will air over the next three seasons, with 16 episodes running without a break each season in the style of Fox's 24.
No Sopranos Update
We finally got a rainstorm last night, which we badly needed. Unfortunately, said rainstorm knocked out our cable. So we'll have to catch The Sopranos tonight. Worth it?
My Spider-Man 3 Review: No Surprises Here
I can't decide if the movie was called Spider-Man 3 because there were 3 things in it that I liked, because there were only 3 fight scenes, or because there were no fewer than 3 song and dance numbers in it. Let me say that again. There were THREE SONG AND DANCE NUMBERS!!
The movie really is a disjointed mess. It's like the writers had a bunch of 30-to-40-second scenes and they picked them out of a hat to determine what order they should be in. It just hopped all over the place. Although it did follow a general pattern: boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, boring, boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, etc., etc.
The lamest thing: the transformation into "Badass" Peter Parker when he's infected with Venom. He gets emo bangs (way shorter and lamer than Peter Petrelli's) and wears black eyeliner. Why not go all the way and give him black fingernails too?
The 3 things I liked: Topher Grace, Venom, and the New Goblin. Topher Grace was his usual, funny self - I like that kid. On the other hand, every time Tobey Maguire cried, I laughed (and died a little inside).
So I guess I didn't like this movie, huh? When I watch it on DVD, I can skip all the B.S. and keep the movie under 30 minutes.
The movie really is a disjointed mess. It's like the writers had a bunch of 30-to-40-second scenes and they picked them out of a hat to determine what order they should be in. It just hopped all over the place. Although it did follow a general pattern: boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, boring, boring, interesting, cheesy, fight scene, lame, etc., etc.
The lamest thing: the transformation into "Badass" Peter Parker when he's infected with Venom. He gets emo bangs (way shorter and lamer than Peter Petrelli's) and wears black eyeliner. Why not go all the way and give him black fingernails too?
The 3 things I liked: Topher Grace, Venom, and the New Goblin. Topher Grace was his usual, funny self - I like that kid. On the other hand, every time Tobey Maguire cried, I laughed (and died a little inside).
So I guess I didn't like this movie, huh? When I watch it on DVD, I can skip all the B.S. and keep the movie under 30 minutes.
04 May 2007
I Called It: Speederman is Going to be Dreadful
On Rotten Tomatoes right now Speederman 3 has a 62%. That's pretty poo-poo. The first one had a 90% and the second a 93%. And I hated the second one. (The Cream of the Crop rating - the big, mainstream, non-fanboy critics - is a paltry 45%.)
Speederman is the lamest because he is such a pansy cry-baby. Waah, I don't want to have my powers, waah. And he makes out with a snaggletooth. This one is supposed to have even more soap-opera-style melodrama. Yay.
This review supports that (Toronto Star):
I don't watch Smallville because it's Dawson's Creek, only eventually Pacey grows up to be Superman. Same deal with this crap. I'm looking forward to seeing this lame movie this weekend. NOT AT ALL!
Speederman is the lamest because he is such a pansy cry-baby. Waah, I don't want to have my powers, waah. And he makes out with a snaggletooth. This one is supposed to have even more soap-opera-style melodrama. Yay.
This review supports that (Toronto Star):
What's with all the crying? Both heroes and villains shed tears so readily, you almost want to stand up mid-screening and ask director Sam Raimi to stop the projector so everybody can have a group hug.
I don't watch Smallville because it's Dawson's Creek, only eventually Pacey grows up to be Superman. Same deal with this crap. I'm looking forward to seeing this lame movie this weekend. NOT AT ALL!
Get Jack Bauer On This Stat!
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, a U.S. senator from Illinois, has been placed under the protection of the Secret Service, the agency said Thursday.
The government is not aware of any specific, credible threat against Obama, according to a law enforcement source familiar with the decision. But his office has received hate mail and calls and other "threatening materials" in the past and during his campaign, the source said.
Three Obama campaign officials who discussed the issue on condition of anonymity also said there was no specific threat against the candidate.
They said the request stemmed from what one called the "cumulative effect" of a heavier campaign schedule, larger crowds and "just the growing perception internally" it was time to take additional security precautions that are best suited for the Secret Service.
The government is not aware of any specific, credible threat against Obama, according to a law enforcement source familiar with the decision. But his office has received hate mail and calls and other "threatening materials" in the past and during his campaign, the source said.
Three Obama campaign officials who discussed the issue on condition of anonymity also said there was no specific threat against the candidate.
They said the request stemmed from what one called the "cumulative effect" of a heavier campaign schedule, larger crowds and "just the growing perception internally" it was time to take additional security precautions that are best suited for the Secret Service.
03 May 2007
Lost: Huh?
Lost had me all discombobulated this week, but I guess it's half my cable company's fault. Our cable was out, then it came back and I was able to watch the last 5 minutes of American Idol (smell ya later, Phil and Chris - HA HA) and the first 45 minutes of Lost. Then it cut out again! DAGGER! Don't think of pulling that S during Heroes! So I watched the last 15 minutes online this morning.
Anyway, Naomi, the chick who parachuted in last week, said she was sent to rescue Desmond, but that the world thinks all the plane crash survivors are dead. The wreckage of their plane was found at the bottom of the ocean, along with all the (dead) passengers. Kate told Jack (in front of Juliet) about Naomi. I wanted to choke her for trusting Jack so much and then stupidly talking in front of Juliet. Juliet's response was to say to Jack, "We should tell her." Jack: "No. Not yet." HUH? So I'm guessing either they know something about Naomi (maybe she didn't really parachute in) or maybe they know something about how they'll never be able to get Naomi's phone/radio to work?
Ben tried to force Locke to kill his father. Locke couldn't do it, so he went to get Sawyer, after he found out that his father was the con man responsible for the deaths of Sawyer's parents. Sawyer finds this out and kills Locke's father good. Locke's father was portrayed as such a belligerent prick, how could you fault Sawyer for choking him with a chain, Jack Bauer-style? But before he died, Locke's father claimed they were all in Hell.
Locke tells Sawyer about Juliet being a mole and planning a raid on the camp. Then he goes off on his own, dead father in tow.
I didn't get to see any previews online, but I really hope they showed Sawyer punching Juliet and Jack in their faces because I want that to happen SO BAD!
Anyway, Naomi, the chick who parachuted in last week, said she was sent to rescue Desmond, but that the world thinks all the plane crash survivors are dead. The wreckage of their plane was found at the bottom of the ocean, along with all the (dead) passengers. Kate told Jack (in front of Juliet) about Naomi. I wanted to choke her for trusting Jack so much and then stupidly talking in front of Juliet. Juliet's response was to say to Jack, "We should tell her." Jack: "No. Not yet." HUH? So I'm guessing either they know something about Naomi (maybe she didn't really parachute in) or maybe they know something about how they'll never be able to get Naomi's phone/radio to work?
Ben tried to force Locke to kill his father. Locke couldn't do it, so he went to get Sawyer, after he found out that his father was the con man responsible for the deaths of Sawyer's parents. Sawyer finds this out and kills Locke's father good. Locke's father was portrayed as such a belligerent prick, how could you fault Sawyer for choking him with a chain, Jack Bauer-style? But before he died, Locke's father claimed they were all in Hell.
Locke tells Sawyer about Juliet being a mole and planning a raid on the camp. Then he goes off on his own, dead father in tow.
I didn't get to see any previews online, but I really hope they showed Sawyer punching Juliet and Jack in their faces because I want that to happen SO BAD!
02 May 2007
The Real World: Drunken Debauchery
Hey Colie, don't let anyone tell you you're not all class. You gave a buy a BJ on television. And bragged about it.
Hey Alex, you've been intimate with Jenn (twice) and Colie. Does it burn when you pee?
They're going to Thailand for their vacation. But Colie might catch something! Brooke says she's afraid of Asia. What isn't she afraid of? Heights, bowling, Asia.
I love how Colie turned the fact that she needs to sleep with dudes into some psychological abandonment trauma from her childhood. No, she's just a whore. Didn't need to see her blurred-out boobies while she was waking up with Guy No. 6.
Did I hallucinate the quick, gratuitous shot of Davis passed out, sitting at the computer, with his boxers around his ankles? I didn't want to rewind to find out. How does that even happen?
Hey Alex, you've been intimate with Jenn (twice) and Colie. Does it burn when you pee?
They're going to Thailand for their vacation. But Colie might catch something! Brooke says she's afraid of Asia. What isn't she afraid of? Heights, bowling, Asia.
I love how Colie turned the fact that she needs to sleep with dudes into some psychological abandonment trauma from her childhood. No, she's just a whore. Didn't need to see her blurred-out boobies while she was waking up with Guy No. 6.
Did I hallucinate the quick, gratuitous shot of Davis passed out, sitting at the computer, with his boxers around his ankles? I didn't want to rewind to find out. How does that even happen?
One Person Will Understand This
I have to ask... if Britney went to UNLV do you think she'd get a 1.2 GPA?
Blake Lewis Shoots Through My Heart
But in a good way! I can't get enough of this - I think it was one of the most original, greatest performances on American Idol! Only complaint - not enough eyeliner, and no tattoos showing.
Inferno: Drunken Debauchery
For whatever reason, my DVR didn't tape yesterday afternoon's version of The Inferno. And I was too worn out after Jon Bon Jovi Night to watch it at 10. Good thing there's MTV.com!
The show started with some good, old-fashioned MTV drunken debauchery. You know, people being thrown into pools and men slapping other men's bare asses. The good stuff.
Hey Ace, if you break into a girl's room in the middle of the night rocking her bed and singing Air Supply, you deserve to get hit in the face.
Hey Davis, way to get the matches wet when the mission's goal is to make a fire.
Hey Danny, I didn't learn that steel wool and batteries start a fire in fourth grade. In fact, I just learned it 20 minutes ago when you said it.
I hope Davis takes Danny OUT in the Inferno! Danny better 'roid up.
The show started with some good, old-fashioned MTV drunken debauchery. You know, people being thrown into pools and men slapping other men's bare asses. The good stuff.
Hey Ace, if you break into a girl's room in the middle of the night rocking her bed and singing Air Supply, you deserve to get hit in the face.
Hey Davis, way to get the matches wet when the mission's goal is to make a fire.
Hey Danny, I didn't learn that steel wool and batteries start a fire in fourth grade. In fact, I just learned it 20 minutes ago when you said it.
I hope Davis takes Danny OUT in the Inferno! Danny better 'roid up.
The Feet In Question Belong To....
No surprise here, folks. Kirsten Dunst's feet are as ugly and leprosy-ridden as the rest of her.
AI: All Bon Jovi, All Night
I'm a big Bon Jovi fan, so I knew going into last night that I would at least know every song. And they were all awesome.
Phil looked tanner. But still like a bat boy. And he was good! Dagger! I don't like him - he's supposed to be bad! Powder got stage presence sometime in the last 2 weeks!
Jordin was just ai'ight. And at least she knew it. Rock was tough for my girl. She shouldn't be condemned for this. I love how Jordin is twice Ryan's size (width and height) and half his age.
Just when I was thinking the girls would be at a disadvantage having to sing a man's song, LaKisha proved me wrong. She turned that song into her song. She tore that S up. She was so good, Simon kissed her. It was sweet and hysterical.
Blake darkened his hair and I'm loving it. I really loved his performance - the arrangement and the beat boxing. It's the Blake Remix! I loved every second. Bold bold bold.
Chris pissed me off because he sang my song (Wanted Dead or Alive) and he was pretty good. I'm supposed to hate him too. Luckily, I still do because he wasn't great.
Jesus, Melinda can really sing anything. She's such a performer and looked younger (and better) again.
No one was horrible. I think only Jordin got mostly-negative comments. Save Jordin!
Go home: Chris and Phil, but just based on my dislike for them.
Phil looked tanner. But still like a bat boy. And he was good! Dagger! I don't like him - he's supposed to be bad! Powder got stage presence sometime in the last 2 weeks!
Jordin was just ai'ight. And at least she knew it. Rock was tough for my girl. She shouldn't be condemned for this. I love how Jordin is twice Ryan's size (width and height) and half his age.
Just when I was thinking the girls would be at a disadvantage having to sing a man's song, LaKisha proved me wrong. She turned that song into her song. She tore that S up. She was so good, Simon kissed her. It was sweet and hysterical.
Blake darkened his hair and I'm loving it. I really loved his performance - the arrangement and the beat boxing. It's the Blake Remix! I loved every second. Bold bold bold.
Chris pissed me off because he sang my song (Wanted Dead or Alive) and he was pretty good. I'm supposed to hate him too. Luckily, I still do because he wasn't great.
Jesus, Melinda can really sing anything. She's such a performer and looked younger (and better) again.
No one was horrible. I think only Jordin got mostly-negative comments. Save Jordin!
Go home: Chris and Phil, but just based on my dislike for them.
01 May 2007
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